Why do guys give the silent treatment?

[Shimmyshammy]

We use to talk and laugh every single day. One day, just like that, he stopped talking to me and texting me. There is no other girl and I have no other guy. We were great great friends but now all he does is avoid me. If we are in the same room, he'll literally get up and move away from me yet keep glancing at me. At first I thought he was looking at someone else so I would focus on other people and other things. I'd look over and there he was, watching. He REALLY stares if other guys talk to me. He won't talk to me though. What gives? Why is he keeping himself away?

Updates

+1 y

I went in tonight and he couldn't stop glancing at me. I didn't approach him or sit by him (there wasn't any places by him anyway) but he continued to glance at me. So bizarre...

Updates

+1 y

I told a friend in front of him a funny story as I was walking out of the room for a second. He laughed at all my funny jokes but didn't look at me or face me. No one else was talking around us to him, he was listening to my story. weird, huh?

Updates

+1 y

Well, almost 3 1/2 months later, he finally broke the ice. With an impish smile, he said hello, asked how I was doing, even acted silly & nervous. I can't be mad at him! I've REALLY missed him! Now if I only knew what to do or say!

[Anonymous]

There could be a multitude of reasons as to why he no longer speaks to you. Perhaps a third party influenced him to think otherwise of you. Perhaps he has feelings for you, but is not ready for a relationship, which therefor makes it difficult to continue the friendship with you.

But, I feel, in any event, he viewed you as more than a platonic friend. And as a result, he decided that, for whatever reason, dating you was a long shot or was not going to work. Thus, as many guys have done to many women whom they feel they can't proceed with, he cut ties with you without providing an explanation.

[Shimmyshammy]

So that behavior and/or action is common? I've known him for a few years and this last year we have become very very close. I heard him say a long time ago that he didn't want a relationship. Is it that he may have told himself that it is what he wants but his feelings are betraying him?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, for some, that type of behavior is common. Some guys would rather disappear on women rather than inform the women they are no longer interested and face the pain they've caused.

In regards to your last question, it's quite possible, as is the other reasons. In any event, It's immature and cold of him to end the friendship in the manner in which he did. With that, I suggest that you push your emotions to the side and attempt to evaluate the situation from the outside inwards. Would you treat someone that you truly cared for in such manner? No? I didn't think that you would.

[Shimmyshammy]

Great insight. How can you tell that he viewed me more than a platonic friend btw?

I think in any normal circumstance, a person woupd rationalize that yes, you don't completely abandon a friendship; however, when feelings are involved, rational thought goes out the window! I feel like he doesn't know how to feel so he refuses TO feel.

[Opinion Owner]

How, do you ask? His actions is indicative of a guy who is crushing on a girl. Staring at you paying close attention to you when guys talk to you is a good sign that it bothers him, which suggests he views you as more than a platonic friend.

[Shimmyshammy]

Sigh... and if I come close to him to talk to another person, he starts to get extremely figity and taps his knee like mad. I figured it was because he wanted to get away from me.

I will never understand why some men struggle with their emotions. As a female, the idea is so foreign to me as I am so intuned to mine.

[A-Lee]

I say try asking him. I mean its gonna be hard but find a way to talk to him alone,(if possible) or if it is absolutely impossible, then just send him a text or 2 saying you want to talk to him. If he doesn't respond then you are going to have to move on. Or at least hope he will get over it after awhile

[messedupgirlyxo]

Maybe he likes you and is afraid you don't feel the same so is trying to get the feelings to go. If you genuinely can't think of anything you've done that he could have interpreted negatively I would think he likes you

[Shimmyshammy]

I have racked my brain over and over and over. Seriously. I'm ALL about accountability, apologizing, etc. There was NOTHING.

[messedupgirlyxo]

Ask him. If he doesn't reply ask if he likes you or if you did something wrong. If he still doesn't reply you'll have to leave it I'm afraid.

[Shimmyshammy]

Almost a month ago I text him saying I missed him very much. I wanted to put this weird whatever this is behind us. No response. Now, as you see, he can't even be near me. We never talk to eachother, even if we have just one person standing between us. We just act like that other person is the only person we are talking to.

[messedupgirlyxo]

Ask him again, if nothing, leave it. I'm so sorry this is happening for you

[mercurymorris0028]

He doesn't have the balls to ask you out some frustrated that you're not together and wishes you would make the move singe doesn't have to put himself out there. It's too risky, lol. He really likes you. If you want him to ask I out drop some
Big hints on him and make it easy.
;)

[Shimmyshammy]

how the heck can I do that when he won't talk to me and moves away from me if I even sit close to him? When he moved away, he started to flirt with this girl I can't stand. She likes him and so she enjoyed how OBVIOUS his moving away from me was. Where I was sitting, he knew I had no choice but to see. She tried harder and then he backed off a little. Still though. Why the games?

[mercurymorris0028]

He was probably trying to make you jealous. I would just let things roll. Leave him alone for a while, let him drift back to you. Then when you guys are cool again and close, suggest hanging out solo. If he doesn't budge it act on that then he needs to man up or you move on. Can't wait around for ever, make him push for you.

[Shimmyshammy]

You know what's interesting? When he was briefly sitting on the other side of our friend? She unknowingly said an inside joke between him and I. I quickly retorted and he smiled looking down (God forbid he looks at me!!!) but then he quickly frowned. It's like he WANTS to keep me at arms length. Why has he pushed me away so hard?

[mercurymorris0028]

Have you made him jealous?

[Shimmyshammy]

He hasn't been talking to me at all so I allow guys to approach me or talk to me when normally I wouldn't when I sit with him. It was like an unspoken thing when we were sitting together. So now, it's obvious that he gets jealous when guys hit on me or talk to me. Well, he completely and totally stares and watches that is.

[mercurymorris0028]

Yep he's mad and you've made him jealous...

[Shimmyshammy]

What im trying to say is that he was mad beforehand. Or at lesst awkward and silent. Now he doesn't like it when guys approach me. It works both ways. I don't like it when women hit on him. Yet we go back to sitting in silence.

[mercurymorris0028]

Haha sort to laugh. This is very familiar With me. I went through this with a girl that is in a relationship, but we were going back and forth. We mad each other both jealous. No one moved on anything or told the other how they felt. Things went awkward between us. Now we hardly talk. If you like him don't wait for him to make a move or it will turn out like my situation.
Time will pass so and you guys will
Move ok otherwise. Hope that helps you.

[Shimmyshammy]

We've gotten to the awkward point. Last night he slightly said something towards me. Not really to me but it was so out in the open and only 2 other people were in the room. I think he's considering not being so mad or hurt or whatever.

[mercurymorris0028]

Ok well I'm telling you... that awkward phase is the warning sign, the next phase is a done deal
Most likely... I've done this. The next move is you guys avoid each other so as not to stir up old feelings again.

[Shimmyshammy]

He IS avoiding me. I can't even sit in close proximity. .. He'll move!!! I text him a few weeks ago atating that I missed him and wanted this awkwardness to end and he didn't say a thing! Now he just glances at me a lot. I know I must be crazy but I won't give up! He cracked just a smidgr last night but I can't push it too hard. He did this to me about 2 years ago. I weaseled my way back in and we became super close. My thing is that he acts like he doesn't want anything yet behaves otherwise ESPECIALLY when there's other guys around. So... what do you do when you've tried? Just wait? It's been 2 1/2 months. We hang out at the same exact place so I see him a few times a week.

[mercurymorris0028]

Honestly, if move on at this point. Can't force it. See other guys, talk about other guys flirt with them so be knows about it. If he's jealous he still has feelings. But you can't wait around dreading and thinking. If he wants you and sees you with another guy he'll come back fighting for you.

[Shimmyshammy]

sooooooooo many mixed signals... I left him alone. Now, if anyone compliments me, talks to me, let alone hugs me or pays attention to me, he stares or watches. Most of the time he tries not to look so obvious... but yet he doesn't talk to me. I hate this. I've tried to talk to him and he just won't budge. I like him a lot but I don't get why he is keeping me so far away.

[Akuma]

He's not happy with you. Some thing he senses he is disjusted with you and is ashamed to be seen with you. That's what I'm picking up on. So what have you done or said.

[Shimmyshammy]

That's the thing. I haven't done or said anything! The night before we were perfectly fine. Laughing and having a great time. I text him the next day saying I hope he was having a great day. I saw him later that night and he gave me the cold shoulder and moved away from me. NO IDEA why he is acting like this!

[Akuma]

Well you have done something. Guys aren't put off easily think back.

[Shimmyshammy]

I have retraced my steps a billion times. Re-read text messages. I have NO idea. Believe me, I went in and sat next to him and he acted so weird. I tried to talk to him and he got worse. I was completely unaware. Even by texting him later, weeks down the line, he didn't even bother to reply to say if something bad WAS done. Nothing. I'm completely in the dark here.

[Akuma]

Haverton tried asking him what's matter. He may be to scared to proceed you freaked him out

[Shimmyshammy]

how on earth did I freak him out? He and I both would text eachoter all the time, all day long. He would initiate and me as well.

[Akuma]

Talk to him ask him

[Anonymous]

Wow he acts just like me. I think he likes you a lot but is just a bit insecure.

[Shimmyshammy]

So why does he keep away like he does? Only about a week ago did he break the ice. I tried to talk to him more and it freaked him out and now he is back to ignoring me and glancing at me from afar.

[Opinion Owner]

If he is the shy type then he is most likely insecure as well. Keep in mind that shy guys tend to "push" the girl the like away.. The reason for this is because they feel the girl will never like them back because of their low self esteem.

When you tried to talk to him; how did you approach him?

[Opinion Owner]

ALSO, if you have flirted with other guys or even if you've acted friendly or something; he may take that as you liking them and this in turn will make him run away from you even more unfortunately...

[Shimmyshammy]

Back in July, I text him that I missed him and wanted the awkwardness to stop. No answer.
It wasn't until he randomly said hi to me about 2 weeks ago. A few days after that, he tried to get my attention, I saw this as a good sign so I woud text him a silly pic (like a meme you'd find off facebook.) just like we use to. No response. I tried again a few days later. Nothing. Now if I sit too close, he gets rigid and stiff. He'll start to get nervous and figit and finally either get up and move away or pay and leave. I wonder what made him break the icec 2 weeks ago. He was coy and bashful but I was very happy for him to have done it. Now he acts like nothing ever happened.

[Shimmyshammy]

and im not flirting with other guys. honestly, I'm just talking to people. I'm pretty happy go lucky and am desperately trying to act as though this crap between us is nothing. it helps keep others from asking about it.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay I see. There is two options I see for this. Either he really likes you or he knows you like him and is acting weird like this to not give you hope.

All of this can get quite confusing honestly. ..