My boyfriend has a spotify playlist dedicated to his ex... weird?

[ThatWeirdOne]

It has been concerning me. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a few months but we have been friends for about 4-5 years. He and I use each other's phones all the time and I saw that he has a spotify playlist for his ex and he regularly updates it. It concerns me because the songs he adds to the playlist are always about how he misses her or songs about romance between them. The most recent one was Moonlight by Hobo Johnson. He and I live in different towns and everytime he goes back home, he messages her. I understand that a healthy relationship will always stay a healthy relationship with good memories. So people you care about you'd want to stay in contact with them. But this has been irritating and confusing me and honestly it hurts my heart a lot. The songs he adds to it that remind him or her... you'd think he was single waiting for her. I love him so much. But I would like to avoid any heartbreak before it's too late. Our relationship is open communication but I'm not sure how to go about approaching this situation or what to say honestly. But I want to understand and not just jump to conclusions and leave him because he might be in love with someone else. Any suggestions or opinions are welcomed. I would like to know other perspectives to this.

[Melvinb6521]

This is not healthy at all.
I've got fond memories of my exes too. But I don’t have a playlist of songs for her. And if I did have that, I wouldn’t be updating it regularly. It sounds like those feelings are updating regularly too.


You deserve a man that will make you the star of his playlists as well. He may not be cheating. We will never know. But I’m sure he will explore whatever with the ex that she allows him to.


Songs touch us because they are true to our hearts or relatable. I can’t tell you what to do. But if my sister told me the same story, I would feel be mad if she stayed with him.


Cheating doesn’t have to be physical. If he betrays your love, it is still inexcusable.

[Anonymous]

I think he's entitled to his feelings and his privacy. It's strange for him to have a playlist like that, but I think it's alright and arguably healthy to let himself feel those emotions so he can process it. Still, if it bothers you, it is worth bringing up.

You have that open-communication relationship and that's great. Talk about it. Let him know your concerns, your feelings. Obviously, be careful not to make any accusations and hear him out.

I know I'd be bothered and a little hurt to know the person I'm dating is still dealing with feelings for their ex, but I also recognize that it's normal to have those moments of nostalgia or "what if" thoughts. We can't help it and it doesn't mean we aren't happy or want anything to change. It's just a big part of our life that happened which of course left an impression that we carry with us. It's sad, it's beautiful, it's sometimes painful, and it's entirely human.

That's how I see it, anyway.

[In_Trance]

Why are you with a guy that's hung up on an ex?