Does silence make him miss me more?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been pretty decent and tried to uphold my dignity by being not too available. Internally it hurts but externally in appearance it is respectable.
Added to the fact his word choices like I have admiration and respect for you ( addresses to me ) are persuasive of good image.
I have a fear of leaving it too long by being so dignified may tempt him into another’s arms. That would hurt me so much because I’m only trying to be respectable and not desperately in love. This is the risk of giving space or being to mature and giving him the impression I can withstand the time it takes. The truth is I’d do anything to hold him !

Updates

+1 y

Thankyou for answering my questions or thoughts you are a sweetheart;)

Updates

+1 y

Though it sounds stupid, I read if he wants he can also ask me out. Yes I rely on words to pacify me because I’ve made my intentions clear. But my heart breaks every day.

[valualty]

If what your doing is a result of wanting respect. It is worth it and you should have no regrets but if it is because you want him to chase you then that is more of an ego type of approach to the situation

[Asker]

I already feel a sense of sadness that’s why I feel what that fine balance is.

[valualty]

You gotta find a way to be happy within yourself without him. When you're happy he will gravitate towards you. #lawofattraction

[Asker]

What happens if he gravitated to another? How do I get his attention again?

[valualty]

If he's not meant to be for you there is someone worthier. You're not exactly missing an arm or a leg.

[Asker]

But I love him and I feel his constant looks as he stands to look and then I can still see his looks. At times if I’m around him he just looks at me and I can’t because it drives me mad and breathless to actually just whisk him away.

[valualty]

Does he know you love him? Looks like you just need to talk

[Sparda20xx]

Agreed. Communication would go a long ways

[motownplayer2000]

Me, no... I would take it as you don’t give a damn about me anymore and then move on too the next girl. Don’t worry anyone and everyone is replaceable!

[Asker]

Actually at times I do feel that feeling too

[motownplayer2000]

Right, he is replaceable too.. not time to play game with people. Life is too short

[Asker]

I know it’s because the only thing he does is say hi (my name) how are you? But no proper conversation about anything substantial. Or he will nearly approach me and make a turn , or we just do eye contact from afar. I suppose my one month of not been seen frequently will diminish attraction for me , yet in all absurd theories I read, it makes me think it might increase it. I believe guys also don’t really value a girl who’s overly out there and popular with many guys, as I maybe seen as invaluable. Such fine acts to play to get with someone we love , or want to feel loved with. I’m actually getting tad worried.

[motownplayer2000]

You get a lot of attention from guys? That can be a turn off to some guys. I know for me, I don’t have time for a girl that’s going to have two or three guys hanging around her (not that I’m saying that’s what your doing) but at the end of the day, yeah that can be a turn off. And I think there is something to be said about time apart. But it is a fine line of how much time apart.. all in all, you may want to not waste your time...

[Asker]

No not that way I meant in theoretical ways. I don’t get too much attention at all contrary I meant, what impression would that create. It’s ok I actually don’t understand his hesitation to converse normally with me. He will only ask the usual hi n how are you. Whilst to others ( even men) he will engage in thoughtful conversation. I get that feeling I’m giving off some vibes I can’t put a finger on the description.

[Asker]

It started off so sweetly and there were days he would suddenly be upset at me and not say hi or my name usually then, revert back to it and now :

I’m wondering this time ( 1 month) Have absolutely diminished my presence in front of him. Would it make him wonder or think something? I know everything or everyone is replaceable but it hurts to think it.

[motownplayer2000]

I think he doesn’t know how to interact with a girl he likes.. a lot of men shut down when they don’t know how to interact. Especially when the chemistry is not there initially. There are times you can talk to someone and it’s easy, the chemistry flows.. and then there are time when it’s a struggle to even say hi, but that can’t be built to a point where it comes easier. But it depends on how willing he is to work on it. I would say, approach him and engage in an intellectual conversation. You start the convo, that way it will lessen him up. If it doesn’t work, then he’s either not trying or it’s not going to work.. it’s is difficult in those instances tho

[Asker]

You’re right I should engage in conversation I’m shy too but I’ll try

[motownplayer2000]

It will help you determine if he is worth your time or not

[Asker]

That’s true because I’ve seen him converse but always manage to look in my direction. I love that but I get hurt that I’m giving an unapproachable vibe.

[motownplayer2000]

Chemistry is off, but if he is worth it, you can work on that

[Asker]

Chemistry is off I don’t know I see him look at me for very long times. I don’t know about worth. It’s hard to gauge worth. The art of balancing it I never got it. I over love or hide away in fear of pain.

[motownplayer2000]

Well that is only something you can figure out and solve... but if he looks at you then he wants something

[Asker]

Actually for a moment I had to refer to what chemistry was in theory lol. Someone here rightfully joked that I was a thesaurus lol indeed;) so I had to assess it from a dictionary point of view. You’re right I always feel l embarrass myself ( not in a good way) that should be taken in stride ; however I feel it’s just a tense feeling + breathlessness and overwhelming tension sexually when at times he stands so close to me or looks down at me and I feel it. But no talk only this looking thing.

[motownplayer2000]

I feel you. Well hopefully everything works out in your favor

[Asker]

Thankyou for taking your time to sincerely care and write to me. Hugs xoxo

[motownplayer2000]

Of course! If you have any other concerns or want to talk, PM me anytime

[Maninderdeepsharma]

U must convince him and share ur feelings honestly. Express ur feelings in loving way like d way u feel. Don't think d negative side like he would mind and all dat stuff. Dn u end up having all d thoughts in ur mind without any action of expressing ur feelings. Becz he is shy in nature so it's better if u initiate dis. Otherwise u will miss golden opportunity and all u will b left with a lot of regrets in ur mind. So it's better to b honest and get into dis relation. at least give one try. Dn u will have d appropriate clarification regarding dis. Gudluck. 👍

[DublinRollerGirl]

So you are one of the game players - not dignity.. games my dear. If you play dard ass you wind up the loser because no one likes playing those games. If you want something than go for it, because the early bird gets the worm.

[Asker]

I read and over analyzed too many articles on how to compose myself and I’m practicing it because he knows my background and yet hasn’t approached me. I feel I’m drawn into it by no choice. Shyness on his part possibly but then he can make moves too. Not only me. However I will do my best to make him know. I made him dessert myself n then said it was especially for him. Ofcourse that was after I implied he was the dessert to be which syrup would give a new dimension in taste. Xxx rated in a disguised way. Next day I got the longest looks. I couldn’t say how it was received.

[Lorelshard]

As a guy, I sometimes really need some space and my partner sometimes understands this. This helps me re-evaluate our company and realize how important we are to each other. However, if you overdo this, then there is a risk that you lose the attraction and fall apart. So, the best thing here is to discuss this with him and ask him if such a thing is needed for him.

[Asker]

He’s my crush not my boyfriend n more so difficult in our predicament s

[Sparda20xx]

Why is it so, difficult?

[Asker]

Because I don’t know if he will suddenly get antsy or bothered by it the next day by looking at me dead on with a fixed intense look.

[Introvert94]

For me, I would miss someone with silence, but at the same time, if I get the silent treatment I would think they aren't interested. And I'm moving on. Why wait when you think they aren't interested. If you're interested, you need to communicate.

[Asker]

How long is long by not being available either?

[CuriousMufuxka]

You sound kind of like dating a thesaurus lol. Kidding aside, if your partner really cares, he or she will take the time to let their presence be known. Step outside of the comfort zone and go all in. I say that with no guarantees and no promises.

[Asker]

That’s true I like the term ‘dating thesaurus’

[i1T2daty]

Based on your photo, few guys are going to at least try to see what their chances are

[Asker]

Meaning?

[Sparda20xx]

Let him know how you feel while at the same time, let him know you respect his need for space.

[NYCQuestions1976]

When do you see this guy?

[Asker]

At drop off or pick up times for my kid

[Asker]

Not always but sometimes

[NYCQuestions1976]

At your kid's school? Is he one of your kid's teachers?

[Asker]

Yes he is

[NYCQuestions1976]

Hit on him at the parent-teacher conferences.

[Asker]

Lol ;) Thankyou I was actually vying for your next reply ;)

[Asker]

Could you please give me some pointers please

[NYCQuestions1976]

Sure. At parent-teacher conferences, ask if you can sit down somewhere. When he says yes, sit on his lap. He'll get the idea. 😉 lol

[Asker]

Could I jokingly suggest maybe I can sit on your lap rather than actually doing it ;)

[NYCQuestions1976]

Sure that works also.

[Asker]

What about a note at that time? With a red velvet coffee

[Thedarklord1810]

He will move on, that is a stupid game

[Asker]

True

[Asker]

I didn’t start it but he acted strange alternative days when I was visually present. So I thought I’m just being too available and decided to let myself be less visually available.

[Decentguy]

yeah, silent treatment does wonders sometimes

[Asker]

I’m scared I’ll lose him though I just want to hold him and kiss him so much. I’ve always noticed his staring and moving towards me, staring down at me smiling , I couldn’t even look into his eyes. I’ll get breathless. Sometimes I can look at him then I get conscious. He talks to everyone but stares at me and just comes around my area but no conversation apart from hi ( my name) how are you?

[Decentguy]

well maybe he's very shy or dont have much confidence, i'll advice you to approach him and express your feelings towards him, life is too short to wait for someone like that, when life gives you a person like that, who makes you feel breathless, because of the intense feelings you get, i'd say go get him

[Asker]

I always end up in staring at him staring at me. Then I can’t as I become breathless

[Decentguy]

if you have any of his social media account, then message him, it will be easy to talk to him through messaging or texting, if you dont, then just write a letter to him, then give him and then turn and go away

[Asker]

Does t mean I’m out of luck if I said he’s my kids teacher?

[Decentguy]

not at all, lol, some men dont mind dating a woman with kids, dont overthink about it, just write a letter and go for him

[Decentguy]

by the way what is about him that makes you feel breathless?

[Asker]

I do love him I know it and he acts shy by only those questions. This week is like lol parent teacher meeting one on one. Soo tingly already as he wrote he very much looks forward to it.

[Decentguy]

tthis is your chance then, tell him about your feelings in that parents meeting

[Asker]

His everything including exotic Italian accent and the goatee like look or his eyes and sharp features. He is shy but I think he’s sexxxxy hot to me

[Decentguy]

ah okay lol

[Asker]

I ll try I’m scared too. Really scared of losing it all

[Asker]

I’ll get coffee in a heart shape the red velvet one to show it.

[Decentguy]

well at least you'll know what to do then, you won't be stuck at a same place

[Asker]

I display my feelings in food

[Decentguy]

[Asker]

Lol I know I’m
Hopeless I’m so scared he knows I’m single mom n he might think why i became that way. What part of my nature made me unbearable to live with was not my control, yet my fear makes me speculate the worst logic. Despite the best indication s

[Decentguy]

when you tell him that you are a single mom, then maybe he'll guess that your husband was a asshole and a bad person, not you

[Sparda20xx]

Just open up to him. I know the fear of rejection is paralyzing at times, but what if he feels the same way about you

[Asker]

Possibly I guess

[Sparda20xx]

You can do this