Why does he worry what and when I eat?

Question

My boyfriend of just over 4 months has always cared what I eat and when I eat. It's not like I have an eating disorder or anything and I'm not all skin and bones I have a little fat here and there. I'm 5foot 6 and 132 pounds so I'm not small. But he always wants me to eat more than I want or if I say I'm just a bit hungry he tells me to eat or he's going to stop talking to me. This has caused the majority of our arguments and I am starting to wonder if I should just let him have is way or what to do. He also hates it when I work out in any way so I don't know what to do anymore. Please help. Should I let him force me to eat and why does he care so much?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's one thing to be concerned if someone has an eating disorder, but his seems different. You should be able to work out or eat when you want to. I get the same thing as well, so I understand. I wouldn't say I am stick thin, but I don't really need to lose weight either. I hike everyday because I enjoy it. I get people nagging at me all the time to stop hiking because I don't need to lose weight. I also only eat when I get really hungry. I'm the go all the time between work and hiking, and other activities so I don't sit down and eat every meal. As soon as my stomach growls, I eat. So many people are after me about it too.

I just tell them it doesn't change or affect their life, so just leave me alone. My Doctor says I am healthy, and he knows my eating habits. He's the only person whose opinion matters for this I think. I see him regularly for check ups.

Tell him you enjoy working out, and you'll eat when you're hungry. You're a grown woman, and he isn't in charge of you. Also he seems rather childish when he threatens that he won't talk to you if you don't eat. He needs to grow up.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

It could be him being more worried about how you look than what you eat. My boyfriend always tells me to eat more too, offering ice-cream and whatnot frequently. We haven't argued over it but when I called him on it and asked him why he's trying to 'fatten me up' with all the junk-food, he semi-jokingly replied it's because I work out so much and I guess he doesn't want me to be too fit in comparison to him? Plus the fitter you are, the more attention you'll get from other guys.

It could be something like that in your situation. Either way, don't let anybody force feed you. It's your own body. Even if you're in a dangerous situation, say extremely underweight, he should refer you to a professional versus taking it into his own hands.

GirlScoutsRevenge · Accepted Answer

Sounds to me like he's a "feeder". Does he want you to gain weight? Does he ever say you are too slim?

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I'm confused especially since it sounds like you're annoyed that you're working out. It almost sounds like he wants you to get fat or something or is trying to mislabel you as "anorexic." There's no reason to eat more than your body is telling you to. If anything, working out will increase your caloric needs helping you to "eat more." I'd even wonder if he is a "fit shamer" or "skinny shamer."

Don't let him force you to eat. It's none of his business. If you were truly not eating any food at all I'd see it as a concern but this doesn't seem to be the case since even when you do eat it is "never enough."

I workout and notice that when some people see the changes, they get pretty pissed and you will get haters. who want that progress to disappear. Usually guys like to see this as it means their girlfriend becomes hotter and sexier. But there may be a chance that he feels if you get a hotter body that you may leave him.

AllThatSweetJazz · Accepted Answer

He sounds like he's trying to be a Dom. If you're not into a partner controlling you to that degree then don't do it and tell him you're not into it. If he can't handle that and accept you then he needs to take his Mr. Grey-esque controlling attitude to a nice slave girl who's into that.

matheus_mb · Answer

What? This is really weird. He should respect that this is your decision and actually you're trying to be healthier. This doesn't make sense, he wants you to be fat then? He doesn't want you to work out? Nonsense.

Keep doing what you're doing, you're doing nothing wrong and he should understand it.

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

Eat what you want and workout when you , he should not be controlling you cause
he may push you away as long as you feel healthy don't worry about it cause people
we date can become a big influence in our life;s sometimes in bad / toxic ways..

Mickdodge · Answer

Hey, its you! This is another insecurity issue like the one we talked about yesterday. He wants you to become unattractive so other guys won't pay attention to you. Girl, he is trying to control you! I suggest tell him to let you do what you want and to trust you or leave him. Between what we talked about yesterday and this, he has some issues and its going to end badly for you if you don't fix this now

SolitaireBond · Answer

Sounds a bit of a control freak to me.. Tell him to mind his own bloody business, and that you'll eat only as and when you want to.

9mfeo · Answer

That is very odd, my love. Have you spoken to him about this?

Shaft50 · Answer

Eat when you want to and workout when you want to... just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he owns you

Nena_Linda18 · Answer

It sounds like he's trying to make you fat

cinderelli · Answer

Tell him you are not a toddler

Why does he worry what and when I eat?

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