My friend always gets hard/boner when he’s around me and I don’t know why?

[Sarahbbb]

Basically, he’s my best friend. He tells me everyday I’m like his sister and wishes me to find a good guy etc.. I’m not his type and he def is not mine. Sometimes when we are watching movies he’s next to me in the bed and hugs me so tight and I can feel his boner... and he always says : “Oh I need to shower “after we hug🤷🏻‍♀️ And sometimes he gets on top of me and just says “ I will never leave you, or are u ok” seriously, this has happened so many times I don't know what to think anymore BECAUSE HE KEEPS SAYING I’m like his sister and he doesn’t find me attractive nor at his taste. I find the situation very very veryyy confusing. Is this normal? why is this happening? PS: I’ve pushed him away many times but this keeps happening

[shade_19]

Well he calls to like a sister, now i don't know how he thinks of sisters (lol Alabama, jk)
Anyways it's honestly not necessarily that u fell boner when u r with someone u really like
Like if a female body is new (or make body) then your body gets that arousel whether you control it or no. And I don't know if he's boner is hard or semi erect.
But yes, he's getting over ur body..(like girls hugging teddy) Even if he's not date you... but maybe he's enjoying your body... ehhhhh😬😬😬
Coz honestly watever u said is what I'd do to girl whom i wanna sexually cuddle with. Not that i don't hug my cousin sisters but i honestly when i was a kid 13-14 yr old i would get boners... but as time passes my body doesn't react much to her... but she's my cousin and ur still not that blood related.. so still... just tell him that u r fine to in a one hand distance
Also I don't know if to like him or to to think him as a brother

[Sarahbbb]

Well, its a full erection and he always needs to shower afterwards... A friend would never be on top of another friend would they?
Maybe its only physical and I should just distance myself

[shade_19]

Yea... no friend would be top of other friend in that way... have u ever wondered why he needs a shower afterwards? Does he feel grossed bout u or is he masturbating in there😬 ... well anyways... i would say keep a distance and say him so.. touching hand on appropriate way is fine... but he's just getting too intimiate in my opinion

[Sarahbbb]

Yes it should stop. Since we both don't want to be with each other

[shade_19]

Yea..

[TDeans1987]

Respectfully he is lying about not being attracted to you. As someone who is roughly his age I do know that sometimes these things just happen and its actually a sign of good sexual health. But for it to keep happening around you means that at the very least he finds you very sexually attractive.

I have to ask though, 99.9% of the time I can successfully hide my "redirected blood flow". How do you keep noticing he has an erection?

[Sarahbbb]

When he hugs me I can feeel it... and he pushes himself next to me so I can feel it! Ofc we are alone so there’s no other person to be attracted tooo and its always when he touches me... and he keeps telling me “you are like my sister and I dont look at you that way” that’s why I’m confused.

[TDeans1987]

Well there is another possibility. I am assuming that you are an attractive woman. Even if you and I were friends lets say we were sat on a sofa and were sort of cuddling, just like friends do, not intimately but just to be comfy. If you were attractive even if I saw you as a friend and had no intention of ever pursuing a romantic relationship with you sometimes as men we cannot control that part of our anatomy. If we are in that much close proximity it would be almost impossible not to at least become partially aroused. Its unfortunate and often embarrassing. But ask anyone. Ask any man if you were to say spoon while lying on a bed would he become aroused. Its usually impossible not to and the person cannot help it. But either way it is still a sign that he is attracted to you. He should however try and be a little more subtle about it. He would know when he has become excited and shouldn't press that up against you!

[Sarahbbb]

Thank you for your answer. Men are so different then women lol! He should just be honest with me instead. I will distance myself from him then

[I_love_you_3000]

He loves you. He wants to be more than friends but too scared to tell you. He doesn't wanna ruin the friendship and hopes you dont notice.

[Sarahbbb]

Actually, he knows I can feel it and he def doesn’t want to be more thn friends

[Anonymous]

Well at that age most of us w a lot of sexual desires n high testosterone levels would get a boner at the slightest touch. It doesn’t mean we’re thinking of something sexually when that happens, sometimes it just does. But if you’re attractive he may just want to screw you even if you aren’t his type. We as men have that ability to detach feelings from a sexual encounter.

[Sarahbbb]

I’m actually 27 and he’s 33 y. o! I think he can control himself no? Thanks for ur answer ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

Even at that age it just happens. You will never understand that unless somehow miraculously you could be a male for a day. I’m older myalgia, even than it still happens. It doesn’t mean I’m sexually turned on, it just happens.

[Sarahbbb]

Ok so I should forget about it

[Opinion Owner]

Well the question is do you like him as more than a friend? It’s hard to tell because yes that happens a lot but I don’t know of too many men who would spoon w a girl n not feel something sexual even as friends. Also the fact that he gets on top of you, I think there’s more there then he’s saying.

[Avicenna]

Well, you may not be compatible with him as a potential boyfriend, but he definitely finds you physically attractive

[Sarahbbb]

How can I stop this? ;( I dont want to loose my best friend

[Avicenna]

Insist on proper boundaries for a platonic male friend- he should not be in the bed with you and most definitely never on top of you.

[Sarahbbb]

I did and he always comes back close to me or tries to touch me.
Might end the friendship 💔

[Avicenna]

If he can't respect those boundaries, you should. His behavior is very worrisome.

[Solverofquestionz]

Reading this makes me feeling like they are into you. No real friend sits on top of you. He is prob in love with you and can't express it apart from sitting on you. Boners can just happen randomly but in this case he likes you. Might want to have a talk with him.

[exitseven]

I think he is confused. He has a physical connection to you and does not know how to deal with it. Or maybe he does not know how to express it. Maybe you feel the same way towards him.

[Sarahbbb]

No he sees me as a sister but gets erections when he hugs me or touches me and always needs to shower afterwards and yet want no relationship with me except the fact that I'm his best friend and like his sister... men are weird lol
PS:I have 0 feelings for him.

[Abdulwahh]

Honestly it seem like you have some feelings for him before

[TadCurious]

Despite what he says, from what you wrote it sounds like he does have feelings and sexual attraction for you beyond just friends.

[Sarahbbb]

Maybe only sexual attraction. He still considers me as his sister lol. Im distancing myself from him now...

[Iron_Man]

He doesn't think of you like a sister if he gets sexually aroused by you

[Sarahbbb]

I think he does think of me as a sister because he keeps telling me, “ I want you to meet someone and be happy” I don’t understand him

[Wise4myage]

His hormones are raging and he likes you more than you think.

[Sarahbbb]

He said im not his type

[Wise4myage]

Than what else would make him hard?

[Sarahbbb]

I don’t know! He said Im like his sister so...

[Wise4myage]

It’s most likely just his hormones but you should say something cause it sounds like this bothers you.

[Sarahbbb]

It bothers me and if I say anything our friendship will be over... :(

[Wise4myage]

Why?

[Sarahbbb]

I don’t know! I asked him once if there was something or he felt something for me he said : NO U ARE LIKE MY SISTER... so I don't know anymore 🤦🏻‍♀️

[nawtee_me]

Have you tried to walk in on him when he has to shower? Maybe shower with him? Friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

Its not his fault he most likely has penilestrogunction dyslexia

[Sarahbbb]

What is this? Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Look it up its very serious...

[Sarahbbb]

I couldn’t find it in google that’s why I asked

[Opinion Owner]

Weird...

[Sarahbbb]

Could you explain it to me?

[Opinion Owner]

I actually lied to you

[Opinion Owner]

Lol sorry

[FilmGuy93]

Obviously you aren't "like a sister" to him.

[Sarahbbb]

From previous comments, I think its just a physical attraction and he really thinks of me as a sister and doesn’t want to be with me as he keeps repeating to me everyday

[OddBeMe]

Yeah he wants you. But maybe it will pass...

[Sarahbbb]

it's been almost a year...

[OddBeMe]

Shit sorry. That’s a friendship down the drain. Mature guys can control our erections.

[Sarahbbb]

He's 34y. o. It's sad because he was my best friend and can't even tell me he's attracted to me

[OddBeMe]

There’s maybe a chance a tough love talk could turn it back to friendship zone.

[Sarahbbb]

I did tell him I liked someone else and he heard me talking to him. He wished me good luck with that guy but Still, the same night he got aroused when he was hugging me and I COULD FEEL EVERYTHING then he had to shower.
I tried to keep the friendship as I don't want to loose him but this keeps happenning and it's very strange

[OddBeMe]

At that age it’s on him. He should be able to control that shit. He’s doing it on purpose. Probably to other chicks too.

[Sarahbbb]

Not to other women bc I've been the only one in his life since June 2020... He def got me confused

[OddBeMe]

Well I guess two options: tough love talk which could lead to never speaking again, or ignore until it goes away... hopefully.

[Sarahbbb]

You are a guy, would you accept it if your best friend told you; why do you get aroused? what's going on? or it would be awkward?
I'm sure he'll say I'm like his sister lol

[OddBeMe]

Yeah it’d be awkward. But hopefully he’s mature enough to know he did wrong. Might not be, so the end of friendship is possible.

[Sarahbbb]

Will try and talk to him then... thanks

[OddBeMe]

Sorry guys are so gross sometimes. If he doesn’t know what he’s doing he’s not much of a friend

[Sarahbbb]

No mean are just different but I got a lot of good advice here :)

[andy530]

He finds you attractive

[Abdulwahh]

When he does this actions do you get horny

[Anonymous]

does he hump you or try to sniff you butt?

[Anonymous]

Guys cannot control their boners.

[Sarahbbb]

They should when they think of you as a friend :)

[Sarahbbb]

as a sister*

[Anonymous]

because he likes your body and wants to fuck you