Is Cute Really The Worst Thing You Can Call a Man?

[BeeNee]

As my friend Ryan once told me, "cute is the worst thing a woman can call a man, if that man is attracted to her. It is the death nail in the coffin known as the friend zone, and something a girl only says to a guy if he reminds her of her younger brother or she's trying not to hurt his feelings; not cool."

"Well, damn Ryan," I'd said, "is it that bad?" Ryan then looked at me and asked me to think back to all the guys I said were merely cute to their faces and to tell him it wasn't true.

Silence.

"But wait," I'd countered back, "we girls describe guys as cute all the time to our friends. Was he cute? Yeah, he was really cute, and it's got nothing to do with wanting to be friends."

Ryan did not look convinced.

"Yes, you describe a guy as cute to other girls because they can decipher your 14 levels of girl code to know that that means it's a guy you might want to bang, but to an actual flesh and blood guy, you're basically telling him to hold your purse while you shop."

Well, my friend kind of had a point, but I don't think cute is the worst thing you can tell a guy if your tone is right. There is, "oh my God, you're so cute, " and then there's, "damn, you're cute." I think if I said the latter to a guy, he could probably pick up that I didn't think he was the equivalent to a baby panda.

Really and truly sometimes a guy is cute. You might not want to go swinging from the chandelier with him day one the way you might with someone you say is sexy, but it's not always friend zone forever. Cute can turn sexy once you get to know that guy. Cute can also mean he's not like your fantasy level hot, but he's not ugly and someone you'd give no chance to..he's just cute. But I guess to a guy that's just as much of an insult as him saying to a girl, "you're just cute." Nobody wants to be "just anything." You want to know that you're hot or really attractive to someone else, period.

I would actually venture to say being cute is only ever a true insult and the absolute worst if you turn it into a cause and effect scenario. "You're cute...for a short guy." "You're cute...for a black guy." "You're cute for someone your age." Or "you're cute...but I don't go out with bald guys." That for or but put in there is basically saying you have no chance or maybe you do if you enjoy being insulted for who you are as a guy or what you look like that's out of your control.

[strangytie]

It may be because cute always refers to feminine or baby-like things, however I have yet to meet a guy who thought that cute was a horrible thing to be called (aside from my boyfriend's stepdad, who is not very secure in masculinity or heterosexuality and won't even drink of out of the "unmanly" bendy straw). A lot of guys in this age group think of it as endearing and flattering.

[Jamie1865]

Cute no, 'Really good friend' or 'Such a nice guy' is normally when you know you need to up periscope and start looking elsewhere.

[BeeNee]

"up periscope," lol

[Sheriblossom]

Depends how you look at it. I wouldn't say it would be the worst thing for a guy to hear. I'm sure many guys have been called rude, annoying names they don't wanna hear again, so compared to that, cute is a compliment! Some people interpret it as a girl who only sees a guy as a friend and doesn't fancy him. However, this is such a huge generalization. I'm pretty shy, and if I worked up the nerve to call my crush cute, that's be hands down the best thing I've ever said to a guy so far. Not everyone is open to saying "Hey, I think you're the most attractive, most hottest, and amazing guy I've ever met!" I think the word cute is taken in the wrong way. It doesn't mean I friend zoning a guy. Think of it like this. If I was friend zoning a guy, I'd be treating him how I'd treat a brother. So calling him cute would be awkward for me. Maybe other girls disagree because yes, they call their brothers "cute", but this is what I think. So it's important to know what context the word cute is being used in and by whom. Hope it helps! :)

[skytatoe]

Awww baby pandas <3

Its fine though. Your friend is just really sensitive. Compliment is a compliment, if the girl isn't attracted to you then there's not much you can do about it and it doesn't obviously reflect anything at all about who you are as a person. Its more about her tastes. So I doubt anyone who isn't highly insecure would take it that hard.

[BeeNee]

Direct quoting you in an email to Ryan right now, lol. But in my friend's defense, it really is in how a girl says it to you. It can almost be the equivalent to saying "you're ugly," but they're not mean enough to say that, so, oh, yeah you're like cute is what comes out.

[Unit1]

With all due respect but i think your friend Ryan sounded like a... Retard.
Being called cute is in fact a compliment and i would like to be called that.
There are way worse ways to insult a man and cute is nowhere near an insult.
I know I'd feel offended if i was called a retard or worse (by women) mr. Moneybags, sugar daddy, provider and other objectifications regarding wealth and resources.

Argh...
I just remember playing killing floor 2 on my computer and sometimes i get to hear the female Trader (in the game) calling me Mr. Moneybags when i have survived a wave of aggressive mutants!!! Argh!! I really hate it when she calls me that.
It makes me want to say "bitch, I'm not a sugar daddy!" 😠😡 🤬👿💥

[JSmuve]

Its not the worst, but certainly not the best.

You'd call your 5 year old nephew cute but never hot because you'd never even think about fucking your 5 year old nephew (right?).

If cute is the word that comes to mind to describe a guy, then you probably only think of him platonically instead of sexually. A guy can do cute stuff but if you don't use words that reflect your sexual feelings for him (e. g. hot, sexy, manly, etc), how is he to differentiate between himself, your gay best friend, or your 5 year old nephew? Because they're all in the same ambiguous category of cute.

[Pink1996]

Cute is a word that depends on the context. It is not negative to call a guy cute. It depends on the situation, how you're saying it, when you're saying it, the tone of voice, the look the in eyes.
Personally, when I call my boyfriend cute I'm calling him good looking/attractive. Or if he says or does something sweet I call him cute.
Generally, when people say the word cute they aren't putting it out there as a negative but more as a compliment

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I think it's fine to use on a guy when it's 100% clear what you mean from the context and the relationship. If he's your boyfriend and you worship his cock on the daily, then calling him "cute" once or twice will go down like honey and cream lol. If it's a guy in your class or workplace, and the other guys are competing for you, and you call 3 of them sexy then call him cute... well... from the context it's pretty clear what's implied there lol

[Sonorous]

For me, it would depend on how and when it was said. If I'm trying to appear very manly and the total opposite of cute, then getting called "cute" would certainly not motivate me as much as another word that takes more thought/has more depth. But I do recognize that some people just say compliments without thinking about the specific definition in relation to the current situation, so I can't hold it against them too much. It is still something nice to say, so long as its well-intended.

[YourFutureEx]

I asked a question regarding this xD
Is being called "cute" from girls an insult for a guy? ↗

I'm with Ryan. I feel EXACTLY the same.

[btbc92]

If an insecure guy has a problem being called 'cute'. Then how would he like it if a woman says' 'all men are dogs'. The truth is, most secular men who doesn't take being called cute well are often guys who want's to be lusted after. If a girl starts talking about how she wonders how big he is down there, I have no doubt he will light up like a light bulb. He has an ego problem.

[HIGHFLIII]

How would one word the words correctly in order to provide a compliment with the intention of further development? If "you're cute" is a nail in the coffin, then how should you, as a neutral gender, be told you look cute (cute meaning better than the average looking man)?

[NatePsychologyMajor]

It's not the worst thing to call a man. But it is kinda the worst compliment most men don't like to hear.

[_erwin_]

To understand what "cute" really means you need to look at the context and the body language of the girl, most of the time it stands for "attractive". But on the other hand... if you ever hear "you are such a nice guy"... you just move on and think of where you went wrong...

[sageevalentinee]

My boyfriend is one of those people who looks really scary, is really scary, but is a big softie. When I first met him, I was super intimidated. So now when he does something sweet, I always tease him and call him cute. He hates it, he gets this pouty face like 'I am NOT cute' it's so funny. ah adorable

[c_hurley16]

Never called a guy cute to his face i think, but i've found guys to be both cute and sexy at the same time! If a guy looks extremely hot yet has a nice sweet personality, i'd say it's the perfect mix of sexy-cute! So i don't see why one has to cancel the other...

[Sonjita]

For me cute means sweet, cuddly, warm, someone I wanna hug and who makes me feel safe, not just someone who is good looking. ♡ My current boyfriend is very very cute and I don't know if he minds when I say it but that's how I feel about it. My dad is always telling me to stop calling men cute. 😂

[lilaqua]

I dunno I've only ever used cute in two situations
a) to describe clothing, food, stuff but rarely people (unless they're like anime in human form) that are for a lack of a better word kawaii
b) about a male i'm sexually attracted to and i'd like to go out with.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Guys, What qualify you to be called as Cute by Girl? ↗

[pickyourcliche]

I've been called way, way worse things. I remember being mad in my teens when someone called me cute, though. I think it's to do with insecure masculinity. "cute" is for animals and babies and women, men are supposed to be rugged and capable and rargh and all that, "cute" doesn't really fit that image.

[JulieXO]

This is really interesting. The word cute can indeed have many different menings. I get that guys take it as more of an insult though, since they usually want to seem all manly and powerful, and being called cute kind of undermines that.

[Unit1]

The guys you describe sound to me like toxic masculinity males.

[BeeNee]

I agree, the words can have different connotations to different people. There's like, cute! Cuuuuuttte! or Oh gawd you're cute. Definitely depends on how you say it and other body language.

[Unit1]

I tend to not overthink this. Call me cute in however way you want and i will appreciate it equally.

It's like the philosophy of where to place the spoon on the table. Should it be on the right? Or maybe left? Or maybe in the bowl with soup? Man i don't care! I'm hungry and i want to eat *now*. Just give me the spoon already or I'll eat my soup without the spoon!

[Boppy]

I also saw girls people calling someone 'cute' to mean only a 6/10 in looks.
Just another meaning to add to the ambiguity.

[ShaHills]

It depends how the word is used and who is using it. If it's your girlfriend or spouse I don't see much of an issue with that. If you've been talking to a girl for a while and you're interested in her and she calls you cute then it's a bit of an odd situation. It's only happened once, but found it a bit off putting and I moved on.