You're not alone, trust me! It's difficult to work out why girls; oh sorry, ladies do this. Some do it because they like the attention, its a big ego boost for them, when they know you're interested; its job done, fall back, lets see if I can do it to someone else.
Some ladies are just naturally flirty, they don't recognise they do it until the guy shows interest back, then it's fall back, lie low and hope it blows over.
Some ladies enjoy the whole flirting game, it's a fun past time but forget the consequences of their actions, although a lady might like to flirt, she might not be ready for a relationship...at first flirting may seem harmless but in the future when there's a chance to get more then seductive eye contact they realise "I'm not ready for the next step."
Saying this, some girls don't like the flirting game either, they may even like a guy but afraid that a relationship (if went wrong) would spoil what they already have with the guy, not worth taking the risk.
Risk is an important factor here, because it may have something to do with you're approach rather then the lady. Are you getting too close too soon? Have you build any trust with the ladies in question? Do you say or show your love to a lady? Whatever the case, you need to do it with minimal risk to them. Ladies have a self defence mechanism which puts McAfee to shame, it's also better to show a lady you love them before you actually tell them, this way not only does it make it easier for you to tell her; by saying what great times you've both had together, it's a why for you to find out how the lady reacts to your show of affection.
Problems with your approach? Have you told them everything about you in the first few weeks, in which case the lady doesn't need to find out anything herself? No mystery for her, no reason for her to pursue. Moving too fast can be considered being 'desperate', I said this in another post but showing too much love before a relationship is considered creepy, but during a relationship is considered sweet. Think about it, if you hardly knew a lady who you knew was trying her all to get you to like her, first you'd want breathing space to ask yourself what you should do, then you'd want time to get to know her better before you make any decisions.
All the best in the future.
They pull back for a lot of reasons which makes it seem like its happening all the time. Some do just like the chase, they like to see if they can get a guy interested in them then they move on to the next one. They aren't really interested its just an ego thing. Some actually pull back because they really like you and are scared of being hurt. Its easier for them to date a guy they are only semi interested in as there is no fear of being hurt. Some pull back because you moved too fast and they didn't want anything serious. It takes a long time to really get to know someone! Some pull back because they have personal issues, lost their job, family problems etc they feel like they wouldn't make a good partner so prefer to keep it casual until they sort themselves out. The list goes on..
i think the problem isn't with the girls but with you :S
I only do that with people I was never interested in, in the first place, and when I realize they ARE interested.
I think you're either misreading friendliness as interest, or you're meeting a lot of girls who like to flirt and like getting attention but that's as far as it goes. or both.
i'd say everyone likes getting attention to a certain extent because it's an ego-boost, but I don't ever consciously flirt with guys I am not interested in.
ok, now that I think about it, perhaps with SOME, but those are the semi-interest ones, and it's only very light flirting. the ones I am 100% not interested in - I never ever flirt with. it's because in order to flirt with someone, I need some sort of attraction, or I can't do it to begin with. I am just normal and friendly with them. and I've found oftentimes, they are the ones that seem to think that talking as friends must mean more than... talking as friends.
so what exactly is it that makes you think they were interested originally? there is no clear-cut formula as people are different, but in general there are a few telling things that apply to most girls, not all of course.
It's because she wasn't very interested in you in the first place. Men need to understand that just because a women smiles at you or even gives you her number, it doesn't mean she is interested in you romantically. Most of the time women are just looking to be friends, and if that's the case, and you are looking for more, that is a good way to turn the woman off. Especially if you start texting or calling her everyday it gets very annoying. I am nice to everybody unless they give me a reason not to be, but it can be a double edge sword because men take that niceness as " OH she likes me like I like her" NO, that's not always true. Maybe you need to try and learn how to recognize upfront, if the girl is just flirting back because you are nice, or if she is really interested in you in more than a frienship kind of way. So it seems like your approach is off, and you are reading the wrong signals. If a girl is really into you, then she will not pull back later, she will become MORE interested in you, not LESS. She is pulling away because "SHE IS JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU!
The answer to this is simple. There is something that you are doing that turns her off.
I had a crush on a guy for 2 years! He and I finally got together and started dating (for a couple of weeks) ... First of all, most of the dates were dutch! Which I couldn't see myself doing LONG term. MEN PAY FOR DATES!
Also, he invited me to his place and although it was nice it was cluttered and smelled like dog! It wasn't the greatest part of town ... Then after I pulled back to think about what the FUTURE would be like... I was horrified!
I asked him if he'd ever want to move and he said "NO!" I just completely pulled away.
Then he started calling me and telling me that he thought he and I were getting past the getting to know each other point and were heading toward something more. That freaked me out even more. So much so, I found it desperate and creepy.
Basically, if a girl doesn't see a future with you, for whatever reason, she won't continue to see you!
You gotta make sure you are not batting out of your league dude.
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ok, for me, I have really low self-estem issues, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the first. When a guy starts to show interest in me, I usually get really shy and scared because I'm kind of in shock, esspecially if the guys cute or I like him, and I tend to feel like I'll mess it up or he'll find out I'm really not that great or I was just misunderstood him, and ill look the other way. I don't know if this helps. but I'm sorry.
you just probably have to be really persistant or find another girl. but I'm suprised so many girls are like this. wow. girls are confusing.
If this were me you were talking about, it would be because I might sense you're interested and if you're kind of cute, well, I might take interest too!
And when I'm interested, I get shy and nervous and don't know what to say. When I'm friendly and just really casual, that's how you can tell I'm not interested... its when I have trouble thinking of what to say and get kind of wide/doe-eyed and scared that you know I am interested. =P
So it might be that she is interested too but is just scared - that is, if she's a shy girl!
I can tell you that you are doing something to cause this effect. Sounds like you may be getting too involved too fast, smothering or clingy. Before you say, no that is not me, be honest with yourself and really look into how much effort you put into someone and how long had you known them. It can be really scary when you meet someone and they call too much, want to always be around, texting corny messages, etc. Women/Men will run the other direction when someone shows too much interest too fast. Think that may be the problem? If not tell me what you think it is cause all of them are running for a reason.
It does depend on the girl. I know that I have trust issues with guys and find it hard to open up to anyone. Actually, even with girls I find it hard to trust someone completely.
bit it depends on the girl. I feel like a lot of girls tend to over think the situations they are in and feel like everything is a bad choice. It is your job to make her feel like she's making the right choice and making her feel comfortable.
If she still questions how things will be, move on. She's not worth it, and you will find someone who actually feels good about being with you.
I'm thinking that you're making the move too fast. I know that for both sexes if you get too mushy fast, it makes you want to run away. However, if you were to make eye contact and pick up on the body language, you may find yourself finding a lot more women interested. DO NOT use some cheesy pick up lines. Some girls it works for, MOST just find it annoying.
Basically, what you need to get out of what I said is: eye contact is key(not the stalker type of eye contact), If a girl makes a lot of sneaky eye contact with you.. lol and give you a sly smile.. that mean they dig you.
I know what you mean. My only advice would be to not come on too strong and pretend like you don't care that much even if you do. I know from experience that it's extremely hard to do, but it's better than coming on too strong and scaring the girl away.
When I really like a girl I sometimes try too hard, and it never works. On the other hand, when I only marginally like a girl and barely pay attention to her, they always seem to be all over me. Keep in mind that you can't make a girl like you (a fact that was hard for me to come to terms with). With that being said, just play it cool and let it flow bro. That way if it doesn't work out, you weren't really sweating it anyway. And if it does work out you'll have the upper hand, and the girl won't be able to read you. It really drives then crazy, and that works to your benefit.
This has happened to me... ugh! Some of these women are just nutcases. I've had women follow me endlessly and when I finally came around (I'm pretty shy and get nervous around women I like) I get either "I'm in a relationship" or gibberish and a look of shock on their faces. All bogus and annoying!
These women don't really smile at me either - they stare. I look back they look the other way or down. At first it's cute as you can tell they got a bit of a crush on you but after awhile it gets frustrating.
You chase a guy around and when he says hello and asks you out on a date you're suddenly in a relationship? Bullsh*t!
And you wonder why you see really hot girls with guys who aren't so good looking... seems girls like to feel secure with a man they think they can control than worry about a guy they think will get attention from other women.
I have no Idea., When you find out let me know. However I have found something that works.
Though I may like the girl I try to keep my cool. Relax. Don't over think, I believe that is what happens the most and the worst to do, over think. Just go with it.
There is a threshold where the girl is into you and your into her. But before that, Keep it close. You will know the threshold because she will make the first move of sorts.
Case and point, the more interested you are in them the less interested they are in you. That is because who really really wants what is thrown at them. But everyone wants what they can't have.
Me too. I even had a girl who didn't respond when I asked her for a second date, then a few days later call up and acted all interested and asked when I wanted to go and when I gave her the day, she'll duck and disappear for a day then call and say she's busy that day. So I'd give her alternative days and she'd duck then reappear and say she's busy. Then make a joke about how it's not meant to be. Then she'd disappear for a while, reappear and ask me if I wanted to do something and the process repeats.
Oi. Women are rather like us, mate. If you weren't inerested in the girl, wot would you do.
You;d run the other way. they is simply not inerested. You's got to wait for the woman to come to you, when she smile, then you talk, and leave it at that for a couple of weeks. then little by little you make your move, but if you act like, you want to start shagging by tomorrow, its not going to work init?
Guys always get the bum rap, but to me girls can have extremely cold hearts. I've seen posts on here where girls have said they will date and flirt with a guy and then act appalled if the guys believe she's interested in him. One even stated she was creeped out when a guy she was dating sent her a text explaining his feelings for her. I mean, what? Are guys not allowed to have any feelings? I mean, what are we supposed to do? If the girl was creeped out by the guy, why did she even date him, or get in the car with him in the first place? What hypocrisy and what a silly and cruel game to play with someone. In a relationship, its always about the girls's feelings, and I completely understand that, but girls tend to forget that they are not the only ones in a relationship, dudes are human beings too with emotions and sometimes girls act is if they have no heart or soul at all.
Well sometimes its human nature to want someone that is busy it makes them think hey I want to be involved in this busy persons life !And sometimes when a girl sees a guy is very interested or clingy it can freak them out! So don't always be about the girl and she will call !I called and wanted my boyfriend more when he wasn't so all about me!It sucks but its only human nature and eventually it will pass and you will find a girl that wants the same attention!
I think it depends on the girl. I know some girls like the whole let's flirt and stuff, then pull away because their worried it will get serious or something. Good news, I don't believe a lot of girls are this way.
For me, it's lack of confidence. I start thinking "what if he doesn't like me?" and " what if I start showing interest back but he wasn't even flirting with me?" Sorry if that was slightly confusing and yes, I am completely aware it's pathetic but I guess it's because I did think this one guy liked me and ended up not. That's the only thing I can think of! I hope I helped a little.
A lot of girls are insecure and like to validate their sense of self-worth by flirting or otherwise attracting the attentions of male suitors. Unfortunately for the guys, there's really no interest involved in the actions... it's just some vain attempt to make themselves feel better. My advice would be to cut off relations with the girl or settle for the friendship zone.
1. they're not interested
2. nervous/confused/anxious...like you
3. most typical -play hard to get or pretend they don't like you all of the sudden because they felt like they've given too much of their attention to you...and need to balance it out. sudden shifts in attention are classic signs that she's interested.
Maybe they're not interested in you? I do that sometimes, like if a guy likes me and I don't like him I'll be sure to not give out any signs that I like him so he gets the hint. (Wow, that sounded kinda bitchy when I put it like that.)
sounds like they care about you and don't want to lead you on. when I find out a friend of mine likes me I tend to pull back, I don't want their feelings to escalate further, and I don't want that awkward moment.
it's horrible for sure.'happened' to me too. was on an aviation tour, a girl i met and knew as Ann would act i don't know how.i grabbed her number on the last day back to the city in the bus. 2 days went by.she texted me on a Monday.promised to see her.waited for so long always texting-4 weeks aprxmtely.i joked about a date.1 more call to her. she started going cold n could smell it.i haven't heard from her again.maybe 4 u, u made a mistake, wanted to gauge your interest, seemed too cheap for her or desperado.
Alright. The thing is.
Girls LOVE the wondering part of having a crush. Or being interested. The part where you're unsure. And then if you start to show interest too soon. They have to skip over that whole stage. And sometimes, it just happens wheather or not the girl wants to stop liking the guy or not. I'm sorry that it's happened to you a lot. But, don't give up hope.
It's because they're stupid bitches. It's the harsh reality.
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