Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

Men will only treat you the way that you allow them to.

As much as we want to believe every guy out there has good intentions, that wouldn't be realistic thinking.

Some guys only have their own interest at heart.

Some men will manipulate, lie, and cheat you out of possessions to get what they want.

You have to be aware and alert to notice these things or they will fly right over your head.

If you are treated in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment.

The only way things will get better is if you recognize where you went wrong and take

preventive measures from doing so in the future.

Ladies,

1. Sex will not make him stay!

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

You feel that your boyfriend is straying because you haven't had sex with him yet.

Do not think that giving your body to him, will make him feel any differently than he did before.

A man that truly loves you doesn't have to be bribed or convinced into sticking around.

He will already know the treasure that he has and will respect your decision to wait.

There are many women that give it up to their men on a regular basis,

only to get cheated on.

So, what does that tell you?

Does giving your boyfriend sex before you are ready really make a difference?

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

In your mind,

somehow you believe that sex with your boyfriend will draw you two

closer together.

Yes, sex has the ability to do that.

But that is only if both people are at the same emotional/mental stage.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

2. Persuasion

Some men will go to extreme lengths to get what they want.

They may act as if you're the only girl for them, just to get it.

Some men will beg you, and try to peer pressure you into moving forward with them.

A man that respects you, will accept your choice (not to give it up).

He will not insist that you follow his lead instead.

Someone that cannot enjoy your company without it being sex of all of the time,

doesn't truly care for you as a individual.

Someone that values you will place a high amount in your mind, instead

of always focusing on your body.

Sex should be a bonus that adds to the greatness,

that already exists in a relationship.

It shouldn't be looked at as an obligation to keep someone happy that never was in the first place.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

3. Interaction will not be just a one way street

Interactions will instead be a two way street.

Your guy of choice will show with his actions that he enjoys your company,

as much as you enjoy his.

Even when the both of you are not together,

on his own (without you always having to do so first),

he will reach out to you.

If you have to be the one to always initate contact, that shows that your guy of choice

doesn't have much interest in you to begin with.

No one is ever too busy to briefly wish someone well or to check in.

If he's using that excuse don't buy it!

A relationship in development should take two people giving it their all.

There should be a healthy balance on both ends.

Both people should be trying to reach out to eachother.

All of the efforts to keep contact should not be held on one person.

You do not want someone that only acts like you matter when it's on his time.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

4. Don't get wasted with this person

This most definitely can apply to people that are newly dating each other.

We all know that mood altering substances (such as alcohol or drugs) can impair decision making.

Since, you know that beforehand

if you intend to use any of those substances with your guy of choice,

limit yourself.

Do not go overboard.

If you don't know what 4 drinks will do to you.

Now is not the time to experiment.

If you've never had a drug before...

Now is not the time to start.

You don't want to get to a point where you no longer have control and regret

doing something

you wouldn't have done otherwise (if you were sober.)

If you do choose to drink,

do so in moderation.

Drink a little and then let some time pass by,

see how that alcoholic beverage effects you before continuing.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

5. Do not become a human ATM machine

A. Bailing him out of financial problems.

Sure, it's great to help your partner out in times of need.

But if he is consistently coming to you all of the time with his financial problems,

then you have to question your relationship.

Someone that truly loves you isn't going to want to keep taking, taking, taking from you.

They're going to want to build a life with you.

They're going to want to save and invest, so you both can build a better future together

If the guy of your choice is always coming to you with money problems

and you're always having to bail him out,

then this isn't a good sign.

Like I said previously,

a healthy relationship consists of balance on both ends.

You both should be helping each other out and gaining from the other person.

You should not be standing in a corner by yourself having to lift heavy weights.

If you keep giving and giving to this guy,

to no one's surprise will you find yourself

in the same situation that he desperately "needed your help to get out of"

Is that really what you want?

To give, give, give and have nothing left?

A real man can stand on his own two feet.

B. Always the one to pay

If you're the one who literally has to pay for everything, all of the time in your relationship,

then chances are he is using you.

Your guy might not necessarily have a financial problem, but he doesn't seem

to ever offer to do anything nice for you.

He's enjoying living off of everything you have provided him with.

Often times, it seems as if he takes the kind things you have done for granted.

6. He wants what he wants

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

Take the "H" out of the word "He" and replace that with a W.

A relationship should always revolve around the word "We".

"It should be about what we want, the both of us."

You find that talking to your guy of choice is like talking to a brick wall.

You constantly voice your wants and needs,

but every single time he falls short of them.

Lets look at the practicality,

Your needs aren't out of reach,

they are very attainable.

He just chooses not to recognize its importance.

He only feels passionate about needs and wants pertaining to himself.

Your guy of choice's cup is full while yours is empty.

His actions does not show any indication that you matter to him.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

Again

Ladies,

Don't allow yourself to be used!

Look at all of the signs that are there and don't ignore them.

I know that when you emotionally involve yourself these things that remain so blatant to an

outsiders eyes seem dim, but please don't allow yourself to be blinded!

On the flip side,

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!

Men,

I know you can be used as well.

We can't control what happens to us in this life, but what we can do is

recognize a problem, and solve it before it becomes bigger than yourself.

Take action!

Don't silence yourself!

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Ladies, Don't Allow Men To Use You!
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    The way it is written leaves no room for independence. Nor does it seem to respect a man's sexual needs at all, as you bump them down to your own personal views of what you think sex should be. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but this take seems like something a clingy overly controlling girlfriend would believe.

    I won't go into as much detail, but I will quickly put down my views so you can understand the problems I have with it.

    1. sex won't make him stay, but a lack of sex might make him leave.
    Despite what you might have heard, there are a lot of men that do bond from sex. A lot of men often won't even feel loved if their woman isn't having sex with him. Nor is it shallow or wrong to want a sexual relationship or to leave a relationship were we aren't getting that.

    2. Your views about sexuality are your own, and men commonly won't feel the same way about sex. For most guys a relationship without sex, is just a friendship and nothing more. It isn't that one gender is right or wrong, we just tend to feel differently about this. Our views about sexuality are our own, and neither gender shouldn't be judged for them. You say "A man that respects you, will accept your choice (not to give it up)." That may be true, but a man that respects you enough to accept that might move on to a more compatible woman, that meets his sexual needs. If that happens then she should also respect the man, and accept they weren't compatible.

    3. I agree it shouldn't be a one way street, and both people need to communicate and make an effort to connect.

    4. They shouldn't be getting wasted with anyone, especially if they know they can't control themselves. Not sure why you wrote this one at all, unless this is related to the woman possibly having sex before she is ready.

    5. I agree you shouldn't have to bail them out all the time.

    6. There needs to be a balance between he, she, and we. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but this reads like you don't support letting him control his life at all.

    I did read every single word by the way.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Stacyzee

      "Some" men use women. So why can't we look at that reality? Not "all" men are like this as stated in my take. I wrote this because I've observed plenty women on this site stating they were used so I decided to write a take for them. Rarely , have I seen men complaining about that issue.
      With that being said I take into account that men go through this as well by acknowledging and mentioning them in this take.

      Now I will further discuss my points...

    • Stacyzee

      Number one - You say "lack of sex may make him leave".
      Remember - as stated in this article we are speaking about a man whose intentions from the beginning Is to stray.
      Lack of sex may make him leave.
      But so will providing it.
      That is the point I am trying to make.
      Whether a woman gives into sex or not if his intent is to cheat he will cheat.

      Number two -Yeah my views are my own but they are shared by many others. As a woman that's been peer pressure into sex by numerous dirt bags (in my teens and early twenties)---out there I can say this is more than just a view and true according to my reality. Men on the other hand rarely if not ever go through that. So of course u will argue other wise and not understand.
      If a man makes an entire relationship solely about sex... yes , he is using the woman.
      As I stayed before this article is about a man who wants to stray. If he cannot respect his womans "no" and tries to make every situation about sex, his intent is clear.
      Continuing...

    • Stacyzee

      Number 4 -I wrote this because like I said , this is a take about a woman putting herself in a vulnerable emotional situation and not seeing all of the signs that are there. This emotional situation can clearly become physical if she let's her guard down and does things she will later on regret.

      Number 6 - As stayed in my entire article this is a take written by a woman to women. (Which also acknowledges the fact towards the end men may go through using although situations may verify because they can be gender specific). I said numerous times in this article , a healthy relationship needs balance. In this line I included men by saying "we" which means he, and she.
      Not sure why it needs further breaking down. It's clear to see I am mentioning both men and women by saying a relationship needs to be about both people and include balance.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ozanne
    Yep, I agree. Too many doormats out there willing to do anything just to hold on to something that really isn't worth it in the end. Somehow people have it in their minds that relationships are so hard to find that they're willing to hang on to whatever comes along and do anything for that person just to come across as a great partner. All it does is send the message to them that you're a doormat and you're okay with it.

    We aren't having a people shortage on this planet in order to find people, and with so many people opting out of marriage or even waiting until their 30s and 40s, there certainly are a lot of singles to choose from in someone's 20s and 30s. So what's the problem? I think a lot of it is that we've become this Me-Me-Me society where we think we want perfection, and all it's doing is pushing real people away. Each of us are being way to selective toward the other gender, hurting them in the process reminding them that maybe they're not good enough.

    Once you're good enough for just you, the rest falls in to place. You have to know what your limits are but that doesn't mean settling for less either. Using personal weapons with sex, money, guilt, pregnancies, you name it -- if one feels that they have to resort to any of that to snag a mate, then they are setting themselves up for a lot of hurt down the road.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

2548
  • Hexxus
    A lot of what I see here can be harmful to women who follow it.

    “You feel that your boyfriend is straying because you haven't had sex with him yet”

    Sex is a very important thing to me. If someone is not willing to fulling my needs, I will find someone who is.

    “A man that truly loves you doesn't have to be bribed or convinced into sticking around.”

    It’s not about bribery. It’s about finding someone I am compatible with. If a women views sex as a big deal or as a prize that she gives out if she feels I have earned it then I am in no way interested in her. This saying could be turned around by saying if you really love someone you want to share yourself with them fully.

    “There are many women that give it up to their men on a regular basis”
    Giving up? As if they are losing something? As if women do not enjoy sex? As if some women don’t want one night stands?

    “A man that respects you, will accept your choice (not to give it up)”

    I will respect her choice but she needs to respect my choice to go find someone who is looking for the same thing as I am.

    “He only feels passionate about needs and wants pertaining to himself. “

    I fail to see a problem with this. I will not change myself for someone else. Rather I will express my and my needs freely. I expect women to do the same. It’s a filtration process to find who you are naturally compatible with.
    • Stacyzee

      You are aware that advice isn't just black and white? There is grey area.
      There is no way my advice can hold in application to all of the millions of people in this world , but generally speaking there are many whose intent are to lie, cheat and deceive.
      Usually , these people spend a fair amount of their times trying to get something they feel entitled for.
      We cannot act oblivious and pretend there isn't a large amount of people who go around doing no good.
      If all of these scumbags were imagined , rapists wouldn't exist. Those who run away from child support wouldn't either. Those who get numerous women pregnant at the same time wouldn't. Those who intentionally spread stds wouldn't etc.

    • Hexxus

      If you would have mentioned lying then I would have agreed with your advice. For example and at the risk of repeating myself you said

      "Do not think that giving your body to him, will make him feel any differently than he did before."

      If girl who I would otherwise enjoy being around and had a lot in common with did not want to have sex early on then it would in fact make me feel different. I would walk away. I want someone who is sexually open and adventures and if she holds out she does not match what I am looking for.

      You did not specify manipulation in that part of your post.

    • Stacyzee

      That line and everything from this entire post is in application to a man whose intent is to use.
      I made a clear picture of a man who only cares about pursuing sex from this woman. She thinks that sex will make him stay.

      I also stated that sex can allow a man to stay and draw a woman/man closer only if they are on the same mental/emotional page.

      This man clearly only wants a physical relationship with the woman. While the woman wants both an emotional/physical relationship. Since they do not see eye to eye, I state since this man's intent is solely to seek sex do not think that putting out will allow him to stay. He never wanted more from her in the first place.

      If she did put out he would take as much as he could physically from her until ready to move on

    • Show All
  • pnl86
    I wholeheartedly agree.

    I don't think this has anything at all to do with "casual" relationships. "Pure hook ups" and "long term relationships" are two completely separate things. The author is clearly viewing male-female relationships from the lens of a "long term relationship" in mind.

    The most important reason why #1 is true is because "sex" is not just a three letter word. Some guys and girls think that "the physical act" of sex qualifies as "sex" in terms of men "getting/receiving sex" while "in a relationship."

    There's "sex a girl gives a guy" ("Maintenance Sex") and "sex a girl wants to have" ("Sex for Herself").

    A girl can "pretend" that "she wants to have" Maintenance Sex. But that's what will end up destroying the relationship. Before both people know, Sex for Herself has been completely replaced by Maintenance Sex.

    This has two serious consequences for the relationship:

    1. She's no longer having Sex for Herself. So, the sex she's having is no longer enjoyable "for her." So, "sex" for her is less about pleasure, and more about "bonding, and feeling connected, and feeling like he won't leave me, and feeling safe and like our relationship is secure, etc." In other words, sex has become a chore. And ever since we were all children, what do we know about chores? We grudgingly do them, and want to avoid them, until we can get away without doing them anymore.

    2. Maintenance Sex becomes a currency and bargaining chip. Rather than "flat out" tell a guy, "You either do this for me, or else you're not having sex," women are a bit more subtle and indirect. Instead, men will likely hear, "Look, unless I 'FEEL' close, and wanted, and respected, etc., then I'm just not in 'THE MOOD' to have sex. And in case you're wondering what 'MAKES ME FEEL' that way, well, it's easy - I 'FEEL' that way when 'YOU DO WHAT I WANT.'" (how convenient).

    As a result, a relationship plagued with Maintenance Sex ends up making the guy feel like "he's working for it" each time he has sex. In other words, he goes on each day never "feeling like his partner genuinely just wants to have sex with him, because she WANTS HIM and finds him SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE."

    That opens up the door and stage for "temptation" and another woman from the outside to easily swoop in and allow the man to fill that empty void - giving him the feeling of "BEING WANTED BY A WOMAN" for no other reason than simply "BEING SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE AS A MAN."
    • Stacyzee

      Finally! Someone who gets it!

      All the others seem to be turning this into a sexist war battle.
      And making huge generalizations that I never mentioned in my article.

    • That is because they either have used women in the past or want to, or are doing it right now. Teaching the truth pisses off people who do evil.

  • Roostah
    The asker to me sounds like typical western woman whose dated a series of assholes who pump and dumped her, throughout her 20's and is now approaching 30 and her biological clock is ticking. She needs to rationalize to herself (main purposeo fthis article) and other woman why dating assholes is a dead end and why you should consider "nice guy" who treated you with respect, and genuinely care for a relationship/love with you a chance now.

    I'm not saying this is you. Just hat it comes off like that.
    • Stacyzee

      You couldn't be more wrong. I am a woman who has been in a relationship for nine years. I have observed this site and decided to make a "take" for t he numerous amount of women that find themselves in this predicament.
      You don't actually have to go through something to be knowledgeable about it.
      I could write a take about "How to deal with a certain illness". That doesn't mean that I have ever had that illness, you are doing some farfetched thinking , and pretty bad at playing psychic.

    • Roostah

      Well seeing you had a strong inclination to downvote me and then justify you are like this even though i stated that "this is not necessarily you" indicates to me that my comment did strike a nerve with you. Also since you brought up never experiencing "going through this" I find your take has lost credibility as those who have experience something have better perception than an outside observer. So in this regard I'm just saying your Mytake has lost some credibility.

    • Stacyzee

      I am allowed to disagree with an answer on my own trend. Last time I checked , that's what they were for. Simply clicking thumbs up or down , indicated that I disagree with your answer, which I do. You made a poor attempt to summarize me and were way off.
      Do not credit yourself so greatly.
      The last thing you or anyone has the power to do on this site, is strike a nerve with me. As stated before, I am using the sites features what they were intended for.

      Also,
      I've been through a few of the situations but have not entirely allowed myself to be beaten down to a bulp. So, we can say no I have not been used.
      As a man that seems to also be rapidly approaching 30, you should know that there are plenty who go through experiences that cannot help others learn through their own mistakes. It takes a wise soul to learn and help others move forward in that direction. So if you're looking for those who have been beaten down to a bulp, that doesn't necessarily mean they can advise
      ...

    • Show All
  • godfatherfan
    All valid points.
    Although I would say that it pertains to women WAY more then men. So do a flip flop and repost.
    • Stacyzee

      You're the first person here to have said that.
      I feel like the scenarios I gave is better suited for women (although some of them, can apply to men).
      I may do another directed towards men (with scenarios better suited for them).

    • Stacyzee

      I also, responded to several users here why I directed this more towards women. Given my observations on GAG I have noticed for questions FROM them about this issue. But yes, men can be acknowledged as well.
      Look out for a take in the future for men about this. <3

    • Stacyzee

      *more question from them on this issue.

    • Show All
  • krash2002
    You make a lot of great points. All of which I completely agree with. Often times, women allow themselves to be taken in by the "bad boy", and treated poorly. The same thing applies to both sexes. As when we are in a weak state, or just plan old insecure. We take grasp of those around us who take advantage, and in trade we take their attention.

    It's a shame that the ratios aren't balanced though. As I've seen way more bad boys than bad girls. Even more so, I meet a lot of damaged women as well. I'm finally in a great relationship myself, and plan on getting married, but during my years of going out on the town, and mingling with others via social groups.

    The lot of women who have been hurt by previous relationships don't allow themselves to move on without caring forth the mental anguish they received from prior experiences. My relationship with my fiance even had signs of this. With her having dated guys who just used her in the past. We ran into certain scenarios where she became extremely insecure. Though overall she was a very independent woman who was willing to join as one. She still shows signs in specific areas of her life that cause a storm of insecurity to erupt. Sadly, this just takes time, and one to realize that good men/women exist, and will not treat you in such a way.
  • KempisMC
    If there is one lesson that I wish all women knew as well as 1+1=2

    Is that SEX will never and I mean never make him stay , Never , it might make him come back , but never stay. I'm not saying don't have sex, I'm saying , just sex won't make him stay , so its not an indicator that he loves you.
    • Jager66

      A lack of sex can make him leave though.

    • KempisMC

      except for cases or abuse or extreme indoctrination in the belief that sex is wrong
      a man who wants to leave a relationship because of lack of sex , can and should take 100% of the blame, read my section on making love to the heart of a women and you tell me if you'll be able to keep up with her sex drive. He needs to do his part and the result will blow his mind , they will be a new family or couple.

  • GreatnessPersonified
    My take: People will take advantage if you let them, including men and women.
    • Stacyzee

      EXACTLY what I stated (if you read towards the end).

  • Polswedgirl
    "Someone that cannot enjoy your company without it being sex of all of the time,

    doesn't truly care for you as a individual.

    Someone that values you will place a high amount in your mind, instead

    of always focusing on your body."

    Especially this really hit me. Great take.
  • nalaa
    "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
    If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay" - That's such a weird thing to say because it begs the question what makes him want you in the first place? And are you sure sex isn't part of it?
    • Stacyzee

      That's a quote I picked up from Oprah Winfrey . Here is my personal break down of it.
      "If a man wants you , nothing can keep him away ".
      He loves you. He will go the distance for you. He is fully invested in you. He will not let obstacles get in the way of being with you.

      "If he doesn't want you , nothing can make him stay ". You can beg , plead with a guy. But if he isn't fully invested in you there is nothing you can do that will change the outcome.

  • thetundrawolf
    Wow, good take! Especially the first one. What's the best way to find out if a guy only wants you for sex, and doesn't truly love you? Easy!! Do not have sex with him! If he leaves you have your answer. If he stays, and gets to know you, and learns if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then be really does live you and is willing to put in the time, effort, and self sacrifice to spend the rest of his life with you, hopefully under the umbrella of marriage.

    Ladies, please! Do not become broken hearted single moms. Listen to your gut instinct above your heart every single time.
    • Stacyzee

      Thanks for commenting and seeing the message (that some allowed their ignorance to blind them from seeing) <3

    • Good point about sex NOT keeping the guy around, either. It is good not to be pressured by ANY guy into having sex, it won't help you long term anyway! Not if he doesn't truly love you, ladies. Please, see your self worth, it is so much it is beyond calculating. A good woman is worth more than all the treasures in the world.

  • Creole_Flavor
    Great Take! We can't control what a person does only how we react and choose to deal with.
  • Bonnie12I27I12
    there are 2 types of guys that hit on me and they're both annoying especially since i dont want a relationship right now. the first type starts to get sexual right away. asking about my breasts, sexual history and all that. the second type just seems like clingy creeps. calling a girl beautiful 50 times in 1 hour is really annoying. i dont know what these guys are thinking but trying to convince me that they'll buy me expensive things isn't going to work. beware ladies!
  • Azara
    well basically only have sex if you want to not bc you think it will make something happen. This goes for women and men. Men rush sex slot of the time just to prove the woman wants him.

    People just have sex when you're ready and if the other person can't wait or isn't ready you'll have to discuss it like huma beings instead of jumping to conclusions a bout the symbolic significance of him or her wanting or not wanting see at the perfect time. Just communicate.
  • LittleMissy93
    I pay a lot of the time... I think he may be manipulating me into it. He never asks me to he just always talks about his money problems. Now that I've done it so many times I feel bad for only paying for myself or for expecting him to pay; it seems like I'm accusing him of using me and it's an awkward topic to get into. The truth is, I don't have any money. I'm paying for his dinner with my bank loan.
  • bloodmountain1990
    Sometimes users can be hard to spot, unfortunately. Great take though. I feel it applies to both genders.
    • Stacyzee

      Yes, users can be hard to spot.
      But one thing that is clear to see is that a person's actions do not lie.
      Someone that cares for you acts a certain way.
      I think the fact of the matter is.
      That some people get themselves so emotionally wrapped up that it is hard to WANT to spot these things.
      They remain in-denial to this situation.
      In my take, that is why I said "do not allowed yourself to be blinded".
      And yes, this take can apply to both genders which is why I mentioned men towards the end.
      But as a female ---who is heterosexual (I have observed on this site) mostly women stating that they were used or taken advantage of.
      So I decided to make a take for them.
      But pretty much any one can benefit from this as previously stated.

  • BigbuttLvr
    Shouldn't this just be called: People, don't let other people use you? Literally none of these are woman problems.
    • Stacyzee

      I notice that men tend to use women for sex , women tend to use men for money. I am currently creating a male version about this which will be different in approach. We cannot ignore the fact that some situations are gender specific.

      Also, based on my observation with this site it has been most blatant to see that women tend to ask questions pertaining to being used (rarely have I seen men cry about this issue). I wanted to help those girls. This is my reasons for acknowledging mostly that gender in this take.

      I still acknowledged that men go through this. I know advice is universal.

  • It looks like you're getting used by the men on this site. Falling prey to all the trolls and showing people how easily you can get riled up.
    The best way to deal with a troll is to ignore them because they get bored easy.
    • Stacyzee

      Down rated by accident.

      You are right.

      But I'm not getting riled up. As much as people have every right to attempt to bash me, I have the right to defend myself and my article.

  • Cryostatic
    "Men will only treat you the way that you allow them to."

    Wow.
    • Stacyzee

      Out of an entire article let's just focus on one line

    • Cryostatic

      Hey, you chose that opener, and it sets the tone for an article that would be otherwise agreeable.

      Don't blame me for your mistake.

    • Stacyzee

      90 percent of men here are ignorant and are trolls. That is all you can proving here.
      You're making yourself look bad because u pretty much sum up the men I describe
      Don't blame me for that either

    • Show All
  • truthistruth1
    true, this is so helpful for men not to get cheated by girls from using us mainly our money because some girls say the real man stands on his legs and pay for ne everytine becase i aem a girl so i want special treat and agian says i am independentet. how?
    h
    • Stacyzee

      Sorry, I only speak English.

    • jormungand

      Well, excuse him for not being a perfect native speaker

    • Rude, not everyone needs to know how to speak English

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  • Scrambledagain
    Yeah... using someone is douche. Douche attracts girls, ergo I would lean towards the "using" rather than the not. Another reason why sex won't keep somebody by you, is simply because the notion of loving just one person is false. You can love more than one person and obviously be attracted to another.
    • Despite the statistics showing that polyamourus relationships have a higher rate of failure then monogomous? You can be attracted to more then one person but most polyamourus relationships fall apart due to either jealousy or the inability to balance mulitple relationships resluting in a slide back to monogoumus relationships.

    • Can you show me these statistics? The last I read, there was no difference in the failure rate between married or poly relationships.

  • RightNow
    After reading this, I know I am not ready (never was) to have a serious relationship.
    • Stacyzee

      Why do you not think you are ready?

    • RightNow

      I was in a very stressful relationship. I caused most of the problems. I just don't want to go through something like that, again.

    • Stacyzee

      You can grow in time.
      At least u realize that

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  • Tempbro
    I am extremely glade I saw some because otherwise I would have felt very offended.
    • Tempbro

      I have a habit of not reading what I type because I sorta just press enter on instinct sorry for the poor grammar , but what I was trying to say was that I am glad that you included the word, "Some" when talking about men. I agree with most if not all of your points you have made. In this article and I am quite happy on the fact that you acknowledged that there are men who are good people. I think men are much more likely to be swayed over to being assholes and idiots.

    • Stacyzee

      Thanks for your comment!

      You strike me as a mature fella, surprisingly u are only 16.
      These grown men 18 plus who are trolling or harboring hate can learn a lot from you <3

  • TheEroticJester
    Great post. Its ridiculous how you meet so many more broken women in liberated amd modernized western countries than so called "women hating" countries.

    reason being that the west has made a habit of pedestalizing the most pathetic and wretched people in human existence. The worse they are the more publicity they get. they prefer the 'bad boy'.
  • DessieDoo
    Overall a good take. However, I do believe that this goes both ways. Men are used just as much as women are. Its just not talked about on the simple fact that women, as shitty as it is, get away with a lot more than men. It is looked at as "okay" for a woman to play a man because it has happened to her before. It is looked at as "okay" for a sober woman to sleep with a drunk man but not for a sober man to sleep with a drunk woman because she "can't say no". Men get the shit end of the stick on so many different occasions. But anyways, overall a very good take. Maybe you should now write one about the opposite sex.
    • Stacyzee

      Yes, I agree which is why I mentioned men in here too. I know this CAN happen to any gender. I attempted to reach out to women (more so) in this take due to my observations of questions on this site. I observed mostly women stating they were used and having various different questions on what to do in their situations. I figured this take would be beneficial for them. But in all reality , as stated above in my take it can be acknowledged that men can go through the same.
      I did debate whether I should make another take about this geared towards men.
      I may do so in the future.
      Thanks for commenting!

    • DessieDoo

      You should absolutely do one in the future. You have a good variety of scenarios which is most definitely useful and beneficial to those who seek help and guidance.

  • tenchu11
    I've never pressured a girl into sex and I've gotten nothing buy a good rep. To the point they date scum bags and want me back and I'm not going back to them. Their female friends can't love trying to meet up with me after we are over.
  • sp33d
    Works both ways, I am not gonna weep for every idiot out there that gets exploited, man or woman, that's all just fair game and if they can learn from it, that is invaluable first hand life experience, if not, well that's too bad.
    I like the last quote, it has merit.
  • tayoker
    Oh sorry gur.. u dnt know how easy to convince a gur to show magic. .. it's only about words... actions times is over... girls got needs as we do.. we only remind em about it...
    Do u think it's easy to say no? oh no!
    • Stacyzee

      Nothing is easy in life.

      But this take goes beyond just a simple "no" it's about recognizing when people are out to use u and taking control of that situation.

  • lonelywarrior40
    Everyday I am losing my feelings about sex :)
    Maybe due to my beliefs, who can know...
    The only thing i know that humankind has to keep him/herself till marriage;the other way will bring problems eventually; i respect all and this is my opinion ^_^
  • James19
    Nice take, similar to - men dont let women use you.
    Great take you made it so friendly free from misandry and misogyny.
    • Stacyzee

      Thank you :).

      Yes , similar in nature because I wrote both.

  • OrdinaryGentleman
    @Stacyzee This should have been more for everyone and not just ladies.. nice take:]
    • Stacyzee

      Based on my observation with gag, I have noticed mostly women asking questions pertaining to being used. That is who I wanted to go with.
      I still acknowledged that men go through the same thing.

      However , we cannot ignore that there is no such thing as gender specific scenarios.
      I feel that some of these aren't lines aren't in applicant to men (pretty much only the human atm).
      I may make a version of this to cater to men more.

    • jormungand

      @Stacyzee I Agree with most of this Mytake to a certain degree. But what you just said about mostly women being abused isn't really true. I've seen a lot of Mytakes and question about men/boys being concerned of how there girlfriend treats them. And mostly about financial abuse. But maybe that is just me. Anyway, have a nice day.

    • @Stacyzee Men go through the same thing but they are less vocal about it because of societies expectations

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  • KidanisCortes
    Well women use men too but I agree what you said in most parts
    • Stacyzee

      "Women use men too" as already stated in this take.

    • I know you did I was just recaping I have a bad habit of doing that

    • Stacyzee

      It's okay.
      I'm just making sure because there's a lot of people they say I didn't... and that's just because they only skimmed through and missed that part.

      Thanks for commenting!

  • YourFutureEx
    I believe 90% women don't know these things. Perfect! Very spot on. World would be a better place if women'd tackle these basic problems.
  • Rocky96
    Superb, so beautifully written. I appreciate your work.
    Very good pictures, reality in the words. So nice.
    And a good message for women. specially teenagers. :)
  • PT1911
    Applicable to both genders, great take.
    • Stacyzee

      Thank you for actually reading <3

    • PT1911

      I can tell you were in the moment with it, but its advice is applicable to me when it comes to women as well :)

    • Stacyzee

      It sure is, which is why I didn't fail to leave out men (as stated in my take).

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  • BackInGame
    The correct title is: Ladies, Don't Allow Hot Guys To Use You!
    • Stacyzee

      Um, no definitely not what I was going for.

      People can be used by any body of any physical appearance.

    • BackInGame

      it's only hot guy who are on position that CAN use girls. Average joes can't use girls, even if they would want to. All crying, drama, moaning and complying about 'being used' refers to (very) attractive guys and that's by definition less that 10% of population.

    • Stacyzee

      The word "hot" is objective.
      If you're speaking about physical attraction, its normal for people to get together and have some type of desire for one another. If you're talking about supermodels or playgirl looking men walking around , then I have to disagree with you. Your percentage seems made up by yourself.
      An average guy has the ability to do this.
      I know someone who is unattractive who has a lot of women in his life, just because he knows how to speak to women. Whether someone gets used or not, goes beyond how physically attractive they appear (although they may help in some cases).

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  • Aeon_Flux_21
    Damn Stacy, all ya had to say is "give him sex, food and be fun will win him over." Men really don't want much from women lol.
  • VampireEmpress
    I <3 how you wrote this. all of the detailing you did looks awesome. I think the guys who don't like this mytake are just jealous because they're not the ones getting sex... I noticed that they're not really saying that it was wrong for the men to use women, they juts want a mytake focused on their own issues.

    I think it's ironic that they can't see they're acting just like the guys you're writing about! they want what they want to be front and center only... so how are they that different from the using/bad guys?
  • d20samurai
    I love this post because it illustrates the fragility of love in a relationship, and how a good thing can easily be poisoned by selfishness or fear. The advice you give demonstrates an expertise in balancing responsibility of self and critical comprehension of the partner. Too often are folks taken advantage of because they see only their partners greatness, and not their weaknesses. Understanding these aspects can turn a good relationship even better, or ease the burden of ending a bad one, by allowing both people to operate in sync with the other.

    This take also pertains to any kind of relationship; generally, this is a good way to treat people you care about.

    Kudos.
  • 9mfeo
    Or, you can do what I do and become an atheist nun. No more problems.
  • Bards
    Great take, totally perfect 🏆
    • Bards

      Sorry you have to keep repeating yourself and have stupid people troll xD they can't help it

    • Stacyzee

      Lol :)

  • Hunter13
    I was dealing with a guy for three years. I really liked him and I really thought he liked me so whenever he or his family (since they all live together) needed help financially I would. Once I decided to not give him money all of that changed. He told me didn't want me or need me for anything and he stopped talking to me. Then weeks later he calls me just to brag about a new girlfriend he has just to piss me off. He said a whole bunch of mean things too about how ugly I am and how I will never find love and how much better her sex was and it goes on and on. I played it cool but I'm really hurt. He's so happy w this new girl and I haven't even found anyone new, but at the same time there's a big part of me that wants nothing to do w men anymore seems to me all they want is one thing and if you have money then two things.
  • QuestionMan
    What's wrong with casual sex?
    • Stacyzee

      Nothing if both people are on the same page in their wants and needs.
      If one is misleading and wants to use the other person, that's where it is wrong.

    • What I've noticed in some of the questions on GAG is the girls are asking if the guy wants them for more than sex when it's obvious he doesn't. For some reason a lot of girls are not ok with that.

    • I don't know, because it leaves a woman pregnant? With an std? You have not put in the effort to truly care for her, so when you leave her a single mom you will be saying what's wrong with it, while she struggles to raise the child alone. That's what's wrong with it. It's a waste. True love must be earned and it is difficult to do. Casual sex only ends up with broken people who are ruined inside.

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  • starhosseini1510
    Well this isn't biased.
  • mithramitzmittu
    Great take... Points well elaborated.
  • Curlygirl123
    Love this !! Really needed this
  • Random_chick_2384
    Great take! 😋
  • COCOCHANEL
    yes yes and YES
  • zombiebabe
    great take
  • Yasmine_yasmine
    Great Take. Love this
  • Marissa0015
    I agree we shouldn't let men control us
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