Do men get less emtional support than women?

[marish01]

Do you think men are more likely to suffer with emotional support?

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

Yes but men tend to shun emotional support in fear of looking needy and weak (especially in public). They do this for social pressure and Freudian reasons.

Lots of women say “oh it’s okay if men open up” but let’s get real about the ugly truth. Deep down most women feel a sense of disgust towards men who often show their emotions. They might not even consciously think that but somewhere the deep down they hate it. At best they see them as another woman. In a dating situation this is a one way ticket to the friéndzone.

[Ange-Etrange]

I get what you mean but why you talking about women? Men cannot open up to others men?

But more important, you shouldn't see women as being responsible for answering men need of support. Professionals exists for a reason.

Would you like to be a therapist for any men suffering? Most likely not and that's normal. So don't blame women. When we say men need to open up more that's doesn't mean to us and from anyone. Just a general tip.

[Opinion Owner]

@Ange-Etrange men do open to other men privately. We tend to have a closer knit circle of friends especially as we age. But we risk much more than women do if publicly display our emotions. We lose much more face.

What I don’t like is how some women encourage men to show their sensitivities and vulnerabilities in romantic situations. However when this happens the woman often feels less attracted to the man unless it’s for a very good reason (e. g. death in the family).

I can still remember the only (and the only) time i cried in front of my ex girlfriend. All I said was “I was miss talking to you”. Which was the truth. I will never forget the absolute disgust in her voice with her callous response.

[humpbackjack]

I’m assuming you’re saying us men would suffer more due to lack of emotional support and yes I’d agree with that but most of us don’t open up very easily I mean in real life I don’t like to talk a lot it’s not because I’m shy or anything it’s because I don’t really do small talk and don’t really trust anyone to talk about personal issues but on here I’ll talk about some shit because it’s safe in a sense because of the fact nobody knows me don’t get me wrong I don’t let anyone walk on me I have no problem standing up for myself if anything it’s the opposite and really its something I’ve been working on you can’t be my age and getting into fist fights

[Ange-Etrange]

I work in mental health.

Unfortunately, yes. Not only mental health support for men is insufficient but they also request help the less, which contribute to a lack of support in the first place.

For one men mental support, they're dozen for women.

Men should not be afraid of speaking and reaching people out when they are in a bad place. Also more men should be involved in mental health services and assos.

Be the change you want to see. Don't complain on the internet, being an internet social justice warrior doesn't solve shit for anyone.

[marish01]

We should let men know we care about them. Unless they are sure we do they won't come to us for help.

[hsshannah96]

Hard to get emotional support when they’re apparently having a very hard time and they look like everything is fine. I watch tv shows where they appear just fine but I listen to them talking to their dude friends about a challenge they’re working with. after being badgered about it about 10 times to talk about it.

I can’t help guys with that anymore. They don’t want me to

[Finchie40]

I say yes cuz most girl’s act like us guys don’t have feelings which is a load of shit , we just hold it in better , Yes guys are attracted to a girl’s physical appearance but he also has to be attracted to her emotional appearance as well her personality and her morals and how she looks at relationships, if she is loyal and trusting , unless he is just looking to get laid then he is just looking at her physical appearance or he isn’t looking at anything , but when a guy really likes a girl and wants to be with her and wants her in his arms he needs both from her , Guys need to feel wanted and to feel respected , Most of us guys want a girl that only has eyes for us if she shows us that then we will do what it takes to love her and respect her , Most girl’s need a guy she can look up to , where she can feel safe and secure in his arms , that listens to her and has her back that will work hard for her nd put up with her shit , A guy won’t show his emotional feelings to her as much cuz he doesn’t want to lose her he will hold it in as much as possible to not kill his ego and let her know he is there for her an that he isn't a coward , he will take a bunch of her nagging and bitching and do his best to let her know he is there for her , A guy that loves his girl will provide for her and protect her , he will get jealous if other guys are hitting on her but will hold that in as best as he can, to let her know he trusts her but deep down he is hurting , Most girls like to make their men jealous cuz most girls are turned on by a secure dominate man , she acts like he shouldn’t have insecurities , which everyone has insecurities whether they say they do or not, so being a little insecure is a Good thing , it shows your partner that they are scared to lose you cuz they love you so much and most the time it isn’t insecurities it’s just that a guy knows what other guys are thinking , But , if someone is over insecure then usually that means something else is happening in that relationship to make them feel that way , Not all insecurities are bad if you actually wear your partners shoes and see why they are being so insecure , Most girls are instantly turned off by a guys insecurities which a girl honestly shouldn’t be unless he doesn’t trust anything she does then that’s a problem lol But if a guy gets jealous of her going out for girl’s night that’s cuz he knows what other guys are thinking and he knows he isn’t there to protect her , Girl’s shouldn’t be putting themselves in those situations if they actually loved and valued their man , she should make him a priority just like he does for her , but girls will be selfish and do what’s best for her and listen to her toxic friends that will pretty much try to pull her away from her relationship with him. A guy that loves his girl will put his girl over his friends and a girl should do the same if she wants her relationship to survive , it doesn’t take much to keep us guys happy in a relationship , we just need to feel that she is loyal to us and only has eyes for us and yes sex , sex is important , if she denies him sex a bunch of times he will feel she doesn’t value and respect him and probably start looking elsewhere

[ChrisMaster69]

Yes but a lot is self inflicted.

by male society in general and guys themselves.

for example, the counselling centre I worked at,

We could have say 10 girls contact the centre for counselling and we would have 9 turn up for initial assessment, then say 8 for counselling.

with guys 10 would contact the centre 4 turn up for initial assessment and then 2 for counselling, with one likely dropping out after a few weeks due to peer pressure or image of having counselling.

[VertigoJ]

We're traditionally raised to avoid asking for it, and thus, we get less. If it's needed and you're open, you tend to get it. Women, especially seem to be open to supporting the emotional needs of men, or at least understanding them. I wouldn't survive without my network of support. However, the world is changing, albeit, not really quickly enough, and it's becoming more common for men to recognise the need for and actually ask for it.

[hellacray]

I wouldn't say suffer but yes men I would say get very little emotional support compared to women.

Well I'm not sure about kids today, since we might be living in the snowflake era where everything is offensive and should be spoken about.

But for me men should be strong and feelings are rarely talked about.

[LordOfThePines]

Yes, and no. We generally don't, but that is by and large our own fault. We spent centuries building up this idea of "manhood", where we are expected to be stoic, aggressive when necessary and to be unemotional. We still do this and the society it built reinforces it and promotes it still, so we end up still emotionally stunted and unsupported. But we fail to often realize that it's ok to ask for help, to reach out and help another who is struggling.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Simply consult the suicide statistics for references.
https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide#Sex_and_gender

[JosyJosy]

I believe so and so do many others, it's sad to see the results, but this is the society we're in

[Subarugirl]

Absolutely! With out a shadow of and doubt and unfortunately the effects of toxic masculinity has a big part to play in this.

[marish01]

Do you think male issues are taken as seriously as female issues?

[Subarugirl]

Depends on which context? Since we are asking random, what is up with obsession about your lips?

[marish01]

I mean maybe men don't seek for help because they don't believe others care to help them.
You mean why I posted my lip pic as avi?

[Subarugirl]

I think that a lot of men don't seek help, because seeking help is seen as weak, therefore unmasculine/feminine. It all comes down to a cultural set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, that have a negative impact on men and on society as a whole. It start at a young age and is usually passed down end reinforced by parents or authority figures. It's sayings like "boys don't cry" . There's a toxic mentality that talking about your feelings and problems makes you weak. Let me put it like this.
No one blinks an eye when someone seeks treatment for a physical illness, but when a person seeks help for a mental illness it is still stigmatized.

[marish01]

Why does a suicidal man not seek emotional support from others unlike a suicidal woman?

[Subarugirl]

Well there are plenty of people who never seek help for being suicidal, men and women. There's a toxic mentality that talking about your feelings and problems makes you weak, and that weakness is a feminine quality. This research article talks more about the cultural impact of perceived vulnerability and weakness has on this demographic.
"Help Seeking: Perceived vulnerability, fear, and denial are important influences on whether men seek help. They look for help for specific problems rather than for more general health concerns. (3) Barriers: Personal barriers involved factors related to a man's traditional social role characteristics: a sense of immunity and immortality; difficulty relinquishing control; a belief that seeking help is unacceptable; and believing men are not interested in prevention. Systematic barriers had to do with time and access; having to state the reason for a visit; and the lack of a male care provider. "
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9934383/

[marish01]

I mean a SUICIDAL man doesn't seek for emotional support unlike a SUICIDAL woman.
I did stress SUICIDAL for a reason.
At the time of thinking about committing suicide a man is less likely to think about seeking for emotional support than a woman.
Why?

[Subarugirl]

I answered the question, but I will repeat myself.
There's a toxic mentality that talking about your feelings and problems makes you weak, and that weakness is a feminine quality. This research article talks more about the cultural impact of perceived vulnerability and weakness has on this demographic.
"Help Seeking: Perceived vulnerability, fear, and denial are important influences on whether men seek help. They look for help for specific problems rather than for more general health concerns. (3) Barriers: Personal barriers involved factors related to a man's traditional social role characteristics: a sense of immunity and immortality; difficulty relinquishing control; a belief that seeking help is unacceptable; and believing men are not interested in prevention. Systematic barriers had to do with time and access; having to state the reason for a visit; and the lack of a male care provider. "

[Subarugirl]

Here is another article posted by The Center for Anxiety and Behavior Management that reiterates what I have been trying to explain.
Even though suicide rates have been increasing across the board, men still account for well over half of all completed suicides. Women attempt suicide more often, but men tend to use more lethal and violent means, nearly eliminating the potential for survival. These facts alone highlight the need to address the stigma men feel surrounding mental illness and why it is so important for them to seek help anyway.
Perceived Factors Behind Masculine Stigma
Weakness – Even though traditional gender roles have begun to shift, men still receive the message loud and clear that society expects them to be tough. This “protector” mentality means that a lot of men feel the need to hide any perceived “weaknesses” they may have. Efforts to appear “tough” can be dangerous and prevent men from seeking the mental health treatment they need.
Lack of Control – Another obstacle keeping men from seeking professional help is the idea that men should have complete control over their emotions. The media and messages that men encounter daily praise macho men who can be a rock for those around them. Bottling up emotions for the sake of appearing emotionally stable can actually have lasting negative effects on one’s mental health.
Emasculating Language – Boys grow up surrounded by language telling them to “Man up!” and “Boys don’t cry!” The language in our society often gives men the idea that talking about their feelings makes them feminine and any show of emotion should be reserved for women. These messages can come across as emasculating and may leave those who need help, especially with managing mood disorders, questioning their worth as a “real man.”

[marish01]

No you didn't get.
A suicidal man who is ready to kill himself doesn't care about being viewed as weak for asking help. Because at that time it bothers him the least.
I stressed SUICIDAL for a reason.

[Subarugirl]

Feeling Like a Failure – When men internalize hypermasculine expectations, they set themselves up to feel inadequate by comparison. If men don’t feel like they fit into the mold of an unshakable, unwavering tough guy, they may feel like they are a failure as a husband, as a father, or even as a man. The shame often associated with these feelings keep many men from asking for help, even when they need it, for the sake of saving face.
Waste of Resources – Even beyond the more societal roadblocks to seeking mental health treatment, many men are under the impression that seeking treatment won’t help. They may believe mental health treatment isn’t necessary in the way medical treatment is and thus they are going to be wasting their time and/or money. The stereotypical perception of talk therapy, with a therapist asking people “How does that make you feel?” as they lay on a couch, often bars men from looking into mental health treatment options. What some men may not be aware of is that not all mental health therapists practice in this stereotypical way. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a very action-oriented, strategy-focused, and collaborative approach which might appeal to men who aren’t comfortable with traditional models of psychotherapy.

[Subarugirl]

Despite common misconceptions keeping men from seeking the treatment they need, it is extremely important for men to get psychological help. As men become more willing to talk about their mental health, developers can increase the effectiveness of interventions and suicide prevention efforts. Since they are often overlooked and underrepresented in mental health efforts and research, men represent one of the most psychologically vulnerable populations. By decreasing self-stigma through education and disseminating more comprehensive information about mental illness in men, significant strides can be made to redress men’s negative attitudes toward psychological treatment and encourage them to seek appropriate help.

anxietyandbehaviornj.com/.../

[Subarugirl]

@marish01 I recommend reading the article, it does a really good job of describing why men are less likely to seek help for mental illness

[marish01]

I know. But I asked why suicidal men don't seek for help.
At the moment of thinking about suicide they don't care about being viewed as emasculine. So that masculinity thing doesn't apply them AT THE MOMENT of thinking about suicide.
But a SUICIDAL woman is more likely to seek help at the moment of thinking about suicide. She believes others can help her but the suicidal man doesn't think so otherwise he would seek for help too. What stops him? His lack of belief that people care about him or can help him.
At the desperate moment of planning suicide the least thing that worries him is being viewed as weak or not masculine. He is ready to do something that is way weaker than just crying or asking for help. You think he would worry about appearing as weak for seeking help?

[marish01]

By the way I know you are not indifferent for male suicide. I believe you're a good person. I don't want to come out as if I am angry with you. I am sincerely discussing this issue with you.

[Subarugirl]

The evidence suggests that yes, the stigma that surrounds men's mental heath and perceived masculinity plays a big part in getting medical treatment, period. The number one cause for suicide is mental illness, followed by traumatic experiences. When it comes to seeking help for mental illness, there are a lot of cultural barriers that make that really difficult for them to do.
Suicide is the symptom of a much larger issue at play here.
This article posted by The U. S. National Library of Medicine presents some evidence that addresses this issue and this barrier between mental illness in men and receiving treatment. It goes on to say that " The overall prevalence of mental illness in men is typically lower. However, mental health among men often goes untreated because they are far less likely to seek mental health treatment than women."

[Subarugirl]

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7444121/

[marish01]

Ok. So a suicidal man wants to kill himself but is still not sure if he should or not what stops him from seeking help?
Please don't say he rather kill himself than ask someone to talk to him about his issue.

[Subarugirl]

That question is going to be specific to the person. But according to the American Journal of Men’s Health
“One of the areas where wide agreement among experts arose was the thought that stigma is an extreme barrier to those needing mental health treatment.”

[marish01]

Yes I understand that but then again my question refers to the suicidal men who thinks about whether killing himself or not. He obviously doesn't care about being viewed as weak so that toxic masculinity doesn't bother him. If it bothered he wouldn't think about acting weak aka committing suicide.

[marish01]

There is no such an article that claims how suicidal men bothered about masculinity status at the moment of thinking about suicide. They don't seek psychological help at the moment not because they think it is weak of men to do that but because no one can help them or cares to help them.
How is asking for help weaker than committing suicide. They don't care about masculinity when they reached the point of killing themselves.
Toxic masculinity affects before they are suicidal. Meaning they might bother about being viewed as not masculine and so don't seek for help before reaching to the suicidal condition but when reaching there they don't seek for help not for the same reason.

[marish01]

Can you bring any article that explains why suicidal men don't usually seek emotional support from others unlike suicidal women?

Suicidal men.

[Subarugirl]

healthydebate.ca/2017/08/topic/male-suicide/

Here is one.

The main thing is though that suicide is usually a symptom of a mental health crisis, the two are not mutually exclusive.

[marish01]

Yes but that applies to women too.
Suicide is usually a symptom of a mental health crisis for both genders. Not for men only.
Then why SUICIDAL WOMEN are way more likely to seek help than SUICIDAL MEN.
And that seeking help happens at the moment of being SUICIDAL.
So why do suicidal women still think about getting help but suicidal men don't.

[Subarugirl]

all the evidence points towards the fact that men are more likely to commit suicide because they are less likely to seek help, because of the stigma that surrounds men seeking that help.

[marish01]

So suicidal men don't seek help because they are afraid of being viewed as weak?

Really?

[marish01]

Why are suicidal men more likely bot to seek help than suicudal women?
What stops them?

[ChrisMaster69]

@marish01 on the suicide side of things, I have worked with people that committed suicide, one of my friends used a shot gun, a couple other hung themselves and another a hose in to his car.

The stereotypical gentleman in his study being handed a pistol and a single round, with the words ‘do the honourable thing Sir’

Sort of nails it, bizarrely suicide is seen as almost as more honourable than breaking down with emotion and being seen as weak ‘For heavens sake man get a grip’ .

I’ve talked to guys who are suicide survivors, when asked why did they not ask for help, you get looked at as if stupid and invariably it’s along the lines of ‘what? And admit i am a failure’

Committing suicide is not seen as being weak, it is seen as the final act a MAN can take.

[Subarugirl]

The article explains why… 90% of people who commit suicide struggle with mental illness. Men are less likely to seek treatment for mental illness because of stigma that surrounds men seeking treatment that would help with suicidal urges….
Men commit suicide at higher rates because they don’t seek help…

[marish01]

I understand that. I am not asking to what leads men to suicidal thoughts. I am asking whay makes already suicidal men not seek help.

[marish01]

@ChrisMaster69
Wnd saying suicide is viewed as a manly act is bs that you just made up to fit your narrative.
So men who committed suicide worried about being seen as weak? How can others views about them bother them when they reach to the point of killing themselves.
This makes no sense.
Men who are about to commit suicide don't seek help because they believe no one can help them or cares to help them.

[ChrisMaster69]

@marish01 Do you have PTSD? Have you been to friends funerals who have committed suicide
Do you volunteer with a charity dealing with PTSD
If not, do not call it as you did.
I gave you the actual reason
You are exceptionally naive.
I deal with plenty ex military people and this is one of main reasons.
Life gets simply too much, they are dealing with everything failing around them, they view it as a way to end the pain, the disgrace they feel at failing.

[marish01]

@ChrisMaster69 your anecdotal experience doesn't even prove the point you're making nor does it answer the question I asked many times.

[ChrisMaster69]

@marish01 as with most things on here you only want to hear what your mind wants to,
If it’s religion, abortion, having kids, getting pregnant etc, you constantly fail to listen to others, you ignore what they say.

I simply give up with you

I’ve dealt with this for over 20 years.

[marish01]

@ChrisMaster69 I see no rational argument that is whh I keep on arguing. But if you really think of me that way then isn't it better not to ever talk to me?

[Subarugirl]

Actually it’s not, in Japanese culture, suicide after defeat was honorable

[marish01]

Facepalm.
But what does that have to do with suicidal men in modeen world?
Are you saying suicidal men commit suicide because they get inspired by japanese culture's old tradition? 🤦🏻‍♀️

[GingerGuy]

Absolutely. And even if the support is there, some men won't take it. Just a man thing (it's not manly we're taught). Men are supposed to be strong (rolling eyes).

[Not_Average]

They do. The same women who act like they care about this shame the fuck out of men complaining on here.

[marish01]

I know. Look at feminists.
They claim men are shamed for crying yet they are the ones calling MTGOW crubabies, whinies. Not to mention how they don't make any actions supporting desperate men yet they believe saying that toxic masculinity and patriarchy hurt men is the most generous thing feminism can do for men. The truth is feminists are intimidated by masculine men and they want to kill masculinity of men in the name of toxic masculinity as if it damages men. But of course men's mental health are the last thing feminists care about.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

100% yes, and it sucks because some of us feel things very deeply and have so few outlets to express that!

[Jamie05rhs]

I think that's true.
But I also think that women are more likely to be encouraged by anyone, while men are more likely to want that support to come from someone meaningful. But lmk if you disagree.

[Anonymous]

Men obviously get far less emotional support than women, and it's true that they are less likely to seek help. But there is a lot of dishonesty, especially among women, about why that is.

[marish01]

They only blame patriarchy. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, patriarchy and "toxic masculinity". Typical feminist dishonesty.

[marish01]

But I have seen many feminists calling men whinies, crybabies on social media.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, of course. That is modern feminism.

[Anonymous]

Of course.
I think you can go pretty deep into the issues, but that's not necessary to find a yes from the question. Women are obviously supported by men, and men will obviously be supported less than that by women. Done.

[Ange-Etrange]

Actually, most women are supported by women. Not men. And usually family or professional.

[Opinion Owner]

I never said women are more supported by men. So...

[Ange-Etrange]

You said women are obviously supported by men. It is not the case.

[Opinion Owner]

@Ange-Etrange They *are* supported by men. That statement is completely compatible with women being *more* supported by women. I chose the words carefully when I wrote them for just that reason.

[andy530]

I believe so yes. I also believe we are generally socialized not to ask for or seek emotional support or help.

[Juxtapose]

Waaay less but things are getting a bit better these days.

[Franky666]

Pretty obvious although me would be astounded how much support The would get when they dared to ask and show.

[marish01]

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Yes, they get less and they seek less.. probably a bad downward spiral.

[Cubus]

I believe yes. Men is not to be seen as "emotional"

[Anonymous]

Of course. But it's not like we're not used to it. You can't really miss what you've never had. Lol