Why does my boyfriend keep asking to wear skimpy clothes for just him?

[JenMarie]

I don't understand he keeps asking me to wear tighter clothes and more revealing things when I see him. He knows im very self-conscious about my tummy because I've had two kids that were 10 and 11 lbs. Surgery with both. I'm not big at all. 5'7" and 140.
I try to send him sexy pics but I feel embarrassed after I do because I see all of the girls on all of the social media thats on his accounts. Then I realize I don't even compare. So, is he asking me to wear this stuff because he's comparing me or he wants me to be something im not. Any input of real honesty would be appreciated.

[Cynicaldreamer]

So your man obviously loves you and your body, yet you seem self conscious- which I understand; I don't exactly have the best self esteem towards my body as well.

He wants you to wear skimpy clothing because he likes your body and seeing you that way. It's a HUGE compliment: take it!!! Don't question it so much. He's not comparing you to other women online, nor does it sound like he cares. He wants YOU.

I know this is easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to other women. He sure isn't. Focus on being happier with yourself and your figure.

[JenMarie]

Thanks, it is very hard to get a grip in sometimes tho lol

[Dannymadness]

If he’s your boyfriend then surely the trust and understanding should be there. If you tell him how this is making you feel then he should understand and respond in the right way if he truly cares and if he is a good guy

[MCheetah]

He's trying to help you feel sexy and be sexy, and you keep shutting him down. He can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.

[BrassMan]

Because that's what catches his eye (i. e. turns him on) with women. He clearly finds you very attractive and he just wants you to go along with his fantasies. Yes he clearly finds you attractive but he wants a bit of fancy decorative icing on his cake. I am the same with my wife. I love it when she wears provocative clothes. On our honeymoon she wore a silver thong bikini at the pool at our hotel in Costa Rica (It was a small hotel in the off season and there were few people about, mostly women). I've never been so turned on in my life. I know she was a bit uncomfortable but i so much appreciated it.

[FreeOhSeven]

I think you’re looking too deep into things. Probably he is just turned on by you and your body and likes the idea of you putting a little effort to keep his loins a burnin’.

[Luckycharms12]

He clearly thinks you look sexy and it turns you on

[JenMarie]

That's the thing im so self-conscious that it keeps me from being turned on

[Luckycharms12]

Really no way look like in great shape and you have nothing to be self conscious about

[Starman5]

I think he wants you to dress like that because he wants you to look sexier

[Wise4myage]

Because your body turns him on?

[JenMarie]

Lol, maybe

[Wise4myage]

Of course that’s wha it means!

[JenMarie]

Very, well could be it but I don't see that truly

[Wise4myage]

You should ask him?

[JenMarie]

Ask what, why he wants me to or if he likes the way I look

[Wise4myage]

The way you look

[JenMarie]

Yeah, lol guess I should find that out

[Wise4myage]

👍👍

[SamFromFL]

What’s an example of something revealing?

[JenMarie]

In his opinion, he says something that is tighter or shows more skin. I mean I guess I agree with that

[SamFromFL]

But it sounds like he wants you to expose your tummy. Is that right or does he just ask you to dress less conservatively in general?

[SamFromFL]

Trying to figure out if he’s into changing you or just wants to encourage you

[JenMarie]

I'm not a conservative dresser by any means or conventional but he says tighter. I wear the tights pants I can so no issues I see there. I have bigger breasts so mostly everything I wear is right on my breast area. I just try not to wear things that cling to my tummy. I'm fine when I stand up can't tell much. Just when I sit you can see all

[SamFromFL]

I get what you mean because most people sitting are going to have some extra skin showing than when they stand and the stomach stretches vertically. Sounds like you already dress in a flattering manner and as you said the clothes fit your body. So I’m trying to figure out why he wants you to wear something skin tight. Does he ask for lingerie for his eyes only or does he mean when he takes you on a date he wants your dress to cling to your belly?

[SamFromFL]

Another question is how would you like him to compliment and support your body so that you feel sexy and desirable?

[JenMarie]

He hasn't asked me to wear lingerie. Just skimpy and tighter. For him. Not sure if he wants me to expose my tummy. When I try to talk about my body or need support and avoid saying anything. Like he's afraid or doesn't care. I feel like maybe he knows it makes me uncomfortable and I might refuse so he can have a reason to break up

[SamFromFL]

As you requested honesty I don’t quite understand his needs. As you said you already wear tight pants and said you look good. If he’s asking for more it sounds a bit selfish. Does he give you lots of compliments and spend quality time with you? Something you said about him making an excuse to break up is concerning

[JenMarie]

Yes, im confused also, and thank you for trying to help. This has made me take a deeper look at things.
We are in a long-distance relationship and we see each other maybe once a month. He does compliment me when we Facetime but never in person. Which I find strange

[SamFromFL]

Ldrs are hard! I tried one and it didn’t work out. So many questions and there can be trust issues and temptations we aren’t even aware of. So I can relate to you feeling confused. That is a red flag tbh if he never compliments you in person. As a guy I would think it’s the opposite and in person he would feel more excited than on FaceTime. Sorry that it must have you filled with doubts about what’s going on. I find ldrs with no firm plans to live closer in the near future to be nearly impossible. Is he planning to move closer soon?

[JenMarie]

So glad you understand. At first, we talked about me moving closer but now he says he's happy with what we have now but it can change.

[In_Trance]

because he wants to see you in skimpy clothes