Are some guys just too passive to ask a woman out?

Question

I heard that. But i am a very passive lady. I wait for men to do every step.

Novacane · Accepted Answer

I am passive but that's because I know what women go through, I've had many friends that are women and would always complain about how men are always trying to talk to them and how they want to be left alone, I've also seen many people online complaining about that. I also know that a lot of women get catcalled which I agree is just wrong. Therefore when I think about talking to a girl all this comes to my mind. I literally start thinking about what they will think of me. I can already tell that they will think "another guy trying to talk to me" and no matter what a woman will always judge a man when approaching doesn't matter if there are good intentions. Therefore I don't want to add to their list of men trying to talk to her while she's just doing her. That's why I never approach unless I know they are interested. Even then I am a bit hesitant because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable in any way that I rather just remove myself out of the equation.

exitseven · Accepted Answer

I don't think I was passive. Scared to death was more like it. I liked a girl and I sort of thought she liked me too. My friends told me that I should tell her how I felt. I was too afraid to. A couple of years later I came back and looked her up. I went over to talk to her and we made a date for the next day. I went to her house and her mother told me she was at work which I knew was a lie because I stopped where she worked to see if she wanted a ride home (she had no car). She called to tell me she had to work late and not to wait around for her which I knew was a lie. The thing that she doesn't know is that I had a whole speech in my head. I was going to tell her how I felt and if she was interested I would move there and get a job and maybe we would move in together.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Yes some men are too passive. But far more girls are too passive. Do you want someone else to run your life, bring 'fate' to you, or do you want to take it, and direct it yourself?

Agem123 · Accepted Answer

Yep Lack of confidence, communication skills and experience 🤷🏻

Anonymous · Answer

Then you'll get nowhere, girl.

At the very least, you need to know how to flirt, and actually do some flirting. A guy can be expected to make the first step. And even a few steps. But all of them?

What the fuck are you bringing to the table?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I wait for women to do every step, never asked a woman out in my entire life, not because I think I can't but because I just never found anyone in the united states that was open enough to know whether or not they would be worth asking until after they have either already asked me, or they made it known that they were taken already. exceptions exist but I don't want to dare a streamer or gaming celeb for introvert reasons.

For this reason I prefer assertive women, as it speeds up forcing them to open up when i initially refuse their advances, because at that point they have to make their case as to why I should change my mind. I've had a few girlfriends in the past, all were the type to openly admit they liked me.

K-I-S-S · Answer

I don't do it.

Childhood wasn't very good and after that didn't felt really wanted. I have had girlfriends and together with current one for 10 years. Also good at what i do, fit, pretty succesful, skillful etc etc.

I am dominant among guys and in my relationships, so no problem there.

I just feel not wanted really, especially by women. They get hit on or talked to too often so why add the annoyance. "But of course they would like to meet me, i'm special"😅

I mostly hang by myself, not really social with outsiders.

Let them hang with whoever they want.

normalice · Answer

Unlikely to be a reason. Guys generally don't ask girls out because they don't want to give the impression that they are open to the possibility of a committed relationship. Or because it is considered weakness to make one's ambitions known - once other people know what you want they can take it and use it to control you or humiliate you for failure.

Unit1 · Answer

I still remember those insane hormones and adrenaline effect, which felt like a real physical restraint telling a woman I have feelings for, that I like her. Sounds crazy but that's part of growing up 😁 Eventually many of us will get used to it. First rejection is likely always the worst one but the 100. th one will feel like another breath.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Yes, some guys are too shy or just feel like they aren't good enough for that reason.

I definitely feel like I've had at least one chance to at least talk to a girl, but I felt awkward, when I look back at it, not that I was going to ask her out either.

chiozok1 · Answer

yeah. i guess the more you like her the scarier it is. Literally you can have everything planned in your head and how to approach, and you will think you are ready to tell her the next day. But then the next day comes along, and in real life, face-to-face, you cannot manage to do it. So basically it's all in your head, but you cannot make the move, because that may create effects that you are not sure of. But, if a man has a good hunch and a lot of obvious hints that she would respond favorably, then I don't think we would be scared at all. It is the uncertainty that makes it quite scary.

Anonymous · Answer

And I wait for women to do every step lol

The "rules", especially when it comes to who should do what is ridiculous to me. I also hate dating (the process) so I rarely ever ask anyone out. I've also been turned down EVERY single time, when I actually have, so I gave up a long time ago. I'll stay single lol.

loveslongnails · Answer

Obviously, "some guys" are too afraid to ask women out for fear of rejection. They either wait for the woman to make a definitive more, or they never date. If you are so passive as to not give off any indication to a man that you may be interested, you just reduce your chances of getting asked out.

Unbeatable · Answer

Good job on calling it passivity and not shyness...

I could easily ask a girl out and get rejected without feeling hurt. But i dont because its a waste of my time at the moment to pursue random women who are just completely mysterious. Way too much effort to find a good one.

If she were in my social circle, id be less passive.

dragoblack · Answer

Some of us are oblivious to flirting, some don't know if she's just flirting or just being nice, some have had horrible ex-girlfriends, some are just shy, some have no confidence, some it is anxiety, and in my position, fear of people due to long childhood trauma of major social abuse.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Some guys are. Most guys won't make a move unless you make it clear that you want him to approach. A very small number of guys lack the social awareness enough to be able to approach random women, and even fewer have the confidence to do that well.

EaterPeter · Answer

Yes guys can be very passive. The least you can do is if someone is being passive active with you, you want to make sure you encourage ethem or at least not discourag or ridicule them. We have to get go or no go from you. Without that it is anything but consent.

Djaay · Answer

Don't wait for situations to arise. You make situations happen by intiating yourself to interest you have with something or someone. Listen to another's idea of your interest In them and go from there. If there not interested , smile and move on , it ain't nothing. Always another.

t-8900 · Answer

until I was about 26 I was paralyzed with fear when I woman I liked try to flirt with me. I could shoot it with the guys all day. But because I never had a mother in my life I really didn't understand women at all.

KibblesBits · Answer

yes in equal numbers as women, but people don't realize it because these men are expected to perform self abuse (i. e. start relationships even when they're passive).

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know about passive but i don't ask women out. I honestly just don't see any woman to be WORTH more than a friendship. Women change when you ask them out up till you ask them out they're a fairly rationale human being. But all that changes after you ask them out.
I don't know if that answered your question. But i tried.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not, girls have rejected me or I’ve been that dude off”I don’t know”. I’m in shape, im patient, straight forward, I give space, have a masters degree, saving money, cook good food, I love to make others laugh, I’m decent looking... never had a girlfriend. I guess girls have super high expectations.

Birdlegs · Answer

I’ve never asked anyone out in my life I’ve reached out to girls through dms before but that’s just me fuckin around if I’m bored but every girl I’ve ever messed with has made the first move to me

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Not really passive. Just scared of the consequences if things go wrong. So we choose to remain silent and just leave the girls alone. It's safer that way.

williamHD · Answer

I told a girl I liked her and she rejected me I wouldn’t say it’s passiveness more confirmation because why waste time when the person could possibly say no until you know how they feel

Anonymous · Answer

Men are no different than women. Women act like men aren't scared of anything or something. I look over my shoulder at night just like you. You approach us if you know we like u and u like us. Every girl acting nice how tf are we suppose to know who tf likes us when 90% turn us down

Jersey2 · Answer

Girls today will have to ask guys out. Back in the day she would tell her friend which would tell his friend which would tell him that she likes him.

TheBootyChest · Answer

Yes we are passive. Especially if we are shy.  But why are you so passive? (It's probably the same reason guys are too.)

Anonymous · Answer

Well probably since most guys are getting bored with all the mindgames girls are playing. Or most guys just don't see the hints.  What is so wrong with girls taking the first step?

pigoat · Answer

Nah i can ask a girl out after i soften her up I don't know how to soften her up within 5 min though

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Nah I don't even ask girl for walk with me  Forget out.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

And how do you let the guy know that you are interested in him and that he can approach you without making you uncomfortable about it?

Dragonpurple · Answer

I was, couldn't ask any one out for a very long time... ultra shy and missed out a lot in life.

Anonymous · Answer

I unfortunately am. Even when its obvious the girl has mutual interest, I fuck it up. The only time I came close to asking in person, the girl disappeared.

Levin · Answer

Low self confidence and self-satiation most likely.

NightOfTheSun · Answer

Some guys are too nervous to ask the woman or don't want to be rejected so they avoid asking anyone out

humanearth · Answer

I would say more afraid to. Then passive. All a woman as to say one thing and the man can go to jail.

SirJohn42 · Answer

Yes guys are afraid of rejection or never grow a nerve to ask a gal out.  To shy or nervous that they never get the nerve to talk to the lady.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes they can be or not passive but simply crap at talking to girls nicely or being interesting etc.

_no_one_ · Answer

It's called, selective anxiety. Sometimes people are afraid to talk to a particular group and they can't really hell it cuz they aren't used to it.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

I am. I am shy and intimidated by women's beauty that I'm attracted to. I find it hard to say hi sometimes let alone ask them out.

Willoughby23 · Answer

I only ask them out on dating sites, everyone is there for the same reason and if u matched with her she already kinda signaled that she is attracted to you. It also removes the fear of public rejection.

Browneye57 · Answer

You can wait 'till the cows come home.  And yes, the really weak ones you don't want anyway.

DWornock · Answer

It is a woman's responsibility to make the first move by smiling and saying "Hi" or otherwise doing something to indicate that she is approachable.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes a lot of are, a lot of them hate and resent having to be the hunter or have always resented the status quo of how guys are expected to be the initiators in starting the relationship, it's like why can't women go after men too right?

Massageman · Answer

Passive? Some I am sure. Afraid of rejection? Probably a bit more likely.

DamnSam · Answer

Oh thats what its called... Didn't ask my crush for a date 3 years now...

Twalli · Answer

If you don't make it clear you like me you'd have ti be a 15 for ne to be willing to ask you out. I haven't met a 10 yet.

misanthropistkev · Answer

Yes lots of guys are passive and some off us are really dense not dumb dense meaning we miss a lot of hints

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Yeah, especially the shy ones, if you are passive and likes a shy guy, I'm pretty sure that you will get nowhere

Daniel_Dano · Answer

Definitely I know how that feels, everytime talking to a girl who is a stranger will make my heart beat crazy

JamieLoves · Answer

I won’t answer any “ Anonymous “ questions anymore!

Shy_Steve · Answer

Most of us Guys are Shy so you might be waiting a while.

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah after a lot of rejections in a row you eventually stop asking

shalt · Answer

Ugh yeah lmao, and if he doesn't have friends supporting him and he's under 20, absolutely

Tel86 · Answer

Takes me a lot 2 ask a girl out. It's like a courage thing

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah if we don’t know for sure you’re single we probably won’t ask you out

boggboss · Answer

Lol why do u find that hard to believe

Avicenna · Answer

Some, but they’re a small minority

Iron_Man · Answer

Probably very shy

jasco · Answer

Yea its called shyness and maybe for some laziness

scooogy · Answer

Why judge guys if ýou're passive yourself?

Waldoe · Answer

yes some guys are very shy

OddBeMe · Answer

Yeah, but you don't make it easy on us.

Are some guys just too passive to ask a woman out?

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