Settling down with a nice guy?

[Anonymous]

Lets face it, most girls have a bad boy phase. They date these guys and have their fun, and completely ignore the "Nice guys" that get stuck in the friend zone, until they are ready to settle down after they have had their fun.

I guess my question is, what kind of mentality do girls have when they think its just OK to do this? Nice guys are generally used by girls earlier in life, and when they suddenly start getting noticed by girls, how do you think they feel?

Nice guys are still guys. Personally, I hate knowing that girls that are now becoming attracted to me, would have been the same girls to just use me like a therapist a few years ago.

Do other you other nice guys understand where I'm coming from? And do the girls who fit this situation at least understand what they are doing?

[Anonymous]

nice guys and nice girls kinda go through the same thing. I always wondered why nice guys don't just hook up with nice girls, be happy and have some nice kids together lol.

girls who are about having fun and being self centered just want a their male counterpart. you are not focusing on nice girls. girls who go after bad boys are usually bad girls to some degree themselves.

me personally I am 21 years old, right now I want to have fun, do my thing and experiment and live my life to the fullest before settling down. a guy can't be used unless he allows himself to be (same goes for girls). so nice guys need to start taking more responsibility for themselves and not get wrapped around a pretty girls finger so easily. you are letting girls use you as a therapist, nobody is putting a gun to your head and making you be so available all the time. I really don't know how they feel that is not my problem.

[Asker]

A guy always wants to hang out with you, helps you when your sad, does nice things for you, compliments you, ext ext. And you say you don't know he likes you?

How many guys do you honestly know that do this for girls just because they want to? Girls need to realize that if a guy is doing this kinda stuff, HE LIKES YOU.

[alltheabove1212]

I help out girls I'm not interested in. I just do it because I know they would and have done the same for me.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok well who's making hi m do that? if he likes me then he should either man up and ASK ME OUT like other guys have no problem doing or move on to someone who reciprocates those feelings back

[Asker]

They do, and you respond by saying your "just friends"

[Opinion Owner]

Ok we are just friends because I don't like you like that. so if you stick around that's your choice, no one to blame but yourself

[Anonymous]

I never got into bad boys, I've always wanted a nice moral man, who treats others with respect, but doesn't let people walk all over him.

[Anonymous]

> I guess my question is, what kind of mentality do girls have when they think its just OK to do this?

It's OK to do because they nice guys you mention allow it. If you behave like a doormat, people step on you. Why should they respect you if you don't even respect yourself?

[Asker]

I don't think its a lack of self respect. Most people I know in this situation have a lot of self respect and just don't know how to go about it right. Most people in this situation probably just feel like being nice makes sense for trying to date the person.

[Opinion Owner]

I am aware of all that. I've done the nice-guy crap myself. I know what it's like. But when you act like that you are perceived as weak and lacking in self-respect. And being perceived as something is exactly the same as being something when it comes to how others act towards you. At some point you have to realize that being nice is being perceived as being submissive, and that's why being 'nice guy'-nice to people you're dating makes no sense at all.