Why is my boyfriend “tired” and less talkative when around me but not others?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

we’ve been together for almost 2 years now, he’s 17 and I’m 18.

i noticed when we are around a group of friends or with another person, he’s pretty energetic and loving with me lots, doesn’t ever complain that he’s tired, and is usually able to joke around and keep a good conversation.

when it’s me and him alone, a lot of times he’ll complain that he’s really tired, won’t be very energetic and is hard to talk to, he seems down. This is usually after we are walking back to our cars after a long work day, or if he worked and we are hanging out after.

it seems like he can stay in large groups longer if I’m not there, but wants to leave to be alone together fairly quickly and gets “tired” very fast. I just don’t know, he’s still very affectionate, tells me he loves me lots, and is so sweet when he’s “tired” around me he’s just hard to talk to.

My friends said maybe he acts how he truly is around me because he’s comfortable but I don’t know.

what is this?

[amanda_smith]

He could be honest about being tired, and maybe has a medical condition.

I'm basically permanently exhausted, and if I'm not keeping my mind busy, all I want to do is lay down and sleep. Being in a group of people gives me a lot of neural stimulation, and therefore keeps me awake. Being alone or with just one other person doesn't, and I tend to drift to being tired more easily

TL;dr: he's probably being honest, I wouldn't worry about it

[btbc92]

No. This is a bigger problem. If he is like that with friends and other people, but do this in your relationship. Something is VERY WRONG with your RELATIONSHIP. And its not always because he's TIRED physically. And its something he is not telling you or others.

[Anonymous]

I know whenever I'm in a long term relationship I'm definitely more relaxed and comfortable around my girlfriend. It really depends on the type of guy and the setting, because if I'm alone with her and music is playing– my energy is through the roof. Try talking to him and doing things that require more energy and maybe you'll see him perk up a bit more.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m not too sure, sometimes even when music I’m playing in our car rides he won’t sing along or dance. Maybe he truly is tired but even when I’m tired I still have a crap ton of energy (I have ADHD so that might be a factor)

[Opinion Owner]

Do you think he's depressed? High functioning depressives can act out infront of friends and quickly switch to complete silence in privacy.

[spartan55]

Ask him, how would we know? This is something that you should definitely be able to discuss with him, after two years..

[Asker]

He usually has no explanation just that he’s really tired, but I’ve never asked him why he seems energetic in front of others but not me

[spartan55]

You should. Inquiring minds want to know.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s just more real around you. My sisters like that too.

[Asker]

You think so? Like he seems pumped and happy with his friends and when he’s in a good mood around me he’s like that to, when he’s in a bad mood he is still pumped in front of his friends usually but then it dies down when it’s us 2 together

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah that only makes more sense. It’s not like he’s always tired or hard to talk too, only in a bad mood. I wouldn’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Being around women can get exhausting 😂 it’s true tho

[Avicenna]

I think your friends hit the nail on the head.

[Asker]

I sure hope so, I thought maybe I was just boring or something and that’s why he isn’t energetic around me but is his friends but honestly I’m not sure.

Do you ever get like this? Maybe this is a guy thing