So let me start off by saying, if you won't cook and clean, then what will you do? Is important in a marriege to both have complementary roles and actions. If je works and brings money to the table, what do you bring? Sex is not enough. Also both of you working is a bad idea since that will result in both of you seeing each other less and less so I don't recomend it unless you work in the same building and you are co workers or team mates or whatever. If he doesn't believe in traditionalism that is fine, have you considered him staying to cook and clean and you working? It is important that both individuals do something otherwise one will be the slave and the other the king/queen and that is not good. So many men in this generation avoid merriages for this reason. They avoid it because they still work and do their part, but women don't do theirs anymore while still demanding men do theirs. Also there are the obvious problems with matriege (cost of marriege, emtional changes after a marriage, the risks of divorce which for men are extremly high but for women are actually pluses, marriages tend to make people more comfortable with one another and the "spark tends to wash off" , etc). My advice for him would be to learn to cook and clean since these are important life skills and that way he won't be dependent on you (dependency can be a huge relationship destroyer) and then I recomend you to either do this, or bring something to the table. If not cooking and cleaning, then what? I jope this helps
I would suggest dumping him. Sounds like somebody looking for a caretaker/meal ticket.
He sounds too lazy to even stick around. Things will get old for you rather quickly (if they haven't already) with his lazy bum sitting around watching you do all the work! That kind of "relationship" doesn't quite sound normal to me; I wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with any guy like that in the first place!!
If he doesn't agree to take it 50/50 then he's not worth it girl! If you learn to cook, so does he, and you guys take turns every day! If he doesn't agree to that then he's really just not gonna work out with you. If marriage is going to work out you better see eachother as equals
I would suggest that you get a new boyfriend because what you currently have is a leech who intends for you to cook and clean up after him after a long day of you working like a mother to a child and im very sorry but you would be miserable why are you accepting that
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Simple answer:
Does he intend to offer you something of equal value?
Marriage, or any relationship, is give and take. Hopefully with a fair 50/50, right?
So, of what he wants, his "take," your 50 of the deal, is that, then what is his "give?" His 50?
It is not that there is anything wrong, or even sexist, about "traditional roles." It is if he expects those things, without offering YOU something in return.
So if he merely expects you to do those things without him taking on tasks that give you equivalent benefit, than... well, he is being unfair, and that's a problem.
But if he intends to offer something back that takes roughly equivlient time or effort, or that leaves you feeling he carries his half of the burden in a relationship?
Then there isn't a problem.
im gonna be honest here and it may come off harsh, but your boyfriend is a total piece of sh! t. if he expects you to clean and make him food because you're a girl and "girls are supposed to do that", then why can't he pay for meals and things when you two go out since "guys are supposed to do that"? it makes no sense...
plus, cleaning is something you should know how to do at a very young age. it's simple, put things back where you got them and throw or give away things that you really don't need
and if he'll just do things to benefit himself and not you or the both of you, please end the relationship. he doesn't seem like a good guy and this to me comes off as a huge red flag
EVERY adult - male or female - should know how to cook and clean and both should expect to do plenty of both in their lifetimes. Expecting a partner to know now to do those things isn't at all unreasonable.
The division of labor and financial responsibility, however, is a completely different issue. By your description, he isn't very realistic, and that is likely to lead to huge problems for your relationship, so you might want to reconsider staying with someone you have such a huge incompatibility with.
Ok so not to be rude but he sounds dumb.
First off, if he wants to share a dinner bill fine even take turns paying every other time out, but expecting his girl to take care of him is BS.
You should be capable of cooking and cleaning it isn't just to make a man happy but it is better for you as a person.
I can cook , clean, sew, and farm, carve wood.
We should all have some complimentary skills for life.
Tell him to learn to cook and clean and then so will you.
But even if you guys dont last you should catch up on some basic life skills, it will make you more attractive but also boost your own personal confidence and capabilities.
Good luck.
Well I would tell the idiot to learn how to cook and clean for himself or at least give you a helping hand... and maybe also tell him to keep his thoughts to himself.. or go find someone else to cook and clean for him.. he had no right to say that to ya.. there are many guys out there like him.. take care hope all works out for ya down the road
Dump this selfish asshole. My wife does all the cooking and house cleaning because she does not have an outside job. I clean up the dinner dishes. On the weekends we cook together. If she was working then I would cook with her every night and we would hire a maid.
Lol I would have catched an bad attitude really fast.
I was once on a Date with a guy who told me we could go to his place but I would need to clean for him and then cook cause I'm the woman, first he never said that shit again and secondly he actually never got to go on a Date again, I did immediately cut him off
Tell him when he actually leans to how cook, clean, and pay then he can start making demands or better yet leave. But anyways, cooking is somewhat understandably, a lot people are chefs in the kitchen but cleaning is pretty simple and easy for him to do as well.
Fair play to him for knowing what he wants but what do you want. Do you want to spend your life cooking, cleaning and other traditional womens chores while he does nothing and doesn't perform male traditional chores? You should learn to cook but not for this guy.
Leave the loser. How is this hard?
If he can't be your partner, he's not much use. It's one thing to agree on what each of you will do in your partnership, it's another to make demands, and if you don't like his demands, there's no point in staying with him. You'll find someone else.
he sounds like an idiot. he just wants you to do everything. he's a hyprocrite and wants everything to be his way, and he makes YOU pay? that's just not right. leave that loser.
Well if he expects from you close to perfection or perfection you can answer him, excuse you are you a doctor? If I clean and cook and you are a jerk enough to rufuse helping you better bring lots of food to the table and a big house.
Perfection for perfection
I'd say everyone should know how to cook and clean. I wouldn't want to marry a man who can do it either. Welcome in 2017.
Girl lmao. So he wants YOU to be super-feminista and pay for meals occasionally. But he won’t learn how to cook? Cooking and cleaning is a BASIC skill for an adult male or female. If he is relying on you for that, then he’s trash
You should learn how to cook and clean but for YOURSELF not for some rude hypocritical guy. Say it right back to him and tell him you won't marry him unless he knows how to cook and clean hahaha
A question: why go out of your way for him if he doesn't do the same. A relationship is for the benefit of both not of the one. It's your choice what you do with the situation but he doesn't seem to be worth it.
Tell him since you are the primary provider you expect him to cook and clean. That you'll even pay for the classes for him to learn cuz that's how much you care.
The cook and clean thing is just him being an ass and vary hypocritical especially if he doesn't believe in paying for you it's either you take both or none not go in the middle wherever it is good for just you. But personally I believe the checks be split but I also know how to cook and clean
Run.
Double standards. Seems like he wants someone to do everything for him. Its ridiculous to expect qualities in your partner that you don't possess yourself.
Tell him "he needs to learn how to keep you happy". Sounds like he's 100% all about him... do you really want a future with someone like that?
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