What if you like a girl but she's a slow/boring texter, is that a BIG turn off?

[Anonymous]

Like when you see each other you guys have this amazing chemistry and you're really attracted to each other. But whenever you text, the conversation gets dry and boring

[PeterCh]

nah, this isn't even a small problem in my book. Texting sucks and not everyone can be good at it. And most importantly texting is not the primary form of communication for couples or at least it shouldn't be. Now if it's a long distance relationship we're talking about, that's another story.

[Asker]

Not at all a long distance relationship :) he likes me, we already talked about it, but he also thinks I'm too "four-square" and I just don't want him to see me as this boring girl lol in my defense he's a slow texter too

[MrOracle]

I think relationships need to happen F2F as much as possible, and I try to limit texting to quick, simple questions if at all possible. I would make an effort to try to see her F2F as much as I could, and not worry much about her texting.

[Asker]

I also prefer face to face conversations and I'm actually more natural and relaxed when I'm actually with him

[emerald77]

It is.

[mikemx55]

yes, this is a big huge massive humongous problem.

It breaks flow. Can't follow a funny conversation. Never initiates anything and makes you feel that you're bothering her all the time, because you put effort and you see nothing from the other side other than total desinterest.
Some times it's just lack of skills to continue a conversation, but it doesn't make it less bad.

[SteppingOnRoses]

sometimes you have to put up with it

just sayin XD

depends on the days

[mikemx55]

@SteppingOnRoses no comments

[Asker]

I agree with you it breaks the flow, but it's not like I never initiate anything. I do text him from time to time but then I get so nervous and rigid I don't know why. In my defense he's a slow texter too lol

[mikemx55]

ah loool
One thing to break the ice, is to simply state your fears. Like... if you want to text, but you don't know what to say... say exactly that. Say what's on your mind. It doesn't get any truer than that.

[Asker]

@SteppingOnRoses haha I wish he'll put up with ME, apparently I'm too four-square and rigid around him

[mikemx55]

there are always tones of stuff to talk about. our lives are always interesting. It's just that sometimes we forget about the little things, the little stories that we take as granted and just say that nothing happens in our lives, or that there are no stories to tell..

There is always something to tell.

[Asker]

@mikemx55 :) thanks that's pretty good advice

[mikemx55]

want something to talk about? Movies, books, colleagues (not gossip, that's offputting), friends, past experiences, highschool, university, a funny tv commercial, a vacation you did, a new language you learnt a new person you've met.
From any of these, you can build up tons of conversations, about places, people, descriptions, and always make a connection to the other person. Don't make it about you, make it about sharing, and always seek the opportunity to ask the other something related to the movie, the actors, the landscape, their highschool, have they ever had a friend that did this or that?
vacations, hollidays, beach...

Another key thing for people like you both, is to keep a list of questions to ask in boring times.
When you remember something but can't talk, you should write it down for the future, to not let the conversation die It's also a good idea not to take all these points and waste them all in a fun night... then you'll be out of it again. Phase them out ;D happy chats

[Asker]

that's awsome thanks man. As I told someone in the comments here.. I'm only a bad texter with HIM.. I'm actually really fun around literally everyone, but with him I feel the need to think about what I should or should not say. It's extremely frustrating

[mikemx55]

That is because you don't feel totally comfortable with him. You are afraid (maybe subconsciously) of being misjudged, or are thinking about how he will perceive everything you say. It's hard to loosen up, maybe you don't have much in common, and he also feels the same. Feels he can't talk about everything he wished, or fears to put out some opinions.

Maybe you're both trying to be politically correct with each other... just be goofy, it's the best way to go about it

[Asker]

We used to be close, but feelings and circumstances got in the way of it all...

[mikemx55]

was suspecting something like that that would prevent you both from talking freely.
I thought you were both in a relationship already though, or walking into one.

[mikemx55]

may be hard if he's not into it :\

[Asker]

We're not together. Let's just say that we have a long complicated history haha how cheesy right?

[mikemx55]

then my advice isn't so great, since you probably already know all about each other...
I thought it was like a new thing while you're both getting to know each other

[Asker]

No your advice was really good actually! I just shouldn't worry too much ☺

[asp123]

1st i hate texting and i suck at it, especially when it comes to texting girls
2nd id try to talk on the phone or facetime, whenever a girl asks me that i always say yes, due to the fact that i've lost countless girls over text simply because i suck at it
3rd if text is the only thing you want to do try deep questions which require thinking and gathering each other's opinions

[WolfieRoze]

It makes it a harder chase. I'm already shy enough and dont say much. So if she did that I would give up easily

[Truthatanycost]

You are missing out on some major tension building. The texting can create much more tension in between meeting up that a person could go crazy... both of your loss.

[lonelyaf]

yea its like a cockblock or whatever its boring and most of the time i wouldn't message her again

[Asker]

Even if you liked her and you had a history together?

[lonelyaf]

its pretty uncommon if she's boring and i can't have a normal conversation we wouldn't have any history. but if so I don't know like if ur texts is like " wyd , nothin wbu " and stuff its pretty obvious that its not interesting.

[Asker]

yes 'uncommon' is a pretty good wording for the situation :) when we're together it's awsome, but when we text, it takes forever for him to reply, sometimes it's me who takes time to respond then I lose interest in the conversation even though I like him a lot

[lonelyaf]

oh i thought u just conversate boringly. Well if so it might mean he's busy or whatever and I don't know u should see him more often instead of texting if thats possible. If not u shluld talk with him about this mess

[Asker]

:) yes I should see him more often, thanks

[IwanderIwonder]

I'm alright with her being a slow texter, but I definitely can't tolerate boring. I tend to just be honest and let her/them know I'm (getting) bored

[meatballs21]

I dated a girl like this. No texts between dates, really, except confirming what the next date was. But on the dates she was all over me. It took a little getting used to but it was fine.

[Kylesar]

I'm actually used to it
Most my conversations end with "K," "Cool," or some other crap like that

I just don't text her, or when I do, it ends with that single-word text that I can't really say anything to

[Anonymous]

im not fan of texting, better physical connection so no problem to me

[Asker]

I know right? and I'm only a bad texter with HIM... the person that I like the most. It's really frustrating

[Opinion Owner]

the ones who are good at texting always fail in relationship. in past it was better when there was no communication like texts, everyone had their free time and had more love to each other.

[Asker]

I agree

[JuanFrank7]

I'm a slow texter I prefer actual interaction or a phone call whenever I want to make a point

[8string]

text to make plans converse irl. I really only hate it when girls flake on plans over text more than anything. we dont want to text you honestly. Its much nicer to see your face when we talk to you.

[Anonymous]

That is good since I don't text. I only call and talk.

[MatsubuS]

Hard to tell, probably wouldn't mind it

[NaultD]

Try talking on the phone

[alexandremp]

yes..

[Asker]

:/ it's such shame

[alexandremp]

just dont text

[Asker]

maybe text less and see each other more

[alexandremp]

yes!! being together is the best

[mikemx55]

if you can't figure out what to say when you have time to think... it'll only be worse when you're together, because your reactions need to be instant, you don't have the same time to think, you can't type and erase, and you don't have emojis to reflect your state of mind.

You actually have to express yourself and react in the moment, that is much harder than texting.

[Asker]

@mikemx55 which is why it's paradoxical. I'm so much more confortable when I'm actually with him

[Anony123--__--]

No not really

[Trevox]

I would think she lost interest, really :-(