Guys, Should I be suspicious?

[Anonymous]

I need advice from a man's perspective.
Tonight I had an argument with my Fiancé.
I noticed he had m&ms in his bag and cookies so I took a peak inside and he lost his shit. Saying I don't have the right to go through his things, especially without his permission. He made a huge deal out of it. Now I feel like his guilty or hiding something from me.
I asked him are you hiding something from me? and he was like yeah condoms!! Then he like never go inside my bag again without my permission, it pisses me off. I got really angry and smashed a plate on the floor. 😪 I trusted him 100% and now I don't know why someone would over react like that if they weren't hiding something. Please let me know your thoughts!

[magiusX26]

it was still an invasion of his privacy. its not always about something being hidden but about the principal of the matter. even once married you both should still be able to have some things private even from each other. if he was hiding something in his bagn which his reaction does not mean he was, you should not automatically be thinking something negative. ever stop to think that maybe (assuming he was hidding something in the bag) it could have been some sort of surprise/gift for you? based off your admitted reaction i'll wager you only thought of something negative, and that shows a personality flaw on your part. that flaw being automatically thinking the worst of your chosen mate which in turn makes your reaction accusitory. that in turn shows you have little faith in him. all this goes towards trusting each other.

[hahahmm]

I've never cheated in my life. At one point I had a girlfriend who was always accusing me of cheating so I didn't want her looking at my email or phone since she would just randomly accuse me for harmless stuff. Maybe something similar is going on here where you accused him before so he wants to minimize how much you see so you have less reason to act nutty. No, you two aren't ready to get married if you have this little trust.

[Asker]

Hey thanks for your response. Yeah I see what you mean but I have never actually accused him ever of cheating. I've never even been tempted to look through his phone or email, even though I know his passwords, I always trust him 100% but his reaction gave me a reason to think something is going on.

[hahahmm]

Your job as a woman is to be really good at sneaking around without letting the dude even know that you looked... EVER. Unless you actually find an end of the world type thing. I'd apologize to him for freaking out and breaking the plate. Dudes don't really want to be with somebody who is going to break stuff all the time or accuse them of things. Yeah, he may put up with it but every time you do it it's a point against you and one day you could tip the scale in favor of him leaving.

[Asker]

I think any woman who see's sweets and chocolate in someone's bag would be tempted to look. I personally don't see the big deal. I'm pregnant my hormones are all over the place and he knows this. I don't feel like I shouldn't apologise, As he was the one who snapped at me. He hasn't even made the effort to speak to me today. I said bye to him this morning when he left for work and he just ignored me.

[hahahmm]

I didn't say apologize for looking, just for freaking out. And he should do the same. He lost points in your mind. You lost points in his mind. I said 'your job'... as a suggestion on how to avoid unnecessary conflict. Most women don't go rummaging through a dude's bag in front of him just because it's sitting there - in my experience. And now that you say you're pregnant.. I wonder if that was his junk food stash and he needs his sugar fix... ha ha ha. Anyhow.

[Kabluie]

There is a trust aspect and respecting privacy when it's asked for, and I feel if you break that it will make some people tilt. It's the same concept of me saying I'll never look through your phone unless you ask me to. Like maybe you are driving and need to get something kind of thing. But I'd never go through a partner's stuff unless asked.

[spartan55]

You claiming he overreacted, yet you break a plate on the floor? Had to match his energy I guess.

[Asker]

I know, I did over react. I'm currently pregnant with his child so my hormones are all over the place.

[Anonymous]

He overreacted but could be hiding something he is embarrassed about

[Asker]

I just find it really strange. All the time he is asking me to go in his bag to bring him something. I usually open all the compartments and he never complains but today he flipped.