Backup plan or second choice?

[rairai]

there s this guy i like and i told him frankly what i feel and everything and he said his life is a mess and he doesn t know what he wants from me (but kept playing with my feelings).
as i can see he hoped to get back with his ex... so basically i was th3 backup plan or the second choice.
so i took my time and i moved on and now that he saw me i m not interest3d anymore he said he wants me...
i tried telling him i don t want anything anymore because this is not the way it s gotta be... but he does not understand. help?

[looneymalooney]

hmmm, the similarities :)) Universe is a crazy place. You are like the female version of me going through the same things, but from a female perspective.
I asked something on one of your comments that you left here on GaG, because I went through something similar.

Now I see this question :)). Again something I went through.
I liked this girl and I noticed some interest, but when I picked it up and started to flirt, she would shell up. There was this guy and them two would always hand close together. They weren't together, but looked like it. So I figured out they had something going on, but fell apart and yet one of them was still trying I assume (never asked directly).

I already liked the girl before I realized these two were still hung up on each other. So I tried to ask the girl out, she avoided answering, which acts for a no.
I moved on, slowly let go. Did not hear from her for a while. Heard the other guy also moved on, then suddenly this girl contacts me and asks to hang out just the two of us.
I simply ignored her attempts afterwards.
He might have liked you, but not enough to make him let go of the past. Maybe he was scarred of letting go, it happens with these people. I assume she was his "love of his life" and he always thought they will always be forever and when it ended, he tried to make it work and lingered.
Now that she is gone, he desperately tries to grab onto you. Easily attached and clingy since he says "you made him fall in love and now you avoid him".
I would answer just to be polite, but would ignore all requests to hang out or see each other. Maybe say you have other plans. After a while he should stop asking.

[looneymalooney]

is this guy the same "bad timing guy?

[rairai]

thank you. i am sorry for the sharing almost the same situation. but it s life...

[Eddieniceboy]

He lost something that would have been really good. This guy is truly lost... ya know what I mean... L, He has something good right in front of him and he passed up on it. Let him know to be a man and man up to his lost and walk way and don't look back. He lost a good thing. And if he keeps on bugging you... I'm sure there a plenty of guys on here that will gladly back you up... to include this Seargent.

[rairai]

haha
thanks💖. muah

[Anonymous]

Stop talking to him for few days and watch his activities... May be he need someone like you for time being because he just broke up with his girlfriend... Just keep calm and let life go... If he rally wants you he ll wait for you

[rairai]

i stopped he initiates convos out of nowhere

[Opinion Owner]

Is he texting you everyday?

[Opinion Owner]

Don't trust him blindly and text

[rairai]

2 3 days. longer it took him 5 days but he asked my friend how was i instead

[Opinion Owner]

Leave it as such

[Opinion Owner]

Do you love him?

[rairai]

nope... it was more like a crush

[Opinion Owner]

Do you want to get into relationship?

[rairai]

no. no

[Opinion Owner]

Then move on with your life girl

[capturemyheartnow]

There is nothing wrong with back up plans. And having choices. Even with the girls you are not friendly wit , you can have back up plans to choose them , in case your 1st choices don't work. Having back up plans doesn't mean that you are cheating the others , but it means you have choices when things don't work out.

[rairai]

yeah. sounds great. but how would you feel if u were somebody else s second choice? and if things don t work out with his current one to have that attention channelized in your direction exactly in the moment you realize you deserve better?

[capturemyheartnow]

If I was somebody's second choice , and I was not getting sufficient attention and importance earlier , now , I will be more happier because my negotiation power has improved. It's purely a matter of demand and supply.

[lord_chilled]

Well, you need to shut him off and tell him its over.
Sucks to be option b. I think he really likes his ex, and wanted you when he was lonely. Now that you lost interest , he wants you again. Seems like the regular player...
there's a reason why his ex must have been his ex.
He may be that reason. He will justbtrybto see if he can get into your head, if you show even a bit of a chance, he will keep trying to get you. Be indifferent, and he will move on faster.

[rairai]

we r3 not together although he wants me. i know he s a player i told him he ll mov3 on way faster than h3 chos3 me 😂😂😂
i guess it sucks for him to know that i am not interest3d anymore 😈

[lord_chilled]

yeah, sucks for him.
he will get over it, when he finds his next target.

[rairai]

hopefully soon 😂😂😂

[lord_chilled]

lol yeah.
but then he will be a pain in the ass for someone else..

[rairai]

:))) can t wait

[rairai]

he ll move to make her 2nd choice and follow me around i think

[lord_chilled]

lol, i guess it will just keep going on like that.

[rairai]

:)) that s what i m afraid of

[lord_chilled]

dont worry too much about it

[Donnie_tomorrow]

Do not feel like you're a backup. It does not matter how amazing you might be, you just can't compare to what he has shared in the past with someone else. Let's give him credit, for not giving up easy on something/someone he has deemed important in his life. He could like you more as a person, but you would never had his full attention, if he was stuck thinking what could have been with someone else.

[JackMason]

Tell him simply and clearly that you are not interested anymore, he missed his chance.
Its pretty common and decent to not want to start a new relationship if your not over an ex though, I expect its just bad timing. Bad luck to him.

[rairai]

yeah. bad timing is a bithc

[Breadwinner]

Listen you aren't his "back up plan" what you really were to him was his "side chick" he tried to handle talking and saying the same shit to you and many other women but you weren't having it. He just wants you as a booty call... he came back with that I want you shit cause he knew he was losing you and thought that it would keep you from leaving... leave that nigga alone

[l00king4l0ve]

definitely either cut off all contact or if you have told him flat out that it's never going to happen.

[rairai]

i told him but he doens t stop

[l00king4l0ve]

then, I would just ignore him completely. be rude if you have to. but if he calls you, don't pick up. if he texts you don't answer. if he talks to you in person ignore him or be rude or tell him to go away. if it persists considering going to the police for stalking? or would it be harassment? either way consult someone in law enforcement. a girl had a thing for me a while back and I told her the same thing, leave me alone, I don't want to talk to toy anymore etc. it took a WHILE like over a year but envtually it worked.

[l00king4l0ve]

also, is that you in your pic? or did you just grab a pic off someone's instagram?

[rairai]

it s my pic :)

[l00king4l0ve]

girl! you are gorgeous!! I mean you probably know this. and you clearly work out, but dang! < sorry if that was rude. I'm bad at this lol. but you ARE gorgeous!

[l00king4l0ve]

best of luck with your guy problem if you need anymore advice, hit me up!

[rairai]

hehe. i do love sports. thanks 😘

[realperson02]

that sucks. tell him that he missed the chance and he should not bother you since it will be worthless.

[rairai]

he annoys me. he said * i made him love me and now i abandoned him* 😎😂😉

[realperson02]

he's giving you bs. just throw it out of the window. there is a reason why the quote "action speaks louder than words " exist. his actions didn't match what he said as per your description in the question.
you can do a lot better 😙😘

[rairai]

💖💖💖🙄

[realperson02]

👍👍💖

[LordBaeron]

he saw you losing attention and moving on, so now he tries to pull you back in. cut contact and move on.

[advaj98]

you shouldn't need to be a plan b because all women deserve everything they desire because women are way stronger then men could ever be

[ccal28]

you deserve more than being a backup plan for someone

[rairai]

thanks bby 😘

[ccal28]

anytime <3

[Arya_Christ]

tell him to move on.. you are right.. he is an ass.. you should not listen to him..

[rairai]

i am not but he keeps on bugging me whenever his around

[Arya_Christ]

he can be a creeper so you should make sure he stops that.. be strict if necessary.. be safe..

[rairai]

yup
i will
thanks 💖😍

[rockstar767]

you wouldn't be my backup plan. you're gorgeous. ;)

[rairai]

hehe. muah😘

[rockstar767]

follow me

[nickh1100]

You're to stunning to be a back up plan. You'll be my first choice.

[Decentguy]

you were his back up plan
dump his stupid ass

[rairai]

we re not together. we won t be. he doesnot understand. i told him straight we re never gonna be a thing because it s the best way.

[Decentguy]

then let him be. and next time be aggressive and angry towards him if he tries to get back with you

[rairai]

will do. thanks 😈

[Decentguy]

No Problemoo ;)

[miracle9k]

abort mission I repeat abort mission

[rairai]

:)))) houston we do have a problem

[miracle9k]

Houston getcha ass away from that guy 😂😂 he ain't good for you

[rairai]

ass safe at home 😂😂😂

[Glen68]

he was definitely keeping you as a backup.

[Pizzalover101]

Tell him dude were over an move on

[John_Doesnt]

It's a backup plan.