Sure. Even if I meet a girl I find attractive who is already in a relationship or if its a girl I simply don't find attractive, I can just focus on being their friend.
However, if I find a girl attractive and we are both single, then I'm certainly not going to aim for just a friendship. I have plenty of friends. What I want is to not be single.
Now, friends are certainly important, but when compared to an actual romantic relationship, friendship with a girl feels like a consolation prize.
I don't want to be friends with a girl and always be reminded that I wasn't good enough to be more. When a girl isn't interested in me romantically, that is completely fine, but they tend to get angry when I would rather walk away and not be their friend. Both people need to want to have the same level of relationship for it to work.
I feel that women view this whole scenario differently than men as well. Like women seem to cherish their 'guy friends' way more than men cherish having female friends.
Most guys I know have that solid crew of male friends and maybe a female friend or two, but a lot of women I know, particularly the more attractive ones, struggle to have friends period.
This one in particular that I was involved with until it went south has lived in my area for 2 years now and has made zero friends. However, the majority of the time she's been here, she has had a boyfriend. Two different guys plus a bunch of time spent with me as merely her 'friend'.
She puts zero effort into making female friends so she has none, yet cries that she doesn't have girl friends. She makes guy friends because they put in all the effort then doesn't understand why they vanish soon after because none of them wanted to just be friends and she doesn't want to stray from her crappy current relationship.
So uh... yes, but not really when feelings/attraction is involved.
It's easy for me personally even when I'm sexually attracted to the girl. It's impossible, of course, if I start fantasizing about her and wanting her on a deeper level than the kind of physical attraction I could have for a complete stranger on the street.
What helps me is knowing that the girl isn't my type, so to speak. I'm not referring to physical type. For example, one of my closest female friends is a comedian (very funny girl) who is an awesome and fun friend but she tends to sleep with a new guy half her age every week only to ditch them. While she is very physically attractive to me, the other side of my brain that isn't caveman doesn't want to end up like one of her boy toys. I much prefer her as a friend to a lover.
As another example, I have another one who is like a "princess". She's super fun and sweet when you connect and open up with her, but she's kind of a spoiled brat. She tends to show up late all the time. We can't rely on her to ever show up on time anywhere. And the types of guys she dates are like guys who follow her around and carry all her stuff and answer her phones for her, like her personal secretary/servant. I suspect she's extremely high-maintenance too as a girlfriend. I don't want to bother with that.
Things of this sort. I can resist the caveman "hubba bubba" instinct when another side of my friend is telling me the girl really isn't right for me as a lover.
[...] I can resist the caveman "hubba bubba" instinct when another side of my [brain] is telling me the girl really isn't right for me as a lover.
With the former one, I wouldn't be surprised if she has some sort of STD given how many guys she has slept with (I suspect over a thousand). That still doesn't shut off the "hubba bubba" instinct when I see her walking around almost naked on Halloween, but it's like I can resist that urge quite easily given all these factors. :-D Besides that, many of my close female friends introduced me to the guys they were dating, and I also became friends with the guys. Some of them are no longer together and they became exes, but it's like going after the girl would still violate the "bro code". There are lots of things like this that help prevent a basic physical/sexual attraction from growing into something that starts interfering with the ability to be friends.
I'm not a guy, but I do believe that platonic friendship exists between men and women. It really depends on a lot of factors and some people are not able to be friends with the opposite sex without developing s romantic or sexual interest, but that definitely doesn't apply to all.
My lifelong best friend is a male and I have many other strictly platonic male friends as well. To me, a good friend is a good friend regardless of what is between their legs. It makes no difference to me.
As for your friend, those are definitely signs he likes you, but friends can give compliments as well. The staring really suggests to me that him liking you is a huge possibility, though, as I've never really met a guy who stares at girls he's not interested in (or a girl who stares at guys she's not interested in, for that matter).
in my opinion yes but they can't be as close as two people in a same sex friendship would/could be. If I had a boyfriend and saw him and his girl best friend being too touchy or found out they were spending a lot of time together I'd have a problem. I just don't think it's appropriate for a man and a woman to be alone together when one is in a relationship but if they wanna meet up in public I'd have no problem with it. Pretty much I don't think they can be super close and it be Platonic but if its more of a let's meet up for lunch every few weeks then I definitely think it can be.
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Yes of course. Men are not attracted to EVERY single woman on the planet. We are more then that damn it! LOL
Seriously... YES. However if the question was can guys be platonic friends with a woman he is sexually attracted too?
Then the answer is NO. It's too much of a distraction.
you're right not every women just the good looking ones lol
Even if I'm attracted to someone I can still just be friends with them. Just because they're attractive doesn't mean I automatically want to date them.
@Jamie05rhs I agree. I meant more in terms of if she is single and you are attracted to her and like her then being friends with her would be quite difficult.
Ah, okay. Gotcha.
Personally, I think that friendship, (true, honest and open friendship), is far more rewarding than just a sexual friendship. I have been on some dating websites, looking for a compatible companion, for outings, walking, cycling or holidays, but all the women want to step into 'a relationship', and sex is quite often 'hinted at'. I am not looking for sex, as it complicates the friendship. Liking someone for who and what they are, is, by far, the most important thing, and having fun is the next best thing, and, life is far too short, to waste it, trying to get a womans knickers off. Where does that get you? Sure, there are predators and 'would be ' seducers, everywhere in the world, but to me, they are just 'saddos', desperadoes who are slaves to their penis, and from this, you can gather that I have few male friends on this earth, and even fewer women friends for that matter, but that doesn't matter, as it is the quality that counts, and not the quantity. I am not gay, or overly heterosexual, but a 'life loving, self caterer', and I love it.
I did have a girl I enjoyed spending my time with pretty much tell me she no longer wished to hear from me informally because she was (and, to my knowledge, still is) in a relationship and no longer felt it appropriate to maintain a platonic friendship; that's the read I got from it anyway. The conversation became awkward (partly my fault), with her telling me her boyfriend checks her cell phone.
And, if that wasn't enough, she contacted me a month later (albeit by way of a mutual contact) expressing an interest in a dinner event I organized for other student employees at work (putting me in an awkward position where I could not simply ask that she not attend). I sent an informal text not expecting a response -- She basically told me not to contact her again explicitly (I actually would have preferred it had she left the dinner event alone and not express an interest in it at all -- I felt she insulted me to start the aforementioned conversation for which she told me about her boyfriend).
To be honest. I personally cannot be friends with a girl if I find her attractive. If before we become friends I can answer "yes" to the question "could you see yourself dating her", we can't be friends long-term. This is because I seek friendship first before a relationship. I don't date people I consider strangers. My attraction to a female friend I want to eventually date will only disappear if I also don't want to be friends with her anymore (maybe due to her personality or something).
If I often compliment a female friend, I definitely want to be more than friends eventually.
Yes. In fact, I've been doing it for most of my life until I finally fulfilled the my internally- & externally-imposed prerequisites for courting (degrees, an office-job with ≥decent-pay, and significant savings).
Also, this happens in a significant demographic of men in other areas of the world. The Japanese coined the term 草食系 ("Sōshokukei"; 「herbivore」; lit.「grass-eater」) for men (& women) with no interest in romantic-relations. (This behavior has been found in other nations, too, and it seems this term is used to describe them as well.)
I can be friend with anyone who's nice and have a few things in common with without having too much in common. To me it doesn't matter if it's men or women as long they're good people. I only wants a romantic and a sexual relationship if they've a great appearance, a special smell and so on in addition to a great personality. If they doesn't have the looks or the smell, then they're just friends.
People I befriend regardless of gender are usually average and ordinary looking people with an average smell. Some may even be at the bigger side. Many of my friends are like sisters and brothers. In addition some of them are even in my family. It's not uncommon to hang out with your cousins if they're living nearby. Beautiful people are rare and beautiful people I've chemistry with is even rarer, so it's a low chance I would be hitting on my friends.
First, that guy likes you. He’s stuck in the friend-zone and, like a dude in some chick flick, is hoping you miraculously see him as the man you love. Unless he’s freely talking about other girls and brings dates around then he’s barking up your tree.
I also think I’ve seen plenty of girls who pretend they don’t know that their friend-zoned man-friend doesn’t like them. It’s pretend ignorance because truth is they are using him as an emotional crutch or a safe space where they can mend after a failed relationship or to simply because they like the presence of a guy they know will do anything for them, tell them nice things, make them feel safe and appreciated, and essentially do boyfriend stuff without any of the maintenance required to have a boyfriend... until the right one comes along and then they suddenly don’t need him the same way.
I don’t think men will be honest here. I personally don’t believe I can be platonic friends with a woman unless certain things are met. If she’s unattractive to me and she’s very similar to how my guy friends are, then that would make it MORE possible that I could be platonic friends with her. The thing is, I think deep down in the male/man brain, when we see a woman, it’s not “let’s be friends with her” it’s more along the lines of “let’s mate with her,” “let’s have children with her,” or “she’s not attractive/appealing to me, let’s not have anything to do with her.” I don’t think men and women can be strictly platonic friends unless the above two requirements or parameters are met, and even then it’s not a certainty.
I still am so yea. It's already been said tho, physical attraction matters. It's more a matter of saying can you be just friends and not have sexual thoughts about them or wonder what it would be like to kiss them. Or think "given the opportunity I would totally fuck them".
There's levels to that lol. In my mind a friendship between guy and girl is only genuine when that's all both parties want, meaning nothing physical or more as far as relationships are concerned. I've had female friends in the past I knew were attracted to me, even tho we never went there and after my last relationship. 2 - 3 girls came out of the woodwork saying I deserve better, that they wanted to fuck me and have liked me for years.
To me that's not real friendship. That's simply holding back from what you really want, until you think you can get what you really want. Because of that you'll never be able to be a genuine friend who is entirely open and honest.
Well not most of the time. But this is some sort of courageous exercise to do lol. But yes i have experienced before. There was a girl in my class infact 2 girls lol. I was platonically in love with. I expressed so much concern about the 1st one and take care of her even her assignments though i am not plato but my love was platonical. And you guys know what after 1 or 2 months her boyfriend came to my home and asked me to step back and thats how my fiest platonic experience came to an end. And the other one, feelings were same but after 7 months she got married bcz she didn't take srand for our relationship. So from that day i simply say plato bye bye as well as his love form.
You “don’t think so” or more like “you hope not”.
A man is chump if he stays friends with a woman he is attracted to. She will most likely take advantage of him (free meals, favors, help moving heavy furniture, help fixing a car, a guy around to help her make the guy she really likes jealous, etc. ).
This crap was done to me in my youth. Nowadays if I’m attracted to a girl and feel that she friendzoning me I tell her best of luck and never talk to her again. Just like a woman has a right to refuse a relationship, a man has a right to refuse a “friendship”.
I know that’s cynical but I’ve meet way way too many selfish women over the years.
I've had platonic male best friends before. One guy didn't like me cause I wasn't black but we were best friends. Another guy didn't like me cause I was broke and super religious but we talked for several hours a week. The third guy didn't like me cause I was a lot older than him but I talked to him so much everybody thought we were dating - I thought he was ugly but I liked him as a friend.
Men can have platonic relationships with women. Personally I have several. It can become a challenge if the man or woman is attracted to the other.
In all likelihood, your friend is probably attracted to you. This doesn't mean he can't be your platonic friend, however.
If I'm attracted to her and I want to see a future together, then hell nah. Now don't get it twisted, I know guys/men may be considered animalistic with their sexual behaviour as he passes by a woman with a pretty face. But at least with me, I have come across girls who are pretty and I'm fine with being friends with them because I just feel the indifferences (e. x: religion) will play a factor that won't make it easy in the future. But that example mostly girls goes to girls who are atheists and don't believe in God. That's my opinion because it's my life.
At 27, you are far too old not to know that you don't have platonic male friends (unless they're already in a happy relationship and you're friends with her too). 100% of your single male friends want to have sex with you. Some will never even try to make it happen, and some will make some minor moves now and again, and a few might come right out and try in earnest, but you have a better chance of having a winning lotto ticket than having a single male friend who is straight, not asexual, but doesn't want to bang you.
These are MEN we're talking about, not girls. Have you not met a man in your entire life? WE WANT SEX, and if you're attractive, WE WANT TO BANG YOU. PERIOD. Learn it. Accept it. Deal with it.
This man speaks the truth I am 15 and even I know this it’s just how it works just got to deal with it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_P2CPASeCc
The (clueless) girls mostly say "sure, we can be just friends" but the guys all know better.
I have male friend, we're both married and know eachother spouses. Still he acts completely different when they are around (less warmth and keep distance, doesn't flirt). I know he would never do anything to jeopardise his marriage and so am I, but this proves that friendship between male and female is never purely platonic, only that we can keep it at that level and never try to take it any further. He himself says that every time a woman comes into the room men (he jokes about it) take a deep breath to inhale the scent and assess if she is "good" or not. So it is only natural that he tries to befriend woman he thinks is "good" and not just any woman. Some sort of attraction is in stake, and knowing men, most usually it's sexual attraction (it doesn't mean he will acto on it, but it exists).
@MrOracle, this isn't always the case. There's possible both the woman and the man finds each others physically unattractive, but are friends just because of they thinks each other are nice people. Men can be friends with women regardless if they're relatives or not. If an unattractive man hangs out with an unattractive woman, they may not want to touch each others.
I'm platonic friends with several women.
What this means is that I'm not trying to engage in a relationship or have sex with any of them, and I enjoy their company in the absence of sexual activity.
If any of them decided to tell me they wanted sex though, I'd be more than willing to oblige.
Like most of the guys here, I have to say, yes.
In relation to your question... I mean, it's different for different guys, but - in my case, I can find a woman beautiful, without finding her attractive. In the same way that I can find a man handsome, and not find him attractive.
So, whilst it's admittedly not likely, it could just be the case that he thinks you're beautiful, but doesn't want to date you...
Yes, I have friends from the other gender I love dearly as friends, identify as 100% hetero-sexual and have zero need to be physically intimate with them (well, a hug is fine of course).
I would however not continuously tell them they have beautiful eyes :-) So, not sure what happens there in your specific situation :-)
For me, I can be a platonic friend to a woman especially if I am not attractive to her physically, seeing her like my sister, she's in a relationship (because I am not homewrecker, lol), she is spiritual meaning to be celibate for marriage or the lord.
Yeh he probs likes you mate. Although you can be platonic friends, generally we're too awkward to platonically compliment someone for fear of them getting the wrong impression. So when we do it, its usually because we want you recognize that we are an option. If that makes any sense.
Yes I absolutely can. I have female friends that I have known and been friends with long before I had even met my wife. That in itself should make it clear that my wife means more than anyone to me. It's her that I decided to spend the rest of my life with and married her. I continue to be friends with many of the same friends I was before, and out of respect respectfully cut ties with a few that were for different reasons but all would or could cause an issue in a continuation of the relationship. HOWEVER... There's always assholes that are self-centered, hurtful, and untrustworthy, both men and women. The words I make a priority in my life is, without honesty and trust there is nothing. Don't always assume the worst, trust your gut, and most importantly, TRUST YOURSELF TO KNOW IF YOU TRULY TRUST SOMEONE. If you can't both be honest and trustworthy of yourself how can you know how to trust another.
Yes, I have a lot of women friends I have never had sex with. A lot of them I like and I find very attractive but I'm not interested in sex. There's nothing wrong with liking someone regardless of the fact that it's your friend. It's kind of ridiculous to think that you would have friends you don't like usually if you don't like someone you won't be their friend. Acquaintance, respectful, but not in the inner circle.
Yes. I used to be just friends with a girl. We hung out, went skating, played soccer, basic things like that. Not once did I want to sleep with her. She was not my type. But she was great to have as a friend. And like others have mentioned, men don't think about sex with every woman they see. We can be picky too.
I can. I'm not saying I had female friends I hadn't fell for. (I have done this) but overall, I've been good on that.
It's perfectly natural for a guy to point out something he likes about you, even if he is only just friends with you. It happens all the time. I wouldn't worry about for now.
No. I cannot. I can only be "just friends" with guys, never have sexual thoughts. But not with girls.
Somehow I am always infatuated with girls, even when i know there is no chance i could ever have sex with her.
Ya. I'm miserable but hopeful. A principled romantic.
Yes guys can be strictly platonic friends with a woman, I have a few female friend that I have know for years that are very attractive and I have never had any physical or sexual attraction to. I have became friends with a couple women that I had a physical and sexual attraction to, but after getting to know them. Lets just say that, familiarity breeds contempt and it killed any desire I may have had to have a relationship beyond a platonic one with them.
No, No AND NO.
Lol.
Any guy that says he has girls-that-are-friends are either flamboyant homosexuals or in the closet about their true feelings for said girl. And any man that lacks the balls to come into a woman more directly, doesn't deserve to have her in the first place.
In your case, that guy is obviously into you. To answer your question - yes, kinda.
Any guy that spends any amount of time near a girl he finds the slightest bit attractive at least occasionally thinks about sleeping with her. If you were to throw yourself at any of your guy friends, they would almost certainly jump on the offer. That doesn’t necessarily mean we intend on making a move.
It’s basically a matter of priorities and boundaries.
It’s not as common as girls like to think, but sometimes trusted friend is worth more than ducking it up for a night or two of fun.
Yeah, I have a female friend that calls me for advice on her relationship and things like that and just to talk
He likes you for sure
Tbh, its very hard to be platonic friends with a girl. Its possible, but once you spend enough time with a cute girl who is a good person, you will probably develop feelings. Its natural, you are supposed to end up dating and taking those friendships to the next level.
If he’s not sexually attracted to the you than yes. But it sounds like he is. Sooner or later he’s likely to make a pass. If/when you reject him for it, no matter how sweet & sensitive you do it, your relationship will never be the same.
Try telling him you’re gay & not into guys then see what he does 😈
Yes depending on the woman. My experience of most women who just want to be friends is that they attempt to use you for favours & help offering nothing in return like you were a boyfriend or their father. Basically like you are a resource to tap.
But I do have some real good female friends.
Obviously he "likes you"... you're wondering if he "wants you beyond that", I think. Guys don't stare at you because they're thinking "cool, I'm SO glad she's my FRIEND !!" LOL He wants you. If you were to make a move on him, he'd be on that in a heartbeat. I guarantee it.
Sounds like he does
But yes I can
A lot of the times the reason dudes are "just friends" with females is because the girl wants to be just friends not because he does,
you see what im saying?
It's hard but very possible. And to what you described it does sound like he likes you. But it is very possible to be platonic friends, just because a guy admires your looks doesn't mean he wants to bang you, it could simply mean he actually admires how you look.
Your guy friends are a bunch wimps... only an idiot tells a girl she has a fine ass and not get his intentions be known... it seems you like the attention but aren't sure you can handle all the hormones boiling in your kitty to let them tag team your ass... that being said... I encourage you to keep up being the tease you are at least good at...
When a guy is giving attention to a girl is definitely interested in her!
It's impossible he is giving her attentions only as platonic friends...
But can be the opposite:
Even if he is interested in you he is not giving attentions because is shy
PS:
You're eyes are really amazing by the way
I think he does like you if he doesn't give compliments like that to everyone. I complimented girls on their shoes, hair, and nail polish. I don't like any of them, and it's not only because they're at least as old my mother. As for your question, yes it's perfectly possible to be platonic friends with someone of the other gender.
I suppose it's possible. However, imho that should be something single people worry about.
Partners should not be hanging out with oppo. gender, if even it makes their partner uncomfortable. Or find a partner that is comfortable with that. But you better make sure before you go ahead with dating seriously.
oh yeah that sounds really platonic because all my guy friends admire my ass and say how pretty it is. guys don't say that to their friends and that guy is not your platonic friend. anyway i know i can be platonic friends with a girl but why would i want to be? guys can be better friends at least for other guys
He likes you but so do all guys because they will compliment any pretty girl until one of them likes them. You aren't special because he probably says that or would say that to any other girl on the street that isn't ugly.
Hello, giving my opinion because most of my friends are guys. Yes, platonic relationships are possible but people do change and this guys appears to be interested in you as more than a friend. Message me if you want to chat more.
It's possible, but hard. Guys that hang out with and have girl friends tend to think about them sexually and get attracted to them later down the road.
I have platonic female friends. Usually they are attached to me through a mutual friend and we hit it off, but because of the circumstances, i never consider them as a possible love interest.
He likes you but doesn't want to ruin the friendship he has built. Just be honest with him. Thats all any guy wants is to know the truth. I am great friends with a lot of woman so yes to be playonic is possible
Depends in what way we like you, if we want to date you. We can definitely like women mostly platonically. I can appreciate a woman's beauty and company from a higher perspective.
I think so. I have one really close male friend and we have been so since elementary school. We don’t see much of each other once school starts but we text often.
That guy doesn't sound like he is after your friendship and maybe not your eyes per se. It is rare for that sort of friendship but dependent mostly upon who each is and how they jive as a pair. Could be worth considering in another context, but Is argue it can't or shouldn't be attempted in this case. Keep your distance til he cools off and go from there
Of course. It's a sign if maturity. It should be a goal for every guy, actually. What, you wanna sleep with every woman you're friends with? Don't be an ass, and get some female friends into your circle.
Most of my friends are women. I trust women more because some figures in my life.(I do still have a few very close guy friends.) I almost asked a female friend out once, otherwise strictly platonic.
sure, they're not interested in EVERY lady they meet
Yea I am the problem is not me liking them but all them eventually liking me and then I need to create that buffer zone and they get bitchy sooo can I yess does it last no
No. If I have a relationship with a woman I want sex, otherwise I'm really not interested in having a relationship. We can be friends too, bun not JUST friends.
Thtey can but your friend does like you. Don't pretend like you don't realize it because it suits you so.
That guy likes you. As for friends, I’d like to think so. A woman can definitely be friends with a man platonically, but I don't know if it works both ways. Hope so.
*girl. Not "woman." And yes, sure no problem, as long as she isn't physically attractive. If a guy is attracted to a girl, he will always want to have sex with her, and would, if circumstances were different. And that isn't platonic friendship.
To answer your first question yes , one of my best friends is a women and we have been friendsq for over 13 years. It does sound like your friend may have a cruch on you.
Yes. There are some girls i have no sexual attraction to. Like 10%. The the other 90% -id fuck.
Colleagues in a working environment can be friends because it is centered on a common interest; architecture or church activity, for examples. But out on the ground, same sex make better friends.
Well if he likes your eyes yes there is a possibility that he likes you
but hard to say? Go by some other body language or how he talks
when you two are alone or around other people. ?
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