When girls post a lot on social media, do they come off as needy or seeking validation?

[Anonymous]

[CubsterShura]

I upload a lot of selfies. Not anything else cause I suck at photography and just can't keep up with an aesthetic feed. 😂 I like makeup and fashion so many of my pics are me in cute dresses, taken in bright natural lighting. I barely edit/filter my pictures. My feed is all about just a typical girl who loves dressing up. 👗👜👟💄👒 I love to upload pictures that highlight a particular accessory or just the dress.

I never thought of my purpose of uploading my pics so deeply. I wear loose modest clothes. I remain very careful so my body shape or excess skin isn't showing. If I wanted validation from others I could have uploaded the mirror selfies that I take when I'm at the gym and get tons of comments about my legs and booty. I could have uploaded pics of me in yoga poses but I prefer not to display my body. 😂🍑

Isn't it literally the point of using Instagram, getting more followers and likes? It is not something that is my top priority, but it is something that I just enjoy!

I'm a loner in school. Almost no friends, mostly sitting alone reading a book. I know social media won't change my sociability in real life. So I don't seek anything of that sort.

One more thing that I didn't expect was having my insecurities decreased. I barely edit my pictures, so in my no-makeup pictures I have my acne and vitiligo showing. Yet I get a lot of likes and comments on them and it made me realize that people don't care about the things that concern me the most. You might be saying that I actually asked for validation by my pics, but I got it without asking for it, and I'm honestly grateful. Editing is unnecessary.

So really, don't sweat your head off for why people upload selfies so much. Some of us simply enjoy it for no particular reason or purpose.

[courtney06]

Seeing all the comments here from guy's perspective, this is exactly why I avoided posting too many selfies for a long time. I used to post a lot of selfies and then stopped for a few years because I was so afraid of people thinking I was full of myself, coming off as insecure, or have nothing better to do other than seek attention. However, I recently learned that it's okay to love attention while also learning to love yourself! We're human beings, it feels good be noticed and receive compliments! If someone thinks I'm insecure just because I have a few selfies... oh well... people are gonna think what they want. Honestly, everyone has insecurities. I try not to overdo it though, there are some people who only and always post selfies and I personally find that annoying.

I like to add some variety to my photos so I'll have scenery photos, pictures of themselves taken by others, pictures with friends, a few selfies here and there, cat photos, quotes, etc.

[yodaiam]

Try to get noticed for who you are. Not why you look like. You have more value to add to the world thn posting up selfies and such. Those guys giving you attention will never care about you and when they get bored of you... I promise they will... they just find someone new and younger and better (there always is).

[splashofyellow]

I don't think this is limited to women. Posting a lot on social media is a clear sign of needing attention. But we all crave attention. Most of us, at least. I wouldn't completely condemn that as stupid. I've read about a study that found getting those likes and comments to reduce stress hormones and increase oxytocin levels. Apparently our brain can't tell the difference between "real" and virtual interactions.

What comes to pictures, though, that I've never understood. Most people look exactly the same in all of their pictures. What's the point of posting pictures with little variation over and over again? Maybe they've just figured out it's the best way to get likes.

[lumos]

On facebook, yes. But not on instagram for example, because I consider insta to be a platform where it’s pretty normal to post things almost daily. Facebook, not so much. At least not for the people around me. The norm seems to be to update like once a month, if even that lol. So if someone was spamming on facebook, I’d probably be like ”geez calm down”.
I guess it sort of also depends on what you post. If 99% of your content is just selfies and cringy poses, then I’d be thinking it’s for validation. But if you post a lot about other things, then it’s fine to have the occasional selfie.
I think this applies to anyone though, and not just girls.

[That-Guy]

Well.. yes but i don't think it's as negative as others make it out to be.

Attention WHORE, Why Do you seek so many people's APPROVAL? Fucking dumb bitch, get a brain.

- Alright.. lets crank it back a second. Who doesn't like attention, compliments and people interested in YOU.
-- Okay, sure.. there are outliers however... if i made a post and all of a sudden i got all sorts of positive attention and re-enforcement... i'd probably continue my behavior because it makes me feel good.. I then develop a taste or routine in this activity. Why not? am i hurting anyone? will my need for this attention/validation stop? Maybe... but i can't say that if i ever feel down and simply posting a picture lead to 50+ women complimenting my looks or whatever the heck? shit.. i'd probably be doing the same.

but.. i am a guy, and like most guys.. nothing happens for us. Only women way older who know "it's safe to compliment him because he won't harass me" as we know.. women complimenting a guy = him stalking her (jk).

Anyways.. i get how the behavior starts and hard to stop but.. on social media.. if you are just some chicks i friended because you are attractive and you want to whore out.. go nuts.

[i1T2daty]

Whoever that pic is doesn’t come off. As anything besides a) scorching, arousingly hot and b);someone who I would use everything in my bag of tricks to go home with. m

Needy is when your own self esteem, tastes in music, fashion, politics, spiritual persuasion is adapted to that of the other party in order to stay relevant to him/her. If your senseless f self worth is srong enough to stay individualized regardless of what group or person you are with.

A huge quandary for men is this: they are attracted to you as a person who is mysterious and new. If they reach the stage where they think you are “theirs”, they often try to make you have the same opinions about subjects that they have. Many people succumb to this consciously or not. All of a sudden you are not an exotic, mysterious, other that he is trying to seduce but almost a copy of him in every way except anatomically. This may lead to long term security but it also is the nd of the button popping, pan tie ripping need for see, anywhere anytime and the beginning of that passionately seductive phrase, “honey, do you want to fool around”

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yes... attention whoring is the thought that comes to mind. Those thirst trap pictures along with a quote of something mundane that has nothing to do with why so many guys are hitting the like button.

It has a kind of pathetic look when it's your sisters are doing it. Only one of my sisters was doing it in a way that made money (fitness model), which seemed a bit more dignified... until she pitched her protein whatever powders to me trying to make a sale.

I eat eggs and drink milk. Don't have time for powders.

[lightraid51s]

It's an awful cancerous mind set to be in, to think only about yourself. Literally spending hours taking images of yourself then spending the rest of the time thinking where you can take your next photo. People filming themselves adjusting their hair, filming themselves singing into the camera. It's a condition called narcissism. These people feel worthless without a constant flow of likes and comments and followers. This gives them social standing as popular but without this they literally are worthless people. They become sex objects and the older they get the more their looks fade, the more desperate they become so in comes the surgery. It's a disease.

[PasticheGrizzly]

I get what you’re saying but I don’t think that’s what they meant..

[Shybabe33]

Right it is quite disturbing.
My instagram full of hiking and traveling pictures.

[VaIiant]

@Shybabe33 haha, yeah. Seems this guy had some stuff to work out in a rant I guess...

[Jaximus-Lion]

Bad parenting, this is simple because every single person need some attention in different phases, the parent attention is most important because that's all the morals and respect comes from and where if the parents are ignorant and respectless guess how their kids turn out? The seek attention from other people and now it is very easy to get attention on media and that's where they get the good feeling, people like me, they write good things to me and how attractive i am and so on. It's all about attention (my opinion)

[BrittBratt2416]

Guy think this way but honestly some people just like taking pictures. It's a hobby, kinda like how guys like to sit around and play video games.. some girls just like to take pictures. It doesn't necessarily mean that girl is needy or seeking validation, it's just joining in on what others do. Like tumblr, I post pictures/story but it's within the gaming community. I like doing this cause it's with others who have the same interest/hobby.

[Crystal6286]

Totally agree

[djmzes]

Maybe but in general it is not. Cuz each like u get on ur pic is a shot if dopamine in ur head.

[BrittBratt2416]

@djmzes um anybody gets a shot of dopamine then when someone shows them approval or support dude.

[djmzes]

True but dopamine is addictive. And again you should not be in need of validation from other people.
ThatI means. If you get likes you know you are pretty and wanted and if you do not mean you are not

[BrittBratt2416]

@djmzes everyone seeks validation at some point my man, it's what humans do. people want to know if they are liked/ accepted by people or society. If that's the case then youtube, online dating sites are nothing but places for validation cause people want others to enjoy their content or accept them as potential partner.

[BrittBratt2416]

Also I'm not into taking pics of myself if that's what you're thinking.

[djmzes]

But the question to ask is it right and if so to what extend.
How much does ur parent or real friends words weight against the hundreds of likes from nearly unknown people. Those likes are based on looks and good positive looks.

I always talk in general and what the majority does. And it is majority that drives society.

[IcyLemonade]

Partly, yes. They come off as self absorbed and a bit needy. I don't understand why people feel the need to document every detail of their life. I stopped going on social media for that very reason. I dont care.

And honestly I will never take fb rants seriously. The amount of grammatical errors on social media and just plain old media regurgitations is enough to make me sick.

[Sweetbunny]

You're on point.

[Bananaman177]

Yes, absolutely.

I automatically assume that the more active a girl is on social media, the more she's likely to cheat in relationships, and downvote me all you want ladies, but most men feel the same way. If you're wondering why men treat you like a hook-up instead of a girlfriend, well now you know.

[Blankz]

Took the words out of my mouth

[VaIiant]

@Bananaman177 Preach. I personally hate it when other women are trying to imitate waterfowl with their lips... or turn the phone at a solid 90 degree angle to get their “best side” after using 149921 filters. Sorry, if you need filters and angles instead of a smile, you don’t have a best side.
But yeah, it’s ridiculous... besides catching up with friends I never understood the point of social media.

[Alice2398]

Hell yes! especially when they say things like "had a really bad day today😞" and someone replies by saying "what's wrong" and the say "don't want to talk about it" , it's like they don't realise no one cares and everyone else has problems too but keep it off social media because they don't need people who are practically stranger's for validation and attention to make them feel special and over feed their ego. It's very sad when you think about it and we should feel sorry for them really.

[freakyzeaky]

If it is mostly selfies and live videos, then yes. If they are legit images of her travels, with her friends, at parties, at social events, concerts... basically pics of experiences, then that is fine.

I also know some chicks who constantly post motivational and "sassy" quotes, and that gets annoying too.

[Pinay_ako]

Can it be they just want to post whatever tf they want without being questioned what their motives are? lol Unless they post almost naked pics of them all the time and posting about their drama online then yes that's needy and screaming for attention. thirsty

[Car_lover18]

100% Agreed

[Shortie75]

I have this lady on Facebook who will regularly change her profile pic. One minute it’s of her kids then low and behold it’s of her giving the trout pout. She does this several times a month. After a while it’s grated on me. Difinetly seeking validation

[estoydorado1]

Depends on what they post. If they post almost completely naked or a really expensive flashy lifestyle (although people who know them know that they're broke and struggling) it gives the impression that they're fronting for a bunch of strangers "on the gram".

[amarahorrorstory]

I don't really give a fuck honestly and you shouldn't either. Post what you want. I get so tired of seeing people trying to diagnose a girl through the internet just for posting a picture of herself, meanwhile their page is blank. If they think lowly of you for that, you can discard their opinions.

[itsjustlife75]

They're probably just trying to keep up and I guess it depends on the post. If it's something like in a club or all dressed up then yes it's for validation - they wanna see how many likes they can get and who likes it. If it's something like pictures with family, sunset, dogs etc it's generally just because they like the picture/what they see and either just wanna share it or think it'll make a good post. But most of the time they just like the picture.

[Compodulator]

Depends on the content. Is it lewd selfies? Yeah, drop that and run.
Is it just random life moments, like, say, a foodie that takes fifty photos of the recent roast beef they had two hours ago? Somewhat irritating but not unreasonable.
Personally, I don't think I could tolerate a food, but I also never tried either.
Is it venting? Meh, not unreasonable.

[atishsar]

Few months ago when I had IG account I was just like those girls, but I deleted it to distance myself from a thing that had few advantages for me but took a lot of time
The reason I posted many stories and posts was loneliness and forgetting about my real life problems, not seeking attention or show off, I rarely post selfies.

[NovaByte]

Comes across Unattractive AF.
It screams you're after attention, and you'll take it from anyone. It also says you have no life. Someone who barely posts pics is way more attractive to me because it shows she enjoys the moment, that she's busy actually doing shit, she has hobbies and she prioritises other things over spending 5+ mins to get a good selfie.

[meowcow]

Yes, but there's an equal number of men that act the same way, so they are made for each other. Unfortunately, men and women with social media addictions are not relationship material. And by that, I mean for their entire lives. They are so self-absorbed, that they lack any decent quality of character.

[Sur_Superior]

First off, OMG THAT HAIR! Second, no. Girls who post a lot on social media just means they have too much free time. Anyone who decides to over think it, then maybe they could come off as seeking validation. But more often than not, they're fine with their body and validation isn't really something they need. They have a life, so do you

[Havengul]

Yes but at the same time it also depends on how she goes about it. What i find most annoying is people who want to take photos for social media instead of just enjoying the moment, because they seem to care more about what others think of their activites over what they and the people around them think.

[FutureTrunks]

ISocial media, especially Instagram is kind of meant for validation purposes. Nobody posts a picture online hoping nobody sees it and doesn’t like it so with that being said, to a certain extent... everybody who regularly post pictures are seeking validation