My boyfriend likes when I cry?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my first serious relationship and we've been dating for about half a year. He's great, he's one of the nicest people I know and he's really outgoing. He's not afraid to say what he feels. He said I love you first, he says it constantly, and he also says tons of other romantic things. I've always been closed off, I don't like being vulnerable, and it's hard for me to express emotion. I'm very reserved. My boyfriend and I got into a fight (well i was the only one who was mad) and I asked for a break, and after I calmed down and spoke with him I changed my mind. The next day we were in bed discussing the incident and just thinking about it made me cry. I cried in his arms for about 10 minutes (it's not just one thing I've been very stressed) and he held me and wiped my tears. Afferwards he said "thank you for crying". I know that part of it is he likes me being vulnerable but he has on more than one occasion said he likes when I whimper, or fake cry. Is that weird?

[xDocilexFaeriex]

I don't think it is as weird as you believe it to be :) He probably likes to comfort you when you cry. He likes comforting you and "being protective and manly." If he can express emotion easily--that's good. Maybe he feels strange that he can express it easier than you? I know it isn't easy to show sadness--but if you can be vulnerable with him, your love might grow?

I have a hard time expressing vulnerability during sex in my current relationship because I got hurt pretty bad in my first relationship :'( My first boyfriend was so gentle... but he betrayed me and the trust. Now, if my boyfriend is too romantic, sexually I fear I might cry. As if I don't want to be reminded of the past :'(

Anyway, I think your boyfriend has good intentions when he likes seeing you cry. If you have been through a lot, learning how to be distant is normal. To open yourself back up might take time. Just know he loves you, but also know he should respect that you (do love him) but don't express it in the same way (however you express it)!!

I like "distant sex" because I fear normal sex will make me cry :( What kind of stuff do you cry about? Do you want to express your emotions easier? Does what he says (thanking you for crying) make you feel uncomfortable? How do you express love for him? Why did you want a break--do you still? :)

[Asker]

Yes he definitely has good intentions. I've never really had anything bad happen to me I'm just a naturally very shy and reserved person. Even with friends I am distant. It's weird because if I'm with other people it is hard for me to cry during a movie or sad event. But when I am alone I can cry over almost anything. I tell him that I love him but 90% of the time he says it first, prompting me to say it back. I wanted a break because he went to a kickback at 2 am with his friend to be a DD, and I felt very uneasy. I did not like the fact that I was at home in bed and that he was going to a random girl's house where the ratio was 10 women to 3 men. I had already been very stressed out that week due to finals and the pressure of my parents, and the last thing I needed was to have stress over my boyfriend. So I suggested a break might be in order until I feel less stressed. But he called me and talked on the phone with me for hours while he sat in the car waiting for his friend.

[xDocilexFaeriex]

Try to say I love you, first. I feel as if I don't say it first I don't mean it :o. Talking to you for hours is a good sign. If you do need a break, MAKE sure to tell him it is NOT a break up. If emotions don't come naturally for you, he should accept that.

[shinyunicorn]

I think you're missundersating the whole situation. I don't know the guy but it doesn't seem like he thanked you for crying because he likes it when you cry. crying is a very good thing because of many reasons, it benefits to your mood and reliefs your pressure. to me it just sounds like he really cares about you and he didn't like seeing you being so stressed, so he was happy to finally see you letting it all out. he sounds like an amazing boyfriend, I'm envious

[chrismarie5589]

I think it makes him feel protective and when he hugs you he's the only one who can make you feel better:)