Can I get a guy to stop ghosting me?

[Anonymous]

Hi I am hot ok and have never been ghosted before. This guy we talked so much at one point and then all of a sudden he stopped. I have gone crazy I keep texting him and sometimes he will reply to like one random message. I snap him he doesn't respond. I Instagram him he doesn't respond. I send him sweet messages and bring him ice cream to his door. He didn't even say thank you yikes. He was so confused why I gave him it lol. How can a guy resist me? I'm so cute and nice and now I'm sad lol I know everyone has their own "type" but I feel like I can make myself his type in any way he wanted. Can I get him to stop ghosting me?

[wtf636]

Haha, I can't tell if this is a troll or not. But welcome to a guy not being that into you.

I'm guessing he is a bit older, attractive, and has plenty of options so he doesn't need to wait around for you.

I have had this happen. I dated a very attractive younger woman. She was very entitled, spoiled, and expected me to treat her like a princess because that's how all the other guys treated her, just cause she was hot. But she acted like an asshole, and tried to treat me like one of those pathetic guys chasing her around.

Well I found it annoying and unattractive. She wasn't that "hot" and I can get other hot women that don't act like that. So I told her I was no longer interested. Suddenly she was blowing up my phone, trying to take me out on a date. I started dating someone new, she really freaked out, tried to get me to break up with her. She was unstable. The more she tried, the more unattractive it became. She didn't like me, it was just about her ego.

[Asker]

I am nice though. I don’t expect much just a text once a day at least lol like respond to me that’s all I take. He is older and attractive and yeah probably has more options.

He was really nice to me too like bring me stuff to my place when he went out always asked if I wanted anything. Was sweet and I was sweet back always asked if he wanted anything. I randomly brought him things couple times. I always asked him questions asked about him

[wtf636]

he's older. If he's taking you out, he's gonna do nice shit that younger guys won't think of. It doesn't mean he likes you. Just means he was raised right. If he continues to ask you out THEN he likes you.

Men that are interested pursue, if he doesn't he doesn't like you that much, or he likes someone else more right now.

Even if you are nice, he could still just not be interested in you. Maybe not his type, personality doesn't match, whatever.

People want what they can't have. Women like men that aren't that interested in them, and men like this too. Who knows why.

[Asker]

That’s true he’s probably just raised right I know he doesn’t like me but I’m just sad that he doesn’t even want to talk to me. We had some good deep conversations. I would love to be his friend :(

[Asker]

If he liked me though I’m interested

[wtf636]

Well here is the thing though. Women aren't really good friends to men in general. Not trying to be mean, it's just the truth. And an older guy already has his friends, he doesn't need new ones that actually want more than just a friendship. If he wanted to be your friend, then he would.

Most women don't generally like the things that men are interested in, and vice versa. Not saying it can't happen but it's much rarer to have a TRUE male-female friendship. Unless they are both happily in other relationships and have no attraction towards each other.

Yes, I have female friends, but they will never be as close to me as my male friends. Male friends share a lived experience, we understand each other's problems, we don't want anything from each other, just friendship. My male friends are also way more reliable when I need any type of help. I like my female friends, but they also expect a lot more from me than the men I am friends with.

You just want him there to unload all your problems on, ask for help, and basically get the boyfriend experience without really having it. You said it yourself you are interested in him, you want him. That is not a friendship. I don't want to fuck any of my real friends.

So all this is to say. Who cares what you want? You have made it clear, and he doesn't care. He doesn't want it. Why would you want to one friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you? So all you can do is move on. There is no use in moping about it. FInd someone who likes you.

[Rob70]

Why would you want to change yourself for someone that has not respected you to this point. Stop contacting him for a bit. If he has any interest in you it won't take long for him to reach out to you. Right now he knows he can treat you anyway he wants and you will give him what he wants.

[Asker]

I have problems actually. Def was with someone who didn't respect me for over a year and said they'd kill me if I didn't do what they wanted. I don't know how to respect even myself anymore lol

[Rob70]

It can be hard to breakout of a relationship at times. There are times when even though you know it is not a healthy loving relationship it can be hard to leave. The abuser will usually know what to do or say to keep you around and making you think no one else will want you. You will see the whole thing in a different way once you do get out and have time to reflect. Please get away as fast as you can if they threaten your life.

[Asker]

lol that was before was so hard to get out but I don't know I would change myself for this guy happily. I would enjoy being whatever he wanted me to be lol as long as he wanted me lol. That;s just the kind of person I am just want to make people happy lol

[Rob70]

I am like you in the way I like to make people happy. I will do most anything for a person I care for. In past relationships I have been guilty of looking the other way when treated poorly. I finally had enough and once I got away I saw all the things clearly and said I would never again put myself in that spot. I found a great woman that treats me as well as I do her and it's an amazing feeling to have

[Asker]

I'm glad you found the one. It's so hard to find good people these days. Wish he was that good person but I'm hopeful. I just wish we could be friends at this point. I hate the idea of someone just not wanting to talk to me lol. I've never had someone not text me back

[Rob70]

I wish you the best. Just don't sell yourself short. You deserve to have someone treat you as well as you do them

[Asker]

Thank you I appreciate your kind words!

[Schizoaffective]

Why make the effort when he clearly doesn't care.
Pour your attention to someone who actually reciprocates.
Know your worth.

[Asker]

Yeah I know I just want to be his friend now but still no pull he just doesn’t want to know me anymore I guess yikes I just went to be his friend. There’s this other guy I’m talking to now that is so sweet and kind to me but like why does that guy not want to be friends lol. I keep saying bro and dude now trying to get the bro attitude but nope

[Schizoaffective]

Just forget about him

[Asker]

Easy to say hard to do

[Schizoaffective]

Yea but it's the right thing to do ;)

[kyleelyn199723]

Being hot doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to get ghosted.

[Asker]

i never said that hot people can't get ghosted

[kyleelyn199723]

“I am hot ok”

[Asker]

That was side note mostly for guys in case annoying ones just say you're prob just not cute that''s why he's ghosting. Wanted more direct answers.

[Asker]

Like clearly I am being ghosted so... just want to know how I can be unghosted lol or how do lose feelings for someone you care for

[kyleelyn199723]

Looks are subjective don’t let the men on here bully you, they probably don’t even get women 90% of them. I agree with other answers. Let him chase you

[kyleelyn199723]

Also the less effort you put into chasing, the more likely you can get over him. Been there done that. Once I got into my current relationship this guy messaged me saying “I miss you” 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Glenn603]

Reading this made me think of two points. The first being when you're both chatting does he ever ask you a question and you only reply with a yes or no and make no effort? I've lost count of the amount of women I've chatted with and they make no effort whatsoever and I always ghost them.
The other is you say you keep texting him, if somebody keeps messaging me it puts me off immediately. For example I was chatting with a girl once late at night and I told her I was going to have to go to bed and I went off line. When I turned my computer on the next morning she'd sent me over 30 messages overnight asking me why I wasn't replying and her final message asked me if I'd died overnight. She was immediately blocked.
Looking to desperate can definitely put guys off

[Asker]

Yeah he didn’t respond for two days and we had a test so I was like it’s fine he’s probably stressed. I texted him hope you’re alive lol. But I thought that was normal. And then at one point I said I was sad that he left me on read once lol. Is that desperate? Yeah I need to stop texting him because I am desperate! I’ve never had someone not like me

[Michael49]

Sounds like u are trying to hard almost desperate. Let him feel like you’re not that interested and I bet he will change his ways.

[Asker]

Yeah I am desperate I want him lol. I tried being uninterested for like 2 days and no pull I'm scared he's just not interested too then lol

[Michael49]

Well i suppose that is possible. Two days isn’t being uninterested lol but i know that probably felt like two weeks. Guys (at least this one does) like the feeling of being the aggressor

[FilmGuy93]

Well for one thing, stop pushing so hard. So many women want to make themselves into men’s types, but that’s a really unhealthy life approach. You aren’t making yourself more enticing by trying to be enticing to him.

[Asker]

Yeah I just want to be his friend now so I’m trying to be more bro-ish but stil he doesn’t even want that I guess. Yeah I know I need to stop. I keep dressing up and looking good everyday for what lol

[FilmGuy93]

Of course being a bro doesn’t work! Lmao the guy doesn’t want to mate with his bros. Be charming and feminine. Let the energy do it’s own thing. Best Of luck!

[Asker]

no I mean I recently started doing the bro when I saw he started to pull back lol. I thought it would be less scary

[FilmGuy93]

I guess that makes sense… all I know is that the bro thing isn’t as good of a look as women tend to think. That’s why I was just waving the flag lol it sounds like you have things handled.

[spartan55]

He sensed your lack of humility and moved on.

[Asker]

Yikes you’re probably right is it over? Or any way to come back? We are in grad school together (small community) for the next 3 years lol

[spartan55]

He isn't interested. Don't be desperate.

[Anonymous]

How many message you get from other good guys that are willing to hold your hands and not ghosting you and make you happy?

[Asker]

A lot but this one is really hot and has a good future lol

[Opinion Owner]

See you when you hit the Wall

[fred_durst]

it is not your fault , his wife probably find out about this , that is why he disappeared

[MCheetah]

Welcome to our world, ladies.

[Asker]

Lol I never ghost anyone even if I’m not interested

[Asker]

Just am upright and tell people I’m not interested in that and see if they want to be friends too lol

[MCheetah]

Well then you're of the 1% of women who actually do that.

[Asker]

usually they do want to be friends lol yeah most of my friends think its weird that I'm good friends with guys who had crushes on me. but to each their own lol

[MCheetah]

I meant, not ghosting guys.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Let him chase you

[Asker]

I know I tried for two days lol but then couldn't stand it. It's so hard!

[Gwenhwyfar]

This guy sounds like a dick. Why do you like him so much?

[Asker]

He’s so hot and then I don't know he was a sweet guy used to come to my place and randomly bring coffee and stuff and then we’d text till 3 am about life. I literally only talked to him for a month but he made want to be a better person lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

That is so awesome 😊. But it seems like he’s not interested.

[Asker]

Yeah I know but just wish we could be friends now I don’t like knowing someone just doesn’t like me at all so much that they’d just cut me off

[Gwenhwyfar]

I agree with you. But it’s his right if he doesn’t wanna talk to you.

[anylolone]

Nope. You can try to get a police record.

[Asker]

Omg lol true true hope we don’t get that far I’ll let you know jk

[jeffryrobertbabb]

Don't worry about this loser.

[Asker]

But he’s so hot and was so nice 😭

[Caunsos]

You can't he is not pay attention to you.

[karaspara]

Suck it up buttercup

[Asker]

Yeah I am but just want to be his friend now but looks like he wants nothing lol yikes