Guy friend wants to bone me?

[pluckyduck]

One of my best friends that happen to be a guy wants to always be intimate with me. Yes, we have been intimate before. My problem is that he has a girlfriend and they have a daughter together. I'm not comfortable with him wanting me to be his fun on the side. He CLAIMS I'm more than that to him and that he plans to break things off with his girlfriend because he thinks I'm special and I'm marriage material. I want to believe him, but his actions or lack of actions are speaking louder. Why do guys do this? It just seems super selfish. Why can't guys just be single and play around OR be true and faithful to one girl? Yes, I would love to be with him as I have feelings for him too, but I don't want to be treated like a side option for someone's convenience because they aren't sure what they truly want. What do I even do about this?

[Tdieseler]

well... land him with the "well we will see" ultimatum. and im talking about his claim to leave his girlfriend... which i think is absolute bs.
either that, or OR do my favorite and friend zone him... Hard. Once he know that he will never ever be able to bone you... his true feelings about you will come out. cuz if he really likes you, he'll be happy to stay friends... if he doesn't.. well.. you'll know lol.
I prefer the second option. it cuts through the bullshit... the first one is just suspense... girls might like that because of their feelings... but fuck feelings for a second.. cuz optimism sometimes leads to putting people on the hook.

and the second one is mean too :) so i like it

[pluckyduck]

Lol. I like the second option, too!

[Tdieseler]

Great (mean) minds think alike lol

[GingerGuy]

He wants to have his cake and eat it to (he may not even realize it himself). He may very well "want" to break up with her, but will he actually do it is another thing? You are right with your thoughts/feelings. I would tell him, if and when he actually does break up with her, then and only then will you consider it. For the record, I don't think he's lying to you about any of this, his feelings for you etc, he's just afraid or reluctant to actually break up with the girlfriend and that could be for various reasons. But like you said, actions speak louder than words and he has to put up or shut up.

[pluckyduck]

Yeah, because we are so close I know a lot about his situation. Every time he has broken things off with her she uses the daughter as a pawn by threatening not seeing her and filing child support. I guess he wants me to be understanding because I know this, but I can't be anyone's side piece. He'll either figure it out or he won't.

[SummerNight]

Tell him if he respects and wants you also doesn't want his girlfriend that bad, then tell him to break it off with her then he can have you all he wants. If not you'll probably regret and get hurt by your best friend then he's really not a best friend.

[IEat70sBush]

Just tell him he gets in your pants after the break off, not before. It's silly to assume anything you have is forever as well since forever only exists in fairy tales. Even marriages don't last forever, they are just expensive versions of relationships since they include a legal contract. He'll probably dump you as well when another girl comes along at some point, marriage or not. Guys in general just like variety and just one girl beats none but in a perfect world we'd have a dozen.

[thisGUYknows]

You need to trust your instincts. I've been in the same situation. My gut is saying one thing, my brain and 2nd head is saying another. You already listed the reasons why you're hesitant. Go with them. And as a guy I can tell u that he wants you cuz he wants something different. Some guys feel locked down when they have a kid and they wanna explore. It's sad but it happens.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Oh he plans to break things off? Then tell him that (If you want to be with him), he needs to break things off FIRST and then he should make advances towards other women.

[saudiguy1]

"Yes, we have been intimate before. " That's where you fucked up. Things started off like that, and they will stay that way. Don't expect any change.

[Glen68]

if he leaves his girlfriend then go for it otherwise tell him you don't mess with guys who aren't single

[ManDudeBro]

I would refuse these things can cause damage to a child and when a girl he thinks is prettier comes along he May do the same thing

[Ryublack]

honestly I think he wants you as his side chick

[pluckyduck]

Yea. Me too. He got super offended when I said that to him.

[Ryublack]

can you message me so I can talk to you

[Arya_Christ]

tell him straight forward what you want.

[pluckyduck]

I have. He seems to want me to be patient. Just seems like he's trying to string me along to get his cake and eat it too. smh

[Arya_Christ]

tell him to back off until he breaks up with his girlfriend..

[pluckyduck]

Will do! Thanks!

[Arya_Christ]

welcome..

[Anonymous]

He just wants to use you.