Guys, Hi guys can you offer some advice please and don't be judgmental?

[Anonymous]

So. I was with my ex for 8 years. And engaged. Another woman got involved October last year. She was told to leave him alone. We started arguing and obviously broke up he ghosted me for 4 days in December then told me he was looking at houses and made up some lies and I called him on it and kicked him out as I told him "anyone else would think you fancied her". He shuddered. However roll on January and a few "your seeing things what's not there " another argument happened, I got blocked everywhere and he ran off with the other woman, told me he didn't see a future with me and ran off with her 4 days later and he's been with her since. She's 51, he's 32. Is this a rebound or monkey branch please?

[ohshee]

You dont need any Advice.
You handled it perfectly I would have done the exact same thing

It just goes to show you something so silly something so stupid a guy would have to lie about it there's no reason to lie you're going to lunch I don't think it really matter where you're going but as soon as you catch him in one night then you're going to catch him in two and three and four
I know it's probably hard on you because you're making it hard on you you're the only one that can make it easy on yourself by saying you did the right thing and I think you did do the right thing you don't want some guy that's going to lie to you and then disappear for 4 days and then come back as if nothing even happened.

Easier said than done but you have to let it go let him go work on yourself and everything else will work out it will all fall in place don't be negative like I said Let It Go Don't let it even enter into your mind anymore you got this you can handle it

[Asker]

Thank you for the kind words! It's not been an easy ride, I was just wondering how can guys just run off into new relationships just like that without healing stuff first? I could see it coming a mile off to be honest. I think he's seeking validation in her to make it alright in his eyes. I even tried to be civil! (We shared pets and things) and he just doesn't want to know. All I can say is his loss!

[ohshee]

I'm going to agree with you one hundred percent and I say that because everything that is done he did it because he cannot be a man and admit that he's wrong so he took the easy way out and since there's somebody else there that he can take that out with he's going to go her way the bad news is one day the same things going to happen with her and him he's going to want to come back to you and that's going to be your choice whether you let him in or not but I would say no if it was me because he just proved exactly who he is when the going gets tough I can tell you it's going to be his last just by the words that you speak I think he blew it but it's going to be your gain because it wasn't meant to be anyway from the start of your question to the end of it to the start of your answer to me right now to the end of it I can tell you well I better not tell you that that was going to get deep LOL what I can say is that you know you will be okay your heart broke but your heart broke that means you are the only one that can fix it from the inside out I would do it as soon as possible because you have good things waiting for you I actually think you're going to experience something beautiful or you can experience Something Beautiful and it's going to open up your eyes to a whole different world

[Asker]

I 100% agree with this statement for a first real relationship and lots of real first things, yes my heart broke and yes he's wirh someone else which stung so much more, I am healing! It may take me some time but it won't stop me from thinking the positive things will come my way! I have been told he's practically living with her at the moment so his loss! As for me, I'm sticking to my recovery plan and look better for the next guy!

[ohshee]

You're looking good right now you're smart about the whole thing you feel you see you learn and it makes you good makes you a very deep person to and you have to remember one thing it's only going to hurt you as much as you want to do because that pain comes from the inside of you you're the only one that can control that nobody can hurt you from the outside not in this it is physical and I don't think you're going to do that or anybody else so your healing process is going to take as long as you wanted to because you are the only person that can feel what you feel if I was you LMAO no I'm not going to say that that would have been naughty but you got this play have fun learn something else feel something else deeper better let yourself experience things that's the only way we grow experience things you need to have fun and smile and know that everything's going to be okay

[Anonymous]

It really doesn't matter. He's made his choice. You can't make someone want to be with you. Did you drive him away, or did he leave you? Only you can answer that. This is why you can't REACT to the way people choose to be. You need to know what you're willing to accept and not willing to accept from people. And reward good behavior, and accept shortcomings within that. And when someone crosses a deal-breaker you need to know when to walk away. Even if you love them! Because people who love you don't intentionally do that. That is a toxic relationship.
I don't know you but based on what you posted you come off as emotional, unfocused, and lacking clear boundaries. Like it or not however much you may love someone, they're there own separate person. You HAVE to accept that.
Good luck!

[20yearsolder]

Sounds to me like you need to find another man, who gives a shit what you call it. Rebound or monkey branch whatever the hell that is. He's done with you and you should be done with him

[Adam1978]

Well you are way past no return. Maybe you could have dealt with it in a way where you won. But you didn't and now have to continue a life without having anything to do with them.

[boggboss]

Why are u still chasing after a guy that clearly don't like u

[Asker]

If you read my comments I said I'm not chasing above and don't be judgmental

[boggboss]

I'm not I'm just confused this guy sounds like a absolute dickhead so why even care what or why he is doing

[Asker]

I'm just curious about these behaviours exes get. I was happy to remain civil because we shared some pets and things but obviously it's not going that way it was my first real relationship at 27. I'm now 35 so not really experienced much

[boggboss]

Seems he simply never respected u or cared for u at the end

[Asker]

That's what I figured out suppose the worst was how he left it 4 days before running off with her and then blames me for the breakup

[boggboss]

Because people rarely accept accountability

[spartan55]

Call it whatever you need to, it doesn't matter really.

[TrillXHippy]

That’s quite the predicament, I don't know what to say about that

[Wise4myage]

Iif he's still with her, than its not a rebound.

[Asker]

Yes he is. I thought it might have been because he literally told me he didn't see a future with me but the strange thing is he blames me for kicking him out and then has been playing victim since and won't even be civil? So if he doesn't care, why do guys do this? I'm literally blocked on everything. Strangest thing that he wanted his chain and ring back that I bought him everything else had to be sorted out via parents etc.

[Wise4myage]

It probably makes him feel less guilty by blaming you. But focus on moving on.

[Asker]

I have been, got a weight loss plan and everything all doing the things I said I would. I was just curious how he can switch off after 4 days then jumping straight into it? Stung more than him staying single tbh. I've stayed single. Month 4. I'm just trying to figure out his behaviour. (Not that I want him back because after how he's acted thus far, I never expected him to be this immature but you don't know what someone's like til you break up I guess)

[Guy13]

Mommie Dearest…

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Asker]

Thats not a helpful response; the questions about behaviours. 4 months on, I'm over it.