Is it possible a guy at work sees me as someone he can cheat on his girlfriend with meanwile I see him as a buddy/pal?

[Anonymous]

He always hit on me. Now we never see each other cuz he got moved to a new department and was promoted. So he hasn't hit on me since... I can understand why. But every time we bump into each other like once a month he will say I feel lile i never see you anymore.

people online said that means he misses me.

I miss him as a friend. Sure i liked him before but im more mature and i see him as a friend now. there's many reasons on both our ends that we can't ever be together in any way. Im fine with that.

I just wonder what he really sees me as. Like if we were to talk more or even hang out... I fear he would just begin hiting on me endlessly like before. Can a guy start appreciating a woman as a friend suddenly? Does he miss me as a friend or as a sex object?

[4afriend]

Thats a good question. I personally have never had a friend that's a girl ever be just a friend. It always led to a physical situation or a relationship. Or it was a relationship that became just friends. Or it was off limits that became very flirty and touchy. It's hard in my opinion to have a connection and not have a possibility for more. Just do your thing and be respectful to his an your situation.

[Asker]

Yep. I actually wish i never got so close to him. I like to blame it on him and say he was really pursuing my attention. He says he was being friendly. But the amount of attention made me feel he liked me. Then he began hitting on me or talking about sex a lot. So who wouldn't think he was interested by that point?

All i know is if i could go back in time, i would never chat with any guy at work. My heart always gets broken and it always leads me to confusion.

[4afriend]

It is hard to mix work and opposite sex. You did nothing wrong. But in the future if there is a spark with someone, discuss it out side of work. And make work and play separate. It is fun to be secret sometimes. Like being professional at work and playful at quiting time

[Asker]

Yeah i agree... I actually thought early on he was planning to ask me out. But he never did. He just kept talking on and on to me AT work about personal stuff and then came the flirting. I know a lot of people like to have banter to make work enjoyable. But now that i think of it, banter between opposite sexes seems to be bad. In fact a lot of guys do this with me. Im stuck now. Next time i get a new job maybe i can start over.

[4afriend]

If it is a good job, stay.
Another job will have similar situations good and bad. It's possible that he was interested but was concerned about a bad outcome (break up)
Some jobs frown about work relationships. I work with no women. Very boring, but there is no awkward or risky situations. It just work. You have control of the situation. Even if the nicest, cutest guy is interested, you have the right to put your job/career first.

[Asker]

Thanks! If a guy wanted to respectfully (not flirt) ask me out at work and intends on marriage thats fine with me. I dont want a career. I want a job to survive and not be homeless while i am alone but my life goal is to be a housewife and raise children. My only problem is being toyed with which most guys i run into at work want to do whether they consciously intend to or not. Its also hard for me as a woman to not follow a guy. Guys come up to me at work and talk and stuff. I dont pursue anyone. They keep chasing after me. Even if i am (regrettably) rude and ignore them, it doesn't stop them. So i just continue being nice and being led. Unfortunately many are leading me into confusion and heartbreak. But i did and do wish i had the ability to put my job first. I try to keep it at a friendly level with all guys in my mind but there's only so much you can do to keep guys respectful. Guys do what they want and can be pushy if they wanna bed you. They will keep flirting despite it all.

[4afriend]

Things right now might seem complicated. Most guys are horny and greedy at you age group. It will all play out and they will show their true colors. When the right guy is the right guy, it will be obvious. Focus on now and take the good with bad. Just around the corner, more will be revealed. Stay honest to yourself and don't take no shit