Guys, Boys, I have a male friend that never texts first but replies quickly with usually one word. Why he can't reply the way he does in real life?

[random_girl95]

I have an introvert male friend whom I known for 2 years. We became close one and a half month ago when we went to a party together and I texted him the next day to ask him how he's been. From that day we began texting almost everyday about different topics. The thing that I was worried is that if I don't send him a text first he will never send. Our relationship is platonic and I want it to stay that way. The thing that I am worried is that his responses are too short, usually he replies with one word while me on the contrary I text as I would speak in real life. So I get angry at him but I don't tell him anything. If he never texts first but replies quick to my texts with usually one word it means that he doesn't want to talk to me? Am I bothering him? What should I do?

[NamerOfStars]

Hmm... is using other forms of communicating an option? It could be that he's just not a good texter, and knows it. It's less convenient, but is just calling him an option? If so, does that get better results?

[random_girl95]

Yes I can call him if I want but to be honest I only call people that I know very good. It's true that I have known him for 2 years now, but we didn't talk at all back then. It's recently that we became close so I still don't feel that relaxed to call him instead of texting him

[NamerOfStars]

Hmm. Well, if your conversations go better in person, then I'd guess that it's the limits of texting that're the problem. If calling's not an option, see if you can find something else, and try that.

[Adam1978]

Yes you are clearly not wanted, so get the hint.

[random_girl95]

Even if we talk fine in real life? Isn't real life which matters the most?

[Adam1978]

Of course, but talking isn't the same as wanting a relationship. He might just not be a phone/text person. You have to use what work for both of you. Him talking to you doesn't mean interest in a relationship. It can just trying to be nice and be polite. Unless he take initiative then you are just a person he deals with not someone he actively wants in his life.

[random_girl95]

I am thankful Adam for making the situation clearer for me

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

First, if he is texting you as quickly as possible, then he also wants to talk with you. I am sure of that.
This would have been a problem had you not mentioned his introversion. He is having a confidence problem. He wants to talk with you, but lacks the confidence.

Lets consider that he was not an introvert. Then the responses would have meant that he is interested in you, but is in dilemma as to whether to ask you or not. I believe.

I also write as if I am talking in real life with a friend of mine. But her responses are like 'hmm', 'ho'(yes in regional language). You get it right? Short responses, that too 1 or 1.5 hours later. We were talking at start, but right now we have drifted apart. Sometimes the responses were so vague that I clarified with her for the meaning.

What you can do is rather than messaging him, try to know him more by in person interaction. Maybe something may come out of it.

[random_girl95]

@the_shadow_dweller I guess you are right about getting to know him better in real life. I just feel that I don't have the time to meet with him or just see him very often, that's why I asked that question about his texting behavior. My opinion is that in nowadays, even if I don't personally like it , to keep in touch with people you need to text them. Otherwise you will lose contact.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Oh yes definitely. Because if you text them only when they are required, it will send a wrong message.
I still talk with her in classes. So not mich of a big deal. Its just, the online medium between us seems to be dissolving.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

But like you said, I will keep textong and trying.

[random_girl95]

@the_shadow_dweller so if it is dissolving then (giving an imaginary scenario once more lol) and she changes class or college then it means you will lose contact for sure.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am in 3rd year of engineering. She is in the same class as mine for at least 1 ½ uears more.

I alsp have her LinkedIn. So that is a good thing.

TBH she is one of the many girls. But she is a really good girl. Worth remembering.
I said this because, since 5th standard I have continuously changed schools till 10th. Met soo many people. Some liked me while some disliked me. Met many wonderful people, left many. Now it is at the point where I am like just let them go. Someone will come. Its like I do not care that much now. My only rule, just be on good terms with all of them. If not possible, then leave them, but never on bad terms.

The world is really small. We are bound to meet sometime again. That should not be uncomfortable.

[Кураж]

I think it is pretty clear he is not interested in talking to you.
Most men have no interest in platonic relationships with most women, since those relationships rarely ever benefit us.

[random_girl95]

Ok so I can't be friends with him?

[Кураж]

You can, it's just a matter of finding something interesting to talk about, common interests etc.
It's not that you are "bothering him" or anything, you two probably just don't have a lot of in common.

Men's friendships are pragmatic, pursued out of convenience.
We don't really care about the other person or their emotional availability, we care about the entertainment value of a friendship.

[random_girl95]

Appreciate your honestly

[IMuser]

Maybe he sucks at texting? Try to call him perhaps? I am detailed on texting but super anxious while talking in person

[random_girl95]

Honestly I am a bit afraid to do so😅

[IMuser]

Why?

[random_girl95]

We became close recently. Don't feel so chilled to call him just for chat.

[IMuser]

I see

[random_girl95]

I called him a few times because I was arranging a going out but that was it.

[TheAnon1]

I’d recommend seeing if/when he’s available to talk on the phone. in my opinion texting is annoying unless it’s brief or I’m busy

[random_girl95]

He is available most of the times

[TheAnon1]

Yeah so I’d call him instead of texting. If he seems to not be interested on the phone and not seeing you exclusively in person, I’d move on.

[random_girl95]

That's the thing. In person we talk just fine but it text he says nothing

[TheAnon1]

Call him

[boggboss]

Just seems like he was doing aomthing at the time or bad at texting

[random_girl95]

So am I always catching him at bad time lol?

[boggboss]

Depends u said he is addicted to games which means he is probobly always gaming in his free time

[random_girl95]

He said that he used to be addicted in gaming. As I understood now he isn't.

[boggboss]

For me it would be the perfect answer as to why he dry texts most gamers do

[random_girl95]

Ok, then if he's fine when we talk in real life it means that we still can be friends right?

[boggboss]

Your the one that has a issue not him lol

[TrillXHippy]

Stop wasting your time on someone who is not interested in you and move on

[Wise4myage]

Does he hate texting? And have you asked?

[TheAnon1]

I’m the same way, let’s get straight to the point

[random_girl95]

I don't know if he hates text. He once told me that he was addicted to gaming and texted a lot with different people so he had experience with texting. Maybe it affected him in some way and he doesn't wants to text much I don't know honestly

[Wise4myage]

I say ask him.

[random_girl95]

Go straight to him and ask him do you hate texting?

[Wise4myage]

Just casually mention it when you are texting him.

[random_girl95]

I stopped texting him some time ago lol. Cause I knew he will reply with one word