I’m going to fit in as many details as possible. We dated for about 9 months in the beginning. She was very much the pursuer those first 9 months and I ended up breaking up with her because I didn’t feel as attracted to her as she did to me. I was also talking to someone else. She found out about it after our break up. During the first break up she needed up talking and sleeping with another man (not saying I blame her, just trying to give you a better understanding of her). Eventually, the no contact and worked on me and I realized how important she really was to me. We ended up building trust back and dated again. At the beginning of this second term, she had plans to go on a day trip with her coworkers. Apparently all of her coworkers pulled out except for this one guy. Since I felt like a dick for breaking up with her and I wanted to build trust back I let her go to NYC with this guy. She has never done anything like that with me. A few months later, probably 10-11, we start to get into more and more arguments about usually small stuff, but the big one being that she doesn’t want to see me as frequently during the week. We have argued about this over the course of our entire relationship. Eventually, toward the end she starts to take away more parts of the relationship. First the sex, she blamed her lack of libido on the depression medication. Sleepovers, then time together. Eventually, one night she comes over crying saying we need a break. She says she needs time to work on herself and get over her depression and that she’s not enough for me since I want to see her more than me. During this time she still texts me and tells me she loves me and stuff like that. A week later she just completely breaks up with me for the same reasons. I cry and she holds my hand and kisses me one last time. She also tells me that she won’t date and it’s ok for me to date. She still texts me for a few days but we agree space would be best. It’s been a month since that. Thoughts?
She is more than likely screwing someone else , she doesn’t want to hurt you, but she clearly isn’t into you , she doesn’t hate you as a person , she just doesn’t have to same passion for you like you do for her. When a girl demands space it’s usually a red flag that she is up to no good , whether she is being honest to you or not , she is clearly up to something , When someone truly values you they don’t need consistent space from you , people that need consistent space are people that are selfish and that only really care about themselves , they don’t know how to give the same way they want to receive , everything is about them. Never fall for someone that says they need space from you , let them go have all the space they want and focus on yourself , Open yourself up to meeting someone new , if you end up meeting another girl during her space time , oh well, cuz the way I look at it bro is you are back to being single again , when someone demands space from you , Never be a sitting duck to someone that can’t value you and prioritize you the same way you do for them , those type of people just like the convenience of you , but they truly don’t value you , I was dating a girl that was amazing to me in the beginning , we were inseparable , intimacy and affection between us wasn’t an issue what so ever , She would be waiting to be in my arms when I got home from work, Her and I had amazing sex consistently , after some time she started slowly distancing herself from me , she made a new girlfriend that acted like they have been these best friends for years , it was very weird to me on how all of a sudden started prioritizing this girlfriend over me all of a sudden , when she never prioritized her other friends over me , she started demanding space from me all of a sudden and was planning these trips with this new girl like they known each other for years , automatically she was excluding me , I wasn’t even a thought , she would come up to me and say her and her friend are going away together on weekend getaways , I said ok have fun and be safe , because I loved and trusted her , but inside I felt a little hurt as to why she didn’t want me tagging along like we always done before, considering I never excluded her from anything , I always wanted her by my side cuz I respected and loved her , when I was invited by friends to go somewhere I never excluded her , so this was all new to me , I felt like all of a sudden I was just a convenience to her and this new friend of hers wasn’t sitting well with me , kind of like she was Gay for my girlfriend , being too close for comfort , My girlfriend started saying things like space is good for us , it will give us time to miss each other blah blah blah , I trusted her thinking maybe I am just being insecure , to find out she was screwing around behind my back , so I no longer wait for a girl that demands space from me , if I am not her top priority , she will not be mine period. I dated another girl that started pulling the same shit but this time around , I didn’t wait for her , I opened my arms to another girl that didn’t want space from me , You need to do the same brother , Most Girls’ are selfish people that only care about themselves , they don’t know how to commit in a relationship, it’s their way or no way , kick those whores to the curb where they belong , Value yourself worth and realize you deserve a girl that doesn’t want to leave your side that knows what it means to be in a committed relationship, People that love each other don’t need consistent space from each other and don’t exclude each other period , You should always be your partner’s top priority over everyone , if you aren’t show them the door. A whore will always be a whore period
Most Helpful Opinions
It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a lot emotionally and mentally. Her breaking up with you seems to stem more from her own issues than any major problems in your relationship. Here are some of her possible thoughts:
• She genuinely needs space and time to work on her depression and mental health. Being in a relationship may have felt overwhelming at times, so taking a step back can give her the bandwidth to focus on herself.
• The guilt and hurt from your previous breakup still lingers, even if you've worked to rebuild trust. Those insecurities may flare up occasionally and affect her feelings towards the relationship.
• Despite caring for you, she may worry that she can't be the girlfriend you deserve right now. Her decreased libido, need for less time together, etc. could make her feel like she's "not enough" in her current state.
• She may be unsure if the relationship is right for her long-term. The arguments you were having, even if seemingly small, could be a sign of underlying incompatibility or impatience on her part.
• There may be residual feelings for the other guy she saw/slept with during your first breakup. Though she claims not to be dating, those feelings could slowly be bubbling up.
In the end, only your girlfriend truly knows what's going on in her mind. But based on her actions and what you've shared, it seems her decision to end things likely has more to do with her own mental health and self-doubt than any major issues with you or your relationship. Giving her the space she's requested is probably the wisest course of action for now. I hope this perspective provides some clarity and insight. Let me know if you have any other questions.
- u
Wow that is a lot to take in. Yeah at face value you two have some insecurity issues and they are warrented because of how things ended the first time and then you never really got past them the second time. That is what I am gettng from it. The second go round you tried to ignore things and feelings but they seemed to creep back and those trust issues were never gone. I would say move on for the both of your sake's. Honestly, I don't see this changing. It is too far gone.
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- u
There is too much negative history here and that means very dim prospects for a decent future together. Time to move on.
she is thinking she can't deal with you now. i doubt you should wait so agree with @OlderAndWiser here.
reading this just makes me sad. i could not stand going thor anything like this with my lovely girlfriend...
She's seeing someone else
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