Why are men so cruel to overweight women?

[EyeCandy_Britt]

My ex when I weighed 155 and I’m 5’8” told me I needed to lose weight every chance he could. And made me work out all the time with him. He’d check out other women too and told me I would be “so hot” if I was fit. Now I’m 122 and fit 3 years later so LMAO jokes on him.
Other men at the time came on to me more and asked me on more dates and would call me “hot” openly and tried to sleep with me. I was also called “23, fat, and stupid” by a guy who asked me out to a drink and to bring my “curves” on over. I rejected him so he said the “23, fat, and stupid” thing. He then proceeded to tell me I’m unstable just because I got emotional over the comment, it was so hurtful. Another guy compared super slender women in front of me and compared me to his ex who had a flat stomach. And he told me I’m not elegant.
This isn’t ok. I don’t have these experiences anymore. In fact guys don’t even come on to me expecting any form of sexual favors. In fact it’s so bad I think I’m not hot sometimes. Overall though I have a higher self esteem now as I’ve realized all these things and do what I can to keep the crud away.
Anyway why do some men treat overweight women like this? It’s dehumanizing and fucked up.

[ohshee]

There you go you answered your own question.
Sometimes in life when people are mean rude or you have to look at it a different way first of all you have to look at it like I don't want to be that person ever to anybody

And then you have to take the positive from it he's trying to tell you exactly who he is he's trying to show you exactly who he is through his words and it's your choice to say you know what you're an asshole Thank you very much for showing me who you are because I don't want anything to do with you

Now if you went about it a different way and motivated you and work out with you and was there for you and he's trying to shows that he likes you and that he wants to be around you no matter what the other way if she doesn't really give a fuck I'd rather be a control freak and control you that's just wrong

[Anonymous]

Honest question: would you have been motivated to lose 30lbs had your ex and others not made fun of you for your weight?

I’m not defending any of them. I grew up as a fat kid and was teased pretty mercilessly about it. Mostly from girls as well as my family. I hate my body and I always will. Even after I lost weight and worked out all the time, one of my girlfriends once told me she wished I had “bigger arms.” Thanks babe. You were a real keeper.

I work out pretty often. Usually 5-6 days a week. I will never look good enough for any woman. Even when I was working out twice a day when I was younger it wasn’t as if women ever approached me.

I wish more guys understood this who were killing themselves in the gym, dieting, doing cardio, and eating chicken and salads constantly. Women aren’t going to hit on you. They just aren’t. Hell they won’t even give you a compliment half the time. Why should they?

[Anonymous]

As much as you may hate it, it’ll never stop. I know we are living in a world where everyone is supposed to be equal or achieve equality but that will never happen. It will never happen because we’re all raised different as far as people’s values, morals, etc. Just the same, a lot of women tend to mistreat men in a number of ways. Neither is right, but it’ll always be there. You do what makes you happy w in reason. I’m not telling someone to go shoot other people or some crazy thing like that because it makes them happy. Some men are just angry w women because of experiences they’ve been through, or their upbringing. Maybe experiencing women who are overweight putting them down saying they’d never date a fat man. There’s a lot of reasons, maturity is a big one. I don’t know what you look like, it would be nice if you posted a pic of your before n’ after pic. Good luck to you.

[IMuser]

It's the equivalent for a guy being judged on the basis of his height and dick size (even though he has no control over him)

It's not right, it's wrong, it just exists. Anyday, you will find people much attractive than unfit people (both men and women). Talking in evolutionary sense, this means that they are healthy enough to copulate and it's an instinctive thing (you wouldn't date a guy if he does not take care of his body even if he is reach and you are financially independent)

[Hellraiser1984]

Um women are cruel to overweight guys. I'm 6' 350lbs. Big build but good looking. I'm nice dress well good hygiene. Girls at college wouldn't do projects with me, or even speak to me. Women completely ignore me. Unless they want to get their boyfriends to make fun of me.

[HighValue]

I have seen plenty of short men experience worse a lot. People treating others badly isn't gender specific.

[Andres77]

I'm sorry for your experience.
It is fucked up.
It's judging a book by the cover and just shows he's no more than a pamphlet... shallow and disposable.

[Alextry]

I think overweight women are sexy and they get me horny. I dare you to see how you make me via chat😏😜

[Anonymous]

Tell ya what hun. An thin obsessed former fat girl is just as unattractive as a fat girl. Maybe you should have spent an equal amount of time on your mental health.

[rabbitzzz]

So what happened to your ex?

[EyeCandy_Britt]

I don’t care 🤣

[In_Trance]

it shows how insecure they are, themselves; it's a projection

[Anonymous]

I was a bit overweight and I got the same responses from women, it's not gendered specific.

[EyeCandy_Britt]

I know that. But generally speaking women are valued in society for their appearance more-so than men.

[Opinion Owner]

You will be surprised, if you are an ugly-looking guy, you have to compensate for it by other means. Money, cars, if you have none nobody will date you when they are young. Fat girls get more dates than fat guys. In college/school I have seen fat women hooking up with many totally fit guys. It's much easier for girls to date dates. Whether the man will stay with them, that's a different thing.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Men and women are both cruel to overweight folks.

[EyeCandy_Britt]

I experienced it more from men so that’s why I’m framing it around that. I’m also curious because women are told that from a societal standpoint they’re valued for their appearance first before even being a human being. I’m not saying men can’t experience this hatred either, but they aren’t valued solely on their looks first and foremost as much as a woman is.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

That may be you experience, but I’d have to agree with @Danny_dan92 on this one. He explained it well. Also @HighValue mentioning short men and their experience being hard.

[Danny_dan92]

Height is another big one.

I been rejected for both my height and when I was overweight.

So trust, I’m very aware of the struggle

[EyeCandy_Britt]

That’s totally fine. I’m ok with being incorrect here. I’m just trying to stimulate conversation and we can bring more discussion into it as well :) I welcome different perspectives.

[EyeCandy_Britt]

@Danny_dan92 I’m so sorry you experienced this. That’s definitely not ok.

[Danny_dan92]

It happens. I don’t take it personally, my life moves on afterwards so why get down over it

[HighValue]

Yeah, I never knew about the short man dilemma until I got on this site a few years ago and saw so many complaining about it. Then I went online and saw many videos of them complaining, and many clips of women laughing about it and not even considering them at all for that reason. I guess being 6' I never had to deal with it, but I didn't realize how common it was.

I think it is fine to not be attracted to certain traits, whether that means weight, height, or whatever, but there is no reason for people to intentionally try to be mean to others for it. I just tell people that "I don't think we are compatible," and then move on without insulting them.

[Anonymous]

Most Overweight Guys don't even get the attention to begin with. Thats even worse if you ask me.

[Danny_dan92]

You think women aren’t cruel to overweight men?

[EyeCandy_Britt]

I never said that?

[Danny_dan92]

Ok well. A lot of women are very cruel to out of shape men.

If you notice the only overweight people we see getting included through “fat acceptance” is males.

To prove this, go to any department store. You’ll see plus size mannequins and pictures of plus size female models in the female clothing section but won’t see any of that in the male section.

That’s the case for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Why are women so cruel to shy guys?

[EyeCandy_Britt]

I’m not! I love shy people in general.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you do, but most women won't date a guy unless he "mans up" and approaches with confidence. Shy guys are usually raised to be that way, but women overwhelmingly reject them for lacking confidence and being unmanly.

[EyeCandy_Britt]

Whatttt? I liked a shy guy who kept smiling and staring at me. I went and said hi to him one day. Now we have a date.

[Opinion Owner]

Glad it worked out for you. I'm talking in general, if you read comments from women about why guys who are shy can't get dates, you will see so much hate from women about guys being "losers" and lacking confidence, being a big turn off. It's not easier for guys to be shy or insecure than it is for girls, but guys are judged very harshly for it, like women are judged harshly for not fitting into ideal beauty standards.

[GlassTop]

It sounds like you want attention?

[Anonymous]

Why are women only dates assholes?

[JessieBellll]

Everybody is

[Deeks1488]

Cause there stupid