Do you think he’ll approach me again?

[Anonymous]

So 2 mnths ago I started talking to this guy on instagram there were common friends between us and that was how we met. Anyway, we started talking on instagram for a month every single day, non stop and turns out we are the same person; listen to the same music, like the same food, etc. that’s what brought us very close in no time The thing is he has just gotten out of a relationship one month before we started talking it was a 2 year thing but it was on and off and it was very toxic so as far as i know he dsnt want his ex back a month after we started talking he took my number and we started talking on the phone literally from the minute he wakes up to the moment we sleep we talked about evryth he opnd up it was just so smooth we then started going out and thats when we talked and agreed that smth is happening between us we’re just taking slow because he dsnt want to rush things then after 2 mnths, one day i went to a bday party with him and he started introducing me to his frnds and at the end of that day all of a sudden he hugged me and said “is this getting real or what” and kept hugging me then kissed me a quick kiss and that was it he then changed all of a sudden, went colder and weirder i had no idea what was up with him so i talked to him about it he simply said that he realised that things started getting serious and real and he’s just not a 100% there yet and if we’re going to be tgthr i deserve that he’d be all in and he dsnt want to hurt me i deserve better than that and so on he then said how it could maybe work out in the future if we were both ready and still wanted it to work but right now it hit him that he actually needs time to process everything that was going on as if he’s just realized that there's smth between us. I feel hurt and sad and this surprised me because im surprised by how it was just easy for him to stop talking to me. Do you think he’ll talk again and maybe try again or was he just sugar coating the fact that he dsnt want anyth?

[btbc92]

Please stay away from this guy. He doesn't sound stable and it sounds like to me he's only using you in front of other people so that way he can feel good about himself. He's not caring about how you feel and he's not caring about the kind of mentality he's showing. It's very clear that he is unstable, and he needs to go see a counselor or therapist for his problems. It's one thing to be friends, but it's very clear that he is looking for something but he don't want to admit that he wants something else just so he can try to forget his ex-girlfriend. The only reason why he's not getting in contact with you again because he knows he's taking advantage of you. It's best you don't entertain it. You don't let somebody who you're not in a committed relationship with start hugging and kissing you like that. It sends the wrong message. There are boundaries for a reason. And all he did was instead of showing affection, was to use physical touch as a form of hurt. And you see how you asking this question question marks do you see how you write in this inscription? It shows as security and seeking something because you don't love yourself. I'll holla suggest you become whole as a person first before you decide to seek a relationship. Because this is one of the reasons why you're getting that kind of guy. Somebody was not hold himself and he's just using you as a way to get over his prom. Both of you need to change. but you deserve better. Grow up as a woman and as a person first, don't rush into dating. Give yourself as much time and space as you need. Because you don't want to get caught up with that situation. Because once you do its starts repeating itself like a broken record. That's no way to live your life. You got to be direct. If you know you wanted to confirm the beginning you should have said something from day one. Do not drag this out for months, and then you're curious about what's happening between you. That's why you don't allow that to go on between you. You don't do that and then you're uncertain what the future may be. Because this is what you're dealing with, because neither of you were honest.

[btbc92]

Yeah he's going to approach you again. But he's going to approach you being smoov about it instead of being honest and forthcoming. Why would you want to try again because you're that desperate for somebody? I don't care how desperate you are for this person. You decide if you want to get hurt. Because actions speak louder than words. Look at his actions. Does it sound like a relationship you want for the rest of your life? You're acting like your friend but you're not even real friends to begin with. He's putting you in a situationship, but meanwhile he doesn't want to fix it. Be very careful because you may have a player on your hands.

[charon142]

well that was a long journey but after reading all of it
I think he's just scared that if this relation gets serious and you two start doing new things it will be the same thing he had going on before
and he's not happy about what happened before
he likes you, a lot and this is why he wants to keep you out from an emotional impact he experienced himself But clearly he doesn't 100% trust you to tell you everything and ask for help
you should either support him and stay with him even if he did the worst to you or you should give him sometime
there's a possibility he will come back but it's not guaranteed

[Jamie05rhs]

No, he won't. Because he's stuck in his feelings right now. He's confused. You need to be the one to reach out to him and prod him along.