Guy Behaviors That Shouldn't Be Tolerated

[tonicandgin]

We all hear stories from both sides. He's a controlling asshole, and she's a frigid bitch or libtard. I will be posting from the point of view of a female as I am a female, but guys are free to "fire back" with their own takes in response to this one. I will list things that come off in the grey area since things are rarely ever just black and white.

1. Conditioning/Grooming

I had a date show me videos of texts from "nice guys" responding to rejection. He would laugh, and be supportive of the uncalled for texts. Then he would tell me he wasn't like those guys and he's not going to call himself a "nice guy" instead he's a "good guy". His exact words after that self proclamation was; "I'm bad enough to not be boring and make nice, pretty girls naughty" *leans in for a kiss* "but not bad enough to hurt you" *leans in for another kiss* "because, I'm a gentleman." He proceeded to tell me about how he slept with many women, and rarely ever goes on second dates. He even pulled up his Tinder app and started complaining and showed me how there were so many "ugly girls" on there.

He turned out to be one of those "nice guys" lol.

2. Doesn't Take Criticism Well

Same date as point #1, we were in a Tango class and since he was new he was getting crash courses so he could keep up. He's smart so he actually picked up the sequence quickly, but he got a lot of corrections on the harder maneuvers and since I was his partner at the time he leaned in and said "GOD! What an asshole, he's so condescending! What an arrogant prick!" That was another red flag for me. It showed his ego was very fragile.

3. Deliberately Ignored When I Said "NO"

I adamantly refused to invite him to my room since we all know what that socially means. He kept pushing it. I wasn't ready to open up with my past to him since I just met him. He kept pushing it. I didn't want to go out on a date with him because I needed to study for my finals, and guess what? He. Kept. Pushing. It. I don't respond to a text and reject his calls he shows up at the door. He agreed to take me home, he drove me somewhere secluded and coerced me into sex before driving me home. I was to meet his every demand. "Kiss me!", "Smile!", "Use more tongue!". At this point, I plan on avoiding him at all costs.

4. Being a Plain Jackass and Sore Loser

When I decided to full on block him and ignore his incessant visits, I left him out. I got back with my ex because he actually was a decent guy that understood boundaries. The guy lost his shit when he finally figured out I meant what I said about not wanting to see him and sent some nasty wall of texts to me like those "nice guys" in the videos he showed me. Then he blackmailed me by sending a fabricated story on Facebook to my family, and even threatened my boyfriend and I with a shotgun. We had only been on two dates and boy I dodged a bullet!

I don't see how anyone can defend these behaviors and find them acceptable. So, if you are a nice guy reading this, you need to really reevaluate how you conduct yourself to the world. Some people that think the same way you do will see that as it should be, normal people will see a manipulative low life delusional loser.

[Anonymous]

“... he drove me somewhere secluded and coerced me into sex before driving me home...”
That man is a sexual predator. I hope you never give in to him again and if he does or has done anything against your consent that you press charges against him.

[Opinion Owner]

Just adding to your list:
Guy Behaviors That Shouldn’t Be Tolerated
5.) Men who insist their ideas and opinions in defense of sexual assault are valid and must be heard or else they will resort to ad hominem attacks.

[tonicandgin]

yes!

[Tyme1313]

Honestly, we don't particularly care if you don't want to hear guys opinions. The law is on our side, even if you don't want to do something, if you tell them yes and go along with it, you have given legal consent.

I've personally never had to pressure someone into sex, but I do have a problem when women willing go along with it then try to cry rape later.

[Opinion Owner]

@Tyme1313 if the law is on your side and you have consensual sex then you wouldn’t need to worry about anyone crying rape.

[Anonymous]

Also they have this sense of entitlement for women to treat them nicely. And those who think other people are "stupid", "moron" for not agreeing with them.

[tonicandgin]

Right?

[Opinion Owner]

Actually refering to a specific male gager on here lol! He is always monitoring any male related post by female.. And I notice how he would try to "correct" and "redefine" or gaslight whatever women feel. Judging from his questions and MyTakes, he seems to think of himself as a nice guy ;)

[tonicandgin]

lol nice guys aren't very nice after all

[Opinion Owner]

True that! Good MyTake by the way.

[tonicandgin]

Thnx :)

[Tyme1313]

I'm not a nice guy, I regularly call myself an equal opportunity asshole. I've taught many people the reality of the situation, I just can't sugar coat it. I can personally understand a feeling of entitlement to being treated decently. If they are decent people, they are certainly entitled to being treated with some common courtesy. However, this is for both genders, and goes both ways. If they are a dick, they are certainly entitled to asshole responses.

Just a PSA from your friendly neighborhood asshole. ✌😁

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

This is so relatable.
My (ex) best friend behaved just like that, except pulling a shotgun on me.
But oh boy how much she hammered she was a "nice girl", calling my girlfriend a "sl*t" while trying to push herself on me.

[tonicandgin]

Oh man! I remember that question with the crazy anonymous chick and the long thread of her being either psycho or trolling.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

😂😂😂
I actually suspected it was her!

[tonicandgin]

LMAO! At least most people defended you.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Yes, I'm so grateful for that.
If she was either a troll or a genuine lunatic, she got roasted right.

[tonicandgin]

I think all the downvotes on her comment says it all lol. She never responded after you told her you had a good night :)

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

That's because nice guys and girls always finish last and we are pricks for not being grateful to them 😂😂😂

[tonicandgin]

Ikr!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thanks for mho!

[A-man-22]

This is true for both men and women.

3 and 4 seem to be more a problem in men.

2 seems to be more a problem in women.

There are trash men/women out there, be careful.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to tell you you're wrong. It would be pointless. The problem is you're not right either. A lot of what you listed comes down to opinion and of course guys are going to see it differently.
You, as many women do like a guys who's forward because it shows he has teeth, some balls. But then you want him to sit and roll over when you want him to. Problem is you can't have it both ways. So you make concessions and sometimes find you chose wrong that he isn't quite what you pictured in your head.
Grooming/ conditioning not sure why you labeled this that it didn't seem to fit what you were discussing.
Doesn't take criticizm very well. This is a double edged sword for the guy. if the instructor was making snide remarks he was essenyially challenging the guy. And to make matters worse doing it right in front his date. Respond too severely he runs the risk of displeasing you. Do not respond at all and you may have judged him to be weak.
Deliberately ignored when you said "no". This one i take very seriously so don't get me wrong i don't condoan his actions in any way. But i would like to jump to the end of this paragraph because the end result is you gave in. You had sex with him. You didn't want to but you did you can call it coerced and i'm not debating that. But the botyom line is you rewarded his bad behavior.
I'm not going to debate that this guy was a douchebag turnex psycho. He is! But that doesn't change the fact that you chose this psycho douchebag. And this is the frustrating thing to us guys when we read this. You're telling us either one you're a really bad judge of character who we should avoid at all costs. Or worse that this is the way women are and we're suppossed to act like this guy because bottom line clearly it works.

[xxcandyxxcanes]

Honestly I cringed at the first bullet and hoped you hadn’t continued to date him. If that cringy nice guy shit wasn’t a big red flag, he would’ve been embarrassed as hell in my tango court bc actual dancers don’t fucking whine.

I just REALLY hope that in the future you never open the door for someone like that, especially not to a secluded place like your home or room. Remember that if you are uncomfortable you don’t need a reason to say no. It is not your fault that some people spawn from trash cans, but there are protective decisions to look back on. And if you’re in public and someone like that is trying to take advantage of you, even if emotionally, I’d raise your voice. Better others around you are aware bc they usually don’t want to be labeled publicly.

[Spawnface]

Sadly, I don't think its going to stick to anyone but I agree. Hope you find a deserving man, provided that you aren't awful behind the scenes. Like, I think it's pretty fair stuff but really, the target of the dissent doesn't like fair stuff. Too bad for you I think you'll be having to tranverse these muddy waters longer than you'd hope to. I mean, these guys will eventually find slobbish girls to date but they just keep popping up like daisies. They keep breeding! Its horrible!

I was actually glad to see a type of attack on male behaviour that wasn't vitriolic and insane too. Thanks for that. It's refreshing because there's so little of it around.

[Anonymous]

That “nice guy” was just a manipulator. He was an idiot to tell you about his sexual exploits.

But I got to tell you the whole “nice guy” complex is extremely confusing and depressing. It can mean two different things when a woman says it (I want to fuck you or I want to friendzone you).

Most of the time it’s a bad sign.

[KezHarris]

I agree!

[Opinion Owner]

@KezHarris if you want to compliment a guy you like (romantically) don’t use the word “nice guy”. He will likely cringe.

You can call him sweet though. Every girl who called me sweet had some romantic interest in me. I didn’t like it but it wasn’t as bad as “nice”.

[KezHarris]

Yeah ok

[tonicandgin]

lol, I use nice guy as an insult

[KezHarris]

^ 😂😂

[Opinion Owner]

@KezHarris funny but not funny. How do guys know the difference?

And for real why is it always a “lol” “haha” or “😂” when a nice guy gets screwed? Really, why?

[Opinion Owner]

Got no answer to that do you?

[tonicandgin]

i'm confused now. which context of nice guy are we talking about now?

[KezHarris]

When assholes say that theyre nice guys, so that they get sex off of a girl. They think that because theyre a "nice guy" that theyre entitled to sex with any woman!

[tonicandgin]

@KezHarris yeah and then idiot incels and MGTOW's think it's still the woman's fault

[KezHarris]

Yep! I agree

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t like fake nice guys anymore than you do. That guy you described above definitely fit the bill.

But there are genuine nice guys who might have something going for them (looks, skills, job, etc). Unfortunately they can come off as lack as challenge to women.

Those guys will eventually get girls but their journey is rough. Women get bored and/or suspicious of them. They get friendzoned too. And some bitches mock them as well.

[tonicandgin]

yeah... my boyfriend is the genuinely nice guy and I've always liked him. He's been friendzoned so many times before that's why he ran from me the first time

[Opinion Owner]

Good you know what I’m talking about.

Now when that guy got friendzoned earlier in life did he deserved to be mocked with “lol” “haha” or “😂”? Then when he got angry and depressed did he deserve to be called an “incel”?

What I’m describing above is a form of nasty female bullying. That bullshit needs to stop.

[tonicandgin]

THAT kind of nice guy doesn't deserve it. The one I described in myTake deserves it 100%

[Opinion Owner]

And I completely agree. But just remember this happens to genuine nice guys. It likely happened to your boyfriend. It’s not cool and needs to stop.

[tonicandgin]

Would explain his insecurity the first time we broke up...

[Opinion Owner]

I’m glad you comprehend this young.

Genuine nice guys treat girls who girls “say” they want to be treated. They treat girls the way their parents told them to treat them. They are naive to the game.

Women have every right to accept or reject them. No one is entitled to anything.

But don’t be a cunt and lol guys like that. It damages their self esteem more than you imagine.

[Opinion Owner]

*how they want to be treated

[ILoveAnime]

OMG, first of all that guy is a fuktard, second of all the comments to this post are... well, something else. We have a bunch of good, rational, good people and then we have ones like @juan101.
Enough said.
Also, great post, wish this didn't happen.

[thechesseman]

You're describing NPD. Everything but general Jackassery. I have fun generally being an ass. It's way funnier than just sitting there quietly. I do think part of positive masculinity is to accept criticism no matter how offensive without emotion. In the construction industry people need to be able to say no that's stupid your whole plan is stupid because it costs everyone money. That whole rape thing in number 2 should probably be reported. Sexual arrosall from control is a human characteristic not just male. One girl I dated was more likely to sleep with me after punching me in the face because she felt more in control. I think 4 is just like 2. For 1, every woman I've ever dated pick out clothes for me to wear and cut my hair like a ken doll. Not sure if this is conditioning but I never really cared about it.

[Anon-ymous1]

"Conditioning/Grooming" doesn't exist. It's also known as "talking." Talking is fine, for anyone to do. So...

Everything else you said makes sense, and I agree. However, it seems like you're kinda just ranting about one guy in particular, so why did you generalize it to make it about all guys? Kind of weird.

[tonicandgin]

there were a few. He was the most extreme.

[Anon-ymous1]

What is the point of removing commentary.

[tonicandgin]

What?

[Anon-ymous1]

You or the pink anon didn't like what I wrote on her comment, so either you or she erased it. Hopefully it wasn't you, because that's intellectually pathetic and weak.

[tonicandgin]

It wasn't me

[Anon-ymous1]

Oh okay, good. I didn't think so. I guess she's a moron.

[Dionigi]

Who the Fuck tolerated this? He threatened you with a shotgun!
He raped you! Call the fucking cops!

[tonicandgin]

I filed a report already.

[Dionigi]

Good

[ChiTown33]

He didn't rape her. At least not by the way she described it. In the end she consented. 100 no's and 1 yes = a yes.
He shouldn't have did what he did don't get me wrong.

[Dionigi]

First no is a no. In fact she said he coerced her.

[ChiTown33]

And at the end she appeared to have consented. You don't need to repeat it for me i already read. believe me i wish she had stuck to her guns. Alas she didn't

[Dionigi]

I think we have a different concept of what coercion is

[ChiTown33]

No. You're just giving this incident a pass. I'm not! You're just saying let's just call it rape. The problem is is if at any point she consented it isn't rape. And while rhis incident is tragic at least she knew better than to claim rape. Because what's at stake here is not just her situation. If she had went to the police and claimed she had been raped. Theu arrest the guy, then try the guy and in the trial it comes out she eventually consented. This guy goes free and now this debacle will make it that much harder to get a conviction when the next girl ( who was actually raped) calls rape.

[Dionigi]

This debacle has already been made.
Asking insistently and coercion are proven to bring down the will of people. They are a psychological assault.
The first time she said no is her only answer which would be taken into consideration during the trial.

[ChiTown33]

Taken into consideration and refuted by the fact that she consented.

[Dionigi]

The fact is that he coerced her

[Dionigi]

Ok maybe I should tell everything I think of this story bluntly.
She is fucking stupid. She broke up with a nice boyfriend because she wanted to be "strong and independent" and have adventures in college.
Then she meets this sketchy self-proclaimed nice guy, who gives her countless red flags, which she ignores, because she's just that, stupid.
He tells her to have sex. She says no. He sees how he can coerce and manipulate her. Which is rather simple, given how stupid she is. He manages to manipulate and coerce her and have sex with her. Something that she didn't want to do. But she said yes because her fragile thought process was altered by his coercion.
When she finally realised who he actually was, she runs back to her ex. Who heroically (or pathetically, i would have abandoned her) takes her back.
He threatens them with a weapon. Her ex finally talks her into filing a report.
She doesn't apologise to her ex. And instead goes full on feminazi writing this shit. Where she uses her rapist as a representative of all men. Which he isn't. He is a sociopath and a rapist. His actions shouldn't be tolerated nor condoned in any way.

[tonicandgin]

I didn't break up with him. He's the one that broke up with me.

[Éire1995]

Well there are genuinely nice guys and then there are guys who think that by being nice they are entitled to fuck whatever girls they are using this nice guy act on, they become very aggressive and show their true colours, when their nice guy act fails, the fake nice guy is definitely more common because it’s a man who doesn’t know how to get women any other way than to use this technique, but yeah good take

[johnlast420]

None of that behaviour could or should be tolerated, really glad you filed a report! And really sorry you had to be subjected to such a scum bag!

[Anonymous]

He wasn't a nice or a good guy! He sexually assaulted you (when he coerced you into having sex with him).
Do yourself a favor, hon, and read any one of Josette Sona's free ebooks (to know why some guys act the way they do - and which guys to avoid).
A gentleman accepts it when a woman says no.

[sp33d]

A "libtard" ? :D New favourite word.

The guy is pressured by what he thinks is 'cool'. Also, when you said no, he probably got it in his head to push it, because that's what you 'libtard bitches' play for. In other words, too many movies or chick flicks got this guy fucked up. I mean you can blame him, but meh.. what ever.

[MarioXx]

I don't think that's acceptable althought that begs the question of what is and what isn't and where the line is drawn.

If I don't like someone as a person, I don't associate with them and they don't exist.

[weasley8]

That guy sounds like a total nightmare. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and I hope he leaves you alone in the future.

[RACKnight]

You should visit the South sometime. Women here IDOLIZE guys by the millions-that exude these very characteristics by the minute.

[tonicandgin]

That's sad

[RACKnight]

Well... in just about every negative statistic imaginable, they're the national leaders in them (STD rate, divorce rate, teen pregnancy rate, lowest women's voter turnout, violent crime per capita, lowest wages, etc)... so low standards are what's accepted. Being clean, educated, treating women equally and having high standards gets you stared at.

[lord_chilled]

damn, you need to learn some boundaries.

never get into the car of someone who was pestering you for it the whole time.
how did you expect that to end. there is always another option. always.

[Jackblue]

Well sexual assault, and pulling a gun on somebody are illegal so they are arguably not tolerated. You need to at least get a restraining order against this guy if you have not already.

[Jackblue]

I hope you are ok

[Nadim171]

Good take, I'll post one saying the same thing about women, the difference:
I'll be called a sexist, you'll be called empowering. Guess who's really privellaged

[tonicandgin]

I got a lot of insults too. I won't judge.
have @Jean-Marie_Céline help you.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

@Nadim171 Who has a brain and understand will understand.
Idiots can and are both guys and girls.
That said, if you actually read the Take, it seems you understood nothing.

[Nadim171]

What you said is actually true 99%. The problem is double standards.
Blacks can't be racist
Women can't be sexist
Muslims can't be christianophobic

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

The matter here is not about double standards - it's about behavior that shouldn't be tolerated.
I've had a similar experience with a "nice girl", it doesn't really change - it's the same creepiness, desperation and cringe.

[Nadim171]

Exactly

[intjgamer]

So basically this isn't a how to, rather taking your frustration out from a bad date.

[Lance1965]

This post might be about men but you have just described my ex-wife.

[tonicandgin]

Maybe I should of called this post "how to spot a psycho"

[Exterminatore]

@Lance

My ex too.

Now I’m a practical expert on psychopathy/narcissism

Sorry bro you experienced that. People like this are a nightmare to live with or be in a relationship