I've used this analogy many times, so apologies if you have read it before, but it's one that anyone, women included, can relate to.
Imagine that you have not eaten in 10 days or longer. You have water, but no food of any kind. Try to imagine how hungry you would be, and how constantly distracting that hunger would be in trying to go about your daily life and handling all of your responsibilities. How difficult it would be to maintain your motivation to do your job or your school work, to do the laundry or feed the dog. Every train of thought seems to get interrupted by hunger pains and fantasies of your favorite meal.
Now, you are in this state of starvation and desperation, and you still have to get through the day. You, for whatever reason, can't eat, despite your hunger. Would it be easier to get through the day at home alone, or sitting in the kitchen of a restaurant, hearing orders being placed, seeing and smelling the cooks cooking, and watching plates of food being carried out to the dining room.
Most people would say that being in the kitchen, starving, but not being allowed to eat, would be torture, and much more difficult to deal with than being hungry at home alone.
For a large percentage of men, especially teens, their sex drive is very strong, but they are unable to get a girl (or only very rarely and with difficulty), so they are walking around every day in a state of sexual starvation, and dealing with the "hunger pains" and the constant drive to "eat" and the distraction that makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. Not every guy has such a strong sex drive, and a few guys are good-looking or popular enough to get laid nearly as much as they want consistently, but most guys aren't so fortunate, so they have a pretty constant "hunger."
Take THAT, and now add in a girl that the guy finds not only physically attractive (she doesn't need to be a 9 in looks - a 4 or higher from his perspective is enough) AND he likes her personality enough to be friends? How could he possibly NOT want to have sex with her? That's like a starving person not wanting pizza - it would be shocking if they didn't.
Girls tend to vastly underestimate how profound most men's sex drive is, and how difficult it is for most men to get sex (and, so, how intense the "hunger" is for them). I'm not sure that most women have any relatable experience that is so deep and instinctual and strong - starvation hunger is the closest thing I could think of, and most people haven't actually experienced that, but can at least imagine it.
1. friendship with women is a bit on the costlier side than men. 2. There is lot of drama , which i like though i am dramatic abot myself.
3. You have to be a certain way to be with a women , with guys you don't have to worry about it.
4. I think a guy would be used by a friend who is girl for added task or something and there is no guarantee of returning the favour sure there will be lot if genuine reasons for them to deny.
But they take it personally when a guy would deny.
5. With guys it's much easier and when fights occur it will be cleared of in few days. But with girls there will be certain awkwardness
6. Attraction plays a major role , majority of men get attracted quickly.
7. And when doin all the above you could have a girlfriend and you would get more benifits better to have a girlfriend.
8. There is nothing much to be offered by both ends if you are in platonic gmfriendship.
Very few friendships like that workout and i assume that to if you are friends from very young age
Let's pretend that a guy truly just wanted a platonic relationship with a woman, okay? What would he get in exchange for what he gives? Women expect a lot of traditional benefits from men like "a shoulder to cry on", somebody to fix her car or give her educated advice on car repair shop stuff, somebody to move that 300+ pound fridge. somebody to protect her or make her feel safe when it's 3AM and a stranger knocks at her door or her violent ex boyfriend threatens her. What is she going to give him that's similar? Zilch. Because she has the excuse that it wouldn't be traditional to give any of that stuff to a man. Plus he probably doesn't need it anyhow. So she's getting her $350/hour worth of emotional support and he's not even getting $5 worth of microwaved dinner from her. Interesting, isn't it?
A lot of guys are smart enough to know that he could show this woman respect & comfort & she will enjoy it but not give him casual sex or a serious relationship because she doesn't find him worthy. BUT she will give that stuff to a dude who treats her like crap. Now I'm not saying all women are like that in every relationship/situation but it's like 98% of the ones who would even accept a platonic relationship from a sucker.
Another thing is you know how women have a biological clock? Guys have some kind of clock too and it says: get with hot women. Not become the brother to as many women as possible. Even if a guy fights that instinct he's going to find himself 'concidentally' around women he finds hot more often than women he doesn't.
Well older guys can but guys your age they only have one thing on their mind and that is they want to get into your pants and they look at it as a notch on their belt buckle if they succeed so you're not going to find a guy that can actually do that until you're in your thirties probably I have quite a few friends that are girls that are just my friend there are a couple of them that I had to make the choice either a good friendship or do something stupid and probably end up breaking up and not be friends anymore
I'm in platonic friendships with a few women, and have been in more in the past, but as someone who has never progressed to an actual relationship, it would also be wrong to say there aren't at least a few of those friends I'd jump at the chance to move into a relationship with.
Female relationships are more emotionally charged, whereas men are wired only to get that emotionally connected to their primary partner, so the issue comes when the man also finds their friend physically attractive and starts to open up emotionally, that automatically puts them on a path to romantic feelings towards their female friend. Some can hide it better than others and maintain the friendship, while others can't and it spells the end of the friendship (at least for that time).
We can absolutely be in a platonic relationship with a girl, just girls we are not attracted to.
If you in a relationship with a dude, don't even bother try to have "male friends", because guys know each other, and them male friends are trying for him to mess up to shoot their shot. Some of them might be too awkward, they get "friendzoned" and others might score, but nobody is taking that chance.
My philosophy in life is simple. If I find a girl attractive, it's either a date, or I stay as far away as I possibly can.
I think it can work if a guy finds a woman not attractive enough for a relationship. I think it´s so rare because we guys only open up emotionally to a woman we find attractive in some way. The only women I ever were in a platonic friendship I either found physically attractive but she had different values and we were too different in character or the other way round. In some rare cases I didn´t want to start a relationships because I consider them part of my family like I already knew them too good to start a relationship. I grew up from an early age so I know them more than 15 years.
You are young so I will give you a pass on this. You shouldn’t be getting sexual with anybody at your age anyway. Anyway the ugly truth is a platonic “friendship” almost always benefits the woman over the man.
She gets the following: a man around her to feel safe, logically advice, someone to move heavy furniture, societal pressure to for the guy to pay for things on outings, advice about other guys (NEVER ever ask a friéndzoned guy about advice on this one, male attention, etc.
So please tell me exactly how you benefit the man? Especially if he likes you and you are not attracted to him. Tell me exactly what benefit you provide to him (besides gracing him with your “presence”).
I usually hear it's because of how men's attraction works, but I don't think that's why. If men's attraction was the problem, then I would expect gay men to have just as hard a time being friends with other men as straight men have being friends with women. But this doesn't seem to be the case.
Personally I think it has more to do with how the man views women (regardless of whether he is attracted to them). The more differently he views women compared to men, the less likely he is to want to be friends with a woman, and vice versa the less different the more likely. This could range from just thinking women have different bodies, to women have different interests, to women have different friendships, to women have different rational/emotional capacities, to women are a different species, etc.
Says who? Of course as a man I can be friends with a woman. Nevertheless, the thing is since my wife died a few years ago, what I'm looking for is a full relationship with a woman, not a platonic one.
There are many situations where a so called platonic relation is the only decent option, like on the work floor, or as a member of a theater or music group, or women engaged in marriage, etc. Still, very deep inside my mind, the hetero I am will always somehow leave open the option to a physical engagement, be it occasional.
If that's the case I would have started dating when I was 8. I have a lot of female friends because they're easier to talk to but guys are just a mess. Of course, a man can be friends with a woman or a guy with a girl nothing has to be sexual about it. Like I told an adult at a school meeting because he was saying that he was hoping that his daughter and her best friend which is a guy at going to get together have kids I said to him “Chill okay? Their just besties from a different set of testies”.
It IS possible. I love hanging out with and talking to girls, a lot of times there's attraction, and with these girls its going to be difficult to keep a long lasting friendship, because once I get into a relationship, I'm going to feel the need to distance myself from them out of respect to my partner. However with some girls, who I personally don't feel attraction to, it's possible for me to be friends with them indefinitely. And even love them, though that love is purely platonic. Like I love my mom and dad.
My two best friends are girls. And they're not unattractive. One of them is very very pretty, with a killer body, she's also successful and she's a really kind and funny person. A total package if you're talking attraction-wise.
BUT, they're basically family, and I'll never feel that romantic spark for them because of that. I've friendzoned them and they're never coming out. And I believe it goes both ways.
