An Update on "Why @Apope16's "Confessions of a Ladies Man" series has to stop"

[Anonymous]

I recently wrote a myTake on @Apope16's "Confessions of a Ladies Man" series and since many users decided to share their views on it, I figured it would be right to respond to some of the criticism I got for writing the piece in a more formal and general way.

Here's the take: Why @Apope16's "Confessions of a Ladies Man" series has to stop

My motivation/my motives for writing the myTake

As a woman, I felt inclined to step forward and say that what he's doing isn't okay. I don't feel that @Apope16's posts deserve the amount of attention they get and I think it's worth saying that he gets his fair share of criticism on here already, but doesn't change how he goes about writing his unhelpful takes. Also, the language @Apope16 uses to talk about women and their bodies in particular is degrading, and hence I strongly believe that he should work on using more appropriate language instead.

I backed this up with quotes from his posts in my last post.

I certainly didn't intend to write a "hit piece" like @Apope16 called it in his reponse: Confessions of a Ladies Man: My Response to Today's GAG Hit Piece About Me

Why did I post this anonymously?

To find out what people really think. I'm an established user of this site and have been around for some time, so I wanted to read what some of the people I follow think about @Apope16's writing.

Also, I wanted to deal with the backlash in private and didn't want to be messaged about the post.

Was my post a violation to the rules of G@G?

Some users pointed out that my post should be removed, but if you read it carefully, I didn't insult @Apope16. My post was reviewed by the G@G team and moved to another category, namely the G@G Community category, where I do believe addressing the series an Influencer of this site has chosen to write should have its place.

Why do I read the series at all?

Because the posts are usually featured. Period. And I don't think they should be, because they're not helpful. The advice offered by @Apope16 may apply to a certain percentage of women, but in my experience, women and men alike are all different and don't want to be treated in a certain way just because they have one gender (or the other).

@FilmGuy93 shared this:

I have noticed a lot that men's dating advice totally ignores the benefits of being an interesting, entertaining, and uplifting person. I have never met anyone, male or female, that doesn't want to feel appreciated, valued and uplifted by the people around them.

It seems to me that that is the best dating advice anyone could give.

Alpha and Beta males

This was a highly discussed aspect to @Apope16's writing under my post and I truly believe that these words simply shouldn't be used because they put men in strange categories.

Why @Apope16's response disappointed me

He didn't address the criticism I shared in his comment to my take - and in the reponse take he wrote, he said that he only writes what he writes for "marketing purposes" (read the whole thing here: Confessions of a Ladies Man: My Response to Today's GAG Hit Piece About Me ).

So what I've learned is that I won't be giving @Apope16 any more of my attention - I put my thoughts out there and learned that most men and women are aware of the fact that his advice is bad and unhelpful.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I enjoyed reading your opinions and points!

Also, thank you to everyone who wrote meaningful comments under my last take, it really meant a lot and made it easier to repond. I haven't seen such genuinely great comments in a while!

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Super happy to see you update. If I knew who you were, I'd follow you because I appreciate how articulate you were in your last post and this one.

As for your anonymity; given how toxic the internet is for people in general and the fact it is usually tenfold for women (harassment, slut-shaming, being labeled over-emotional, dumb-feminazis, or my favorite: immediately having our bodies attacked or being called unfuckable/ugly for having opinions), I don't blame you for being anonymous.

And for people who think you're hypocritical for this, I'd also like to point out that the majority of people on this site do not include their real names, images, or anything of the like, such as myself, and are subsequently technically posting anonymously ourselves.
I think what disappointed me the most was the inability the man had to listen to a woman's perspective. For someone who claims to be SO SUCCESSFUl with women, he was quick to get defensive, immediately commenting on people's weights and ugliness in the comments of your post. He was so defensive instead of actually taking any consideration into how the women he is encouraging other men to "pick up" or whatever, he doubled down.

Interesting how men who want the affection of women aren't willing to listen to women's criticisms on how they might talk about or approach them. It's almost as though the man can't fathom that women might not find his "advice" to be respectful or effective towards them. How dare a woman to insult his ability to acquire and woo them with his fantastic advice and degrading views about them, such as how we "don't even understand ourselves."

Anyway, the content is very drab, unoriginal and I think you did everyone a favor by pointing out his nonsense. I just wish he actually took it to heart instead of being a Chad.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for sharing this :)

[NathanDavis]

I think the only difference between a -blue Anon troll that constantly posts useless bullshit- and Apope... is just the fact that he uses an actual username, and the tags/tools provided by the GaG site.

Which in a way, highlights the -questionable or unavoidable- and perhaps necessity for this site to generate traffic, even if it is done through controversial and nasty takes such as Apopes, as vapid and as ridiculous as they can be, the site will give them the same value as the work and effort of other influencers/editors that are actually worth a read.

And with that said, I still think it was great to see on your first take on this, that the people, the community is widely aware of this situation, and they... definitely won't give his takes the value that it does not have, traffic yes... but not the value, that was something good to witness, and I am sure Apope saw it as well, and I am also sure he already knew this is the case, and that's why his turd response came out the way it did... a denial of the reality, because well... that's Apope, the so-called Alpha that needs to portray his own delusion, for whatever twisted reason it might be.

[myTake Owner]

I couldn't agree more! I was so happy to see the G@G community come forward to share their thoughts on the topic in a more neutral environment than his posts are.
I also noticed that the people who agreed with him didn't back their claims that women are exactly the way @Apope16 makes them out to be with anything other than their *personal experience*, so that was pretty weak.

Good point on the difference between traffic and value.

[OlderAndWiser]

"So what I've learned is that I won't be giving @Apope16 any more of my attention" But that's exactly what you did by writing one more post about him. Are you and he secretly partners and you are promoting him?

[myTake Owner]

No, we're certainly not partners.
I simply wanted to follow up on my previous post because the same questions/arguments kept popping up.

[OlderAndWiser]

And it all has the effect of giving him even more attention.

[HawkPerception]

To be honest, I agree with some of his stuff as it does resonate with some guys and I also disagree and ignore most of his posts that trigger me a little as he talks about how guys should act with women and why some guys always get the girls.

But the main thing that brings me to this app/site is the freedom of speech/opinion it allows. I don't think his intentions are to specifically offend anyone. He just has strong opinions that many disagree with. It's another story if it's hate speech or blatant insults.

What I do wish is that GaG would remove the option of being anonymous. Everyone is already as anonymous as they want to be on the site. You use a username and any picture you want. Not your real name and your real picture. The fact that you have to hide behind being anonymous on top of that because you fear the negativity in the responses and it being related back to your profile is kind of pathetic. And I've noticed whenever you post an opinion on an anonymous question that they don't like, they're more likely to insult you. Whenever I post a question, I never allow anonymous answers.

The fact that you talk crap about someone else's profile and posts behind anonymous regardless of my opinion on this subject makes me respect you a lot less, not that you care for it lol. But I'm a believer of free speech. If you don't like his posts, ignore them.

[ChrisMaster69]

I’ve followed both threads and let them flow without comment.

I agree with pretty much everything you have said, it does seem to be a very specific ideal across the Pond that men seem to want to follow.

Well said on both posts.

I may have (he says) had a few arguments, discussions on Adopes Confessions MyTakes.

I may be a twat with low morals in to dubious kinky stuff lol, however I do have respect for women to be their own persons etc.

I have from when I first been vocal against Alpha ideal, it’s hysterical.

I have noticed it’s use has diminished (thank fuck).

@ pretty pink Anon congrats and well said

[myTake Owner]

Thank you so much for your feedback - I noticed that you frequently commented on @Apope16's posts actually.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ pretty Pink Anon, I think commenting may be an understatement.

I echo @bakedbeaniebabie (god fancy typing that out never mind saying it hehe) in what she said.

I fully understand why you are Anon, shit I should at times but I won’t out of principal.

I still stand by my belief that if you want to know how to talk to a girl, ask another girl…. To me it’s just seems bloody obvious.

[myTake Owner]

I also loved what she wrote and it resonated with me perfectly!
Thanks for understanding - some consider it to be cowardly behaviour, I just think it's smart when you want to maintain your credibility as a somewhat respected user of this site...
I agree that asking the gender that is concerned will always work best.

[Knighted2170]

He's an idiot that mixes half bits of truth with fantasy and myths. The half truths are only there so a person can't totally disagree.

Most of his stuff is based around sex and the act of sex. It reminds me of high school teenagers. The whole "alpha male" thing was even debunked by the scientist who coined the term back in 1968. Kind of shows how much he is still a follower of myths to begin with.

Anyone who follows him, or uses his "advice," is going to find themselves sorely disappointed in the overall results.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

YES! FINALLY! SOMEBODY BESIDES ME POINTING OUT THE DEBUNKING OF THAT TERM! THANK YOU!

[anon1903]

He's spinning controversies to get ahead, that's what he meant by "marketing purposes".

When he was new, I was his follower. His questions were level headed. Just general spice, to put it simply. We found each other's sexual answers helpful.

Then after a while, he became insane. I guess I unfollowed him when instead of whining like a dead ass Casanova, he started blame throwing and posting psychotic rants. I personally don't hate him (even though I've blocked him), I just don't understand why GaG has promoted a sexist to editor's level.

Great take! Made my day.

[myTake Owner]

Couldn't agree more. Interesting history you have with him..

[anon1903]

I'm a writer too after all.

[Unit1]

He's a plonker and I'm glad I'm not the only one with at least a fair amount of common sense to see that he is merely shitposting. The most I would do is read what this self proclaimed "ladies man" (more like he's a womanizer) advises and not follow up to them, ergo, I don't do what he recommends doing.

But of course the best course of action is not reading his posts at all. I personally won't be wasting my time with these kindergarten games. People, who do what he does is the reason why dating sucks for both men and women.

[Anonymous]

I mean i dont agree with his bullshit, sexist and unscientific takes such as squirting for 2 hours lol. Retards who agree with him would freak out if the genders were reversed but i would not forbid him to make takes. What i dont understand is why he can do such takes while being an editor. I think editors, admins etc should be neutral and apolitical. He misuses his power of being an editor in my opinion. If he was not an editor his takes would not get any attention or it would not be on the homepage. At least he does not slut-shame women which i dont expect it from him lol

[myTake Owner]

He's not just an editor (a term used to describe people who, quoting G@G, "have consistently written informative, interesting, or helpful myTakes"), he's also an Influencer. I agree that he misuses his power.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Fuck most of the editors and influencers here. :D They can get of their high horses and stick cacti up each other's asses. :)

[SaoirseS]

I might have read one or two of his takes a while back. He can post anything he wants, even controversial ones. That’s the idea behind free speech. But for quite some time now I just scroll past them without reading anything more than the title. It looks to me he doesn’t write to inform, he writes to provoke because he craves the attention. Don’t rise to the bait, just scroll on by. I have no use for his stuff.

[Ernie883]

Sorry that you feel that your posts or advice is crap and is useless to everyone. I'm positive it's not. And people post some wonderful yet crazy shit so don't be so hard on yourself.
I for example went on rant lastnite and wish I hadn't. I'd feel even worse but am discovering that I have nearly made a habit of going off on whatever I find all while I'm out cold like a zombie. Have real issues that I am aware of causing me to not sleep for 9 days today. Been an issue 11 years now that comes and goes. But point is seemed easy to see you truly just are here to help someone. Was hard to read what you typed like watching a person kick a puppy or slap a little kid. Thanks for even considering trying to improve a persons situation at all. Need planet of like you's. You are a benefit not a problem.

[RHK36]

I've never heard of him or seen his posts. If a post looks stupid, I don't even look at it. Ultimately who cares, this app doesn't reach a large enough audience that whatever he is spewing is dangerous.

It's freedom of speech and if other dummies want to praise him or read it, why does it matter to you enough to make posts about it. If anything you're promoting his/her content by talking unnecessarily about it.

Also kind of a soft move to critique someone anonymously, just comes off like you're a Karen. People act like reputation matters on here 😂.

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. If someone says something dumb, we have the freedom to make fun of them for it.

[RHK36]

Didn't say you couldn't, just said it was pointless. I'm not wrong that if anything he/she is promoting their content. Like you said freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.

[Pasiton5]

I never heard of it or him and wouldn't waste my time reading it so i can't comment fully in what he says I'm be sure to steer clear of his post, article whatever he has, I'll only say one must be highly immature to say such things as you mentioned

[myTake Owner]

I couldn't agree more...

[Anonymous]

LMFAO! You put down a bunch of vague criticisms along the lines of "I don't think he should get so much attention," "he should use more appropriate language," etc. Okay so YOU don't like it. So what? There are plenty of things that I don't like. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be in the world. What is your beef with his opinion? You have a problem that he sees some women's bodies as attractive and others as unattractive? WTF? Are we all in grade school now? Guess what? Some bodies ARE more attractive than others. Pretending otherwise is just downright delusional. Also to think that IF ONLY people didn't voice their opinion that some bodies are more attractive than others then somehow everyone would no longer see any distinction and everything would be equal is beyond stupid. It's freaking 3 year old thinking.

Kudos to you for your hot take at the end of all this though. If you don't like he writes, just stop reading it. Simple as that.

[Giselleselfish]

I’m pretty sure you’re the guy she’s talking about 😂

[myTake Owner]

@Giselleselfish Probably.

[Anonymous]

You don't like what he posts... got it. You try to shame him into not posting... knew that was gonna fall flat, but whatever. Now you're trying to get everyone else to not read what he writes, or not agree with it... that's gonna fall flat, too. Why? Because the majority of what he writes is actually true. Maybe not for every woman, but the outliers are either those who are too far gone to bother with, or are so far above the average woman that she's not gonna play stupid games.

And having dated women who don't play games, and being good friends with some others, they would agree with most of what he posts. The women who hate his posts so much that they'd make post after post about his posts are probably the ones who play too much bullshit

[Anonymous]

I'm going to distill all of what you've written in your two MyTakes into one sentence. You are a woman who is butt hurt by many of the opinions and facts @Apope16 has posted, so much so that you felt the need to write two entire MyTakes about your butt hurtness. Do I need to point out how silly and pathetic that is?

Most of what Apope16 posts is just encouraging people to be a better version of themselves and question norms. Some of it is a man's perspective on things that some women see differently, but that is what GAG is all about. Feeling the need to write two entire MyTakes about what you disagree with about one user is pretty sad.

[Opinion Owner]

@errorgoodnameunfound Stop projecting, homo boy.

[Opinion Owner]

@errorgoodnameunfound That's OK, I do take it as a compliment that you prefer to take it in the ass from other guys.

[OddBeMe]

I agree in your criticism. I'm not for censoring but maybe we just stop making the prick an influencer.

[myTake Owner]

I don't want to censor him, I'd simply want him to discontinue his series - in my opinion, he could still write the same crappy posts, but I'd like him to change the title to something less misleading! I hope that makes sense.

[myTake Owner]

Also, he really shouldn't be an Influencer, simply because he doesn't produce GOOD content.

[OddBeMe]

I’m not sure how Gag picks influencers or if there are “pro” accounts gag employs to keep up engagement…

[kespethdude]

All I can say is he lost his credibility a long time ago, I even told him that on one of his posts.

[etexbearkat]

I think he’s more of a troll than anything else. I look at those posts as troll posts, and nothing more.

[Feelicks]

I'm not really in favor of pearl clutching censorship.

Apope16 isn't inciting anyone to violence or in any way breaking the law, so maybe you shouldn't try to silence him just for being distasteful lest the same be done to you.

[sp33d]

If he doesn't answer to your criticism that's more or less admitting that he's trolling. Regard him as a fiction writer. There's nothing more to learn from him.

[Anonymous]

Don't see how encouraging people to be healthy and only going for healthy people is a bad thing

[myTake Owner]

Could you explain this please?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it was supposed to go on the other mytake