Why did he hide his girlfriend away from me?

Question

We’ve been talking for a year he acted like he had no girlfriend the way he way with me so I wouldn’t of known. Me and him don’t live too close to each so he did say ldr never works and he’s got this thing for me where he’d like to see me everyday. Everytime I visited my cousins there (my cousins live in the same hometown as him) he was down for meeting. We had a very strong sexual connection. I always asked him “are u talking to anyone else?” He’d always be like “I’m single xx.” Of course I believed it I had no reason to. So we meet he never takes his eyes or hands off me he’s so touchy and affectionate with me everytime he left he’ll ask for a kiss and hug. But never stayed with me. Even when we was intimidated he’d always be like “look how hard u make me.” And he was like “you’re good company, had a good time with u last time.” He also says how I make him bad and do something to him. I recently found out he has a girlfriend and fuming!! Why do u think he’d even be like this with me if had another girl?

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

If I'm understanding the situation correctly, it sounds like you and him have different relationship objectives in mind that may be interfering with you both being on the same page with this relationship. If he's telling you that he doesn't think it will work because of the distance thing and he's going out of his way to hide his girlfriend from you, but still acts like he likes you, then whether or not he respects you and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or doesn't respect you and is just lying to you, it sounds like the long distance thing and the different paths the two of you would vision with your relationship might be causing some confusion and indecision as to what kind of relationship the two of you are actually going to have. Before you put too much more time and effort into worrying about why he said and did the things he did, maybe you should step back and gain some perspective on what this relationship is to you and what you would like this relationship to be, and if the two are not the same, then it would clear up a few things for you to sit down with him and have a candid conversation about where the two of you see this going and if the two of you want to put an effort into making that relationship go there. It sounds to me like keeping this relationship going is going to be very time consuming and labor intensive due to the distance factor and the fact that the two of you are in different social situations, so logistically, that's going to be a challenge no matter how you slice it.
If he's actually seeing someone else then it sounds like he might not be as committed to a long-term relationship as you are and if that's the case the two of you should really consider having a honest discussion with each other about how you really feel about each other. If I am misreading the situation, then none of the advice I just gave you would be relevant. But if I'm reading the situation correctly, then putting any more thought or effort into where the relationship is going to go is pointless until the two of you actually talk and really discuss where you are and where you both want to be in this relationship. if you are not on the same page, then I don't see how this relationship is going to last, and if you both care enough about each other either way, to either respect each other enough to break off an untenable situation, or to commit yourselves fully to keeping it going, into promoting it into something really important for both of you, I think is the way to go but you should both probably make that determination pretty soon because going the way you are, it sounds like there's a lot of uncertainty and miscommunication going on, and communication really is what's going to keep this relationship alive, or lack of communication will end up destroying it. Under the best of circumstances, long distance relationships get strained and it doesn't sound like these are the best of circumstances that you're in.

Am_and_Pm · Accepted Answer

What I dont seem to understand is... how the f**k is it that u females keep falling for the same guy over and over.

I mean. U hear about it in school. U see it in the movies. U read about it in a book. Tho. I may have actually answered my own question. Its human nature.

I don't know, all I know. Is, I'm mad as hell. And, ladies, ur all awesome.

😋

But TF is teaching u kids how to know which emotion is right and which is wrong. I feel like that's where the core of many daily struggles lie.

lucky840 · Accepted Answer

Dang that's harsh! Man I would have so many questions even after breaking it off... 1st would probably be when is my apartment to get checked cuz who knows..🙄 and then.. Does she know anything about you? How long they been together? Like the whole time you been talking? Do they have kids? How many others are/where there? Where any of the things he said genuine? How can I trust anything the next guy I get involved with? I mean a few weeks or couple of months is one thing but a whole freaking year.. like wtf he's a complete douchebag. Like I grew up and lived most of my life in a town with a population of 32,000. So it was easy to do my homework on someone before I got involved weather it was a one nighter thing or 2 years. Now a days with online and long distance relationships it's so much harder to find out things you need to know about peoples personal life.

Zarapeachy · Accepted Answer

I haven’t read it at all and you may not like what I have to say but sweetie MOVE ON. You’re asking strangers to validate your point and you’re supporting those who tell you there is potential in you and him but questioning those who say leave him. LEAVE HIM. It is hard. It is soul crashing to be exact. It makes every part of you die but you’re really going to sit here at 23 and question yourself? Take the heartbreak now. Take the suffering now. But move on.

I-C3_ME · Answer

Ait ok you seem like a sweet girl, but let this go. I've seen you post this like 4times now. I don't want to be a jerk but this ain't helping and this ain't healthy, your replunging yourself into the feeling of betrayal every time and it won't go away until you let go.

Is it easy? No
Will it be over fast? Maybe
Will you come out better? Yes

nonratracereality · Answer

Stop using your brain. Use theirs. Because your standards are a bit low what tends to happen is guys with an idea feel they can manipulate the situation to their advantage where they do less work and get more than they bargained for. And since he became one with you in order to be on the same page requires work on both sides. There was no real behavioral change so no alarm even though he was getting skin. What dummy amongst dummies would tell his current that he has another current. Would that sit well?

Angelo75 · Answer

Trust me when I say... He just wanted to keep both of u.
It's a very selfish act and a person like that wouldn't sacrifice himself for you.
He'd choose for himself over you. That's not how love is supposed to be.

Just open up your eyes for the whole bunch of other guys dying to date you, who are willing to be your lifemate.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're the side-chick silly. Or the backup plan. Absolutely no mystery here.
So, the way I see it, you basically have two choices...
1. If you want him, work to earn his loyalty. What have YOU done to snag him?
2. Dump his lying ass and get a guy you don't have so much confusion with.

In any case, quite whining about what HE does and base your decisions for yourself on YOUR criteria. Live your life for YOU.

triff · Answer

A player does that They charm your pants off If it doesn't work they have their girlfriend to return to He shows he has no regards towards women He knows how to play her by letting he feel and giving the attention he knows what she wants

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

He might be with you because there's something in the relationship he's not getting from his girlfriend. It'd be best to find a new person. Otherwise you'll be in a lot of trouble once his girlfriend finds out.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

He just wanted to have sex with you and he lied to get what he wanted.

Squirts93 · Answer

You were his backup plan. The curse of being atrractive is that you date other attractive people and both of them have options that they aren't willing to burn bridges with, so they keep it on the down low to plan for the worst but hope for the best.

SirBearon · Answer

He just wants some pussy from a chick he can have no real connection with. You're probably fine as fuck and he just wants some of that delicious pussy once in a while and your attention feeds his ego. Go give up that pussy to a guy who will at least be forward with you. Respect yourself.

ChocoBrownieMonster · Answer

He is a very dishonest person. To hide his girlfriend means he is a cheat. That means he has no intention of developing a trusting relationship.

DJB72 · Answer

He was either cheating - most likely - or in an open relationship.

But if he was in an open relationship why wouldn't he be open about it in the first place?

So I'd say he was wanting to cheat on his girlfriend by sleeping with you.

AlienParasite · Answer

He hid his girlfriend from you because he knows that if he says from the very beginning he's not single he's less likely to convince you (or any other girl) to have sex with him.

Sam23685 · Answer

Sounds like he's not happy in his relationship or sex is bad with his girlfriend. Many reasons why he's doing this.

AndyOh · Answer

He wanted a little piece on the side, and you were going to be it. Good that you found out he had girlfriend. Stop talking to this loser.

MissRomantic · Answer

Well, maybe because he thought you wouldn't agree to give him sexual favours if you knew he was taken. Another thing is that he wants you to think that there's a chance at a relationship with him.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Because he wanted to have sex with you and cheat on his girlfriend obviously. Not every one is a decent human being.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

He should not be hiding a girlfriend, he should be able, to tell the truth this is where some people screw up and too many chances to come clean will not do anything

menina · Answer

Because he's liar and a cheater. Stay away from him.

Serenitykayyy · Answer

It’s simple, he wanted to keep you and his girlfriend. That’s why he hid her.

Virgo31 · Answer

What you should do is contact his girlfriend so that y'all can both confront him. He's sounds like trash to me.

Why did he hide his girlfriend away from me?

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