I've lied to my boyfriend about something stupid and I need help!

[IdiotMcDuff]

OK... My boyfriend is the most amazing man on this planet and I've hurt him so badly.

I lied to him about going into work early. About why I wanted to go in early. I went into work early this day because I wanted to.. A colleague of mine had asked me on several occasions to get coffee with him before work. (LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR - There is nothing between myself and the colleague! - I have very few friends and at the time I thought that I was actually making a new friend)

So this happens and I lied about it.. I lied about why I went into work early and I lied about it afterward. I have lied about this thing and have finally come clean about it.

I know lying is wrong and I am not the kind of person who normally would lie. I feel that I have projected my fears onto him and in my head turned him into the person who my ex's are. I never meant to lie to him or hurt him I had a huge fear of being controlled and being put into a situation like I've been before.

I am now working on the trust I have broken and am hoping for some kind of advice as to what I can do to help him believe me again.

I have scared myself so much with this as I do not want to lose him.

Don't think I'm not sorry for what I've done because I am! I kick myself everyday for being so stupid.

I am not asking for a miracle cure just some help... I love him more than anybody or anything.

Please Help Me.

[AlexanderTheComposer]

You can't force him to love you if he doesn't, but if he does he will let you know. The best thing to do is not to bother him about how much you are sorry all the time, or try to talk to him more than you did before, this will push him away further because he will start to see you as needy/clingy and desperate for him not to leave you.

You have to give him space and the time to think about how he feels about you, at the same time you cannot neglect to offer him affection when you would normally do it before this event.

If you offer him too little affection for fear of seeming clingy, he will think you actually like someone else and are still not being honest, or that you don't have feelings anymore. If you offer him too much it will push him away because you'd be giving him less space than seemed comfortable and natural for both of you.

You want to make extra sure he knows that you love him without getting in his face or making him feel trapped or being pulled too hard.

Don't always talk about how much you are sorry, if he wants to talk about it do so, but don't make it the new center of discussion.

Finally, bring up and do things that you have done with him that he has enjoyed and loved to do with you, triggering happy memories and situations where you two shared a strong connection will help mend whatever damage you may have done. He will realize how much he loves you and how much he has enjoyed being with you and will realize you made a genuine mistake.

Good luck!

[KERMlT]

Just tell him why you did it like you told us. If he's an understanding guy... he will trust you more.

[GIntrovert]

You should be open and honest with everything...