Does this sound like Autism?

[lillucy]

Since living with my husband I’m noticing some odd things about him and it has me worried.
First thing he has absolutely no common sense. He talks to spam/robo callers and doesn’t realize they’re not real people! He always hands his receipts back to fast food workers even after I told him he doesn’t need to. He always forgets and loses his things. He can’t remember his own appointments. He recently lost his car at the mall for 1 hour! He can’t read body language and doesn’t realize when people don’t want to talk to him.
He always gets too close in my face. He is a slow learner. He doesn’t understand social rules and once talked over a cop which caused him trouble. He easily gets mad about little things. He holds grudges against me. And I’d say his special interests are everywhere to do with cars and driving even though he’s not good at it! He has trouble following gps and often goes down streets in the opposite direction.
I know it’s hard to diagnose but does that sound like enough to at least have him tested? I have been very stressed out and hate having to explain/do everything for him.

[Massageman]

This sounds more like the beginning of low grade dementia.
In a course my wife (a counselor) and I took, there is evidence now that brain scans can show dementia 25-30 YEARS before there are outward signs of actual dementia-like behavior.
Consider the revelation of the strange actions and patterns a lucky break and an early warning. Set an appointment by a Psychiatrist (a Medical Doctor who deals with issues of the mind), or testing from a Certified Psychologist to get the ball rolling on his recovery.

[lillucy]

Now that I think about it you may be right. My dad was diagnosed with low grade dementia in his 40s and he has trouble with the gps driving in the wrong lane too

[Massageman]

A logical person would think that a brain scan would be one of the first tests to be done. But, since it costs upward of $10K, it is usually one of the last. So 25-30 years later, the patient displays symptoms and has to be put on treatment/management plans that cost $100K a year or more, and these costs are being paid with cheaper dollars due to inflation. Kinda makes you wonder why they didn't want to do the brain scan which would cost the equivalent of less than two months' worth of treatment AFTER the fact. Digressing for a minute, I found out that my dad's side of the family has fair to horrible arches, and our shoulders aren't all that great either. Now it is clear to me why my father did some activities in a more convoluted way (to protect his shoulder), or not at all when I was a kid. My cousin- who is about 8-9 years my senior- tells me his exploits about his weak ankles, falling arches, slap-foot walking, etc. Now that I have a perspective from which to view these "updates", I am finding that I am beginning to experience the very same things. My cousin will be my guide, since it seems that I am following in his footsteps about the arches (no pun intended). I hope that things work out for you and you find out if there is a reversible bio/physiological reason for his actions/inactions/confusion.

[OldWorldOrder]

It actually sounds like he's just stupid. You should have his IQ tested before you do anything else. My guess is he'll place in the low 90s.

I'll never understand why people don't screen their boyfriends & girlfriends properly before they have kids or get married.

[lillucy]

Lol well then he’s a special kind of stupid like Mr Bean
It’s not common to do those kind of screenings in our religion/culture we just get married fast but it would be helpful

[England4eva]

Did you have an arranged marriage or just not enough time to get a full evaluation? At least you’re helping him. The truth is the foundation to opening doors, to fixing and helping him. Without it you just go round in circles. Just be super selective how you explain this to him in person.

[lillucy]

@England4eva No it wasn’t arranged, we don’t usually get time to know our spouses before marriage sometimes you only get to look at the person 1 time and then you get married. I got to spend a few days with him before marriage and was concerned about his driving/forgetfulness. I spoke to him about it last night he said the parking lots are too big and that’s why he keeps losing the car lol

[England4eva]

Aww bless him lol, I kinda feel sorry. I think as a man, it’s going to be very difficult for him to admit his weaknesses, especially to the woman he provides for. They all wanna be king of the castle, ya know 🙂

Maybe, you can frequently phrase men in the media who seek help, and tell him in general conversation that strong men are those that can admit a problem, as it allows them to fix it. Make this not so obvious, but a common discussion. Might help if you eventually feel the need to bring up getting evaluated?

The car lot being too big cracked me up lol. I hope it all works out. You sound a good soul 👍

[LazerBean]

How did you not notice any of that before getting married?

[lillucy]

We’re Muslim so we don’t date and only spent a week together before marriage. I did notice the driving/gps difficulty but I thought it was just because he was nervous and not used to driving in my high traffic state. And I saw him forgetting things too but again I thought he was just nervous being around me for the first time.

[exitseven]

He might have something going on. He needs a psych eval from a professional.

[lillucy]

I’ll make sure he gets one

[spartan55]

And of course you didn't know ANY of these things about him before you married him... 🙄

[TheSpaceGnome]

That sounds like dementia or alzheimer's. People really need to stop calling everything autism.

[lillucy]

I’m not one of “those” people, I’ve had Autistic friends and noticed some similarities. He’s only 31 either way an evaluation is necessary

[TheSpaceGnome]

You can get dementia and alzhiemer's at any age, it's just more common in older people.

[TheSpaceGnome]

In the same way that anyone can fracture a hip, but it's more common in older people.

[Anonymous]

i assume your husband had to pursue you or ask you out

[Anonymous]

Well at least you're not judgmental. 🤣

[lillucy]

Lol I’m usually more patient but since I’m pregnant I can’t deal with him

[In_Trance]

no, this guy seems like a dickhead