He said "we should hang out sometime", but didn't actually invite me?

[Anonymous]

I'm seeing this man. We talk for hours over the phone... we kissed, hugged, etc.. but he hasn't invited me anywhere.

Once I asked him to join me to my dentist appointment in another city, he came along... we bought some drinks and then he saw a movie poster, said "we should watch it", but that was it. No real mention for a date or anything.

I was going on a vacation, he said "we could have gone somewhere, but you hurry to go with your friends". He didn't invite me though, just made a suggestion.

He doesn't make any real effort to take me out. I feel like I'm not a priority or that he isn't really interested. What should I do?

[EricSummer]

You can suggest a date from your side. He said that he would like to hang out with you, so you can just build on that and really give the time and place for something.

I realize that dating is not entirely symmetrical, but when I'm at the point that she says we should hang out then I try to reel in the catch and make it a date.

[Jamie05rhs]

What was your response to him when he said those things?

[Asker]

I think I just ignored it. Maybe that was my mistake.

[Jamie05rhs]

You ignored him? Wow.

[Jamie05rhs]

So that's why he never took it any further. Because you shut him down. He read the signs and he read that you had zero interest in going out with him.

[Jamie05rhs]

But wait a minute. I have a question:
How are you "seeing" him if you're not even going out? Like, you said that you guys kissed and hugged. ... But how?

[Asker]

We work together. That's how. And I invited him for a trip... he said "yes", but I'm sort of scared he will change his mind

[Asker]

Do you think I should invite him for movie first?

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; thanks for that additional information. That helps me understand better.

[Jamie05rhs]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with inviting him to a movie OR inviting him on a trip.

I would have gone with the movie first and progressed upward. But that's just my personal opinion. Not everyone does things the same way. So you two want to go on a trip together, go for it! :)

[Jamie05rhs]

If he said "yes" to the trip, have you followed up with him about that? You guys need to coordinate and plan out the details.

[Asker]

Do you believe that he said "yes" just to avoid hurting me and will change his mind later... he wasn't really sure saying "yes". I fear that he will reject my efforts.

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. Well, did you ask him about a specific trip? Or was it more general?

[Screenwriter]

ASK him what's up. Ask why he hasn't asked you out. Maybe HE wants to be asked. He could be shy. But you have little to no information. Present it to him just as you've presented it here.

[Emanon25]

I don’t think he’s serious, he’s just talking and not interested to move forward.

[Asker]

You mean he is just passing time.

[Emanon25]

That’s what I think, as you said he didn’t even invite you or something.

[Asker]

He invites me for a lunch at the lunch break (we work together), but that's it. He has troubles at work and is really stressed. Cannot say if that has something to do with that.

[Emanon25]

Follow me if you like to talk privately

[Emanon25]

Lunch at work doesn’t mean much.

[Sparkie460]

It seems like he doesn't know how to officially ask you out

[slatyb]

Date someone who cares.