Can you fake this look of love/awe?

[Anonymous]

Last week, I had this really sweet moment/interaction with my boss.

I was at work and he approached my desk (we haven't seen each other for weeks because of the COVID-19 restrictions), and he spoke to me in this really soft tone and had this sweet smile on his face the entire time, but lord, his eyes!
My gosh, I have never been on the receiving end of such a look!
There was this incredible gleam and softness to them, and he was looking at me like I was this incredible treasure. It was such a pure and tender expression. He has never looked at me that way before. I really don't know what will happen between us from here.

Does this sound like he was looking at me with love?

Can this look be faked? Or is this something that can only come out of genuine feeling?

Guys, are you aware of when you're doing this or is it involuntary?

[Deformate]

Well a clever manipulator or a sociopath could easily do it. I know for sure a manipulator xan do it because as I was reading, I paused to do the look myself. (clever manipulator here, not an evil type). If you dont get the feeling that it's one of those possibilities then I have 2 more for you. 1. After the covid lockdown situation he could be genuinely happy to be around people again. 2. After this covid lockdown situation, and not having seen you for weeks, he could be genuinely happy to see you specifically again. If you desire resolution to your curiosity there are only really 2 options for you (3 if you are a masochist). You can either speak to him, explain that when he was talking to you he seemed really happy and ask him why that was, or you could just dismiss it and move on. (The third option I mentioned is you could do nothing and torture yourself for ages wondering what it meant). My philosophy has always been you need to ask questions to get answers. I mentioned before I am a manipulator. I guess I manipulate people but I do so by manipulating the situations around the people. I would manipulate the situation to make it seem I wasn't cornering him, giving him a way out whilst definitely pressing him for an answer. Its a fine line you need to balance flawlessly though else it blows up in your face so I wouldn't suggest trying it. I do encourage finding a friendly way of asking him though. Maybe engage him in idle conversation and steer the conversation gently towards that moment at your desk. Get to a point when you can ask him what had put him in such a happy mood.

[Asker]

This is good to know. This guy is very intelligent, so it could be him manipulating me.
He certainly did treat anyone else around me like this. I might see what happens when I see him next and ask if the opportunity presents itself.

[Deformate]

Im not saying all intelligent people are manipulative. Also, mine is a defence mechanism to protect myself.

[Asker]

*did not treat anyone else like this. Damn typo.
It's still good to be aware of it, I mean the impression I had was that it was genuine feeling from him. When you did yourself, did it look genuine?

[Deformate]

Im gonna have to say yeah, even felt genuine. I wanted it to though. Without making it feel genuine, it stops at the eyes. That makes it harder to pull off because you have to put yourself into a mindset that would instill that specific reaction. Premeditated if you will. Dont let what Im dayong cast suspicion or doubt on the guy, maybe just a sense of caution. You said he did this to others too. It could be that he is just genuinely happy to see you all again. The eyes though... hard to do.

[Asker]

That was a typo, he didn't look at anyone else that was in like that or talk to them in that tone. Prior to this when I last saw him, there was other stuff he did, like blushing around me after making eye contact with me, making prolonged eye contact, compliments on my work, interrupting a conversation I had with another male colleague etc
Your answer has been good though and given me something to think about, as I do feel a bit out of my depth with this guy. He's older and very intelligent.
So you said that it stops at the eyes? Any other tips you can give for me to tell if it's not genuine feeling he might be displaying?

[Deformate]

Well... I can't blush on command. Not even slightly. If you had said all of the other things he had done prior to the situation, I'd actually be willing to believe that his intentions are quite genuine and not premeditated for some exploit. Of course, his feelings are uncertain. Has he fallen for you? Does he see you as someone he finds beautiful and attractive? Are you just stirring his loins? Its hard to say. I dont want to commit to an answer but with the blushing, the eye contact, compliments, the smiling... its pretty clear there is a strong interest in you. I guess you'll have to figure out a way of talking to him to discover the nature of that interest.

[Asker]

Thanks, your answer has been really insightful.

[Deformate]

Thats a relief. I was worried it might be coming off quite pessimistic lol

[Asker]

Not at all, it's very honest. I think given everything else he's done, I am more inclined to believe it's genuine. I do wonder how aware he was that he was looking at me like that, like it was involuntary or if he was just wanting to show clear interest. Like you said, he's the only one who can really answer. Not sure how I can even bring it up. Might just wait and see what the next interaction is like.

[Deformate]

A good plan. Maybe he was trying to get a read on you at the same time. The next interaction may be very revealing indeed. Keep us posted please. Im really interested to see where this goes :)

[Asker]

So last week we had a zoom team meeting, he was there too. I made the comment "it's been a hard... fucking... year." (With pauses to emphasize), his eyes started sparkling and he had that same sweet smile. He also made a point of telling us he came from a position where he was earning more than tqice what he is now and his jother ob is still open. Next day, he came into work, looked at me as soon as he entered then went around and spoke to everyone, when he said hello to me, his voice & eyes were soft and he had that sweet smile. I think it's all genuine.
Do you think this interest is strong enough that it'll lead to something more? That he might make a move? He's a driven guy, so I think it's best to let him take the lead.

[Smashingdoozy]

Could just be a genuine look of joy to have you back at work. I wish my co-workers we're like that I feel like im getting on everyones nerves 😂

[Asker]

Could be.