How to stop this?

[Anonymous]

So basically I remember looking at this guy for a couple of seconds, and ever since he began this thing of locking eyes with me whenever he sees me. It's not even like for a few seconds, it's for like 30 seconds each time, and I really don't understand how he does it without getting bored.
Anyway, I used to sometimes engage in this at the start but I eventually lose interest in him. However this one day, he was standing at a distance and he practically just watches me for a whole 2-3 minutes straight. It was extremely uncomfortable and invasive so I turn the corner to avoid him but he bends over to continue staring at me like I'm his property.

It was extremely intimidating and so I tried hiding behind something to avoid him, but I step out and he's still there watching me. At this point, I start feeling sick to my stomach and I ran to my car and begin to cry. I can't confront him in person as I'm scared, what can I do?

Updates

+1 y

Edit: Please don't condone any type of stalkerish behaviour as just 'love' or 'attraction' as any form of intimidation isn't acceptable and watching someone for 2-3 minutes straight is very invasive.
(Also, this has been going on for 7 years.)

[devilish-cutie]

he finds you attractive and is interested in you. He doesn't realize he is acting creepy and he thinks he has a chance with you. dont be afraid, ignore him, roll your eyes at him and avoid him...

[Asker]

Hey, this has gone on for 7 years. I was initially interested in him, however it got to a point where he wouldn't even reply even when I asked him. This behaviour didn't stop, he'd often stand at a distance and stare at me for like 30-40 seconds straight, what I just described was the very last incident.

[devilish-cutie]

im sorry you are experiencing this, i know how it feels as some guys stared at me all the time. One at work wast the worst as i couldnt get away. I think he doesn't realize how creepy his staring is. But if it has been so long there is no need to fear him. One time a guy i liked at work stared at me too but also with no real initiative to be with me and i did show obvious interest. Anyways, one time i kept staring back, and we had that stand off and i kept staring and at one point thought, ok this has obviously came way too much to the point its not normal to stare like that, but i kept staring and eventually he abruptly looked away. My point is, try to stare like that or approach him and ask why ae ou staring at me all the time? Its creepy. Noone thought you that is rude? Or send him a massage/mail like that. I mean some men with their staring, the fucking audacity

[Asker]

Hey there, thanks for your reply. Yes, I'm not scared of him, but it's that feeling of invading your personal space which as quite upsetting. I find that his behaviour isn't dangerous or something to be afraid of, but it is very fixated and quite obsessional which is unhealthy for both of us.
This whole thing started coz I initiated it to a small level. But basically as you said I did try staring back at him to get him to stop, but he just keeps staring. I stared for longer, and we basically just used to lock eyes with eachother for like 30-40 seconds straight- this is honestly what made me I guess fall in love with him. I tried talking to him multiple times, but he never responds, and I find his behaviour rather manipulative as he doesn't like having me on a public platform (he deleted my request to add him on social media like 3 years ago) but he does have me in his personal contacts (he saved my number in his phone, even though I didn't give him my number- he even msged me something general once). This is just manipulative behaviour.

Now however, I completely lost interest in him and I find this thing upsetting, and I really just want him to stop as he isn't staring but more like watching me to a point where it is quite invasive. He tried blocking my car with his car at one point, and I had to reverse my car to park somewhere else for him to leave me alone. What I just described of him watching me form a distance for 2-3 whole minutes happened right after the car thing.

He always stares from afar so I can't yell out and directly confront him and if I walk closer he stops. Basically, I just want to have this stop.

(I know watching someone is classified as stalking, but I don't wanna press charges or anything, I feel bad for him and I find that he needs to stop as this is unhealthy for him too.)

[devilish-cutie]

He for sure doesn't sound like dating material in any way. Best thing you can do is ignore him or text him like i suggested. Maybe text him that he should stop straing at you or you will press chrages for restraining order, i mean what else

[Asker]

Thank you, that should hopefully stop. I never thought of texting him about it, I don't want to confront in person, but texting should be fine :)
Thanks for that

[devilish-cutie]

no problem, good luck

[Anonymous]

uh oh somebody's staring at me what do i do what do i do.. proceeds to cry.. omfg do you need your bib and diaper changed too? christ thank god you're not in the military or going to way.. did you also ask for a safe space when you saw trump's name written in chalk on the sidewalk of a college campus and ask to see a crisis counselor? omfg talk about a real snowflake ffs.

[Opinion Owner]

if people like you ever joined the military this country would be speaking german or japanese by now.. what you need is a good swift kick in the ass and some bootcamp from the army or navy or marines to toughen you up or some type of military training..

[Asker]

Firstly what I'm describing isn't 'staring' as everyone knows staring is harmless (although staring at someone frequently is not a social etiquette). What I described here however, is watching someone for an extensive period of time, when the other person is basically just trying to go about their day. Especially when I try hiding behind something to avoid him, and he still doesn't stop.

Secondly, ever thought about how he could just stop what he is doing, instead of you telling me that I shouldn't be as sensitive? He has an option to basically just stop, ever thought of that?

Besides, the very fact that you are triggered when I'm calling out something stalkerish is just downright creepy, especially after knowing that this has gone on for 7 years. Says a lot about you as a person.

[Asker]

Try watching someone for 2 whole minutes straight, and tell me if the other person encourages your behaviour or if you get labelled as a creep.

[Opinion Owner]

oh no someone's staring at you.. what do you do? oh no no.. eek help someone's staring at me help help.. god talk about being fucking dramatic get the fuck over it already ffs. grow up.. here's a new concept for you walk up to him ask him wtf is he staring at kick him in the balls if he doesn't stop and walk away.. make a mountain out of a molehill. wtf would you actually do if a really bad situation came along

[Asker]

You don't even know what you're talking about. This isn't about him being dangerous, but about someone invading your personal space. For example, some levels of sexual harassment isn't dangerous, but it makes the other person feel uncomfortable- this is just like that.
Try this, stare at a woman at your workplace for 2 whole minutes straight, and let me know if you get a positive reaction. Cheers, you creep.

[Opinion Owner]

oh god go change your diaper and bib and get your pacifier or are you still having your mom breastfeed you?

[Asker]

As I said, why don't you stare at a woman for 30 seconds straight and let me know how she responds.