Why do some men get offended when some women say 'Men are all the same/just want sex' yet not when guys say 'I know how men think'?

[Shuri]

This has kind of always boggled my mind. Men get offended when women perceive them to all be the same or just want sex. However, men will also say, "I know how guys think and what he really wants."

I've heard my dad say it, my brother say it, and even my boyfriend say it. I have guy friends who say it, too. And I'm a teacher for 8th grade. The male teachers I work with aren't any different. We see when students have 'crushes' and the male teachers will comment that they know what some guys are after with the female students because they were once that age and 'know how guys think'. (It's not as creepy as it sounds... we actually have to watch student behavior to make sure no one is harassed and to know when to get parents and counselors involved. Happens a lot more often than you would think with 8th graders and sometimes really interrupts the learning process).

So... why is it okay for men to generalize men when it comes to intentions with women but it's not okay when women make the same generalization? Is it just because it's coming from a woman and not a guy?

[Exotic_Insinuations]

Maybe because, when a man says it, it's clear that they are speaking about one segment of male personality.
It's not really true that men only want sex. Yes, we think about sex almost all the time, and we want sex with women (and usually a lot of them) , and we do things to make women feel sexually attracted to us.
But, it seems to me that somehow, among us men, there is a non-spoken consensus that it's not really that simple. We have emotions for these girls, we are afraid that they will hurt us/we will hurt them, that she is going to find someone else or that she won't find us attractive anymore. We care for them, want them to feel good and everything. Not only for sex, but because we honestly care about our loved ones well-being.

But, that's emotional side of relationship. And these stuff men rarely speak about with other men, because they will be considered weak, pussies, not real men (stupid, i know).
So we are ok to show our sexual desire toward women while talking with other men, and that more emotional side is left unspoken, but understood.

We trust other men, because they are in same skin.

When this sentence comes from women - we think they degrade our personalities to a pure sexual desire.
I don't blame women because of that - we do not speak about our emotions as much and as successful as women. Plus, you have many men whose life goal is to earn a title of alpha man/player.

But when you say - all men are same, it seems like you put us down in evolutional sense, that you consider men not worthy for women, that we are not evolved/good/mature/whatever enough creatures to be with women.

And all of that because of the way our sexuality biologicaly works (but we are human, we are much more then our sexuality and we are much more complicated creatures then animals) and because of social stigma of a man who express his emotions.

When it comes from men - it's like some sort of understanding each other.
When it comes from women - it's like permanent locking a door of any significant interaction with women. Including sex.

[Lycirian]

Actually yes it's because it doesn't come from a men. See these days men aren't the same anymore. Yes we hunters sure, we go after thenwomen it's our nature but sex isn't everything that's why we even get angry. You women think because the nature in us, the hunter ins us by going after a women is just sex and sorry to say but that it's bullshit. If you say that we feel lile we are brainlessxthat we justnwant to hump everything and that isn't the truthmPlease to every women who reads this, stop saying that because you knows as much about as as we know about you.

[Shuri]

You contradicted yourself. Your first sentence says that it's because it comes from a woman but then you go on to say that it's not true. So which is it? Is it because it's coming from a woman or because it's not actually true? It can't be both. Men DO in fact say that they 'know how guys think' very often. I think some men say it so often that they don't even realize how much they say it. And I've seen the same guys who say it get mad when a woman observes that most guys really just want sex from women and nothing else, but they're not upfront about it.

[Lycirian]

I said yes first because of course they get upset or mad because a women say it but if a men say it there is a huge difference in it.

[Ellie-V]

They assume when it’s coming from a man (or one of “their own”), it’s also coming from an empathetic place without added judgement or bias.
The truth is that assumption is wrong—most of the time. When men generalize themselves they are often being cynical and condescending in attempt to remove any romanticized idea that another woman (or sometimes a young boy) would have. They don’t allow others to give men the benefit of the doubt so this whole “empathy “ layer to the conversation is very disingenuous. Most of the time they do this for self serving reasons for example a common scenario if when a lady has platonic relationships but the boyfriend attempts to generalize them all having bad intentions because he is jealous and insecure and he’d rather just shit on other men than actually communicating the root of the issue. Another example is a father trying to justify or encourage violence in his young son (aside from self defense) with that “boys will be boys” attitude because it’s easier to be a lazy parent stuffing your child into gender norms than to educate from a well rounded perspective.

[Shuri]

Oh, I definitely agree it's wrong. My boyfriend isn't like that, and neither is my brother nor my sister's husband. I know too many guys who aren't like that to believe the generalization.

I think you gave a really good response. Thank you!

[Shuri]

I actually think you gave a better response than any of the guys so far on this thread lol

[Ellie-V]

I read through them before answering and immediately called bullshit 😂😂😂

[Belgie]

The two statements are not equivalent and men know this.

A guy can say and do a LOT of fucked up shit for sex. Men know this. We know how men think.

But when a woman says "All men want is sex" she's wrong. When a woman says "All men are the same" she's wrong. We are different, and we do want more than sex. But men know that other men can tell outrageous lies and do extremely dumb things, if there's the chance of some trim at the end of it.

If a woman would say something like "Well, no guy would lie about being a fighter pilot, and spend hundreds of dollars on a fake ID just to impress some girl and have a one night stand..." eh, yeah, the right loser guy with money to burn absolutely could be that stupid. Guys know this.

[Ripper_E]

When I say I know how men think, it's because 1) I am a guy and based on all my time around guys, with no girls around, for the most part, even if a guy really likes you, sincerely, he wants sex. Doesn't mean every guy I'm not saying ONLY wants sex, but they want sex. That's fine. Women want sex too.
However, when a woman says we are all the same, she's throwing her personal experiences and bad judgment calls out and pointing a finger at men. I must be just like the last guy because he only wanted you for sex. Because one guy cheated that means we are all cheaters. My ex cheated and I don't generalize that all women cheat because of my own personal bad experience.

[winterfox10]

Just look at the way questions are phrased on this website; if you believe even a fifth of the questions women ask; men are incredibly temperamental, flaky, judgey, hypercritical, perfectionist, and oppressive. And as men... well... as men we know that this simply isn't the case.

It's because we hear some of the advice women give each other and we see the questions being asked on this website. It is really obvious that women don't generally "get" men, any better than men "get" women. When you hear women sincerely telling each other that men just can't stand stretch marks, and that kissing 5 boys in high school makes you an unloveable slut; you have to take a knee and wonder if women actually believe this stuff about men.

Men feel comfortable making the generalization about men because as men, we have the inside track on what men think. We also know that men are similar enough as a group that we can generally assume things about each other.

[colelydiason]

I think it would be like when siblings fight they can be brutal but if someone else disrespects their sibling they will come flying in to protect.

On the other hand, girls often comment on how all girls are bitches but if a guy says it, hoo boy.

[R3DthatDude]

Because women are not men, but want to generalize every single guy in existence because of their 1 bad experience, that is unfair and not intelligent. Being a guy I’ve been in that mindset in question so I understand what his thinking process is at and the possible reasons for his actions, but how can someone one who doesn’t know what’s its like to be a man tell a man or woman that all men are all the same?

[Shuri]

But it's the same conclusion. So... you're mad because a woman made the same observation as a man about men? That's like me as a black person myself being mad that a white person got an A on an African American History exam. The truth is the truth. Why does it matter who says it?

[R3DthatDude]

Generalizing is always wrong no matter who says it, especially in this subject matter. Because I don’t seek women for sex, that is equivalent to an escort of which I am not which means that statement is wrong already and I’m just 1 person. When a guy says I know how men think he is talking about the moment, but all guys are the same is saying something completely different

[Bandit74]

Is it just because it's coming from a woman and not a guy?

Yes, that and when women say it they are usually expressing frustration with men and saying it with a much more negative/judgmental tone.

[Shuri]

So... basically, men get offended because women are actually right lol. Wanting to be with a woman strictly for sex without letting her know that first is a negative and you should be judged accordingly. That's annoying.

[Bandit74]

Kind of but it isn't necessarily that the guy ONLY wants sex. It's aknowledging that sex is a driving factor and something most guys have on their mind but they can also want an emotional connection too.

[Doflamingo1]

A man’s intentions can be read more easily by other men but, when women think all we want is sex, it irritates us. It’s like saying “all women want a man that is 6 foot”

[bklynbadboy1]

They get offended cause your judging us all for the actions of a few that like me saying all women are whores wouldn't that offend you? I can't judge all women because a few are loose

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why some women get offended when some men say 'Women are all the same/just want money' yet not when girls say 'I know how women think'

[Shuri]

Not really. Most women don't go around saying all women are golddiggers. But guys readily admit they are looking for sex with less hassle.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Maybe in your experiences but those are anecdotes and anecdotes don't provide any data because you are not equivalent to the average. When i can also say not really. Most men don't go around saying all men are players.

[backdoorman]

Same reason it's OK for African American's to use the N word but not someone else?

[Shuri]

There's literally no correlation between the two lol. That's a really terrible comparison hahahaha

[backdoorman]

There is no correlation between the two things, but the reasons behind them are actually quite similar. It's a good comparison IF you actually understand it.

[Shuri]

It actually isn't. One is an observation in behavior. The other is cultural phrase.

[backdoorman]

That cultural phrase is most definitely an observation in behavior. lol

[DudeDiligence]

This

[es20490446e]

Cause women think the same, it's just they are better at hiding it.

[scooogy]

When girls back off, they back off. I don't depend on them.

[johnsmall23]

Because women don't know how men are like and men usually do but not always

[COMMODOREII]

They are both generalization really.

[Shuri]

They are. But they're really the same exact generalization. It's just one comes from a woman and one comes from a man. I'm curious as to why it's okay for a man to make the generalization but not a woman.