Why are men prejudiced against chubby women?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Since a bunch of guys seem to misunderstand this: When I wrote chubby I meant chubby, and not obese... is it really that hard to get?

[Slartybartfast]

Please stop overusing words like "prejudice" when you do so you feed into the far right view that the left is a bunch of rediculus whining crybabies. There are innocent black men filling our prisons and our cemitaries.

Most men have as much attraction to obese men as obese women , none at all. That's equality.

I don't say this to be mean, I don't say this to hurt you.
Most men are not attracted at all to obese women and I would choose, have chosen as all I seem to attract are morbidly (from your picture you are morbidly obese) obese women. To be single over dating an obese women.

My hobbies includeLong distance cycling, rock climbing, kayaking, and long hikes in the wilderness. All, as in %100 of the women that I got dates with online were obese. I still payed for dinners, I still treated them with respect, but it was a total waste of my time and money because under no circumstances would I want to be in a physical relationship with them. I gave up online dating because of the obese women catfishing me. They tried to trick me with Photoshop and filters to think they were healthy weight. Then they show up and are unrecognizable in person. Which leaves being friends and I already listed my hobbies that they simply wouldn't be able to do. They chose a poor diet and lack of exercise over being attractive to men. I think it's a foolish decision that will shorten their lifespan and lead to long-term and expensive medical issues, but it's their CHOICE. Men must be fit, tall, and wealthy and work at 10,000 things women demand of men to even make the list. Women are over the top, absurdly picky and demanding these days. Men who are not in any way attracted to morbidly obese and unhealthy women aren't the problem. Eating disorders and lack of exercise are. I was given this advice , and see men receive this advice in practical every dating thread on any video, blog etc.. "Work on yourself, hit the gym, advance your career. "Somehow, saying hit the gym, improve yourself, is wrong, but only if it's to a women. If all men had to do was not be obese, to be attractive to women most men would be extremely happy. Count yourself privileged. .. In the dating world even an obese women has an easier life than the average guy.

[Asker]

Please read the "Since a bunch of guys seem to misunderstand this: When I wrote chubby I meant chubby, and not obese... is it really that hard to get?" part.

I was talking about chubby women, not obese women.

[Asker]

Also please don't try to invalidate our experience just because someone has it worse.
With that sort of logic those innocent black men's experience isn't worth mentioning because people in north korea has it worse.

[ZackBan]

To answer the update the girl in the picture is fat not chubby. Not morbidly obese but these are now a couple of extra pounds she's fat.
That's not prejudice That's just the truth.

As for treating her different because of her weight only women do that. No man has ever denied a woman some kind of service or assistance on account of her weight.

But if by prejudice you're talking about attraction. It comes down to a very primal human concept called survival of the fittest.
Even if a guy is not looking to wife a woman, he naturally prefers to associate with women who can provide strong healthy offsprings. Women are the exact same way about men, and while they might be seen with a fat guy his fatness remains an unattractive trait to them which is only natural.

When someone, man or woman, is fat no ammount of complaining about how the world treats them can or even should make a difference. They have to lose weight.
Many will say weight is a choice, well so is shooting up heroin. But we tend to stop the people who do that and try to "help" them because it's harmful, food is exactly the same way. You over eat you're running the risk of dying it's simple biology it has nothing to do with misogyny or toxic masculinity or even racism as some people seem to associate it with that. It's simply a question of survival.

[Asker]

"a couple of extra pounds" sounds like the definition of chubby to me. But then again pretty much everyone else has their own idea of what chubby is.

[ZackBan]

Sorry for the type it ruined the sentence.
"These are not* of a couple of extra pounds"

[Asker]

Ah okay it makes more sense now.
Tho I don't think it's that many extra pounds. Like she looks kinda similar to me except I have slimmer arms and smaller breasts (and you know, the face is different 🤣) and maaaaaybe a bit thicker thighs, it's hard to make out from the image. And I'm not carrying that many extra pounds on me.

[ZackBan]

I'd have to see you to know.
Don't get my message wrong, it's not be thin or forget looking good. It's a spectrum and a large opinionated one, the most important thing is being on the healthy end of it. I too struggle with weight but I never let myself go.

[Oakperk]

I used to think they were but now it's becoming more popular in regards to attraction - Most men seem to like a woman with curves. My boyfriend has never been with someone as thick as I am. Now, if I was to start to become morbidly obese... I would hope he would be comfortable enough to tell me to take care of my health and help me work on it. If he loves you, he'll want you to be healthy. But also, there are genetic issues for some women and all they can do is work on their diet and some excercise to try to stay healthy. Then there are men out there who truly don't give a shit what you look like and love you for YOU.

[Curiousgirl2414]

Unpopular opinion among women: this works both ways. There are plenty of women out there every bit as shallow as men can be, who wouldn’t give a guy with a Dad bod a second look.

I think this most commonly occurs among men and women when we’re younger. We’re in our 20s, got plenty of time to settle down, and right now we just want an arm piece, and someone who might not fit the perfect beach babe or gym rat body just won’t do. But then, as we progress into late 20s and into our 30s and beyond, we realize what’s important.

[globetrotter22]

Women keep confusing “prejudice” with “preferences” on a lot of things and it’s such annoying bullshit.

For example short guys know they have an uphill battle to fight but you don’t see them creating “short acceptance” movements and constantly bitching about it. They might get (rightfully) frustrated but no one is going to give them respect or sympathy if they go around moaning about it all the time.

They make do with what they have. Many of them are often witty and have big personalities. Call it compensation (short man syndrome) but I say good for them (I am 6ft by the way)

Anyway I get it you likely often feel angry, depressed and frustrated that you get less attention than your skinnier female counterparts. But in reality you have two options: 1) diet and exercise harder to lean up. 2) accept what you are and what you get.

There is no nor will ever be an option 3 no matter how much heavier girls complain. But at least you got a problem that can be improved. Short guys are SOL no matter what they do when it comes to that drawback.

[Datboi65]

Because fat = unattractive. How difficult can this really be? Men don't complain about women not liking us if we are fat, we put in the work and transition. Women on the other hand try to literally change men's preferences by making it socially unacceptable to say that fat women are unattractive, so that the lazy ones don't have to change their life. Everything is about making them happy and giving then sugar-coated bs. And then they give you some bullshit about "what about those who have a condition?" Or "what about those that have obsessive eating disorder?". Clearly I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the lazy cows like Lizzo who say that men are assholes for not wanting to sleep with them. We don't owe you shit, and you need to do something about your weight for your own health benefits, and to be seen as more attractive. If you don't want to put in the work, then DON'T COMPLAIN.

[Datboi65]

Per your update, chubby is still fat. Morbidly obese = very fat. Men don't like fat women, chubby or obese. Workout ladies.

[bamesjond0069]

@Datboi65 chubby is like she should weigh 105lbs but weighs 110lbs but ofc we know no woman uses the word chubby that way. I bet the "chubby" girl in the picture is medically obese.

[Datboi65]

@bamesjond0069 If her BMI is at 25, she's overweight. Simple. No mental gymnastics, nothing. Girls lie about their weight and dress size all the time, but one look can usually tell.

[Smiley_face101]

@bamesjond0069

110 is skinny what the hell is wrong with you?

[Datboi65]

@Smiley_face101 It depends on someone's height, which is why BMI is the way to measure.

[bamesjond0069]

@Smiley_face101 its chubby if you're 4'11" without any muscle.

[Datboi65]

@bamesjond0069 Actually no, that's a BMI of 22.2, which falls in the healthy range. It would be considered overweight for a girl that is 4'7.

[Smiley_face101]

And how many grown women are 4'7 and under?
You are sick for saying that 110 is chubby

[bamesjond0069]

@Datboi65 i have no concern for whats considered normal overweight or obese on a medical chart. Im coming from someone who used to work in modeling industry and personally i call chubby 5 to 10 lbs over model shape body. But ofc we all know this is not how girls use these terms.

[Asker]

@bamesjond0069 You do realize that "model shape bodies" are like 0,001% of the population, right?

[bamesjond0069]

In terms of fitness? No. More girls than that are physically in shape. Plus any girl could be in that shape if she put in the effort.

[Asker]

@bamesjond0069 And any guy could look like a professional bodybuilder / weightlifter if they put in the effort.

[Smiley_face101]

@bamesjond0069

Models are unhealthy since they underweight. Being underweight causes fertility issues. I have a skinny friend who gets preiod every three months.

[Datboi65]

@Smiley_face101 I'm the sick one? I don't know if your silly ass can read properly, but I said if we measure with the BMI, 4'7 and 110 IS overweight at 25 BMI. The other guy said it's at 4'11. You are clearly lacking in reading abilities and math skills, and your answers are emotionally driven. Obviously in this case a girl who is 4'7 is about 1st percentile, but since he used the example of 110 being overweight, I did the math calculation to get to which height is necessary to be considered overweight (25 BMI at least) at that level. Next time, wear some glasses.

[Datboi65]

@bamesjond0069 Personally speaking, I can care less about modeling standards. As long as she's not overweight or underweight, I'm good. Too many girls nowadays just want to get away with shit, and it's not even that hard to maintain a healthy bodyweight.

[bamesjond0069]

Asker. True but thats a higher standard than not fat. But ofc anyone can have a fitness body.

[bamesjond0069]

@Datboi65 i just go by models because thats what im used to dealing with and find the most attractive. I've never dated a girl weighing more than 120lbs and dont ever intend to. Anything above that i consider fat mostly unless she's very tall or a body builder that makes a difference ofc.

[Asker]

@bamesjond0069
"True but thats a higher standard than not fat."
There's a huuuuge difference between "not fat" and "model body". As I said, "model body" is something that like 0.001% of the population has. While "not fat" isn't that rare.

You said that "i just go by models because thats what im used to dealing with and find the most attractive." which is fair enough, but I gope you realize that calling everyone who doesn't look like a model is like calling everyone who's not the 1% poor. There's a huge segment between being poor and being the 1%.

[bamesjond0069]

Asker. I allowed for more options than obese and model body. For example i said 5 or 10lbs over model body is what i would call chubby.

Also your comparison is not the same still because there's fat women and fat men, thin women and thin men, fit women and fit men. Models are only thin, fitness bodies take much more effort for both men and women. So comparing a male fitness body to a female thin body is not the same. The equivalent is a female fitness body.

[hahahmm]

Strange... to me chubby means "a little over". Not packing an extra 100+ pounds like in your picture. She could have another woman in her belly.

Most guys don't find it physically attractive. And even guys who are mostly about character, eventually think that her being fat is a character flaw.

The way you can get around it is to be FIT with a great character. Get a guy to take you seriously for many years. Then if you gain some weight he will cut you SOME slack. Still, every guy has his limits. There's always hotter women out there and being lazy & taking your man for granted is a bad idea in the long run.

[Asker]

"Not packing an extra 100+ pounds like in your picture. She could have another woman in her belly."
I feel like you have a pretty distorted sense of weight, someone 100+ pounds extra would look far bigger than the image I used. 😅

[hahahmm]

I don't really care about weight numbers. That's a woman's obsession. Proportions matter more. And those are fugly fat, 'extra person' proportions to me.

[Jamie05rhs]

Bro, you're being way too hard on her. She's not THAT fat!

[Cherry234]

@Jamie05rhs Ikr? That's more of a thick body type, not fat. Some people just naturally have large frames.

[hahahmm]

@Jamie05rhs When feminists started telling men that all women are beautiful and we have no right to have preferences I went the other way and raised my standards a lot. These are the same women who will reject a man based on his height, job, car and so on. I don't care if it's "hard". It's fair.

[slatyb]

Do you mean prejudiced, or simply less attracted? Prejudiced would mean assuming that other traits like intelligence were different for heavier women. Attraction is just attraction. No one is under any obligation to date people they don't find attractive. I'm 5'8" tall. Some women are only attracted to taller men. But some other women prefer men of a moderate size. One of them married me.

Are you attracted to chubby men? Some may feel the same way you do. Why not find one and ask him out?

[Effably]

Prejudiced in what way? I don't think men, generally, do much body shaming. Not to say there are none but the pressure to look a certain way is more of a media and women's magazines (nowadays probably instagram and alike) notion. Men have suprisingly little to do with that.

If we're talking attraction, I think most guys don't mind a little chub. Plenty of guys even prefer it. That said there is absolutely a difference between soft and squishy and unhealthy. When that is crossed I think it is actually good that most people are not into an unhealthy look. Whether anorexia or obesity. Chubby can be fine and also might not be. Its a case to case.

[DonRollins]

Because you are out of shape and undesirable. You sweat and smell more, and your body will sag more. You don't care enough about yourself to take care of yourself.

I am 8% body fat at basically 200 lbs and over 6 feet tall. Why would want a chubby woman?
My wife was basically 90 lbs when I met her and she looks almost the same as she did at 16. (You finish puberty at 16) she stayed the same weight many years later. 5-15 lbs over 10 years is not a huge difference but the point is the general weight for a woman is 90-150 lbs depending on height.
My wife is 5 feet tall for reference.

[Asker]

I'm 5'7" and only about 169lbs, that whole "You sweat and smell more, and your body will sag more." only really applies to noticeably larger people.

[DonRollins]

No, it applies to you. I dated a chubby girl once. I know. It does. And just knowing you are that weight I would never even consider you. That's just how it is. There's plenty of men that will fuck anything especially Latino men in America or Italian/French men in Europe but I'm not one of them.

[Asker]

"And just knowing you are that weight I would never even consider you."
I'm not even that big lol, you have a pretty strict/demanding weight ideal for a partner. 😅
Tho fair enough each for their own, congrats for being able to find your special someone.

[DonRollins]

thanks. best of luck.

[DaveJord]

I don't think men are prejudice... the women above is very feminine and attractive. But few can pull off what she's got going on... and again, as she gets older gravity will take hold. And again, again if she keeps her weight wheres it at then yeah she's hot. But she probably won't, even she loses weight everything would be as firm as it looks now, and obviously the girl pictured above hasn't even had kids yet... so that will effect her later.

So all that is something guys look at when your taking long term. But right now, she's hot and I would date her.

[Hairylegs222]

Prejudice? No, for a potential girlfriend I'm looking for, when a woman is overweight, it's the lazy personality behind the chubby/fat woman that I super don't like. I've been working out and eating healthy for over 12 years consistently. I work hard to keep my body healthy and when a woman lazily doesn't make any attempt at all to be healthy I find that extremely unattractive.

If she's overweight but trying to be healthier then sure let's have a fun gym date together 😀. But if she's a lazy potato everyday nope, not for me.

If she wants to be chubby/fat/etc then that's her choice and her body. I don't agree with that life choice to be unhealthy but that's her call to make.

I have overweight friends and try motivate them to be more healthy. Personalities towards friendships are different. A girlfriend on the other hand requires a lot more.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I don’t think all men are prejudice against chubby women, just some men aren’t willing to date chubby women because they don’t find them attractive and that’s okay.


I personally will date chubby / big women within reason and if they’re willing to get healthier down the line.

[t-8900]

I'll take chubby over muscles on a woman any day, just saying. I just dont like

would still go out with this:

and I dont like butt implants and stuff. totally unnecessary. Women dont need to go under the knife to alter their bodies. They're already fine the way they were designed.

[VanillaSalt]

Lol chubby isn’t the issue… it’s whalezilla coming to crush their furniture and demand as much acceptance and attention as the super models.


Who cares? Fact is Guys can dislike chubby women if they want. If there’s abuse going on let’s report it together but otherwise shut up and accept that slice of cheesecake every day is the reason men don’t look at you like Miss October.

[clampfan101]

I want my partner to be a woman who cares about her health. Anything close to average is fine, but if she lets herself get too overweight she won’t be a good example for our children. I want her to be healthy for everyone’s sake, especially her own. Not just mine.

[Miristheiss]

Well... there is thick but fit... somewhat soft and chubby and there is fat.

Where those lines are between each of those categories probably differs with each person and each see things differently.

Your example picture. She is quite hot.

I'm sure some guys don't like chubby girls but plenty of others do. You paint with too broad a brush.

I'd say most guys are not romantically interested in obese girls.

[Miristheiss]

Per your update... my point there is that chubby is chubby in the eye of the beholder.

You refer to it as if it is an agreed upon standard. Person B may find someone chubby... person C may find them fat... person D may find them curvy/thick.

Each persons' individual mindset and tastes may play a roll in that too. Not everyone will be in agreement.

[Cherry234]

Not all of them are. I think it's perfectly fine for a man to prefer a woman that is thin or is in shape. People are allowed to have standards. It's fine to find certain body types attractive. What's not okay is shaming people that aren't your type.

[DaveJord]

You get my vote for being the most helpful.

[Cherry234]

Oh thank you

[MotorcycleMan]

Society and cultural norms change from time to time and place to place. It used to be that larger women were considered more attractive and it's still so in some cultures. The thin look came from modeling where they wanted thin women to be a "hanger" for the clothing to show off the clothing rather than curves.
There are still a lot of men who prefer larger curvier women. It's not so much prejudice as a personal preference.

[MCheetah]

Socioeconomics. Rich and upper middle class men equate beauty with diets and very healthy eating, all of which are rich/upper middle class luxuries, for the most part (at least, in first world countries). Those who are working class or poor tend to prefer thicker women, as it's a subconscious sign of her being well fed, and wealthy, as was the case hundreds of years ago in Europe.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Women will do this to men also. Everyone has standards and discriminates for their personal choices.

[Seangreen]

Because being overweight regardless of how much or how little is unhealthy and I'm a little overweight myself so I'm not trying to say i'm hot im just saying our instincts want us to reproduce with a good set of other genes so if we see someone who is obese or other problems and we don't want our genes mixed with that subconsciously we're not going to be attracted to that it's called a sexual selection

[FinalFantasyBro]

Honestly that girl in the picture you shown actually looks really hot, I can handle a bit of chubby. I actually happened to be a bit chubby myself but their is a difference between being chubby while still taking great care of yourself over being overweight and refusing to fix the situation.

[TheBMG]

This particular girl is beautiful. Nothing wrong with her. All you Asshats that are saying stuff like “roll her back into the ocean “ ~ Anonymous, are hiding yourselves so no one can judge you. Real fucking brave of you. All women of all different types bring beauty into this world.