Men need to feel free. It's better for them to belong to others and have commitments , but if they feel trapped by them, they will want to run away. It's in our nature.
And women don't understand this because it is in their nature to always be surrounded by family, by children and in the safety of home.
A man needs periods when he detaches himself from family and commitments. Think of the well known trope, of "gone fishing". They detach and distract themselves from family life inly to reassess and reevaluate their position in relation to others. And good men will most definetly decide, that they want to be a part of a family and come back after, even better and more reliable, than before.
So as a woman you should try to understand and allow your man to have periods of detachment, because if you do allow them lovingly, he will apretiate that and 100% come back to you, loving you more than ever.
We (myself included) like to take time and clear our heads and just think. Im not sure if its the same case for all races but Im mexican and my dad and so many other dads always tell us that men that "men dont cry" whenever we cry or show feelings we were told the same thing. For me at least now days, I rarely ever cry. I barely show deep feelings and I dislike take helping from anyone let alone a female. Like I said im not sure if this is true or the case for everyone but for us Mexicans that tends to be the case very often
Some do some don’t. Just like women. Some do some don’t. “Why” varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. Same person can feel very differently in different circumstance.
However, anyone no matter their preference, if they choose to be in a relationship they should be able to COMMUNICATE their preference.
We all have different preferences but if you use a preference as an excuse to disrespect the relationship, you don’t deserve it and you won’t keep it.
I see so many questions asking about behavior that their SO can totally explain themselves.
I also need A LOT of space. So luckily I'm not bothered by it if a guy needs space in a relationship. I don't know why men need space but ill say why I do and maybe it'll be similar? I need space because even if I date someone I'm still my own person, I enjoy doing things on my own, watch series and movies on my own, to go places on my own. Even if I'm dating someone we don't need to do everything together or even make every decision together. I'm still my own unique person and need my alone time.
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I can't really say, for sure, for your generation, but for me, when I am having issues at work, or unsure about money, or something, I don't want to concern her, and upset her, because my dad taught me to deal with this, (generation thing) and figure it out, and then come back, when it is good!
Sometimes, when guys just run into things, at work, or with friends, they need some 'cave time' to sort it out, and figure out how they feel!!
Women talk to their friends, about the same things, and they find help, and solutions, among them! Guys are different, and we need to figure it out, alone, and need that space!
If you try to help him, by 'talking' like you do with your friends, it will just make things worse, and confuse him more!!
Let him have the space, a few hours, maybe over night, and everything should be fine!
Speaking for myself, I need my alone time. Whether it's to play video games, watch a movie or whatever, I appreciate getting away from everybody and have time for Me without having to cater to the whims of others... Be that my wife, my child, work or friends.
Everybody should be entitled to have a day or at least a few hours here and there to just switch off and focus on yourself. For me, the only time I have is late nights on the weekend to play Fallout 4 or something while everybody else sleeps.
Without a bit of Me time, you get mentally exhausted having to deal with everybody else's problems and doing what they want to do. Eventually you start to feel smothered and can grow a bit resentful.
Sometimes we like to switch off our minds and not worry about how other people percieve us. Being alone means we can do whatever and not be judged. I like to dance, for example, but NOBODY MUST EVER know. I dance while doing dishes or while cleaning to my favorite jams.
To put it simply: always being around someone, even someone you love, can be mentally exhausting. Sometimes recharge time is needed. If we are denied recharge time, we will get notably more irritable. Something to do with the testosterone I guess, I dunno.
So don't worry, all guys need recharge time. Its a thing.
You gotta work on yourself. Sometimes there are situations where it requires a lot of attention and work to do something. And there are times where it is difficult to give attention to a lover. And I think it's a ok.
If you love someone you understand that sometimes they just need that space. Some do so more than others. It needs to work for you as well as your partner. There should be a balance.
Also, it's not just men want space, woman want it too. But as I said, there needs to be a balance.
We require our space, that's what we are thinking. We do things, we have hobbies and interests that don't involve a partner. We don't want to talk about our feelings and have a woman constantly their like she has been surgically attached to us. That isn't "so much space", that's just having a life, a partner should be a part of your world not your whole world and many women don't understand this (my friend is having this problem with his girlfriend, she has no hobbies, no friends and no life outside of him and its driving him insane because he can't do anything he wants to do because he has to constantly cater to her and try and keep her happy and entertained).
I'm just like that. I have been pretty much single for a few years now and just enjoy time alone. I date frequently, but also break up frequently over this issue. I work a lot through the week and on weekends and always with people- never by myself at work. When I am working from home often girls want to come over and hang out- but that only distracts me and I end up just saying no to further requests. I need some time to think my thoughts and do things that having a girlfriend around doesn't add to for me. Plus I have friends I like to see, and don't always feel like that needs to be a couple activity.
Women are more social than men in most cases. We get overwhelmed when we have to go to work, sometimes school, dealing with our parents if we speak to them, trying to be around friends and being around our lady. Women can handle this much better than men. It is not a bad thing if a man says he needs space. It just usually means he needs time alone or with friends or there might be an issue he wants to solve on his own. The only time you should worry is if he says it immediately after an argument. Also, because we men base our identities off of ourselves and our achievements more than women do, we fear losing ourselves when interacting with others too much.
Because that's when his mind can process information currently in the queue or on the stack. It is hard for his mind to fully space out and process if there's constant input. Therefore he can't come to conclusions or even fully relax without that space. It's not just space from you, necessarily, but space from all things heavy input. Notice how men like to do mindless things- like riding a motorcycle or chopping wood. I guess it's just how our minds and brains work. Trust me on this one babe. If he comes back fully present, he probably loves you. If you let him go and give him a good send off, and wait patiently, he'll love you for it. Don't shame him for his needs. Just make sure that overall he does meet your needs as is reasonable to expect or you will be resentful and he will not be living up to his task.
Because we're also our own person. We can't spend our entire life just sitting next to someone and giving up to everything else that doesn't involve that someone. There might be exceptions, but it's not healthy and it's spelling troubles down the road.
I don't know how much you looked at women, but they're also doing that just as much.
Guys need their space to get things done, keep their independent streak, and think about how they feel on certain things. I have a girlfriend who wants to be around me all the time, but I need days to myself, and if she give me that opportunity I'm refreshed by the time we see each other again.
@Agape93
Room to cheat... lol... yeah right... keep telling yourself that... more like we need to keep our sanity and our own sense of self. There are times we just don't want to hang out all the time. I would be interested to know if this is something that has been issue with several bf's, or just your current one.
I didn't know men generally did this. I really don't know what he's thinking. Usually I do. Not this time.
Is there any chance that it tends to be a certain personality-type that you end up dating. I've never heard of this as being a common 'male' thing to do.
I'm interested to see what answers you get too.
Assuming it's not indefinite/extended time or after a fight this is normal and healthy to have. Whatever a guy deals with, he often wants his own time to settle. It could be through a night with friends or family or just himself for an hour. Being asked to spill our guts can make us uncomfortable or feel draining.
Take that time to hang out with a friend, family, a hobby that you've got, or whatever that isn't worrying about him. You'll both come back to each other happier.
You know that one friend that insists on being around you all of the time, telling you everything about their day and just generally strangling you with information you don't really want to hear? That's why need space. Men just aren't as bothered about all of that stuff and eventually it drives us crazy.
Sounds like you're being too clingy, which can overwhelm most people and is a sign of insecurity. Everyone, both men and women, need a little space to breathe. Understand that he has a life of his own and can't spend every moment with you. Most likely that's the case.
He is a guy and he is an introvert. Get him to do a Myers-Briggs test and you too. It will help as they explain how each communicates and how each likes to be communicated to. Just google the tests, they are free. I am guess he is Introverted Thinking and you are Extrovert Feeling.
Because they are saving the relationship from pitfalls of clinginess, stress from not being able to do what they want, and running out of things to say/do. A guy that's the relationship to work will come back when they are ready. All that is asked is trust.
I honestly dont mind 2 days of no contact. I think its cause I really have nothing to talk about with you or I just want time to miss you. I'm also a single child so I like my private time a lot. I can go weeks without seeing a body, except online haha.
This tends to vary with who I am dating. I have had girlfriends where are nearly inseparable and I have had girlfriends where when I came home I kind of wish they had somewhere to be without me. For me, I think this has more to do their happiness and intellect level. I like happy evocative women, which seem in short supply in my neck of the woods.
Because deep down, we aren't supposed to be "in a relationship," as in, tied down, in the first place. Because it's antithetical to our biology.
"What are men thinking when they pull away like this and require so much space?" We're thinking, "do I really want this? Is she actually the one? Does the concept of 'the one' even hold water? Maybe it doesn't."
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