Why would a guy show interest in me when he is not over his ex yet?

[Anonymous]

so I met this guy and it was attraction at first sight for both of us. I was really interested in him so I asked him out, he said we could be friends. I said oki after a few month I persisted for a date. Since we were going no where I blocked him, later on when I unblocked him, he got angry. soon I found out that he was not over his ex yet, then why showing interest in me?

Updates

+1 y

I have been patient with him for 1 year and still he won't leave her...

[btbc92]

He simply wants his cake and eat it too. It's very clear that his relationship with this woman was not healthy at all and he's a problem. Because if she was the problem, he will not be with that person anymore. You can love a person, but there comes a point in time with sometimes you have no choice but to move on. At that point they will want time for themselves to be able to heal, and want to make sure that would they feel at this point is healthy. You're just going to be a rebound. And at the same time you got to question your sanity with this. Is this person is not a friend that you know for eons, you just met this person. You say you've been interested for like a year, there's something not right with you because it's something that you got within yourself as attracting that kind of person. He is not interested in a relationship, what he's interested in this easy sucks. That's all it is. Since he can't seem to get it from his ex, he see that you're the one that's still interested in him so obviously he's going to want something with you when he didn't from the beginning. You need to just call him out on it. and even if such did not happen between him and that person, it's very clear that it's definitely the rather he wants to go with. Because any self-respecting person wouldn't even treat you that way.

[btbc92]

He's not showing you interest. He sees an opportunity and benefits. And you're the one opportunity he has left because he seeks the benefits parrot he has nobody else has taken interest in him so he's running out of options.

[Asker]

we were both interested in the beginning then when I asked him his relationship status he told me he is in a relationship but it's not full on. I said cool we can date. As I persisted he started getting irritated. but his action was not matching his words. then I discovered he is not even in a relationship but in denial so I tried to heal him. He would not, after 1+ years, I contacted his mother and explained to her the situation and she managed to change his mind. Yes he is weak and immature but he will grow up with time. The great thing he cut that girl out of his life.

[btbc92]

Asker. You are playing childish and teenage games. Is he a friend of yours? How long have you known this person? Who is this guy? Do you know his friends? Do you know what he is about? Do you know anything about his life other than the fact that you both claiming he was interested in the beginning? He's in a relationship but he's telling you is not full on and you said you can still date? Sweetheart you are dismissed of a problem as he is. That's toxic. You haven't this guy cheat on somebody he's dating so because you're that desperate. What and that's why he's desperate with you now. This is not healthy. No it's not that he's weak and immature. You do not sound healthy. And you have no business to be contacting his mother butting into his family business. Sweetheart you need to get some psychological help and counseling you don't need a relationship you need to be single. You cannot heal a person. That's between him and God. That's between him and Jesus. Not an another individual. Please do not tell me you're one of those psycho chicks obsessed with a man you can't have.

[Asker]

lol you donot know under what circumstances i contacted his mother and we are both related by distance through his mother and we both went to same school so please avoid your judgmental opinion. Thank you

[btbc92]

To be honest I honestly don't care. You leave that guy alone. Find something else better to do okay I'm going to tell you the truth that you don't want to hear. I don't care what kind of pants do you have with that guy, you too damn obsessed with him and you need to leave him alone. Period.

[Máiiréad]

Because he doesn't know what he wants. Half of his desires to move on and the other half still wants his ex back. Do not wait for him, it isn't fair to you. You will only feel regret later in your life for wasting your time waiting for someone who isn't even sure he wants you. If he really wanted you, he would pursue you.

[JosephPit]

I'm confused about your update. What do you mean that he won't leave her? I thought she was his ex already, or do you mean he still isn't over her?

In general, I'm feeling like I'm in the same spot right now. He probably wanted to move on and see what's out there (and then met you), but still wasn't completely over his ex yet. I don't feel like he is leading you on since he told you you could only be friends. Maybe there is more behind it, but I'm only going forward on what you wrote.

I wouldn't wait for him though. I'd try to move on as well, and if he feels ready and is still interested in you he'll contact you. If he isn't, you won't hear from him again probably.

[Asker]

In the update, by he won't leave her i meant he was in denial and kept chasing her. I asked his mother to intervene because he has been in denial for nearly 4 years and was lying to everyone. I feared he developed mental illness. Thank god, she changed his mind. I was thinking about writing him a letter but i won't. I had to help him, the job is done now i move on gracefully :) . As you said if he wants to be with me he will contact me otherwise... there are so many men and I would be happy to have one who loves and appreciates me for who I am. Right now he needs to move on.. if god wants it we will meet again.

[JosephPit]

That's a great mindset! Good luck!

[Asker]

It's hard but I can do it! Thank you :)

[myNameIsProfile]

Marmalade sandwiches













... And cause he's trying to get over his ex and maybe having trouble trying to (well I guess it depends on how long you guys have been together).