Why is he comfortable telling me this stuff?

[Anonymous]

This guy that I'm friends with is comfortable telling me embarrassing personal things that he doesn't tell his girlfriend. Yes , his girlfriend is new. But so is our friendship.

He recently got too drunk and woke up pooping and puking himself. He felt very comfortable telling me about everything that happened (Not in detail, just simply an overall thing)
But he said he was too embarrassed to tell his girlfriend that he got too fucked up and ended up doing that.

So why does he feel comfortable telling me this but not his girlfriend?

This isn't some twisted way of asking "is he into me" as I've seen some people be brutal on here.. just genuine curiosity cause men be weird.

[spartan55]

Would you like it if your boyfriend were sharing more with some 'female friend' than you?

[Asker]

My view on relationships are not the normal for women.
I fully believe that guys and girls can be friends with no hidden motives. So if I were his girlfriend and he told some other girl more details, then that just means that he has a solid friendship with that woman.

But in this scenario, he's sharing more details with me than his girlfriend? Is it just because he's more comfortable with me bc we aren't dating?

[spartan55]

Sorry, I don't buy that for a second. You shouldn't be entertaining that shit from that guy.

[Asker]

I don't follow?
So when he tells me details like said above, I should tell him that it's gross and I don't want to hear about it?

[spartan55]

Do whatever you want, just be prepared for the blowback.

[Asker]

What blowback? I'm genuinely not following.
Am I doing something wrong here?

[spartan55]

You don't think his girlfriend will have a problem with what is going on?

[Asker]

There's nothing going on though?
I may be dumb, but do you not believe that were just friends? It's not like he's telling me his deepest darkest secrets... he's just telling me some details that he'd omit to her.

[spartan55]

You aren't getting it.

[Asker]

Obviously I'm not getting it because I don't understand what's bad about it.

[spartan55]

Because you are allowing him to emotionally cheat. I understand that have the extremely naive notion that boys and girls can be friends. Understand that most people know that's a joke and trust me when I say that given a choice no guy wants to be your friend.
So when his girlfriend finds out and tells you to fuck off and take a hike then what?

[Asker]

So him telling me that he pooped and puked his guts out in the bathtub is him emotional cheating?
Why would he be friends with me if he didn't wanna be friends? That makes literally zero sense.
Also, if she told me to fuck off because he told me a gross detail he didn't tell her, I would honestly just look at her like she was dumb.

[spartan55]

Wow... you have a very idealistic view of relationships. Guys hang around and are 'friends' with girls for sex, or the possibility of sex. Him sharing that with you isn't what I would call emotional cheating, but he was just seeing how you would react. Soon he will be complaining about her, talk about sex issues, just wait, it may not come tomorrow or even next week. But it will.
So you wouldn't step aside out of respect for their relationship if one them asked?

[Asker]

I'm not able to PM on here, but now I have some questions for you that I wanna ask privately..

If either of them asked me to step aside , I would absolutely do it, but not over something dumb like him telling me he shit himself and not her.
I'm not ever trying to make someone feel insecure in their relationship or ever trying to hurt them.

[spartan55]

Try following me on my profile.

[Asker]

I did but I can't message you because my Xper level isn't high enough 😞

[spartan55]

Hold on

[spartan55]

Was it rainy days something?

[Asker]

Yes.

[spartan55]

Okay I just followed you, does that make a difference? I could dm you but your account is private.

[Asker]

It doesn't make a difference sadly. My profile isn't private, I just haven't used it enough. Ummm...

[Asker]

Do u have a snapchat? I have a not real account I can add you on if ya do

[spartan55]

I do not

[spartan55]

The only other thing I can think of is if you have a throw away

[Asker]

I do actually have a throw away

[spartan55]

Stand by, I'm trying something

[Asker]

Okay

[spartan55]

DamageInc2005

[spartan55]

Snapchat

[Asker]

Added

[Anonymous]

He's comfortable telling you because he doesn't worry about it being a turn off, or killing sexual attraction because he sees you as one of the lads.

[Asker]

Sweet.

[jasco]

Because he doesn't wanna look bad in front of his girlfriend

[Asker]

Thats fair, but he's comfortable looking bad in front of me. So I guess that's good on some level?

[spartan55]

@asker
Why does it matter if it's 'good' or not?

[Asker]

If I'm investing my time and energy in someone, I'd like for it to be good.

[jasco]

I don't know honestly i guess it could ejust be for stress relief

[Asker]

Well, I'm glad he feels comfortable telling someone. I just think it's weird for him to tell me as a female friend, rather than his girlfriend or even his male friends.
So on some level, he's comfortable with me because he knows I won't judge?

[In_Trance]

Probably cuz he feels he has nothing to lose with you

[Asker]

What do you mean by that?
Like no matter what he says , I'm not gonna be like "gross" and leave?

[In_Trance]

Pretty much. Whether he tells you or not... What's going to happen any differently?

[Asker]

Nothing will happen differently, I hope.
I just dont know how to feel about him telling me those details?

[In_Trance]

You can feel however you want. I don't know what you do with that information really

[Asker]

The answer I'm honestly hoping to get is that he feels comfortable with me and that we have a solid friendship.

[In_Trance]

I have a lot of solid friendships and I can't remember a time I ever discussed passing out and taking a dump with one of those people

[Asker]

Well some guys are weird