Do I just go or should I wait?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (33) and I have been together for 4ish years and have been living together for almost a year.

We got into a fight the other day and he said he wanted to break up. After the fight calmed down and we were hugging and comforting each other. I asked him again if he actually wanted to break up, cuz I need to find arrangements to move and he said he doesn’t know, he wants time before making a choice like that. But all he does is play video games and watch YouTube when he’s not working, so I don't know when he has the time to give it actual thought. I feel stupid staying here when he doesn’t even know if he wants this relationship. I am fully committed to making it still work which is why I’m even waiting. Otherwise I would have just left and not allow myself to sit in this limbo where I’m on my toes on whether or not he wants a future or I have to move out.

Lately, I’ve been having a nagging feeling that he’s been hiding something, whether it be his true feelings for me (not actually loving me anymore in a romantic way) or if he’s hiding actions he’s done. Maybe it’s just anxiety from this whole ordeal, I don’t know. I’ve asked him and he said he’s hiding nothing, and that he does love, care and is attracted to me but he’s lied before and I caught him, so I wouldn’t put it past him to lie again.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you would feel uncertain and frustrated about your relationship, especially given your recent fight and your boyfriend's indecision about whether to break up.

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your concerns and to express your commitment to making the relationship work. However, it's also important to set boundaries and to prioritize your own well-being.

If you feel that you are in a limbo and that your boyfriend is not actively working towards a resolution, it may be necessary to consider your options for moving out or separating temporarily. This can give you the space and time to reflect on your own feelings and to consider what you want from the relationship.

If you have concerns about your boyfriend's honesty or trustworthiness, it's important to address them directly and to seek reassurance from him. However, it's also important to trust your own intuition and to prioritize your own emotional well-being.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what is best for your own well-being and to make choices that align with your values and priorities. It's important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist if you need help navigating this difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go. This is going nowhere.