How to approach/tips to date a guy who is very concerned by privacy?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy I really like through common friends, but his concerns for privacy are making it very difficult to start something with him. His father was a prominent local politician and as our local culture is quite gossipy, he grew up being exposed and seeing his family’s private business on local newspapers. His recent brothers divorce for example was a favorite topic of conversation for local gossip and press. As a consequence, he is quite obsessed about his privacy and this is really making it difficult to approach him. We have mutual friends and see each other through them, and I have the impression there is a strong attraction and a good chemistry, also based on things he told me, but for example he asked me to keep to ourselves the fact there is something going on between us (and… from my point of view there is nothing going on but flirting; he never even kissed me) and he’s very secretive (he does not have a girlfriend this I know for sure). I don’t know how to approach him without scaring him and what to do to show him he can trust me

[caring__1]

Be respectful without being judgmental. What if your friends thought it was funny that you started your period and made a mess all over the place, so they wanted to share the humor with others? He is rightly concerned that people tend to be insensitive and self-serving. Just tell him you don't kiss and tell... that your experiences are for you to enjoy, not to be shared with others as a way to impress them.

Be subtle, and don't draw attention to him. People who are loud or have unusual laughs or dress out of the ordinary will draw attention to whomever they happen to be around. He doesn't want attention drawn to him unless it is his choice.

Are there reasons you feel you can't respect his wishes? He'll probably be more comfortable with others knowing once he has made a commitment. It's like women who don't want to broadcast their pregnancy till they are sure it is sticking. They don't want to deal with the flack if it doesn't work.

[alleon]

Find a way to show them to trust you.