Guy is asking me if I save sex for marriage and we haven't gone on a date yet. Should I even bother responding?

Question

We talked about cuddling each other and he asked what happens if we hit homebase. I said I want to save that part. He said "Haven't you been saving it for the lasy 27 years?" He was hinting that he thinks I'm a virgin. I never told him I was a virgin but he assumes. I replied saying I want to save it for a relationship. He then asked if I'm saving it for marriage. He told me once that I look innocent. We haven't even gone on a date yet but we were classmates before. Should I even bother responding? Why ask that question over text?

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Well, do you want him to ask in person? Maybe that is better. He needs to ask so he won't waste or your time. He wants something serious, I hope. But if you say you're waiting for a relationship, and he still doesn't understand, just tell him the truth that your not waiting so you two won't date each other. The guy is smart if that is the case. Best to see the compatibility now than to have a month's worth of heartache. I always tell guys that I am not having sex before marriage so they do right away where I come from. Why can't you be honest? You want to date, then unless you want to build it on lies, you need to tell the truth eventually or not dates. However, if he is not a virgin, it is very possible he wants to just have sex or try to convince you to do it before marriage and then maybe bounce. Like others have said, be careful with him. He sounds fishy to begin with.

kc_4308 · Accepted Answer

This question doesn’t need to get brought up unless this is someone you’re exclusive with. You’re virginity is not a mans business that you’re not involved with. Men asking women about their sexual partners is private. When a man asks me about my last sexual moments - I ask him tell me about yours. I proceed with I’m in celibacy and have Ben ex amount of years and I’m sustaining from any sexual activity until I’m in a committed relationship. It’s not that I’m hiding anything , but when a man asks these questions it gives them more access to me and things that are not important him right away. Unless we’re intimate and he wants to know my sexual history that’s one thing. That kind of information you don’t hold back from a man. Women are often looked down by men women when asked these questions.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'd give him a chance still, give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Talk a bit more, even a first date, see how that goes, you'll know better then. We don't know what his intentions are (and neither do you yet), but this doesn't necessarily "mean" anything. You were already talking about cuddling, so he might have just been curious what your views are on that and nothing more. But trust your gut also. If it feels "creepy" or anything, or you get a bad feeling from him, then trust it. And be clear with him what you are looking for and what you are and aren't open to. Then he's not making any assumptions.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Because he's a cheapskate and he's trying to find out if you put so he's asking you all kinds of questions to find out if you do that way if you say no you don't the odds are he probably won't want to take you on a date it just because he asked the questions I wouldn't go out with him

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Say you dont give those intimate moments to just anyone... you dont sleep with your friends if your looking for a fuck buddy then you are not her... if you want a relationship we still have to figure out if were compatible...

Becareful he sounds creepy! Dont go over to his place sounds like he could rape you.

Adam1978 · Answer

He is just checking if you are compatible, he doesn't want to waste months to find out you have a major roadblock that he isn't willing to deal with. So if you are saving yourself for marriage say so, so he can move on. Because a guy that brings this up so early isn't a guy waiting for marriage.

TangBang69 · Answer

Did you inquire as to why he wanted to know? Likely he'd lie anyway & was hoping to get laid but being serious, it is something I think should be confronted better sooner than later. Say you date someone 1,2 or 3 months to say it is serious & feelings set in, then you finally do the deed & discover he has a tiny tool and/or is just boring bland & unfulfilling in the sack... talk about awkward.

Anon621 · Answer

Me personally I like to be straightforward with people in general and let them know I practice celibacy for personal reasons. I think in your case I would recommend being careful with him. If he keeps asking sexual questions then I would recommend trying to find someone else.

hahahmm · Answer

You started talking to this guy about cuddling... where his crotch would practically be on your genitals but you get offended when he asks about sex? Sounds like you opened the door to that conversation to me. If you really don't want to talk about such things before a 1st date then don't talk about any intimate stuff at all.

nice-girl · Answer

I think it's normal that a men would want to have sex with you or ask such a thing, and it's normal for you to respond how you like. Just say no to sex before being in a relationship or in marriage if that's what you want.
I wouldn't think a guy is bad just because he asked you that. And I would continue dating him while respecting myself and my desired on when I like to get intimate.

InspecturGajit · Answer

He sounds like a pig. He want's to figure out if you are going to put out before he invests his time into you. Don't waste your time. He clearly doesn't care anything about your character, he just wants to know if he's going to get laid.

Anonymous · Answer

Since you’re clearly feeling uncomfortable…dependent upon how long y’all have been talking I’d say to tell him you don’t think it’s best to continue talking & don’t talk to him anymore. This was disrespectful of him and WAY too personal to say y’all haven’t even went on a date yet.

PositiveNote · Answer

Man, I hate it when people make assumptions like that. I was the victim of so many comments of that sort and I started to develop a syndrome over it. Then, one day, I decided I'd just ignore people and be myself.

I never turned back!

LisaRaven · Answer

Just my opinion, to me asking anything about sex before the first date is a major red flag. Sounds like he only thinking about sex, and how to get that from you ASAP.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s up to you, but I definitely think it’s weird to be asking that this soon.

If I get in a relationship with someone, hopefully it is someone who is disgusted by s*x because I am disgusted by it as well, but it will be quite very hard to tell her about it. If she isn’t disgusted by it, hopefully she can accept me for who I am and agree to stay in the relationship if it already began.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

"Haven't you been saving it for the last 27 years?". And? What part of "UNTIL MARRIAGE" does he not understand?

HighValue · Answer

Maybe he wants someone that hasn't slept around. If that is the case, he should be fine not having sex for a while in a relationship too.

cloudspy · Answer

Why is he asking you about your sex life before a first date? Tell him it's none of his business.

Dinklex3 · Answer

You could confront him and inquire why he's asking that question.

Anonymous · Answer

Well whatever else you want to say it seems the entire internet has agreed about something for the first time ever: That guy is a dick. Who may or may not be on a bus of some kind.

dustybiker · Answer

His attitude about it/your choices irks me. Respect is foundation for a good relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

He likely has a hang up about your body count or only wants to be with a virgin. That is a major red flag in my books and likely a sign of bad things ahead.

Anonymous · Answer

Well i quite open about my virginity and if guys ask i answer. Well and nothing bad happened at least they know they will not get sex very soon when dating me.

noohair · Answer

You don't have to answer intimate questions from people you only know casually.  How many New Yorker's does it take to screw in a light bulb? None of your freaking business.

Guy is asking me if I save sex for marriage and we haven't gone on a date yet. Should I even bother responding?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Guy is asking me if I save sex for marriage and we haven't gone on a date yet. Should I even bother responding?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.