I am friends with this guy, we went clubbing and I kissed him then later kissed another guy during the night am I in the wrong?

[Anonymous]

We both thought each other was attractive but apparently he likes me which i didn’t know. His friends are angry at me because they think i “cheated” on him and was leading him on. Again, I didn’t know he liked me. However, me and him are chatting like normal and he hasn’t brought it up since. He did look upset and was silent when the group walked back home and i felt bad. Not sure if i should apologise or just leave it seeing as it’s been 3 days. I wouldn’t have even kissed him if i knew he liked me that much. i’m stressing

[Anonymous]

It's not cheating - it was just a kiss. You did make yourself look like you were easy/slut to his overly judgmental friends. Forget them.

The more important thing is how he will view it, and you. He probably doesn't judge you for it, but it's almost a 100% certainty he has assumed you're not interested in him.

It's entirely down to you to reverse this. It's not going to happen on its own, and he won't because he can't. If you don't reverse this, you can kiss any chance with him goodbye. He'll talk to you, sure, but he will never ever ask you out.

You need to fix this. But you probably won't. Women hate taking direct action.

[Asker]

I don’t want to be in a relationship but i will talk to him.

[Opinion Owner]

If you don't, then it's fine, he will not be pursuing you and you don't have to do anything to fix this.

[FilmGuy93]

You sound very wrong in this situation, yeah. You wouldn't have kissed him if you knew he liked you? What kind of backwards insanity is that? This is the textbook example of a woman leading a guy on. The only thing missing is him buying you a bunch of stuff.

[Asker]

I wouldn’t have kissed him because then that would be leading him on

[FilmGuy93]

No, the leading him on part happened when you found him attractive and started flirting with him for fun. Kissing him was just the culmination of the situation. You were leading him on either way; him liking you just makes it more likely that he would follow up.

[Asker]

I can’t help finding him attractive and i don’t flirt with him for fun, I don't know why you’re assuming all these things lol.

[FilmGuy93]

I'm just going by what you told me. You said you found him attractive and you kissed him. If you didn't flirt with him, what led you to think kissing him was a good idea?

[Asker]

I don’t flirt with him but that night we were dancing together

[FilmGuy93]

lol I've kissed enough women to know that doesn't happen without flirting. Even if you didn't think of it as flirting; he did.

[Asker]

okay

[Cherry234]

You didn't cheat on him. You said you're just friends with him. That's not cheating since you're not in a relationship with him. Just apologize to him. It's okay; everyone makes mistakes. Just be careful not to make the same mistake again.

[spartan55]

There is zero chance she apologizes.

[Asker]

@spartan55 I will apologise?

[Cherry234]

@spartan55 Leaver her alone. She knows what she did and she's going to fix her mistake.

[spartan55]

@Cherry234
Who are you, her bodyguard? She's a big girl, I think she's got it.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Cherry234]

@Asker You're welcome. Some of these guys on here are overreacting to what you did.

[Cherry234]

@spartan55 I believe in standing up for people. I should do more of it so now is good start.

[Cherry234]

* a good start

[spartan55]

@Cherry234
Sounds good, you did a great job!

[slatyb]

Sounds ridiculous. What do you want to happen next? Do you want to see the first guy again? His friends don't seem very nice.

[Asker]

Yeah i do

[Heartache0405]

Sounds to me like you're fucking around with multiple men's emotions as if their emotions don't matter

[Asker]

How so?

[spartan55]

"You didn't know he liked you" Yeah, I start at safety for the Eagles too... such a lie.

[Asker]

I didn’t. He didn’t show any signs of liking me, to my knowledge anyways, and was talking to other girls and meeting up with them.

[spartan55]

So, when he kissed you that didn't clue you in?

[Asker]

that’s all people do in clubs, i thought it could be a drunken kiss

[Jamie05rhs]

If everyone is doing that, then no wonder we have a Coronavirus pandemic.

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs well my country’s not doing too bad with it but yeah clubs probably shouldn’t be open

[spartan55]

@asker
"that's all people do in clubs"
You just won't take any ownership.

[Asker]

It’s true tho. I kissed another boy and it was bad, i feel really guilty for doing it. I’m going to apologise when i see him. I don’t know what else you’re expecting me to say.

[spartan55]

@asker
That's all you can do.

[Miristheiss]

Well I wouldn't want you any more.
If I were him I would find you gross and find someone else.

[Asker]

well that’s fine, i only want to be his friend.

[Miristheiss]

I wouldn't be your friend either... go away.

[Asker]

well it’s a good thing that you’re not my friend lmaoo

[RoccRaider241]

Easy. trade places with the guy how would you feel if that happened to you?

[Asker]

well if i didn’t like him i wouldn’t mind too much, but if i did i would be hurt. I’m not saying his feelings aren’t valid cause i understand it completely, i’m just trying to find out if what i did was wrong.

[RoccRaider241]

Yes you did something wrong, before you make a move like that I'd suggest talk to him about how he feels about an intimate relationship. Whether hooking to settle down or he's single and ready to mingle or doesn't care. That way you know where you stand with him. That way you know if you make a move, like you did it won't come with strings or it will.

[Jamie05rhs]

You kissed him, and then you kissed another guy? That's fucked up.

[Asker]

How so? Because he is my friend or just because i kissed another guy?

[Jamie05rhs]

It was incredibly rude! How do you look yourself in the mirror? A kiss is supposed to mean something. You totally dissed the first guy by doing that to him.

[Asker]

A kiss in the club doesn’t mean anything, i don’t think you understand how people my age see kisses. It’s casual thing, you pull then leave, everyone does it

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. Well, maybe you should ask him how he felt about it. His opinion matters more than mine.

[Asker]

Yeah I was planning to when i saw him next

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. That's good.

[spartan55]

@Jamie05rhs
She seems to have taken responsibility for her part... 🙄... just amazing.

[Asker]

@spartan55 you’re really mad, calm down

[spartan55]

@asker
Not mad about anything, but thanks for telling me how I feel.

[Asker]

@spartan55 you’re replying to most of the comments. I was just guessing

[spartan55]

Just trying to get you to take some ownership for, what you did, but that doesn't seem to be happening.

[LegendaryIcon]

Just means you have no self control

Likely drunk

[Asker]

Well i was saying no to guys that were coming up to me but my friend set me up with the other guy

[LegendaryIcon]

like i said...

[spartan55]

@asker you aren't taking ANY responsibility for your actions.. every answer from you has an excuse attached to it.

[LegendaryIcon]

@spartan55 Bullies, make excuses. Just ask trump

[spartan55]

@legendaryicon
Right?

[Asker]

@spartan55 Because as much i don’t want to be the person who hurts him, i’m not loyal to this guy cause we’re not together. I've only know him 3 months and we’ve met about 4 times within a group setting. If i knew he liked me and purposely went to kiss another guy then yeah i would take full responsibility but i was just doing what any other girl and guy do in clubs

[Asker]

bully? 💀

[spartan55]

I get that. But even if you don't know he likes you he is still someone you know, so I would just play it safe. I'll assume you didn't know the other guy, which makes just one of those things.

[LegendaryIcon]

@spartan55 Exactly

All im saying is, she needs to learn self control

[spartan55]

@legendaryicon
Indeed.

[Asker]

@spartan55 Yeah okay, thanks

[Wise4myage]

That's called playing the field, and its fine as long as you are single.

[emperor90]

Its not yoir fault but i say stay with the guy u like

[Asker]

i don’t like any guy

[emperor90]

Well go with what your heart says

[bean2k21]

why you worried about it now you already did it

[Asker]

Because i’m pretty good friends with his other friend, we’re in a group together so i’m worried it’s ruined things.

[JohnK123]

You kissed two guys so yes

[Asker]

kissing two guys isn’t bad, it’s just the fact that i done it after i kissed him.

[Steve1071]

Yup, you stepped in the shit. Just leave him be.

[Asker]

He’s a good friend, i don’t think i will unless he says do.

[Anonymous]

you're a piece of shit

[Asker]

💀 how

[PeterSmith1983]

It's just a kiss

[Asker]

that’s what i was thinking but people see it differently

[PeterSmith1983]

That's up to them