I've used this analogy many times, so apologies if you have read it before, but it's one that anyone, women included, can relate to.
Imagine that you have not eaten in 10 days or longer. You have water, but no food of any kind. Try to imagine how hungry you would be, and how constantly distracting that hunger would be in trying to go about your daily life and handling all of your responsibilities. How difficult it would be to maintain your motivation to do your job or your school work, to do the laundry or feed the dog. Every train of thought seems to get interrupted by hunger pains and fantasies of your favorite meal.
Now, you are in this state of starvation and desperation, and you still have to get through the day. You, for whatever reason, can't eat, despite your hunger. Would it be easier to get through the day at home alone, or sitting in the kitchen of a restaurant, hearing orders being placed, seeing and smelling the cooks cooking, and watching plates of food being carried out to the dining room.
Most people would say that being in the kitchen, starving, but not being allowed to eat, would be torture, and much more difficult to deal with than being hungry at home alone.
For a large percentage of men, especially teens, their sex drive is very strong, but they are unable to get a girl (or only very rarely and with difficulty), so they are walking around every day in a state of sexual starvation, and dealing with the "hunger pains" and the constant drive to "eat" and the distraction that makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. Not every guy has such a strong sex drive, and a few guys are good-looking or popular enough to get laid nearly as much as they want consistently, but most guys aren't so fortunate, so they have a pretty constant "hunger."
Take THAT, and now add in a girl that the guy finds not only physically attractive (she doesn't need to be a 9 in looks - a 4 or higher from his perspective is enough) AND he likes her personality enough to be friends? How could he possibly NOT want to have sex with her? That's like a starving person not wanting pizza - it would be shocking if they didn't.
Girls tend to vastly underestimate how profound most men's sex drive is, and how difficult it is for most men to get sex (and, so, how intense the "hunger" is for them). I'm not sure that most women have any relatable experience that is so deep and instinctual and strong - starvation hunger is the closest thing I could think of, and most people haven't actually experienced that, but can at least imagine it.
1. friendship with women is a bit on the costlier side than men. 2. There is lot of drama , which i like though i am dramatic abot myself.
3. You have to be a certain way to be with a women , with guys you don't have to worry about it.
4. I think a guy would be used by a friend who is girl for added task or something and there is no guarantee of returning the favour sure there will be lot if genuine reasons for them to deny.
But they take it personally when a guy would deny.
5. With guys it's much easier and when fights occur it will be cleared of in few days. But with girls there will be certain awkwardness
6. Attraction plays a major role , majority of men get attracted quickly.
7. And when doin all the above you could have a girlfriend and you would get more benifits better to have a girlfriend.
8. There is nothing much to be offered by both ends if you are in platonic gmfriendship.
Very few friendships like that workout and i assume that to if you are friends from very young age
Let's pretend that a guy truly just wanted a platonic relationship with a woman, okay? What would he get in exchange for what he gives? Women expect a lot of traditional benefits from men like "a shoulder to cry on", somebody to fix her car or give her educated advice on car repair shop stuff, somebody to move that 300+ pound fridge. somebody to protect her or make her feel safe when it's 3AM and a stranger knocks at her door or her violent ex boyfriend threatens her. What is she going to give him that's similar? Zilch. Because she has the excuse that it wouldn't be traditional to give any of that stuff to a man. Plus he probably doesn't need it anyhow. So she's getting her $350/hour worth of emotional support and he's not even getting $5 worth of microwaved dinner from her. Interesting, isn't it?
A lot of guys are smart enough to know that he could show this woman respect & comfort & she will enjoy it but not give him casual sex or a serious relationship because she doesn't find him worthy. BUT she will give that stuff to a dude who treats her like crap. Now I'm not saying all women are like that in every relationship/situation but it's like 98% of the ones who would even accept a platonic relationship from a sucker.
Another thing is you know how women have a biological clock? Guys have some kind of clock too and it says: get with hot women. Not become the brother to as many women as possible. Even if a guy fights that instinct he's going to find himself 'concidentally' around women he finds hot more often than women he doesn't.
Well older guys can but guys your age they only have one thing on their mind and that is they want to get into your pants and they look at it as a notch on their belt buckle if they succeed so you're not going to find a guy that can actually do that until you're in your thirties probably I have quite a few friends that are girls that are just my friend there are a couple of them that I had to make the choice either a good friendship or do something stupid and probably end up breaking up and not be friends anymore
I'm in platonic friendships with a few women, and have been in more in the past, but as someone who has never progressed to an actual relationship, it would also be wrong to say there aren't at least a few of those friends I'd jump at the chance to move into a relationship with.
Female relationships are more emotionally charged, whereas men are wired only to get that emotionally connected to their primary partner, so the issue comes when the man also finds their friend physically attractive and starts to open up emotionally, that automatically puts them on a path to romantic feelings towards their female friend. Some can hide it better than others and maintain the friendship, while others can't and it spells the end of the friendship (at least for that time).
I usually hear it's because of how men's attraction works, but I don't think that's why. If men's attraction was the problem, then I would expect gay men to have just as hard a time being friends with other men as straight men have being friends with women. But this doesn't seem to be the case.
Personally I think it has more to do with how the man views women (regardless of whether he is attracted to them). The more differently he views women compared to men, the less likely he is to want to be friends with a woman, and vice versa the less different the more likely. This could range from just thinking women have different bodies, to women have different interests, to women have different friendships, to women have different rational/emotional capacities, to women are a different species, etc.
We can absolutely be in a platonic relationship with a girl, just girls we are not attracted to.
If you in a relationship with a dude, don't even bother try to have "male friends", because guys know each other, and them male friends are trying for him to mess up to shoot their shot. Some of them might be too awkward, they get "friendzoned" and others might score, but nobody is taking that chance.
My philosophy in life is simple. If I find a girl attractive, it's either a date, or I stay as far away as I possibly can.
I think it can work if a guy finds a woman not attractive enough for a relationship. I think it´s so rare because we guys only open up emotionally to a woman we find attractive in some way. The only women I ever were in a platonic friendship I either found physically attractive but she had different values and we were too different in character or the other way round. In some rare cases I didn´t want to start a relationships because I consider them part of my family like I already knew them too good to start a relationship. I grew up from an early age so I know them more than 15 years.
You are young so I will give you a pass on this. You shouldn’t be getting sexual with anybody at your age anyway. Anyway the ugly truth is a platonic “friendship” almost always benefits the woman over the man.
She gets the following: a man around her to feel safe, logically advice, someone to move heavy furniture, societal pressure to for the guy to pay for things on outings, advice about other guys (NEVER ever ask a friéndzoned guy about advice on this one, male attention, etc.
So please tell me exactly how you benefit the man? Especially if he likes you and you are not attracted to him. Tell me exactly what benefit you provide to him (besides gracing him with your “presence”).
Says who? Of course as a man I can be friends with a woman. Nevertheless, the thing is since my wife died a few years ago, what I'm looking for is a full relationship with a woman, not a platonic one.
There are many situations where a so called platonic relation is the only decent option, like on the work floor, or as a member of a theater or music group, or women engaged in marriage, etc. Still, very deep inside my mind, the hetero I am will always somehow leave open the option to a physical engagement, be it occasional.
If that's the case I would have started dating when I was 8. I have a lot of female friends because they're easier to talk to but guys are just a mess. Of course, a man can be friends with a woman or a guy with a girl nothing has to be sexual about it. Like I told an adult at a school meeting because he was saying that he was hoping that his daughter and her best friend which is a guy at going to get together have kids I said to him “Chill okay? Their just besties from a different set of testies”.
It IS possible. I love hanging out with and talking to girls, a lot of times there's attraction, and with these girls its going to be difficult to keep a long lasting friendship, because once I get into a relationship, I'm going to feel the need to distance myself from them out of respect to my partner. However with some girls, who I personally don't feel attraction to, it's possible for me to be friends with them indefinitely. And even love them, though that love is purely platonic. Like I love my mom and dad.
My two best friends are girls. And they're not unattractive. One of them is very very pretty, with a killer body, she's also successful and she's a really kind and funny person. A total package if you're talking attraction-wise.
BUT, they're basically family, and I'll never feel that romantic spark for them because of that. I've friendzoned them and they're never coming out. And I believe it goes both ways.
I can. Assuming she likes the same hobbies enough to be friends with. In fact a lot of my friends are women.
Why do you think all men are romantically attracted to all women?
I only find a small portion of women attractive physically, and an even smaller portion attractive mentally, and its so rare to find both in one package near my age group that every women I come across has a 0.00000000000001% chance of being anything more than just a friend (and straight up zero chance if under 25 or over 45)
I've had lots of platonic friendships over the years. When I was in college I always hung around with Samantha, Kate and Sarah. They were easy to talk to and just seemed like regular people.
At University I used to hang around with a girl called Diane. She was my cinema buddy. Must have been to maybe 50 movies over 2 years with her. Neither of us were interested in anything more. She was attractive enough but I was far too busy studying to even contemplate relationships.
Since I've been married I have loads of female friends through my wife's connections. I don't want anything from these ladiee except interesting chats.
If you have feelings for the girl it’s not easy. Guys and men don’t get courted the way girls and women do. Females have more social media followers, females tend to be courted/approached more. Guys/men Have this thinking to if I’m her friend maybe she’ll deal with me and that confuses women to. It’s not an easy thing and I guess when sexual tension and feelings are involved it’s not that simple. I have respect for girls I work with that I only consider colleagues even if they are pretty because I need to keep it professional.
Most of my friends are women actually. I get along better with them in general, although my BEST friend is a guy. Just the way things worked out I guess.
I do thing men in general have a harder time not seeing her as a dating prospect. For a lot of different reasons, but they're too varied to get into.
Because if there is no spark, usually men and women don't have enough in common to remain close friends. Few women want to talk about pussy, how big my last poop was, how great it was that I got my cum swallowed last night, oil changes, guns, biceps, or most of the usual make interests. Few men are interested in "woman's issues" or hobbies or complaining about men or your period. If I am showing interest in typical feminine subjects it is because I am interested in her. In fact there is a certain amount of calorie burn for men when women are around because we can't say whatever we want and I'm sure it is the same for women.
It's not an absolute rule but yes men and women can be only friends. However, I advice men not to be friends with women unless they absolutely have to because men dont get anything from such relationships. Women get the attention, time and resources however, men do not get the sexual attention. So it's a one sided deal. However, if a man feels like he's in a friendship with a woman and he's not attracted to her and she brings value to his life than sure.
We can if we have our base covered, ie got a good girlfriend. Or if she is unattractive. But for most parts we are different so most women are simply not worth having as friends because then you get the compromises of a relationship but not the benefits. Men are just simpler to deal with as friends.
We just chill, there is no expectation. Aslong as your not a ahole your fine. And I don't count normal behavior as an expectation. Because you can expect to be challenged on shit like that.
I've been friends with this one woman since high school. It's been more than 10 years right now. We've never once flirted or acted romantically because we have absolute respect for each other. Of course, being single, I WOULD take her in a heartbeat if she gave me the sign.
But we've been friends for this long, I really don't care what our relationship is at this point.
For the most part it is either just physical or emotional like the other guys said. I do not remember where I found it at, but call my bluff and look it up, I wants read that men do fall in love faster than women. Rather it does start off with luxe or even Personality, it’s just something we do. I don’t know if it’s from an revolutionary standpoint or just primal drive
Well I for sure can but there is hormonal feelings and naughty thoughts with a fair number of these girls, 5-15% of whom I've had "dual naughty conversation" with
But they would probably say that they can't because they see girls being there friend as either: (A not the purpose of male female interaction (B disrespectful to there already girlfriend/wife or (C see women or girls as property of men and only for romance or sex.
Some women know when they are using the men friends, don't kid yourself. But if a fella doesn't mind doing things for them just to be around them, I can understand that, it's better than nothing. Some guys enjoy doing things for women with nothing expected in return. Many men do this anyway thinking they can worm there way in, and it works some of the time. But it is possible if you know what you both expect. I'm sure she would have said, "I don't think of you that way" by this time.
Cos I don't want to be, there's no need, i have males for friends, there's no need for a female friend... I only want females for dating or to be my girlfriend... If a girl wants to be friends with me I will not because it's jus sad since I am probably attracted to her and want more... I rather not be sad about what I can't have all the time.. Better to only be friends with your own gender
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Also why we can't be not attracted is cos girls are always attractive to us since most look good. Not all guys look good that's why girls aren't attracted to every guy. But every girl is attractive. Except fat ones
It is really sad that people think men and women can't be platonic friends. Okay, I have to admit that I am guilty of that myself even though I have MANY platonic women friends. I have also had many women friends I have shared beds with. One woman friend of mine bragged about me and her sleeping in the same bed without sex to the crowd at a house party we were at. I wondered why would she do that? I guess she wanted people to know that it IS possible for men and women to be friends more.
Guys who are attracted to women can be friends with them. The problem is a lot of guys believe they will automatically want to have sexual relations if they find her attractive. A lot of guys believe that any guy who has a female friend who is in a relationship, engaged or married will want her man to mess up so they can try to get with her. Not all guys are like that.
I can... most of my best and closest friends are women, and with some of them I've been friends for a longer time that you've been alive...16 to 20 years old even
We are mammals... if you do believe in God, I refer you to the first 2 people on Earth "Be fruitful and Multiply" If you do Not believe in God, then look at all the other animals on ,,, The female flirts and lifts her tail... and 10 males Hump her within minutes. Men are strongly guided by their baser instincts... you can slow them down, get to know them, decide if they are of any value or just Lift you tail and watch them all come running... (Blane God, it's his design)
We can’t go against the nature’s law and so should you. Every girl should give fuck whenever asked for thats in a way females community development only to realise once you give coz unless u invest u won't get returns and until then keep shouting violence
I can be. I am only attracted to one of my female friends. It just sorta happened. I didn't plan for it though. I was just friend with her and then became attracted to her. The same happened with another female friend, but we're dating now so she's not just a friend anymore. All my other female friends are just that. Most aren't unattractive, but I don't find them particularly attractive per se.
It depends.. I think if the guy is already taken then it makes it easier to be friends with other girls. A single guy hanging out with a single girl a lot would make it hard for them to be friends because one person will catch feelings.
I'm not attracted to or want to date pretty much all of my female friends, I see them more like I would a sister. There is the odd exception but the feelings are mutual, we just never take it beyond a little fun.
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