"What if I move in with you?"
My girlfriend posed an interesting question. My roommate was moving out, deciding to move in with his boyfriend across town, and I was stuck in a 1,300 square foot apartment alone. The rent wasn't the issue really. I could afford it by myself but I would be pushing it, and I didn't like having little to no breathing room in my finances. At twenty-six , nearly all my friends were already married or in a committed live-in relationship. I had a few who I could bring in as a room mate but honestly I knew I wouldn't want to live with them.
But my girlfriend?
Make no mistake our relationship is great. We have similar likes, similar hobbies and backgrounds. We "click" as people are want to say. By far the prettiest girl I've ever dated, the sex is also the best of my life after a slow start--but a quick learner she increased her skill level fast. She's the best relationship I've ever had.
But I was extremely hesitant to have her move in with me.
I was concerned for many reasons actually. The most important one wasn't even my issue. Her parents , strict Catholic, still believed her to be a virgin, and moving in with me would not only shatter that illusion it could potentially destroy their relationship entirely. I understood the responsibility was hers to confront her parents and I essentially played no part in it, but selfishly I saw no way in how I did not come across as the villain.
I enjoyed a good if not fantastic relationship with her parents, particularly her father. We golfed together, shared investment advice, bonded over beers while watching sports as the "women folk" ran off to do "women things" - his words not mine. But when he comes to realize I've deflowered his twenty-one year old daughter and have been banging her regularly for nearly a year? I couldn't foresee a way that that relationship could stay intact.
I was also pretty happy with the way things were. Everything was compartmentalized, everything had a place. I liked my life, and how she fit into it. Moving in interrupted my dynamic. I know we click, I know we fit together like a glove, but that wasn't what I was looking for right now.
Lastly I was concerned about sex. As I mentioned our sex life was amazing. I was concerned we'd actually have less sex moving in together than more, because we'd fall into a mundane routine of same ole same ole. By not seeing each other everyday there was excitement of being together again, but when we live under the same roof there was no hello/goodbye, there was always just us together.
She sensed my hesitation and we talked. And talked. And talked some more. I talked but really didn't say anything honestly. Finally she asked the all important question.
"Do you love me?"
I've told her I love her in the past but this was loaded. Say yes and there's no turning back, no reason not to have her move in, to be in your life all the time. No reason not to fully commit to her which lets be truthful that what I'm trying to avoid. Say no and really what's the point of even having the relationship.
I said yes without hesitation. And meant it.
Congratulations, your girlfriend is moving in!
First step was telling her parents. She wanted me there for moral support, then changed her mind at the last minute. It was something she needed to do alone she said, like something someone would say in Star Trek right before they're killed. I told her to call me when it was over. She went to their house at 5 and didn't call me to 3AM. That's a helluva lot of talking!
They insisted on talking to me. That night at dinner. I already had plans but it was in my best interest to break them.
Dinner was tense but I spoke to the father alone. He seemed hurt but surprisingly gave me his blessing. To my dismay our relationship was effected at first, but over time it has healed to be what it once was.
With that behind us, it was time to bring her home , to our home. Moving in her belongings was a task but the larger issue was where to put everything. She had made mental preparation for where things would be placed and we consulted, only to realize once they were there they didn't look like we envisioned. The moving in took weeks but finally it became a cozy home. She started leaving her little touches here and there - air fresheners, candles, things guys don't think of but love having around - and quickly I enjoyed my apartment a lot more than I used to. It didn't seem so , well sloppy anymore.
Meals were problematic. She can't cook, but I can. Cooking for two, logically just double the recipe. But she doesn't eat as much as I do so that meant leftovers, which neither of us consume, so food became wasted. It took a long time to learn how to balance out cooking just right for the two of us.
We also had different bed times. I like to hit bed early, 10 or 11 on weeknights and midnight on weekends, then get up early to work out. She, however, will stay up routinely til 2AM, falling asleep on the couch. She voluntarily changed on this one, claiming it was ok to stay up differently from me time to time but every night defeated the purpose of living with me. She began going to bed with me and now sleeps when I do by and large, even working out when I do in the morning. I never asked her to change, she came to this on her own, by I enjoy it regardless.
And despite my fear of sex life diminishing, it has actually increased in frequency and quality. Being in such close proximity to the person you are so attached to has out both of us on high alert and our bodies are constantly wanting more of each other. I have no idea how long that will last but we enjoy it while we can.
After four months things are going well. We are in a good rhythm and life is flowing great. Having her with me, I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Really enjoyed this! Would have loved to hear more about the relationship with her father, and also how sex life grew after living together. I know in my life it actually was the opposite.
I thought diving too deeply into my relationship with her father would bore others so I tried to just highlight what I thought appropriate. And although I find our sex life out of this world I didn't think others wanted to hear intimate details of it hahaha
Your on g@g we always want to talk about sex lol
awwwww this is such a cute mytake!!! i really hope the best for you two ^^! thanks for sharing
Nice relationship :) you guys are doing so well together
Thank you, we are doing great, much better than I anticipated and hoping it continues !