He said “i never invite him over” ?

Question

Been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks. Everything was going rest until this week. I haven’t really heard from him. So i texted him and asked him “why you never invite me over your house you always ask to come here?”
And he replied “my house is kind of tacky”
And i said “so what?”
That’s when he said “you never invite me over”
And i said “yes i do” and he said “when is the last time you invited me over?”
And i said “i invited you over the other day”
And that’s when he said “no i asked to come over after the club.. i initiate coming over to you”

After this conversation he has been kind of quiet on me. Not sure what to do?

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

It's possible that he's embarrassed or ashamed of something about his household that he's too embarrassed to tell you about or there could be a different reason all together. If he is unwilling to give any indication whatsoever about what it is about his place that he's so self-conscious about then it could be something shady or something that is not entirely honest about his intentions toward you. Without asking for specifics just tell him generally what it is about his living situation that he's so embarrassed about, because you won't judge him based on something superficial you just want to know that it has nothing to do with you. If she's not willing to tell you anything to reassure you then there's something going on and he's hiding something from you they shouldn't be. Being a guy I can see being embarrassed about the neighborhood I live in or the type of people that live next door or maybe I share the residence with but I would feel compelled to at least elaborate that it's one of those things even if I'm not comfortable saying specifically what about that specific thing I'm comfortable about. If he tells you nothing at all then that's disrespectful right there he should at least tell you something and not try to put you on the defensive by demanding to know why you don't invite him to your place. If you're okay with him visiting your place then I recommend breaking the ice with that, and if you're not comfortable with it, then give him some kind of indication as to why you're not comfortable, in the hopes of opening the door that he might tell you something about why he's uncomfortable with you seeing his place. In his position I would feel I'd at least owe it to you to tell you something.

glutton4punishment · Accepted Answer

You're asking people on here, about why he'd feel a little shunned, that you dont ask him to come over.. Which, you actually wish he would.. along with just talkin to ya, in general..

Which he actually wishes, you'd want him to do.. Signified by your ever actually having inviting him at any point, since you two started dating..(without) his feeling like he had to twist your arm, to do so.

.. and you dont see a solution, here?

Not sure how old ya are but assuming you have your own place, to where he (can) actually come over if he liked, then do this...

Lay in your bed wearing something "revealing". Lingerie, an oversized T-Shirt, Men's dress shirt, etc. Something sexy, at any rate.. but clearly NOT something one would expect, to keep that person "warm"..

Which is the exact sentiment you should try and get across to him, when sending him a selfie, with the caption of...

"Brrrr.. it's cold in here.. Sigh, if only someone would come over and keep me warm"..

Lol, or something along those lines, anyhow..

Cause that'd certainly make me forget about, any pety reason I may have had, for being irked with ya!

Let alone, help me to feel far more welcome in doing so, then my having to twist your arm... yet again.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

So you asked him why he never invites you over? That does show you're interested, so why others are saying he initiates everything, I don't get that... You clearly showed your like him to invite you over... And then the lame excuse and the turning it on you 🤔 Sounds like there's a different reason other than "a tacky place" why he really doesn't have you over... Could be he really is embarrassed about where he lives, but could be something else... If he will only come to your place, but never have you come to his, I'd think that's a potential red flag... Same as if he makes excuses every time you ask him to come over... If people really want to spend time with you, they'll find a way to make it happen... Sometimes they really are busy, or it's a bad time... But EVERY time, there's something else or someone else going on there...
Don't let everything always be just on someone else's time, terms...

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Uhhh that was a very odd Pivot.

yoy asked him why he doesn’t invite you Over. He says His house is tacky. Since that doesn’t bother you he looks for a diff excuse? 🤨

this seems sketchy.

I believe you whrn you say you invited him over. He is either insecure but wants to hang out or insecure and playing games.

Just very clearly invite him over. When he makes excuses you will know he was playing games and you can decide if that’s the kind of boyfriend you want.

If he comes over then Invite yourself to his for next time.

Grond21 · Answer

He feels like he's been initiating everything. This is the kind of situation where a guy will stop talking to a girl not because he's not interested but to see if she is interested herself. If she never initiates, then nothing will happen. So you need to start initiating. Both conversations and dates

MrImp · Answer

Him asking is a clear indication he wants to spend time with you.
I get that some girls don’t really ask those questions a lot. I don't know why myself, but it’s normal.
Some guys however don’t like to intrude on privacy and want to have your approval by you asking him instead. That way we guys feel more welcome.

He seems like a very good and considerate guy. Not a lot of those going around.

Try asking him a few times. Normally he’ll feel more confident in asking you to come over to his place in the future!

hahahmm · Answer

You seriously don't see what's going on? He clearly pointed out that you never invited him to your place. As in you never did it on your own. he always had to beg/start it. So if you invite him over now you will be getting out of that rut. Maybe he will invite you to his place right after that.

Sounds like he's very self conscious about his place. When he trusts you enough he'll invite you over.

Jjpayne · Answer

He sounds a little pushy and maybe even looking for sex... I suppose you could feel him out. But I'm going to assume he will push for sex whenever you see each other in person. But my personal opinion, if a guy is pushy like that, let him go. It's a bad sign for the future. You want a guy that is wanting to meet up, not one that is arguing about how and when you meet up

supercutebutt · Answer

Encourage him to hang a gloryhole blanket or sheet right behind his front or back door so that you won't be able to see the tackiness inside. All you will see is his peen poking through the hole cut in the fabric. Then you can get busy and you will both be happy. :)

Browneye57 · Answer

You need to decide how much you really value and appreciate this guy. If it's strong and high, be sure to let him know how much he means to you, how much you adore him, how he's the most important thing in your life. If not, cut him loose so he can find someone who does, and you can find someone you can.

Screenwriter · Answer

Something isn't right. I had this occur. Made it easy for the guy to cut out. If he doesn't, maybe he's married or living with someone, or is in a neighborhood where people would see you and ask questions. If he doesn't, find someone else.

Tiffanyrosebarbie · Answer

I have been with a few guys who never invited me to their place and all of them had a girlfriend or a crazy ex girlfriend. I would invite myself over to his. After the club sounds like he maybe just uses you.

pajamasam · Answer

I would try and ask him over now, or invite him over whenever your going to be free again. If he still is acting weird when you plainly invited him over, he's being a little bitch.

likelyOK · Answer

Not sure this wording is strange, he sounds interested in sex but it’s hard to understand what he is saying. But it would make me more curious about his place, like is it a mess?

Finchie40 · Answer

Either he is embarrassed by his place or how he lives or he has someone else living with him that you don’t
Know about , or he is a mass murderer and he has
Dead bodies he still needs to dispose of , Bottom line something is shady

1Sophisticatedme · Answer

It sounds like he wants to explore his fish pond and not be with you anymore. I say, go with the flow, but be prepare to have no boyfriend anymore.

Berethor · Answer

Invite him to your house and after that tell him that next time you want to come to his house.

TallAnon · Answer

To be blunt, if he's already complaining and there's not even a "honeymoon" phase, then he isn't that into you. He doesn't seem to make any effort to make this work, so that means neither should you, in my opinion.

John_Galt · Answer

9 times out of 10 in relationships... this is the answer:   “Just have an honest, open and probably uncomfortable conversation”!

FreyaRed · Answer

"Where is honest will, there's determination to find a way."  Keep him at distance until he finds for you a satisfying solution.

Massageman · Answer

This conversation just isn't even logical. He is changing the subject whenever he feels he is losing the argument - which is often.  I'd say it is time to move on.

Gedaria · Answer

Why are you so keen to go to his place. But I feel he seems as some reluctantance to go to his. I wonder why..

Footballplayz · Answer

I have been in this situation. He is testing you to see if you will initiate anything. I've done this with friends. I suggest you initiate a date or invite him over or ask to go over there

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You're only three weeks in with this guy. What's your assessment at this point?

He said “i never invite him over” ?

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