I’m not sure if to forgive or how to forgive him ?

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to be forgiving but It’s not seeming to happen. I’ve been friends with this guy for over a year we literally tell each other everything and I’m not going to ask I’m not afraid to ask for things. He’s financially stable and all so I made an order of 50 dollars coming to my country and asked if he wanted to help with it which he said no. And kept telling me stupid I need to get something for him first before he does that. The statement itself isn’t stupid but I’ve asked for his delivery address and gotten nothing from him like where am I meant to ship your present ☹️ You’re not meant to know when you’re receiving a gift and I feel like he feels like I’m only with him for presents but I’m like that to everyone literally it’s nothing special. I wasn’t even upset about it but it’s the entire idea of the stupid silent treatment he gave me and unfortunately around 24th my cousin had an car accident and I needed my friend to talk to and he wasn’t talking to me. I’m trying to be understanding and all because it’s Christmas but I just can’t bring myself too.

[Anonymous]

You’re having a hard time forgiving him, but honestly this is the problem because your desire to hold a grudge in this situation is selfish. From my understanding, you ask this guy for money and/or gifts without a second thought, but have you really considered how he feels? He probably feels like you just use him for his money and never gift him back. Sure maybe you had the intention to get him a gift, but I just think he’s feeling over it now. Like it took him having to call you out in order to have you want to have to give him something and so from his perspective that has to suck a lot. So rather than having a temper tantrum because he was upset and feeling used, you should be trying to mend things because you’re majorly at fault here. If he forgives you then commit to his friendship and not his money. Don’t even ask him to buy you another thing like some beggar. Be his FRIEND and show him the money doesn’t matter.

[Asker]

Thank you and I agree with you we just made up

[Opinion Owner]

Oh good :) and no worries, hopefully you guys won’t have any more issues going forward. Happy Christmas.

[kyleelyn199723]

So let me get this straight. You asked for money like a panhandler , he has cold feet with your friendship now because he sends you are a user, and now you are mad?

[kyleelyn199723]

Senses*

[Asker]

I’m not mad at the not giving me money and no I didn’t ask like a panhandler 😒 I’m mad he kept giving me the silent treatment when I needed to talk to him most

[Asker]

Maybe you have a different culture but it’s Normal to ask for things from me or from family or friends NORMAL! There’s no drama associated with it. It’s an equal field because when you give you receive that’s how it works. So I wasn’t bothered about that

[kyleelyn199723]

@tinana you have WAY too much entitlement. He has cold feet because you decided to make it up to you on how he is supposed to give away his money. You also claim to expect gifts in your friendships. You seem like a high maintenance friend and that’s draining. You can’t blame him for giving you the silent treatment after you took it upon yourself to ruin any possible trust he had with you

[kyleelyn199723]

@Tianana if he has a problem with it, then it’s not your culture, it’s you that is the problem.

[Asker]

🤔 he’s not part of my culture. I never cared if he paid or not I was simply giving the context of what led to the silent treatment. And gifting us something common here. I am high maintenance I’m not going to lie 😂 but still I never cared if he paid not. It just felt weird not talking to him after my cousin’s accident

[kyleelyn199723]

So he is not entitled to give you a friendship if he feels used. Friendships are not mandatory in life. You lost his trust, and he doesn’t want to communicate. Your issues are not his, and you sound like a rather draining friend anyways. You are putting the fact that he hasn’t reached out because you have family issues going on as a problem, when you created a problem between you and him that you are being immature about when it comes to making things right

[Asker]

I am not a draining friend. We never stay mad at each other the following day someone usually makes amends 😒 and it’s usually the one who initiates the silent treatment. You must be an easily offended friend 😂

[kyleelyn199723]

Then why hasn’t he talked to you for a couples of days if this is normal? Because it’s not normal. I’m not an easily offended friend, I just think high maintenance friends are ridiculous and immature. Makes you look bummy as hell that you really took it upon yourself to try and reach in his wallet. If that’s normal in your country, feel free to tell me what country you are from so I never be friend someone from there

[Asker]

😂😂😂 I’m actually quite confused why you’re pained and you’re telling me you’re not an easily offended friend 😂😂

[kyleelyn199723]

Because people like you are annoying as hell to society. It’s all about “me, me, me” oh I can easily use my friend but god forbid he doesn’t hit me up after I. Make advances showing I’m using him ☹️

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂 lol well why you were ranting we just made up sort your issues out girllll you CLEARLY have a problem

[kyleelyn199723]

I’m just explaining to you, that you are the issue here and he shouldn’t be the one to fixing your annoying using ass. Sorry I’m too blunt for you here. The other girl said the exact same thing I did.

[Asker]

Nope you just kept attacking me two different things 😇 be nicer kyleelyn it’s still the festive season

[kyleelyn199723]

Because it seems like people need to make it clear to you, that your friend isn’t the issue and you are taking advantage of a good friend. That’s scummy

[Asker]

🙄🙄🙄 I’m not taking advantage of anyone. Because I asked doesn’t mean I was going to get I always knew he wasn’t going to. I guess I just assumed he should’ve known me well enough to know I knew he wasn’t going to pay😂

[kyleelyn199723]

@Tinana so you were getting ready to wire money to your country because that’s what your culture does and you don’t see that as using? But hey you made up, so you know best 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

And Kyleelyn because you don’t ask your friends for things doesn’t make it wrong to do so. If my friends asked if 1001% give them because I know I can always count on them to help me too. And if you don’t have those friends then you might need new ones 😇

[kyleelyn199723]

@tinana yeah I don’t ask my friends for money because I’m not a bum and make my own money. I don’t rely on friends for money. I have friends that would visit me if I was on my death bed , or in the hospital when I’m sick. I’m sorry you can’t relate because you think friends giving you materlistic things is what makes a friendship. But again , you know best.

[Asker]

I never wanted to receive the money 😂😂😂 brooo shein was doing a free delivery to my country for anything over 50 dollars and he usually says that anytime he wanted to get something for me the delivery prices were crazy that’s why I told him about it. I didn’t want his money 😂😂😂

[Asker]

He was just going to take my items on my cart and pay for them not directly giving me money 😂😂😂😂

[kyleelyn199723]

So why did he feel like you were using him? Maybe you need to be clear of your intentions instead of trying to be sneaky. The sneakiness comes off as usey

[Asker]

What the hell are you saying. Maybe you don’t like gifts or whatever 😂😂😂 but the relationship with my friends you give you receive give and receive it’s not one sided. We both give the first time I spoke with him I kept thinking of what to send to him but I didn’t have his address. I have never ever ever been a one sided collector to get from you means I’m willing to go broke for you and that’s my mindset 😇 if that’s an issue welll I’m not changing anytime soon

[kyleelyn199723]

@tinana I don’t mind gift receiving and giving, but you need to be sincere. Asking him for money in a sneakingly way , doesn’t sound like you have good intentions. It doesn’t make any sense. You are also jumping back and fourth from “this is what we do in our culture” to “I wasn’t using him for his money” you don’t sound very trustworthy

[Asker]

Omgggg kyleelyn those shein outfits are soooo cuteee 🌚 I ordered them already while he was being dramatic. Now my job is to take pictures with them 😂😂😂😂

[kyleelyn199723]

I just ordered from Shein, shopping addiction there. But don’t say that he was being dramatic, you need to realize your faults to create a long lasting friendship

[Asker]

I wasn’t asking him for money 😂 I was going to give him the cart to pay. And usually it’s normal to have that gifting culture here. 🤔 I’m still trying to adjust with his different cultural believes.

[kyleelyn199723]

That sounds like another way of asking for money. If you are going to be friends with people from different countries, you really need to learn proper etiquette because if my friend told me to buy her what’s in her shopping cart out of no where, I’d tell her she is out of her damn mind. I do give gifts, but they are gifts I choose and aren’t forced upon. That is not gift giving

[Asker]

😂😂😂 rightttt those outfits were so pretty 🤩. 🤔 and I do agree that😞 I tend to go overboard sometimes 🥺

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂😂 i agree with that but I only asked because he’d complain about the shipping fees

[Wise4myage]

Forgive him this one time, buy let him know how you feel.

[EaterPeter]

Start with forgiving yourself.

[PeterSmith1983]

Selfish