Here's What I Like About Men, Part II

AmandaYVR

I like when you are...

Playful
Playful
Pensive
Pensive
Seductive
Seductive
Expectant
Expectant
And even melancholic
And even melancholic

So there's a lot of negativity in the world, a lot of things to feel negative about. It's legit, I know. There are some topics I want to tackle, and eventually will; I've got half-written articles and notes and books and documentaries galore... but right now, I think I want to focus on the good. It puts me in a better mood, and maybe it will for you too.

Prompted by @Jean-Marie_Céline and his latest question circulating right now, I feel inspired. Let me tell you why. It's not just because he asked (and I answered) What do you like the most about your opposite gender? It's because he is a reminder of the power of change. I won't make this about him, or he and me and what exactly transpired, but suffice to say he deserves great kudos and a big pat on the back (and bear hug) for what can only, or at least, be described as a dramatic change of course and attitude (and maybe heart.) And I am sincerely happy, and hopeful, that his newfound outlook will bring many good things into his life. (It already has.) (As I said, it's really impressive, Jean-Marie.) Never underestimate the potential of people, and especially of individuals. I believe with everything that I know, and have learned about life, that people can change.

I can't tell you how many times, on #GAG, I have seen examples of men putting in effort, to relate and communicate, to be better, happier, healthier, human beings. I've had many in-depth conversations, hours upon hours over my year and a half or so here, and you really are to be commended. The specific men know who you are, or have been. To you, I tip my hat. I thank you and appreciate the provocative dissections and deconstructions, of what ails society today, the sharing of some laughs, and the sometimes bearing of your souls. You stimulate my mind, and sometimes help me clarify my thinking, on the most challenging of subjects and issues. Often, it is you who make coming to this site worthwhile.

But this is really about men in general. I have no problem sometimes apologizing on behalf of women, girls, and the frustration you sometimes feel (it is most certainly valid.) I think the opposite sex could use an apology for ' X ' and a thank you for ' X '? Some of you don't think it really matters, an abstract apology from someone who was not the one who wronged you. So let's call it, instead, an appreciation. Which is also quite easy for me to do, because my experience with men is generally quite positive (sometimes very positive.) Yes, there's some gnarly, snarly ones online, for sure, but we tend to run in different circles, and I have become smarter and wiser about where I place my eyes and invest my energy, so my world is once again generally quite peaceful. Anyway, I think you could use some appreciation, some gratitude again, so here we go. (I've done this once before, and I will try not to repeat myself, but no promises. In fact, maybe it's better to call it an expansion of some of the ideas in the first one.) Here's What I Like About Men

Aww, such a cutie pie
Aww, such a cutie pie

You Bring Levity to Life

I need to preface this by saying that guys who are funny are far from being on the top of my list of traits I look for. But I've been thinking about this lately, and I have come to the I think fair conclusion that men really do bring levity to life. I don't want you to try to make me laugh; but I also don't want you to not try, if that makes any sense. I don't want to be serious all the time. I want to have fun, and play with you sometimes. And when you are nimble, and loose, and play along with me, it is, frankly, so much fun. So keep doing it. Keep putting smiles on our faces. (And I especially like those occasional drop-the-mic moments, when you come in hard, and leave without checking to see if everyone is laughing. Now that is cool.) So, I give you permission to - sometimes - distract us from our often-detailed, minutia-filled, emotionally-heavy existence.

This is your brain trying to understand women and remember everything shes saying
This is your brain trying to understand women and remember everything she's saying

Details, Details

Thanks for putting up with a sometimes incessant amount of detail. I'm sure it's fair to say that in general the pinks here, and everywhere, don't comment and interact as much as you'd like them to (it's with everyone, not just you, trust me), but I know what they're like in person, and I certainly know what I'm like, so I thank you for putting up with the sometimes onslaught of words, and details. It probably feels like you're drowning in them sometimes. So, sorry about that. (I tried to do my best to convince the pinks they need to adapt some.) The Pink Guide to Speaking Blue

Hey, I think he got a live one, someones actually responded, yay for him
Hey, I think he got a live one, someone's actually responded, yay for him

It Sucks Always Having to be the Initiator, and Receiving Dead Air in Return

This one's for the majority of guys who never get approached, or contacted, or replied to, and if they are not the proactive ones, ain't nothin' goona' happen. The Personal and Societal Benefits of Girls Taking the Initiative With Guys in Relationships and A Guy's Guide to Digital Communication: How to Talk to Girls Online I'm not just talking about dating; I'm talking about just some friendly chats, wherever, whenever, and about whatever common interests you might have. I won't get into why the pinks are like this, because this is about you, men, so I'll just say that you definitely bear the burden of first approach, and I know that's not fair, and it takes a toll.

I think youre so sexy when youre like this
I think you're so sexy when you're like this

Sometimes You Just Want a Little Peace and Quiet

... and it doesn't mean something bad. Right? Right. Silence is golden. A certain amount of alone time, time to reflect, time to recharge, (and yes, even a little time to play video games), and some small semblance of independence, is a necessary part of every creature's existence. Sometimes all you need is to be in the same room with us, but silent, or do different things. It doesn't mean the relationship is falling apart, you don't still love us, or that silence = tension. (Got that, ladies?)

Life is just hard sometimes. Happens to all of us
Life is just hard sometimes. Happens to all of us

You're Not Made of Stone, I Know

For all you men who have been burned by some girl, for showing any vulnerability or emotion in a temporary weakened, yet utterly human state... screw 'em. I'll probably repeat this as much as you need to hear it: those women suck. In fact, I'll bet they aren't grown-ass, evolved women. They're either emotionally stunted or immature chicks who just haven't got with the times, or figured out life yet. The days of strict gender roles, clear divisions of labour, and being holed up separately in the kitchen or the garage, etc. etc. are over. Yes, some women can be manipulative, vindictive, take advantage, and want 'men to be men' (and so do some men), but I think you have just as much right to complain about women losing their sense of humanity and femininity. That magnifying glass can be pointed both ways, and your feelings are no less valid.

I am not everywoman, but I'll speak for myself. You are no less attractive, or interesting, or valuable as a human being, when you express some vulnerability, or 'weakness', or pain. I love you just the same.

Heres What I Like About Men, Part II

Your Masculinity is Not Inherently Toxic

Masculinity really just means male, or characteristic of a man. And nowhere in this definition does it state that your inherent maleness is somehow wrong or bad.

Some men rape, some pillage, some take what is not theirs. Some are violent, some are criminals, some have low ethics and morality. Some use their might and force to impose their will upon others. But still, your masculinity is not toxic.

Your physical strength is of great advantage. You have built our cities, engineered our world, explored the solar system, crossed vast oceans, and tamed wild beasts. You are good at pattern recognition, eye tracking fast-moving objects, problem-solving, torque, and speed. You are more decisive, literal, and direct. You can often more efficiently compartmentalize your stress and emotions to 'get the job done.' You fight a natural, intrinsic-to-all-living-creatures fear response, to go into danger, rather than away from it. And you are, quite often, our heroes and saviors.

Simply put, don't listen to the voices who disparage half the human population. It's madness to lump all men under this umbrella of 'toxic.' Negativity is toxic. Making young boys apologize for being male is toxic. I don't believe it, and many others of the female persuasion also do not. We support you, we love you, and we thank you.

Heres What I Like About Men, Part II

Your Self-Reliance is Commendable

There is so much chatter about how women feel vulnerable (and it is true, not blowing smoke, for the most part.) But men never openly complain about the very same thing, and it is actually men who are most often the victims of violent crime (perpetrated by men, almost always.) It must be difficult, at times, to not feel as though anyone has your back, will come to your rescue, should something happen.

And not only were you built and bred for self-reliance in the physical sense, but really, in every sense. There is no fall-back plan. You are still seen as the primary earners and producers. You often can rely, truly, only on yourself. And for that, I am sorry. I think more women need to recognize the inherent isolation, and sometimes loneliness, in that realization and existence.

Yin yang Boho Trees by MagneticMama
'Yin yang Boho Trees' by MagneticMama

Different but Equal

All we really want (all of us, that's you included) is to be equally valued. I like your differences. Especially in the way you think. Two of me would be way too much. I want you, want to talk to you, want to be around you, because you are different. We make each other better. (Yes, sometimes I want to throw a pillow in your face to shut you up - or worse - but this is about appreciation, so hush up.) I do not see these differences anymore as anything more than friction points. We will use our hefty brains to negotiate calm, peaceable settlements... aka compromises, and we will all be the better for it.

Alexis Papas
Alexis Papas

You're Sexy Just as You Are

Don't ever doubt that you are also sexy, and desired. You are. We like your angles, your muscles, your bigger stature, and your deeper voices; and your stubble... oh, it hurts so good.

But maybe the thing we really love most is the way you look at us. Every man deserves to feel as desired as we do by you. There is a saying that a woman remembers not just you, but the way you made her feel. I've been pondering this. I think it's true. But also, that it must be true for you too.

Heres What I Like About Men, Part II
A Bleeding Rose by HunterOfSolitude, DeviantArt
'A Bleeding Rose' by HunterOfSolitude, DeviantArt

In Closing

I like some of you, I have loved a few of you, but I respect every man who continues to put in effort out there, and who is bold and brave enough to go on a journey of self-discovery. (My belief is that this only truly ends in our final breaths.) Some of you have included me in that, shared with me your challenges, both personal, and of being a man in today's world. I have learned a lot from you, and we have shared some very personal stories. Some of you wrestle demons, of both the internal and external kind. Your fight and perseverance is admirable. (And not so different than us pinks, really.) And for all of you, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. You are not the enemy. You are our friends, comrades, associates, partners, lovers, and sometimes partners in crime.

Don't change. Well, change a little (it's good for everyone), but basically, there's nothing really wrong with you. I appreciate you, and I say thank you. For what? For... whatever. For keeping us on our toes. For challenging us. And for loving us.

Here's What I Like About Men, Part II
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Unit1
    Awwwyyy, thank you kindly Ms. Amanda. I love you too (not literally but platonically).
    It is quite refreshing to see women's love directed at us, knowing we are actually loved by the pinks pretty much like we love women. For me it is somewhat difficult to acknowledge, that women actually love us and that is only reinforced by the lack of appreciation from their side - which luckily isn't the case here.

    I say enough with the hate, bitterness and the fights. Focus the energy to the worthy. And that is in regards to love.
    I think if we reward more love/adoration towards each other and ignore (or parry, fight back, whatever you like) the hate/attacks at each other, we'd come closer towards harmony between the sexes rather than setting up trenches and tossing ill mannered arguments against each other.
    Is this still revelant?
    • AmandaYVR

      That was so well said!! Love it.

    • Unit1

      🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

    • Unit1

      Thanks for the most helpful opinion love ❤

    • Show All
  • ShadezMcgee
    This was a very nice and wholesome read, @AmandaYVR it feels nice to know there are some vocal women around that don't damn or scorn men to bejesus and back.

    It is a much needed, well written and welcome piece of support that would be nice to see more women back and defend.

    Everything in here strikes true and is something men deal with daily despite the adversity from fellow men and women. It is written with respect and at the end of the day, it is probably one of the biggest things we desire the most. Just genuine respect and kindness.
    Is this still revelant?
    • AmandaYVR

      Thank you, Shadez.
      I'm very impressed by you. I read many good, sensible, things.

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What Girls & Guys Said

733
  • Lliam
    You really covered some territory in this and your previous post on the subject, Amanda. It's this attitude that makes a man glad to be a man. And it's why men love women. Thank the gods for women like you. I just commented on Jean-Marie_Céline's post, by the way, although I could never match your thoroughness or eloquence.

    Here's to youhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/Rqnw5IfbZOU
    • AmandaYVR

      Thank you, Lliam 💛.
      You most certainly weren't eloquent. Loved it.

  • MasterOfReality
    You sound like one really cool chick and why men love women and your type. We appreciate YOUR appreciation and hope you appreciate ours.
    Men and women have so much in common and really compliment one another perfectly. It’s the reason why I detest modern feminism which seeks to separate men and women and destroy masculinity, and actually, also seeks to destroy femininity, whether they realize it or not.
  • COMMODOREII
    After reading this i felt it. You really know how to hit a guy in his heart. It feels like for once someone actually cares and it makes me shake all over. Thank you for your sweet words my friend. Here's What I Like About Men, Part II
    • AmandaYVR

      Thank you, commodoreii. And I love this picture. This really speaks to some very deep place in the heart.

    • I appreciate you Amanda. Never change. 💞💞💞

  • Very good Take and intriguing read Amanda, thank you for sharing.
    I admit that despite being a man myself, men in general can be a bit of a mistery to me because I've grown up and interacted with very few men and much more women and even now I tend to be more comfortable with female company than male ones. I would really like to have more men friends but it's like there's something of an abyss that it's difficult to cross. Ironically the situation I have with my fellow men is indeed a mirror of those many guys have - they have difficulties approaching and mainting relationships and friendships with women and get along much easier with other guys; while I get along almost instantenously with women but am very awkward around men.

    Anyhow, getting back on topic, all the points you have raised are perfectly valid. I find most men, men as in mature human beings and not boys, to be someone and something that I really admire and strive to be like them. Their ability to be confident, tough as stone and yet sensible and empathetic, their self-reliance, their ''less is more'' approach that simplifies things and get immediate results, it's something that I find enviable and admirable at the same time.

    And I agree that masculinity in itself is a positive trait and not something toxic in itself as it's common fashion to say nowadays. Nothing is toxic as long as there's mutual respect, boundaries and understanding.
    I really like the concept of ''Different but Equal'' that you have brought up - differences don't dictate who's superior and who's inferior, who's dominant and who's submissive - rather they make that unique mix that makes people and things in life unique and interesting. And I think that appreciating the differences that exists between women and men is one of the first true steps towards equality and a better future for all. Appreciate both the differences and the similarities (there are more than we can think at first impression), and there's a definite big reason if for millennia, two human creatures that have different thought patters, remarcably different characteristics and emotional process, and even function vastly differently on some aspects, still approach each other and understand each other perfectly when necessary.
  • Pogi-Paddy-2
    Very well spoken and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts. And I have a newfound respect for you and your thoughts and feelings. Thank you for taking the time to write this.🌹☯️

    @AmandaYVR
    I mirror the words of my old GaG account, and reading it a second time around, I realised that there is so much more to your myTake which I find remarkably refreshing. I look forward to reading more of your myTakes.☯️
    • AmandaYVR

      Thank you so much 💐.
      48 down, many more in the works. Stay tuned. (Just got to focus my damn head. Always so full of thoughts.)

    • I will be patiently awaiting the next ones.☯️

  • Suziedicostah
    Superb article!!! I really appreciate your words.👍
  • The_Sal
    thank you.
    feminist are trying to change us and turn us into women. we are who we are, imagine a world without men. we are heading that way very fast
  • I agree. I also loved and been heartbroken💔. But at the end of the day I realize how much difficult they have it but still try, especially with emotions and that some things aren't just easy for them like it is for females. And I appreciate that they try so hard to get it together but sometimes get lost in the middle & lose their way but really they need a lot of support and encouragement
    • Nazgol

      & how unfair it is that society can be so tough on them

  • Tommy300
    Thank you so much he really hit the hammer on the head thank you for being open minded.
  • Makeushiver
    Appreciation is a wonderful thing, Appreciation when it's undeserved is an act of grace.
  • Pogi-Paddy
    Very well spoken and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts. And I have a newfound respect for you and your thoughts and feelings. Thank you for taking the time to write this.🌹
  • Angelo75
    awwwwww
    @AmandaYVR Now it's really really really hard for me to resist the urge to just walk up to you and give you a hug and just say THANK YOU.
  • Unbeatable
    What youve written is a narcissistic love bomb. In a week when its not time to appreciate "us" you'll be putting the pillow over our faces.
    • AmandaYVR

      Fuck you, buddy.
      You've been here 2 months and you make baseless assumptions about me on one single thing you've read.
      I know many of these men on here and you are not included in this. Go spread your hate elsewhere. I won't allow you to pollute my, or others' view, of good men. And you sure as hell ain't one of 'em.

    • The_Sal

      lmao

  • Riebeck
    It;s really sad that this doesn't cheer me up. That's just me. But I'm sure many people will love you for this. Cheers.
  • Anpu23
    Thank you. We appreciate you as well. Friendship, as well as romance is the spice of life. Thank you for caring.
  • Phoenix98
    Well we appreciate it, it's always nice to see some positivity.
  • Really do hope people give this a proper read through

    Well written/said x
  • Horny-ashell
    Very well said I'd really like to thank you for sharing.
  • Very well written and very refreshing to read. I cannot recall the last time a woman actually expressed any appreciation for men. Thank you!
  • anon1903
    Make one on woman too if you ever get time.

    Fabulous take!!!
  • Alpha4U
    Thats nice. but we are not equal. because we are different we can never be equal.
    • AmandaYVR

      We can be equally valued, even with our differences.

  • Bogoboj
    I can really feel the respect for us men in this take.

    Thank you!
  • Juxtapose
    Thank you, it's not often I see women giving such a sincere effort to understand and appreciate men!
  • joshctlee
    I really like this article, being a man is challenging.
    One that really resonates with me is the initiator thing. The girl I’m talking to now we both admitted to liking each other. I’m always the initiator and she reply’s to my texts really fast and stays engaged but only if I’m engaged.
    I hate being the initiator all the time!


    It’s different for me cause the last 3 relationships the woman was the initiator. They really wanted to be involved in my life.


    By this one now is a little confusing.
  • InferiorElegy
    But be honest you only like these in good looking guys, no female likes going lower than a 4 in looks and if they do they constantly cheat or look for better.
    • AmandaYVR

      No. I fell in love with my husband sight unseen (LDR, before video chat, etc.), and I married him for his personality, character, and our compatibility. It is likely one of the key reasons why we are still together, 21 years later.
      It is unwise to choose partners based on appearance as the priority. Many people have yet to learn this.
      I don't rate people with numbers, ever. But in your hypothetical scenario, the guy simply needs to find another 4 or lower. Like with like. What is so difficult to understand about that?
      Guys are the ones who have always been 'visual', not women. (I absolutely agree that this is changing, girls are becoming more self-sufficient, and therefore even more particular), but even still, women who want serious relationships, a serious, compatible partner, do not choose only based on looks. (On Tinder, yes. But dating apps are an offshoot, not the whole enchilada.)
      We will all look for the best we can find. But again, it's not all about the external. We compensate for what we lack by being strong in other ways.
      Everyone has flaws, Elegy. I know you're very depressed and you have little hope. But you're hurting more than helping yourself. You must fight your tendency towards destruction and being a defeatist.

  • YesICan
    All of these men in the photos are attractive, that's what women like. As long as you are good-looking you can even be nerdy and it will be considered attractive.
    • YesICan

      Edit: I'm judging this based on what I've seen on here.

  • Jjpayne
    This amazing! Thank you for posting this!
  • Sparda20xx
    Extremely well done. Thank you for posting
    • AmandaYVR

      Thank you and you're welcome 🤛

  • AkshiJanjua
    as every girl is different , every guy is also different
    Many will not be like you described
  • It's fun
    They like the person
    They are just frustrated and take it out on the weakest link
  • Smegskull
    Sucks they were killed off. Just have to put up with what's left in the game out of what's left of men.
  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    Very nice Take!! ♥️👍
  • jrose71
    I like when a guy is down to Earth and wants to get to know me.
  • Asianguy123
    And the most importantly money$$$$
    • AmandaYVR

      Take your bullshit elsewhere.
      Doesn't apply here. I married my husband with him being $30K in debt and neither of us having any real assets to our name, yet we built a pretty damn good life together. So take your biases and shove it.

  • Remember men...

    This is ONE woman's OPINION
  • monkeynutts
    Cool, it’s always nice to read something positive.
  • Lynx122
    Good take :)
  • Daniel_Dano
    Beautiful mytake!
  • YukiNeko
    This is great! Thanks for the advice
  • 420Rachel
    Gotta love our boys. 😎👍
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